how do you tell a thai girlfriend i don't want her 18 year son living with us

[samisaurus]

2 minutes ago, bert bloggs said:

my wifes brother did for a while ,i am sure he was not a boyfriend though ,he was only 12 .????

Lil 12 yr old got gaaaaame ahhaah 

[bkk6060]

32 minutes ago, robblok said:

I would not say much good about such a mother. 

Yes, but there are many many mothers in this situation here.

The mothers spend 95% of their time with their Falang BF or husbands and rarely see their kids they produced from Thai men.

One example is a US guy I know his wife has 4 kids.  They go back to the US twice a year for 3 months.

Then when they are here, they rarely if ever go to the girls home town. She sees her kids maybe a few weeks a year.  The guy just keeps paying money to support everyone.

 

The girls justify it in their minds that they are just supporting their families.  But, I agree they are bad mothers

not really knowing or spending time with their kids.

Seems all very sad.

 

[DualSportBiker]

This is the correct approach as it is understandable to your GF and her kid. It is non-confrontational which is how a Thai would handle it.

 

If the kid is studying still, you just need to pay the apartment. If not working, play the responsible father role and state your goal is to create a responsible and sensible adult. If the son is working, sweeten the pay-package with just enough to be persuasive.

 

Do not think that the solution is cost-free...

 

1 hour ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

You have to make him financially independent at first. So make him find a job. In front of your GF you can play it as "I'm being a father to him and caring for him/raising him right". First you will start encouraging him to find a job. He sleep all day and play games on telephone. So you will come with some consequences. Start cutting him off money/sources etc. If GF doesn't like it you can always play "being responsible father". Sooner or later his life will be so unbearable that he will find a job. It usually involves in living in different city (you see 90% of working thai traveling at friday/sunday home). So he will move out as a result of finding a job. Or he will find local job and once he is financially independent it is easy to kick him out. Again you can play responsible father card with helping find him a rent apartment "so he start his new adult life" and taking him for a furniture buying trips.

 

You can play it as ''kicking him out' and GF will make your life hell for hating her family. Or you can be responsible father figure raising her son and caring for her family who is trying to give him good start to his new life and it will be OK.

[kellyoinkoink]

In my opinion, you will be difficult to tell/teach him what to do or move out as others in this group say. because he is old and I’m not Sure he will obey you. You are. It his dad. Teenager is difficult to teach. Better find the girl without kid. Easier for you. Hehe. Hope you decide smartly.

[sammieuk1]

Give him up for adoption ????

[Coconut Kidd]

I would encourage him to join the military, or offer to pay for university, which isn’t too expensive in Thailand.

 

As others have indicated, 18 isn’t necessarily the ‘get out of the house’ age, I think 21 or 22 should be considered. Beyond 22 you run the risk of creating a mamas boy, someone who rolls over at the slightest bit of confrontation, or authority, which can lead to long term problems.

 

 

[pookondee]

12 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Today in another thread someone told my I should understand the irony.

With your comment I wonder if what you write is irony - or maybe not?

Without knowing your story, I can't know how you are relating irony to it.

 

In my case however, im serious.

 

I chose to leave Thailand because of the Covid.

But as it was, things weren't going great before then.

I could see myself getting groomed as the lone provider, for a lady and her young son, which means it will most likely be a long and endless money pit.

 

Thais dont really care about you going through all your life savings, as long as its spent on them.

Of course, they know very well that when your money runs out, you will be forced to go home and you will then be "out of their hair"

 

If you are older, financially set up, 

and have future cash streams incoming, then it might not be a big issue.

 

Me, i am 45, and retirement by Australian rules is a LONG way off.

 

Thinking about a good 20+ years of expenses..and then how much more $ to see me out??

 

Its a no-brainer that sinking funds into houses i can't own,

Thai womens offspring, which i shouldn't really be responsible for....

 

And in a country where you are forced to jump through hoops EVERY year, EVEN when your married!!!.....

well that's suddenly starting to sound real dumb since ive actually got out of the place.

 

So yes, Covid might have saved me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[AlfHuy]

I was 47 when my mom asked if I wouldn't consider, moving out. 

I just liked the Sunday roast to much and preferred to stay put (joke)

[samisaurus]

35 minutes ago, kellyoinkoink said:

In my opinion, you will be difficult to tell/teach him what to do or move out as others in this group say. because he is old and I’m not Sure he will obey you. You are. It his dad. Teenager is difficult to teach. Better find the girl without kid. Easier for you. Hehe. Hope you decide smartly.

I agree with this. Honestly he should leave his gf and get a vietnamese noble girl. None of this nonsense

[samisaurus]

Follow up to my previous video...
 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

24 minutes ago, pookondee said:

I could see myself getting groomed as the lone provider, for a lady and her young son, which means it will most likely be a long and endless money pit.

 

Thais dont really care about you going through all your life savings, as long as its spent on them.

Of course, they know very well that when your money runs out, you will be forced to go home and you will then be "out of their hair"

Sometimes I don't understand why some people start relations with specific other people.

When you met her how long did it take you to realize that part of the deal is that you pay?

And how long did it take you to find out there is also a son and you are expected to pay for him?

If you didn't want a gf or wife which you have to support and with family why did you start a relationship with here at all?

Personally I never had a gf with kids because I don't want to pay for kids. It's a simple choice.

 

And when you are committed in a relationship then I think your life savings should be part of the deal.

I am a long time together with my gf (no kids). If she would have i.e. an accident and she would need help for the rest of her life should I dump her because that is too expensive? I would take care of her.

[samisaurus]

31 minutes ago, pookondee said:

Without knowing your story, I can't know how you are relating irony to it.

 

In my case however, im serious.

 

I chose to leave Thailand because of the Covid.

But as it was, things weren't going great before then.

I could see myself getting groomed as the lone provider, for a lady and her young son, which means it will most likely be a long and endless money pit.

 

Thais dont really care about you going through all your life savings, as long as its spent on them.

Of course, they know very well that when your money runs out, you will be forced to go home and you will then be "out of their hair"

 

If you are older, financially set up, 

and have future cash streams incoming, then it might not be a big issue.

 

Me, i am 45, and retirement by Australian rules is a LONG way off.

 

Thinking about a good 20+ years of expenses..and then how much more $ to see me out??

 

Its a no-brainer that sinking funds into houses i can't own,

Thai womens offspring, which i shouldn't really be responsible for....

 

And in a country where you are forced to jump through hoops EVERY year, EVEN when your married!!!.....

well that's suddenly starting to sound real dumb since ive actually got out of the place.

 

So yes, Covid might have saved me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dodged a bullet mate.... you're free now, to do whatever U want, go wherever U want, all hassle free 

[ChipButty]

39 minutes ago, AlfHuy said:

I was 47 when my mom asked if I wouldn't consider, moving out. 

I just liked the Sunday roast to much and preferred to stay put (joke)

Where else could you live for a fiver a week?

[Henryford]

Get a ladyboy girlfriend next time, problem sorted.

[Don Mega]

13 minutes ago, Henryford said:

Get a ladyboy girlfriend next time, problem sorted.

What if old matey had a child before he got some bolt on's and got into mud tunneling ?

[Aussiepeter]

Really liked your answer pookondee - and yes, you did dodge a bullet mate. In my case though, I hooked a 28 y.o. some twenty years back and we left LOS permanently about 7 years ago to live in Oz and, have never looked back. We have a 10 yo daughter we both adore, which was why we left. My wife had already been to OZ five times with me and knew that Oz, with all its' warts, shat all over LOS in terms of clean air, road safety, honest police, safe food and opportunity for well-paid work. Single in my late forties, I did initially try dating single mums in SE Asia, but all came with either lazy unemployed young brothers and/or older kids and all expected the farang to be a 'free ride' for ever. I just got lucky one day, mainly because I could speak all three dialects of Thai quite well. For the OP, it really depends on your situation. If the son is working and you adore the lady, then you have to accept it as long as he pays his way, or just go. If however he is just another young male Thai 'bludger', well I am sure you can see where this is headed and you just needed some reassurance. Good luck, either way.

 

[anterian]

If he is 18 years old buy him a motorbike a litre of whisky and let Darwin solve the problem.

[kingdong]

3 hours ago, Curt1591 said:

A son is a commitment.

A "boyfriend" is not. 

 

bloods thicker than water.

[soi3eddie]

4 hours ago, JeffersLos said:

I don't want your 18 year old son living with us. 

Google translate?

[soi3eddie]

4 hours ago, ukrules said:

Encourage him to join the army.

Only 2 more years and he may be conscripted anyway

[soi3eddie]

3 hours ago, pineapple01 said:

he goes or i go.

Former won't work. Pack your bags and walk. 

[soi3eddie]

3 hours ago, rvaviator said:

Everyone have different opinions ... What can you say about a mother who would dump her son in favor of a 'boyfriend' ..... ??

Money talks. Is the son paying his way?

Edited July 29, 2020 by soi3eddie

[soi3eddie]

2 hours ago, pookondee said:

Without knowing your story, I can't know how you are relating irony to it.

 

In my case however, im serious.

 

I chose to leave Thailand because of the Covid.

But as it was, things weren't going great before then.

I could see myself getting groomed as the lone provider, for a lady and her young son, which means it will most likely be a long and endless money pit.

 

Thais dont really care about you going through all your life savings, as long as its spent on them.

Of course, they know very well that when your money runs out, you will be forced to go home and you will then be "out of their hair"

 

If you are older, financially set up, 

and have future cash streams incoming, then it might not be a big issue.

 

Me, i am 45, and retirement by Australian rules is a LONG way off.

 

Thinking about a good 20+ years of expenses..and then how much more $ to see me out??

 

Its a no-brainer that sinking funds into houses i can't own,

Thai womens offspring, which i shouldn't really be responsible for....

 

And in a country where you are forced to jump through hoops EVERY year, EVEN when your married!!!.....

well that's suddenly starting to sound real dumb since ive actually got out of the place.

 

So yes, Covid might have saved me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lucky escape and valuable lesson. Come back when you can and enjoy the wisdom of your past. If one has the money and doesn't mind being controlled or manipulated by women then fine. MGTOW is the future IMO.

 

[Heppinger]

5 minutes ago, soi3eddie said:

Lucky escape and valuable lesson. Come back when you can and enjoy the wisdom of your past. If one has the money and doesn't mind being controlled or manipulated by women then fine. MGTOW is the future IMO.

 

Yes, white MGTOW is the plan.

[soi3eddie]

2 hours ago, samisaurus said:

I agree with this. Honestly he should leave his gf and get a vietnamese noble girl. None of this nonsense

Not sure about "Vietnamese Noble Girl" but a former Thai GF of mine for 3 years was 50% Vietnamese (father refugee), 25% Chinese and 25% Thai (mother half Thai/Half Chinese). Exotic for sure. Problem was that I was paying for her and her 2 sons (9/11yrs) with schooling was making me broke. When she asked for a raise in "allowance" to 50,000 Thai Baht/Month that was the end.

[johnray]

Asian's don't throw away family like Americans/Brits do.  The family unit stays close.  You care for kids, your neighbors kids because the Dad's in prison, the girlfriend's cousin's underage pregnancy kids, the drug addict brother and a bunch of old people.

 

It's actually a disgusting thing to even mention throwing out the 18-year-old.

 

Most Thai houses I've seen have 6 generations living in them.  From the old people to newborn kids from a 14 year old.

[soi3eddie]

1 minute ago, johnray said:

Asian's don't throw away family like Americans/Brits do.  The family unit stays close.  You care for kids, your neighbors kids because the Dad's in prison, the girlfriend's cousin's underage pregnancy kids, the drug addict brother and a bunch of old people.

 

It's actually a disgusting thing to even mention throwing out the 18-year-old.

 

Most Thai houses I've seen have 6 generations living in them.  From the old people to newborn kids from a 14 year old.

6 generations would span at least 90 year years surely at the very, very extreme. My ex's family was 4 generations in the house but "most Thai houses I've seen have 6 generations" is certainly unlikely these days. Many female family and friends I know are now leaving starting family until after college, marriage and then have their tubes tied after just 2 kids! No more 10 sibling families.

[samisaurus]

1 hour ago, soi3eddie said:

Not sure about "Vietnamese Noble Girl" but a former Thai GF of mine for 3 years was 50% Vietnamese (father refugee), 25% Chinese and 25% Thai (mother half Thai/Half Chinese). Exotic for sure. Problem was that I was paying for her and her 2 sons (9/11yrs) with schooling was making me broke. When she asked for a raise in "allowance" to 50,000 Thai Baht/Month that was the end.

MGTOW is the way, or the red pill at the least

[kellyoinkoink]

7 minutes ago, samisaurus said:

MGTOW is the way, or the red pill at the least

You so xaoooooo ????

[blackcab]

I'm going to move this topic to the Farang Pub forum.

 

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