Wife always getting angry and short tempered..

[Keyser Soze666]

7 minutes ago, Heppinger said:

  Show her your teeth, let her know why evolution decided you, and not her, should have testosterone. 

Oh I do, absolutely tear into her on numerous occasions. Never laid a glove on her though.

[Dumbastheycome]

Judging by  some of the  retorts/replies I am thinking  maybe this is a troll  or the real problem  is the  OP.

Asking  about  womens'  issues  and  rubbishes even the  idea  of an opinion from one ?

 

[BritManToo]

6 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Just saying you should get out into the real world a bit. Those expats that you look down your nose at who go out drinking maybe you should go join them and come out from behind your tranquil innocent little life.

 

You actually suggested Sheryl?? I mean really, come on!

I was very good friends with a woman who was a psychiatric nurse specialising in 'women's problems'.

She told me, "I've never met a woman whose personality was ever better after menopause, the effects are rarely temporary, and most were a lot worse after no matter what medicine they took".

Edited July 18, 2020 by BritManToo

[Brunolem]

25 minutes ago, robblok said:

I mean if it is hormonal or mental maybe something can be done. 

Maybe the woman should be tested for covid 19.

 

The damn bug is known to alter the mind in some cases...

[JWRC]

I doubt it's menopause as she is only 40. Ask yourself why is anyone unhappy?? quite possibly she is as unhappy as you are, maybe you have just out grown each other, maybe it's the same thing day in and day out and nothing to look forward to and so on. f I was in your position, I would be having a frank  discussion about what it's like to live like that how it makes you feel, and discuss how she feels, and then make your moves from there. One thing I do know, life is too short to live in a situation that makes you miserable. Good Luck.

[Keyser Soze666]

3 minutes ago, JWRC said:

I doubt it's menopause as she is only 40. Ask yourself why is anyone unhappy?? quite possibly she is as unhappy as you are, maybe you have just out grown each other, maybe it's the same thing day in and day out and nothing to look forward to and so on. f I was in your position, I would be having a frank  discussion about what it's like to live like that how it makes you feel, and discuss how she feels, and then make your moves from there. One thing I do know, life is too short to live in a situation that makes you miserable. Good Luck.

The ship has sailed now but I probably should have taken us back to the Uk years ago, we would have had a lot more to do, better social life, and not be under each other feet all the time. Each day here just rolls into the next, then there is the crazy never ending heat to deal with. 

[kingofthemountain]

30 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Many will leave, I don't want to live my latter years like this, but some have kids, and they are the priority now, because you are the parent.It will get worse, and some will end it. Being miserable isn't fun, and staying doesn't fix things, unless they start to see it isn't you

By chance my daughter was already a teen when i decided to end with her mother 

then i have a long discussion with her, she was only 13 but i remember very well was

she said to me

 

''if you stay together but are not happy and have arguments all the time

even if it's difficult for me i prefer 10 X you being divorced

and happy each on his way, as long as i can see each of you on a regular basis

andi don't want to be involved in your arguments''

 

Some weeks after this we were divorced, the well being of my child was my priority

and to know she was mosre sad with us together but unhappy rather than separate

but happy was the most important in my decision

 

i had custody of the child but her mother had the keys of the house and was free

to come to see her at any moment

Edited July 18, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[KarenBravo]

52 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Hear what you're saying, I know we have our 'disagreements' but I do appreciate you as a poster.

 

The thing is, this is not going to change, probably just get worse. Having kids has boxed me in, don't want to walk away from them, but at the same time I deserve to be happy too, or maybe not?

Seeking happiness? A fool's errand.

Much better to seek contentment.

[fredwiggy]

https://www.healthline.com/health/could-it-be-bipolar-signs-to-look-for

[BritManToo]

4 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

The ship has sailed now but I probably should have taken us back to the Uk years ago, we would have had a lot more to do, better social life, and not be under each other feet all the time. Each day here just rolls into the next, then there is the crazy never ending heat to deal with. 

Nah, she'd have turned out the same, but owning your house and half your pension.

Not to mention 19 years child maintenance, and a 2 hours a week supervised child visit order.

Better off here.

Edited July 18, 2020 by BritManToo

[kingofthemountain]

27 minutes ago, Heppinger said:

Your a lucky man having Thai kids dedicate yourself to them and treat them well as they will return the favor when your old and decrepit and not just stick you in a nursing home.  As you know Thai culture is very different to western, including within relationships.  Some Thai women wont respect men who are indecisive or "easy going".   Show her your teeth, let her know why evolution decided you, and not her, should have testosterone. 

You can never know how people can turn on the long term

including your child. It was a long tradition here in Thailand

for the young people to take care of their old family members

in a rural and poor country, but the Thai society changes

very quick and i don't bet the next generations be in the same mood.

For your second part of your post you are right, most of the Thais girls and ladies

like when the man is ''in charge''. Few exceptions, but if you let them at the wheel

don't be surprised if you end in the ditch

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Keyser Soze666 said:

The ship has sailed now but I probably should have taken us back to the Uk years ago, we would have had a lot more to do, better social life, and not be under each other feet all the time. Each day here just rolls into the next, then there is the crazy never ending heat to deal with. 

Same as I. Wanted to live back in the US, but she wanted to stay near family, who are disappearing every year to do their own thing. A thousand times better life, many more things to do. Better school system. Better doctors. Four seasons. Good outdoor hobbies. Here it's about the most boring place on earth, after maybe Antarctica, with the exception of the beaches, which for us are 8 hours away.

[86Tiger]

6 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

The ship has sailed now but I probably should have taken us back to the Uk years ago, we would have had a lot more to do, better social life, and not be under each other feet all the time. Each day here just rolls into the next, then there is the crazy never ending heat to deal with. 

Guy, seems to me you need to get involved with something outside the house as well.  I know it is tougher to do in the village but maybe golf?  take up an instrument? fishing?  bowling? something.  anything to pursue outside home.

 

My saving grace is family with me out of Thailand for work so I am in office every day so we are not under foot every day.  But as I say, I'm gonna be happy and no one or thing is going to get in the way of that.  Maybe that contributes to her attitude, she can't rile me any longer.  I don't know but I see it as her problem.

[kingofthemountain]

34 minutes ago, Orton Rd said:

She's just had a go at me now, somebody just delivered something and I answered the door as she was asleep as usual, apparently I was rude to her 'guests' as she knew the kids in tow. Silly me should have invited them in for a nosh up. Not loving her family is a favorite along with forgetting to wai the one she calls her mother (she's adopted) Then there is a permanent list of faults including you have no friends (did have before) you cannot make baby (bit of luck there then) and the good old if you don't like Thailand go back home. She used to like to go out now just wants to stay in all the time and watch Korean soaps, eating and phone, that's about it. Not really as much fun as it used to be.

Nobody deserves to be mistreated like this imo

what you describe is just abuse from your thai gf or wife

you should seriously start to think to you and your well being first

and prepare your separation

Edited July 18, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[Somtamnication]

Take her to the temple, have her make merit. Could be something as simple as menopause or a big misunderstanding.

 

If all else fails, <deleted> is the 3rd. option. 

[fredwiggy]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

Nah, she'd have turned out the same, but owning your house and half your pension.

Not to mention 19 years child maintenance, and a 2 hours a week supervised child visit order.

Better off here.

House in most countries is community property, to be shared, unless you bought it before the marriage, which I did, and it was mine after. Pension goes half or the man gets the pension and the wife gets equal value of property and other assets. The kids are joint custody always, with them living primarily with one or the other.Child support to whoever has them, and visits aren't supervised unless abuse has been proven in court

[AshMart]

What do you expect? You think they married you for your good looks? Be real and face the real world. 

[pineapple01]

4 minutes ago, 86Tiger said:

Guy, seems to me you need to get involved with something outside the house as well.  I know it is tougher to do in the village but maybe golf?  take up an instrument? fishing?  bowling? something.  anything to pursue outside home.

 

My saving grace is family with me out of Thailand for work so I am in office every day so we are not under foot every day.  But as I say, I'm gonna be happy and no one or thing is going to get in the way of that.  Maybe that contributes to her attitude, she can't rile me any longer.  I don't know but I see it as her problem.

In an Office.? Thats a Womans Job.

[Bruno123]

1 hour ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Worse thing I ever did was have kids here, just tied myself up in knots now. 

 

I'm seriously unhappy, and yes know this isn't the place but it's better than nothing..

 

I know my issue reads my posts here, so she'll be reading this soon.

Same thing. Bad moods most of the time. Just an unhappy soul, always has been. Because of this issue, I absolutely refuse to reproduce with her. Which makes her even more mad. The last straw was insisting that we should have sex without a condom. That would put me in your position.

So I'm moving on...which makes her even more mad. She doesn't seem to get that I don't want to have to put up with volatility 28 days out of 30.

She's mad because I'm happy. She's mad because she cannot get what she wants. She mad at the world. She's just mad at everyone.

She seems to think that her happiness will arrive when she gets everything that she wants.

I know that is not the case. As they say, haters will hate. No need to waste your life with such 'toxic' people.

Your 'problem' is that you have children. Can't imagine that she will be cooperative. Mine isn't when she isn't getting her way. But I'm the captain of the ship and I'm not going to follow her moods.

Put children in the mix and can only imagine the regret.

[kingofthemountain]

36 minutes ago, JWRC said:

f I was in your position, I would be having a frank  discussion about what it's like to live like that how it makes you feel, and discuss how she feels, and then make your moves from there.

You simply cannot do that with a Thai

the only answers you could have to your questions is

a long silent or tears or an hysterical crisis with her yelling at you that everything

is right on her side and it's you who is wrong on everything and so on

(Maybe you can even have the complete sequence if you are lucky enough)

Edited July 18, 2020 by kingofthemountain

[ravip]

1 minute ago, kingofthemountain said:

You simply cannot do that with a Thai

the only answers you could have to your questions is

a long silent or tears or an hysterical crisis with her yelling at you that everything is right and it's you that is wrong and so on

(Maybe you can even have the complete sequence if you are lucky enough)

Never had a woman?

[Bruno123]

1 hour ago, Pilotman said:

1 hour ago, fredwiggy said:

Bipolar and since bipolar, narcissistic tendencies follow with the highs. Extreme mood swings, short fuse, sleeping a lot, no interest in things that used to make her happy. Blaming others for problems she creates. Thinking she's always right, rages, physical abuse, thinking  nothing ever will improve. Sometimes wants to be dead. Complaining about things that weren't a problem before. never satisfied no matter how many things are bought. Been there, am there somewhat again, had best friend kill himself from it, have relatives that have it, and Robin Williams is just one well known actor/comedian that died from it, although he had everything in life. It ruins most marriages, and until the person can admit they have a problem, everything is your fault. With medication (the right one), the serotonin levels will be more stable, and the moods will level out, without the extreme mood swings. Millions have it, and especially here, where life is generally boring. Nothing to do but sleep and work. Life is same same every day. Menopause usually starts between 45 and 55, so that probably isn't it, especially if this started earlier.

 

That sounds a perfect description of my problem. 

[kekalot]

I would leave, do your best regarding the kids but you shouldn't be in an unhappy relationship just because of kids, they pick up on that and you usually end up ruining their life and views of relationships too.

I got a vasectomy a few years ago cause my son is going on 20 years old and I didn't want to deal with this kind of stuff and more responsibilities.

 

I met a few girls who flat out won't date me if I tell them that I can't have kids but the fact is that even if I could, I wouldn't.

 

I always told myself one thing, if me or the girlfriend is not happy.. it's time for one of us to leave and I have no problem being the person to leave.

I would rather leave and have my girlfriend happy with someone else than unhappy with me.

[Odysseus123]

3 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

Maybe you can even have the complete sequence if you are lucky enough)

...and all in one hour.

[86Tiger]

3 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

You simply cannot do that with a Thai

the only answers you could have to your questions is

a long silent or tears or an hysterical crisis with her yelling at you that everything is right and it's you that is wrong and so on

(Maybe you can even have the complete sequence if you are lucky enough)

That is the truth.

 

My favorite is "I finit speak"

[KarenBravo]

18 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Same as I. Wanted to live back in the US, but she wanted to stay near family, who are disappearing every year to do their own thing. A thousand times better life, many more things to do. Better school system. Better doctors. Four seasons. Good outdoor hobbies. Here it's about the most boring place on earth, after maybe Antarctica, with the exception of the beaches, which for us are 8 hours away.

That's what happens when you hand your leash to a woman and don't know the Magic Word.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, Bruno123 said:

 

I know my issue reads my posts here, so she'll be reading this soon.

Same thing. Bad moods most of the time. Just an unhappy soul, always has been. Because of this issue, I absolutely refuse to reproduce with her. Which makes her even more mad. The last straw was insisting that we should have sex without a condom. That would put me in your position.

So I'm moving on...which makes her even more mad. She doesn't seem to get that I don't want to have to put up with volatility 28 days out of 30.

She's mad because I'm happy. She's mad because she cannot get what she wants. She mad at the world. She's just mad at everyone.

She seems to think that her happiness will arrive when she gets everything that she wants.

I know that is not the case. As they say, haters will hate. No need to waste your life with such 'toxic' people.

Your 'problem' is that you have children. Can't imagine that she will be cooperative. Mine isn't when she isn't getting her way. But I'm the captain of the ship and I'm not going to follow her moods.

Put children in the mix and can only imagine the regret.

That's narcissism at it's worse. Bipolar people tend to have narcissistic tendencies when they are on a high, but some are plain, taught by their parents, narcs who will blame you and everyone around them for their misery. Bipolar can be treated, narcissism is very hard to get under control because they think it's you, and not them.

[fredwiggy]

Just now, KarenBravo said:

That's what happens when you hand your leash to a woman and don't know the Magic Word.

I'm here because my daughter is here, and i love them both. I will not leave unless my daughter goes with me, and that will take time.

[Keyser Soze666]

8 minutes ago, Bruno123 said:

 

I know my issue reads my posts here, so she'll be reading this soon.

Same thing. Bad moods most of the time. Just an unhappy soul, always has been. Because of this issue, I absolutely refuse to reproduce with her. Which makes her even more mad. The last straw was insisting that we should have sex without a condom. That would put me in your position.

So I'm moving on...which makes her even more mad. She doesn't seem to get that I don't want to have to put up with volatility 28 days out of 30.

She's mad because I'm happy. She's mad because she cannot get what she wants. She mad at the world. She's just mad at everyone.

She seems to think that her happiness will arrive when she gets everything that she wants.

I know that is not the case. As they say, haters will hate. No need to waste your life with such 'toxic' people.

Your 'problem' is that you have children. Can't imagine that she will be cooperative. Mine isn't when she isn't getting her way. But I'm the captain of the ship and I'm not going to follow her moods.

Put children in the mix and can only imagine the regret.

Yes, good post friend. Maybe I am getting some better feedback than I thought I would.

 

Yep, I am <deleted> now with the kids, not gonna pretend I really don't know what to do. I think the only real short term thing I can do is just ignore her and don't give her any attention, they usually end up coming around then, until the next time at least!

[kingofthemountain]

40 minutes ago, 86Tiger said:

Guy, seems to me you need to get involved with something outside the house as well.  I know it is tougher to do in the village but maybe golf?  take up an instrument? fishing?  bowling? something.  anything to pursue outside home.

The life in the village is boring as hell

except if you are more than 80 years old and a contemplative

 

The living place is the girl choice, because it's her family, her birthplace

she has her friends, her occupations and so on

but come on, more of the foreign husband or bf are dying of boredom here

 

Of course most of them are in deny, because they have put a lot of money in the 

land, the house and everything, but if you are more than 5 hours\day on Thai visa

or if you have a blog on the ants' life or how to grow orchids, you are probably in this group 

Edited July 18, 2020 by kingofthemountain