Neighbour was angry with me today. Dont know what to do.

[bbabythai]

We are renovating and on the 4th floor we took out a leaking window and guys today filled the space with bricks/ concrete. Outside looks down on our neighbours back garden/ small driveway. Small bits of concrete must have fallen down. They have black mesh over the top of some plants/ trees and I did notice some minor spots of concrete down there. 

 

The workers told me that she was complaining. I went down there to the gate (gave her a wai) and she immediately was <deleted> at me saying ' no good' and holding up her hand at me when I tried to offer 500 baht saying many times 'no good'. 

 

On friday we are hiring a 'cherry picker' machine to lift the worker up over their gate and the cement rendering will be done on the outside of our building. Its a tricky situation now and I dont know how to handle it if they disapprove. I 100% need that area to be cement rendered. I dont know what happens if its not done. Will rain make its way through to the inside wall that has been cement rendered?

 

Last week we did write a short note with photos of the machine stating that it will be parked on public land outside their yard and will reach over. We offered them 10% discount on our business. 

 

These people are mega weird. The other evidence is that a few months ago we did write to them to ask if we could put a small shelter thing over that same window space to stop the rain hitting that area. They didnt call my wifes number and we decided to go and ring the bell at the gate. The old man was there sitting in the car port area. He saw us and immediately put up has hand to wave us away. They are both very unfriendly. 

 

Thus, what do I do if they complain about the machine. I see 3 options

1. Put on my ugly angry face and extend my arm / hand and wave them away-as has been done to me.. Basically dont say anything and tell the workers to continue. 

2. Offer her some plastic to put over the area.

3. If they do try to stop us I will have to get very angry and raise my voice and show my <deleted> off face. 

 

I know number 3 is not the go in thailand but sometimes it does get results over here. 

Any advice is appreciated

[BritManToo]

7 minutes ago, bbabythai said:

The workers told me that she was complaining. I went down there to the gate (gave her a wai) and she immediately was <deleted> at me saying ' no good' and holding up her hand at me when I tried to offer 500 baht saying many times 'no good'. 

Never initiate a wai to someone of lesser social/financial/educational status than yourself.

They will see you as inferior or weak.

Edited July 15, 2020 by BritManToo

[Malawi]

Just ignore the old bat.

[Pilotman]

Tell them you are going to do it, preferably in writing (in Thai of course) then just do it. If they are already unreasonable, there is nothing you can do that will make the situation better, or indeed worse and you must protect your property. 

[Puchaiyank]

Take a Thai with you...or let the Thai go alone...explain to neighbor what work remains...offer her 1,000...be willing to go higher if necessary...set a limit. 

 

You can not put a price on good neighbor relationship...

 

Better to nip this in the bud now...

[steven100]

I wouldn't bother saying anything .... they have already shown they disapprove of your work .... hence not saying anything is actually telling them to go f ..  ...  and it will show them your not interested in their whining.

[sammieuk1]

Back in the nineties I had a neighbor very angry with me I did 15 months for a first offence and it turned out for him I was far angrier than him that day.

 

The moral to my story is buy her some flowers and a basket of fruit no matter how distasteful it may be if doesn't do the trick hit her with it????

[2long]

I disagree with BritManToo.

I think you should just be civil. It sounds like they're impossible to please.

[thaibeachlovers]

Probably PO because the OP did not get their permission before starting the work.

Needs a Thai to sort this. If the OP is married then it's her job.

 

I'd suggest not doing any more till an agreement is reached.

 

[Sujo]

Why say anything at all. Just show her the permits.

[thaibeachlovers]

44 minutes ago, bbabythai said:

I went down there to the gate (gave her a wai) and she immediately was <deleted> at me saying ' no good'

Given farangs don't know how to wai properly, the OP may have insulted her by doing it wrong.

[thaibeachlovers]

49 minutes ago, bbabythai said:

3. If they do try to stop us I will have to get very angry and raise my voice and show my <deleted> off face. 

Do that and it's not them that will end up losing.

 

You say "us". That indicates a wife. If she is Thai why are you getting involved at all? It's her job to fix the problem.

 

BTW, silicone fixes leaking windows.

Edited July 15, 2020 by thaibeachlovers

[shdmn]

The best advice I ever read was to just not wai.  Farangs aren't expected to do it and will never do it right anyways. If you do it wrong or to the wrong people you look like an ass.  So just don't, ever.

Edited July 15, 2020 by shdmn

[ravip]

(Small bits of concrete must have fallen down. They have black mesh over the top of some plants/ trees and I did notice some minor spots of concrete down there.)

 

Going Rambo style, you might shoot yourself on the foot which can be terrible on the long run. On the other hand, wet cement droppings are a real pain to clean.

Before starting the rendering, why not cover the bottom with plastic or whatever and leave the place spotless after the job.

I mean, is that NOT the easiest and best thing to do?

 

Edit

Showing different faces and getting into complicated wai traditions etc would only bring more complications IMHO

Edited July 15, 2020 by ravip

[Kwasaki]

45 minutes ago, bbabythai said:

2. Offer her some plastic to put over the area.

Don't understand why you are so bothered really you need to do work on your property to make improvements.

Offering protection for her neighbouring property is OK whatever it needs that is reasonable, you need the work done so just get on with it and finish it.

[scoutman360]

Did you offer to clean up the mess in their yard? Did you show up with a broom and dust pan? Sounds like you are just saying sorry and making them clean it up.

 

I once had a neighbors dog dig under our fence and tear up my backyard. The neighbor came over, repaired everything, and paid for the damages. I was pretty upset, but his efforts calmed me down.

[ravip]

2 minutes ago, scoutman360 said:

Did you offer to clean up the mess in their yard? Did you show up with a broom and dust pan? Sounds like you are just saying sorry and making them clean it up.

 

I once had a neighbors dog dig under our fence and tear up my backyard. The neighbor came over, repaired everything, and paid for the damages. I was pretty upset, but his efforts calmed me down.

Perfect!

Accidents can happen in life.

[Eibot]

57 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Never initiate a wai to someone of lesser social/financial/educational status than yourself.

They will see you as inferior or weak.

Or just a friendly farang who is doing his best to comply to the Thai culture.

 

Just be friendly, it will get you the furthest. 

[Eibot]

Seems to me you are trying to be friendly. If they don't accept it, than they don't. Life too short to worry about unfriendly neighbors. 

[geriatrickid]

not too long ago we had a different  variation of this story with  workers walking on the farang's wall, and  people  saying  to take a hard line.

Well, here we have a thai couple who are being annoyed by  construction work at a farang   building that is damaging the Thai property.  The advice given of course  is to  ignore the Thais and keep at it.

 

The property undergoing  work has a legal and moral obligation to protect any adjacent property from damage. It is the worksite responsibility to effect protective measures.  If the Thai  family does not wish to accept such measures, this should be documented because the thais will have a legal right to pursue for damages. Offering 500 baht in a disdainful manner won't do the trick. The Thais should have been given advance notice of the work and protective measures should have been effected. They were not. If someone did this to me, I would be upset too.

 

[samsensam]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

Never initiate a wai to someone of lesser social/financial/educational status than yourself.

They will see you as inferior or weak.

 

agree, just shows you dont understand thai culture, i cringe whenever i see foreigners waiing locals right left and centre... just take a moment to understand the wai, it's quite easy.

[jacob29]

1 hour ago, samsensam said:

 

agree, just shows you dont understand thai culture, i cringe whenever i see foreigners waiing locals right left and centre... just take a moment to understand the wai, it's quite easy.

I cringe whenever I hear someone suggest you should support an antiquated system that entrenches or elevates classism. Surely you are better than that - and just maybe these foreigners know *exactly* what they're doing.

Edited July 15, 2020 by jacob29

[Kadilo]

Don’t know why you are getting involved. Leave it to Thai on Thai. Your presence is just aggravating them more. 

[ravip]

8 hours ago, Eibot said:

Seems to me you are trying to be friendly. If they don't accept it, than they don't. Life too short to worry about unfriendly neighbors. 

Life could become shorter, by annoying unfriendly neighbours!

Normally, people don't become unfriendly or angry without any rhyme or reason (of course there are exceptions to the rule).

[1FinickyOne]

It is you infringing on their space and creating problems even if just some cement dust... have someone who they are not angry with go over and explain things to them before you infringe again and let them know you will make amends for any damage... 

 

I think nobody wants to be in their situation... 'sorry, but we need to improve our property and may damage yours in the process...'

 

And especially for old people... they don't really need this in their life... small things can seem bigger...  

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, ravip said:

Life could become shorter, by annoying unfriendly neighbours!

Normally, people don't become unfriendly or angry without any rhyme or reason (of course there are exceptions to the rule).

Maybe they don't like 'dirty farang' and are scared of catching a disease from you.

Alf Garnett never needed a reason to be angry at foreigners!

Edited July 15, 2020 by BritManToo

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, Eibot said:

Or just a friendly farang who is doing his best to comply to the Thai culture.

 

Just be friendly, it will get you the furthest. 

Be friendly, smile and don't wai. Farangs have no idea how to wai properly and it's not expected.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, samsensam said:

 

agree, just shows you dont understand thai culture, i cringe whenever i see foreigners waiing locals right left and centre... just take a moment to understand the wai, it's quite easy.

It's not easy at all. Saying it is shows that one doesn't know how to do it properly, IMO.

Edited July 15, 2020 by thaibeachlovers

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, geriatrickid said:

not too long ago we had a different  variation of this story with  workers walking on the farang's wall, and  people  saying  to take a hard line.

Well, here we have a thai couple who are being annoyed by  construction work at a farang   building that is damaging the Thai property.  The advice given of course  is to  ignore the Thais and keep at it.

 

The property undergoing  work has a legal and moral obligation to protect any adjacent property from damage. It is the worksite responsibility to effect protective measures.  If the Thai  family does not wish to accept such measures, this should be documented because the thais will have a legal right to pursue for damages. Offering 500 baht in a disdainful manner won't do the trick. The Thais should have been given advance notice of the work and protective measures should have been effected. They were not. If someone did this to me, I would be upset too.

 

If a neighbour didn't get my permission to drop building debris on my property before starting the work, and clean it up after I'd be more than upset. I might be calling the local plod to come visit them.

[ravip]

12 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Maybe they don't like 'dirty farang' and are scared of catching a disease from you.

Sometimes, unknowingly, ones 'attitude' attract misery to oneself... Retrospection might help, but no guarantee!