Wife always getting angry and short tempered..

[onekoolguy]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

I was very good friends with a woman who was a psychiatric nurse specialising in 'women's problems'.

She told me, "I've never met a woman whose personality was ever better after menopause, the effects are rarely temporary, and most were a lot worse after no matter what medicine they took".

Unfortunately, that is so true!

[Paiman]

2 hours ago, kingofthemountain said:

You could also take a few holidays far from the house

alone of course. (I mean without her, you are not forced to stay alone in your room)

At the moment a lot of promotions on the hotels rooms in Pattaya

just sayin

 

I think this is a good idea. She takes the current status for granted and is bored of it all. 

 

If you go away for a few days, she might be able to look at her own situation from a different angle and appreciate it a bit more. If doing this, I would not even call or text her. Let her do the first move. And if she does, your decision if you answer or let her wait for another while. But you also need a plan for those days for yourself, doing something you enjoy. She has to get the impression you can also be happy when on your own.

 

I assume you already looked for helpful ideas on the internet.

[bwpage3]

Sounds like menopause.

[villageidiotY2K]

Get her ass into taibo! 

Those sweaty tight pants, oh Jesus I can smell the seafood... 

[Logosone]

Quote

 

Walks around most of the day with a long face, snaps if I ask her anything, shouts at the kids, hardly ever speaks. Occasionally in a good mood, but knowing it won't last long, etc etc.

 

How long is enough? She's not gonna change and will probably just get worse. She's 40 and yes kids involved.

 

I'm sick of it all, and yes before you say it she's probably sick of me too.

 

Money not a main problem, so let's not go there with that one.

 

Let the wisdom and abuse follow..

 

 

Keyser, I hear you. 

 

The good news. You've done nothing wrong. It is often the case that as women approach 40 they start to become cantankerous, selfish, argumentative, difficult, in short, bitter.

 

The most likely reason is that they can see their looks fading and no creams, no compliments, no clothes, no surgery, can hide the fact. It is a big shock for women who live and die by their looks, and of course even more of a shock for us men the innocent victims of this perfidious and underhand trick of nature.

 

Very regrettable children are involved. So the question boils down to, can you live with the old dear?

 

If you can and want to, you could stay. If you think you would be a lot happier with an 18, 25 or 30 year old woman, then the good news there are many available.

 

Get your finances in order if you are going to leave. And if a woman can not satisfy her man anymore, then that is probably the best option.

 

 

 

[rumak]

5 hours ago, Anythingleft? said:

I wish you the very best of luck trying to get an answer to a more than centuries old question about understanding women from this forum

 

You have seen most of the replies to even the most courteous and sensible questions on here, right?.......

Actually,  if you took a composite of the many many replies on this ( and some other subjects) you

would have some wise and experienced suggestions (many from me  lol).      But like anything,

its confusing as hell trying to know who to listen to.

Women,  Thailand,  Immigration,  Covid,  Diet,  Baht busses,  Life in Paradise,   Life in Hell.........

IT"S ALL HERE !   

[Kadilo]

8 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

That doesn't make a shred of difference at the end of the day. 10 minutes after it's just back to normal. If sex was the answer there would never be any break up's, divorces etc..

Try and stretch it to 15 and give her a treat. 

[Keyser Soze666]

2 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Try and stretch it to 15 and give her a treat. 

Do you really not understand what the word 'after' means??? Can you not read English

 

3 hours ago, Logosone said:

 

Keyser, I hear you. 

 

The good news. You've done nothing wrong. It is often the case that as women approach 40 they start to become cantankerous, selfish, argumentative, difficult, in short, bitter.

 

The most likely reason is that they can see their looks fading and no creams, no compliments, no clothes, no surgery, can hide the fact. It is a big shock for women who live and die by their looks, and of course even more of a shock for us men the innocent victims of this perfidious and underhand trick of nature.

 

Very regrettable children are involved. So the question boils down to, can you live with the old dear?

 

If you can and want to, you could stay. If you think you would be a lot happier with an 18, 25 or 30 year old woman, then the good news there are many available.

 

Get your finances in order if you are going to leave. And if a woman can not satisfy her man anymore, then that is probably the best option.

 

 

 

Great post appreciate it. She has put quite a bit of timber on which I know bothers her and is no doubt a reason why she has gone this way, and I can also feel some sympathy there too, but..

 

Not sure about an 18 year old though ????

[rumak]

6 hours ago, fredwiggy said:

I think this is why a lot of expats aren't happy here. There are millions of bipolar people in Thailand, and few get treatment because they've never been taught about this common disease. In America, most everyone understands what it's about, and a lot get treatment. Some can help themselves with regular exercise, a good diet ,sex, good sleep,  and hobbies, natural supplements like St. Johns Wort, fish oil, and meditation to help naturally, but medicine is needed for more extreme cases. In my case, it's, "I don't want to talk,no talk", because they see it as control,even if you're trying to help. They don\t understand it, and just want to be left alone.

well, actually the problem is easily solved.  I good kick in the butt usually is all thats needed

 

but NOOOOOO.    need to talk, understand,  take medicine,  get treatment from idiots out to make

a big buck,  etc etc .       Sorry Fred,  you're being duped

[rumak]

Just now, Keyser Soze666 said:

Do you really not understand what the word 'after' means??? Can you not read English

 

Great post appreciate it. She has put quite a bit of timber on which I know bothers her and is no doubt a reason why she has gone this way, and I can also feel some sympathy there too, but..

 

Not sure about an 18 year old though ????

Thai women, being that 90% seem to never get beyond the child stage,  become unhappy as

they get past the age of being "cute and catered to".    

Other women of the world are a bit more complex ...... but i think the reason for their gradual change

into b******s  is for somewhat the same reason.  (much as Loso has opined)

And MEN !  those that put up with it , as so many do,  well..... get what they deserve ?

yes, i know its hard to start over .   i have done it a few times

[Kadilo]

12 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Do you really not understand what the word 'after' means??? Can you not read English

 

Perfectly well thanks. If you’re as grumpy with her it’s no surprise she’s had enough. 

[CorpusChristie]

37 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

Try and stretch it to 15 and give her a treat. 

Inches or centimeters ?

(You are welcome to give this post a smile, rather than your usual confused emoji )

[Kadilo]

1 minute ago, CorpusChristie said:

Inches or centimeters ?

(You are welcome to give this post a smile, rather than your usual confused emoji )

I would if it was funny but fat chance of that. 

[Logosone]

39 minutes ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Great post appreciate it. She has put quite a bit of timber on which I know bothers her and is no doubt a reason why she has gone this way, and I can also feel some sympathy there too, but..

 

Not sure about an 18 year old though ????

 

Only you can decide, do you really want to put up with this. Or do you want to go through all the hard work and risk of trying with an 18, 25 or 30 year old. Yes, 18 seems young, up to you, but you know the bitterness, the difficulty, the cantankerous attitude, the selfishness it kicks in as they approach 40. The longer you have without those issues the better. Even 30 has me worried, because it's so close to 40. And we just know, we just know, the odds are as they turn 40 they become selfish, difficult and less eager to please. It's just in the nature of things.

 

And it's sad that women become so unattractive as they approach 40, and is a terrible cross we men have to bear as we struggle to find the right decision, do we stay by a deteriorating cantakerous, difficult and selfish 40 year old, who has her good sides, or do we try to find those really good times with a younger woman.

 

It's a difficult decision only you can make. Do you have the strength to find another and start again. Will you run the risk? It could fail. Can you live without your children there every day. All difficult decisions.

 

You didn't cheat. You did nothing wrong. You can decide freely. Whatever happens, it's not your fault and you'll die anyway.

[worgeordie]

I said to my wife,there's a man on ThaiVisa who is complaining about his wife

been angry and bad tempered............she said he wants to look at himself first,

and he does seem to be blaming her for everything,does he give her any help

around the house,with the kids,give her compliments,show her some love.

 

Maybe I am lucky....my wife only gets angry with me if i have not fixed something

I promised her I would, left a pan on the stove and burnt it,OR forgotten her Birthday.

so she has the right to be angry.

So good luck I hope you can sort things out,as life is always better with a good woman by your side.

regards worgeordie

 

[CorpusChristie]

13 minutes ago, Kadilo said:

I would if it was funny but fat chance of that. 

Shall we listen to a Smiths song ?

[Logosone]

2 minutes ago, worgeordie said:

I said to my wife,there's a man on ThaiVisa who is complaining about his wife

been angry and bad tempered............she said he wants to look at himself first,

and he does seem to be blaming her for everything,does he give her any help

around the house,with the kids,give her compliments,show her some love.

 

Maybe I am lucky....my wife only gets angry with me if i have not fixed something

I promised her I would, left a pan on the stove and burnt it,OR forgotten her Birthday.

so she has the right to be angry.

So good luck I hope you can sort things out,as life is always better with a good woman by your side.

regards worgeordie

 

That's a good point. If he cheated, if he did something that is somehow a cause for the behaviour he could fix it.

 

But from what we know he is not the cause. It is just the usual "maturing". God help him when the menopause kicks in.

[Kadilo]

7 minutes ago, CorpusChristie said:

Shall we listen to a Smiths song ?

Keep on topic. This is about Keyser no longer being the Chief. 
Personally, I’m predicting a riot. 

Edited July 18, 2020 by Kadilo

[CorpusChristie]

2 minutes ago, Logosone said:

That's a good point. If he cheated, if he did something that is somehow a cause for the behaviour he could fix it.

 

 

Seems to be quite a common occurrence on these forums , some guys proudly posting that they are unfaithful to their wife , happy ending massages and everything ,  short times .............then wonder why their wifes dont like em anymore 

[blackcab]

An off topic post has been removed.

[riclag]

10 hours ago, Pilotman said:

Menopause. Deal with it, it will go away eventually, and if you live long enough. Seriously, if that is the problem, HRT may be the answer. Get a hormone check for her and go from there. 

 I'm a guy what do I know about such things . I have heard of the HRT thing though .I liked to get a women's opinion on that! 

Edited July 18, 2020 by riclag

[Donutz]

I would do the following (be it a spouse, relative,  friend,  colleague or what not): give same space. Not much you can do if the other person is about to or has exploded. Walk away a bit, ignore them if you must. When they have cooled down get a talk going. Say what you feel without pointing any fingers (no accusations), 'I feel I... I think I....' . Let her talk, what does she feel etc

 Let her finish. Try to see if you can at least see each others point. A conversation without blame (you... And you...), trying to simply open up. If talking about feelings and desires etc  doesn't help and neither does giving each other some space.. then you may need to ask yourself out loud why you are in this relationship if it brings you and her no happiness.  If she still can't or won't find common ground and smooth things out, then it may be better to part ways. You may wish to talk with your kids though, what do they feel (If they are old enough to articulate such emotions). 

 

In short: conversation is key (so thar mutual respect and goals needs to be there or restored, if those remain absent...).

 

Best of luck. 

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, lust said:

Maybe you should sit down and ask her the same question? How the hell would any of us know what’s going on in your lives?

Same situation with me. However she would never discuss what was wrong, so couldn't be fixed.

 

My advice to the OP-

Hide as much money as you can. Dispose of any accounts and assets that she knows about. Prepare an alternative abode to hide in should it become necessary. Don't spend any money on anything you can't carry away. Decide what happens to the kids when it all goes wrong. Don't believe anything she says- my wife lied about everything, and bribery doesn't make any difference.

In my case I was fully committed and unable to do the above in time, but I did get her out of the bedroom I used and bolted my door while sleeping.

[thaibeachlovers]

18 minutes ago, Donutz said:

I would do the following (be it a spouse, relative,  friend,  colleague or what not): give same space. Not much you can do if the other person is about to or has exploded. Walk away a bit, ignore them if you must. When they have cooled down get a talk going. Say what you feel without pointing any fingers (no accusations), 'I feel I... I think I....' . Let her talk, what does she feel etc

 Let her finish. Try to see if you can at least see each others point. A conversation without blame (you... And you...), trying to simply open up. If talking about feelings and desires etc  doesn't help and neither does giving each other some space.. then you may need to ask yourself out loud why you are in this relationship if it brings you and her no happiness.  If she still can't or won't find common ground and smooth things out, then it may be better to part ways. You may wish to talk with your kids though, what do they feel (If they are old enough to articulate such emotions). 

 

In short: conversation is key (so thar mutual respect and goals needs to be there or restored, if those remain absent...).

 

Best of luck. 

My wife refused to talk about what ailed her, but where I went wrong was playing her game and getting angry too. I should have just left the house and gone away for a few hours or even days to allow her time to calm down.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, CorpusChristie said:

Seems to be quite a common occurrence on these forums , some guys proudly posting that they are unfaithful to their wife , happy ending massages and everything ,  short times .............then wonder why their wifes dont like em anymore 

Men generally don't stray as long as the one that should be giving the goodies is doing so. In my experience women decide they don't want sex enough to satisfy the significant other, but don't want him to get happy elsewhere either.

[thaibeachlovers]

4 hours ago, worgeordie said:

I said to my wife,there's a man on ThaiVisa who is complaining about his wife

been angry and bad tempered............she said he wants to look at himself first,

and he does seem to be blaming her for everything,does he give her any help

around the house,with the kids,give her compliments,show her some love.

 

Maybe I am lucky....my wife only gets angry with me if i have not fixed something

I promised her I would, left a pan on the stove and burnt it,OR forgotten her Birthday.

so she has the right to be angry.

So good luck I hope you can sort things out,as life is always better with a good woman by your side.

regards worgeordie

 

LOL.

I did the housework because she wouldn't, mostly made my own meals because she was working, always got reminded ahead of time when gifts were required, no kids involved, showed her all the love she deserved. She had a better life because she married me, but nothing made a difference. I didn't even play away though she wasn't coming to the party any more.

 

My wife got angry about anything, but that was probably because she was unhappy, though she never discussed it or tried to fix it. Every time I asked her to talk about it she was too tired or just didn't want to talk. Had plenty of time to play a game on her phone though.

[thaibeachlovers]

14 hours ago, Keyser Soze666 said:

Worse thing I ever did was have kids here, just tied myself up in knots now. 

Seriously, I wish more farangs would realise that before starting a second family in LOS. All it does is give them a permanent in to the the farang's money.

Not fair on the kids when it all goes wrong. What's the odds on a marriage succeeding anyway- 50% or less!

[1FinickyOne]

14 hours ago, Brunolem said:

There's an old muslim saying:

 

Beat your wife three times a day...if you don't know why, she does!

 

sure and that way at least you will know the reason she hates you

[1FinickyOne]

15 minutes ago, thaibeachlovers said:

What's the odds on a marriage succeeding anyway- 50% or less!

OMG! THat means there is a 50% chance I will have to stay with her?

[rumak]

8 hours ago, worgeordie said:

I said to my wife,there's a man on ThaiVisa who is complaining about his wife

been angry and bad tempered............she said he wants to look at himself first,

and he does seem to be blaming her for everything,does he give her any help

around the house,with the kids,give her compliments,show her some love.

Well,  we all (should) know how skilled these ladies are at turning the situation around to where

you are in the wrong .     Not saying that the man is always perfect,  but for generalizations...... i have

found that the "effort level" of the female slowly goes downhill.   Luckily i have a bus ticket waiting

for them about halfway before they reach the bottom   ????