A friend's relative just died and she said the cost of the funeral will be 150,000+ baht. Is this correct? This sounds like an enormous amount of money in Thailand.

A lot depends on the wat, how many monks she wants chanting over how many days, how much food she wants to offer, how much alcohol and what kind she is offering. how many people will be attending, what kind of give aways she will offer at the cremation?

 

It is sort of open ended.

OzMan 150.000 is not a lot of money for a funeral here.

Recently a Thai friends sister died, it cost the family almost 400.000 baht.

It went on for 6 days, 9 monks each day, feeding dozens of people everyday.

As said they can become very expensive if extended beyond 3 days.  You were not asked to pay I hope.  Normally a good deal is recovered in donations made by those attending so one family member will fund and in return take the donations.  

I've worked out mine should cost about 5000 baht

12 bottles of rum poured down my throat 4800 baht

200 baht for a lighter and some marsh mellows

A note of warning don't get too close when lighting  ????

Yeah...the whole concept of making merit comes into play too. The monks get a sizeable portion of the cash when all is said and done. The more money and extravagance is displayed at a funeral, the more merit you are making for the deceased to gain a higher level in the afterlife.

i told my missus , if she does all this drinking, eating and lots of monks <deleted>, i will come back and haunt here

Seen lots of these stupid merit making , with lots of people just turning up to get free food and get <deleted> for days on end

Waste of money, which could be better spent on other things

Just want simple family get together for a few hours, then light the torch, no monks, no chanting, nothing .

Would even avoid the money grabbing lazy monks if it was possible 

She may be hinting she wants me to contribute, my gf.

Is there a minimum fixed amount to the public service ?

 

It could be interested to see a calculation for a farrang funeral, who dont want monks and a week of drinking and eating.

 

In my case, I just wish a simple funeral with people I love and know well. I am a non believer so do not need any monks or preast or other things like this. Just BBQ and a bottle of ashes to be spread over the place I love.

 

I wonder what could be the cost of that, would like to make a saving to that.

 

It's a lot about face,some people get into a lot of debt over

a funeral, I don't understand that ,your dead,and you leave

your loved ones in debt,I am sure they won't forget you ????

 

regards worgeordie

6 minutes ago, OzMan said:

She may be hinting she wants me to contribute, my gf.

You need to learn 3 words in Thai.......... Mai mee tang.????

Translation, i have no money.

 

My wife has been told, when im dead, throw me on the pickup, take me to the temple, say to the monks,here burn the old bar steward.

 

10 minutes ago, OzMan said:

She may be hinting she wants me to contribute, my gf.

It's customary to contribute a bit for family or relatives of close friends. You should not contribute more than 2000 to 3000 baht. That is pretty standard for a good contribution. In fact, at the 2000 baht level (Issan funeral) I was given some kind of ceremonial cloth that only went to that level or higher (it's still in a bag under the sink).

1 hour ago, OzMan said:

the cost of the funeral will be 150,000+ baht.

 

Not unusual at all and possibly not on the extravagant side.

 

Funeral costs are normally shared. People (who attend) normally give money towards the cost. 1,000-2,000 THB is probably fine for a friend's relative.

 

It's reciprocal. You should definitely give, if these friends attended (and gave money at) a wedding or funeral on your family's side.

48 minutes ago, finnsk said:

Is there a minimum fixed amount to the public service ?

 

It could be interested to see a calculation for a farrang funeral, who dont want monks and a week of drinking and eating.

 

In my case, I just wish a simple funeral with people I love and know well. I am a non believer so do not need any monks or preast or other things like this. Just BBQ and a bottle of ashes to be spread over the place I love.

 

I wonder what could be the cost of that, would like to make a saving to that.

 

Up country funerals are generally much cheaper than city funerals.

14 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Up country funerals are generally much cheaper than city funerals.

Yes and no.  There is normally a lot of card playing and whisky drinking upcountry as it is normal for police to look the other way at these times.  And upcountry the normal donations will likely be a lot less - so net out of pocket may not be that much different.  Funerals cost - in USA the average runs 210.000-360,000 baht (even if just cremation it runs about 200,000 baht).

2 hours ago, tonray said:

It's customary to contribute a bit for family or relatives of close friends. You should not contribute more than 2000 to 3000 baht. That is pretty standard for a good contribution. In fact, at the 2000 baht level (Issan funeral) I was given some kind of ceremonial cloth that only went to that level or higher (it's still in a bag under the sink).

 

i have actually given more than that for cases where I was really close to the family. But never more than 5,000 - 10,000 max even for Bangkok funeral.

 

As others have noted, the cost depends entirely on how elaborate the family wants to make it (she may be wanting you to enable them to have something otherwise above their means) and much of the cost is recouped from donations made by those who attend, similiar in that respect to weddings here.

After reading responses, I will give 5,000. The family are well off and he was my gf's cousin. I did not know him well, but my gf saw him at work. I was not going to give anything.

5 hours ago, OzMan said:

A friend's relative just died and she said the cost of the funeral will be 150,000+ baht. Is this correct? This sounds like an enormous amount of money in Thailand.

yes it's an enormous amount of money

for a random thai the cost is around 10 000\20 000 bahts

anyway as long as you are not asked to pay it's not really a concern for you

5 hours ago, OzMan said:

She may be hinting she wants me to contribute, my gf.

If she wants you contribute, first i recomand you to be really sure about the death

it's one of the most used ''excuse'' in Thailand to milk money from a western boyfriend

then when you are sure about the reality of the situation, feel free to send 5000 to

10 000 baths (It depends on your possibilities) you should then be one of the biggest contributors to the party

Edit i just seen your post above, so it's a real death

the 5000 you send seems to be more than good 

in fact you had no link with the deceased so you don't have any

money to give but i assume your girlfriend doesn't earn her own money

so does make sense you send money to her, then she can gives something

for the ceremony

12 minutes ago, OzMan said:

After reading responses, I will give 5,000. The family are well off and he was my gf's cousin. I did not know him well, but my gf saw him at work. I was not going to give anything.

I would discuss with GF first.  My wife would not be giving more than 1,500 for a Bangkok cousin and less upcountry as you also do not want to shame others that can not afford more.  But your mention of well off might indicate more expected.

5 hours ago, lopburi3 said:

Yes and no.  There is normally a lot of card playing and whisky drinking upcountry as it is normal for police to look the other way at these times.  And upcountry the normal donations will likely be a lot less - so net out of pocket may not be that much different.  Funerals cost - in USA the average runs 210.000-360,000 baht (even if just cremation it runs about 200,000 baht).

Strangely enough the Pu Yai Ban has organised a sort of insurance so that when someone in the villages dies, all of us in the scheme pay, I think, 150 baht each into the pot to help with expenses. My wife and son pay 150 baht each and as I have been accepted into the group I pay 250 baht. I think that I am the only farang that has been accepted, probably as I am the only full time farang in a 5 km radius.

 

This is nothing to do with any of the funeral rites where family and friends chip in what they can afford. It is more of a bonus really.

26 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Strangely enough the Pu Yai Ban has organised a sort of insurance so that when someone in the villages dies, all of us in the scheme pay, I think, 150 baht each into the pot to help with expenses. My wife and son pay 150 baht each and as I have been accepted into the group I pay 250 baht. I think that I am the only farang that has been accepted, probably as I am the only full time farang in a 5 km radius.

 

This is nothing to do with any of the funeral rites where family and friends chip in what they can afford. It is more of a bonus really.

This system is used in a lot of villages

in this way even the poors can have some decent ceremony

however i don't know how many people are in your village, but 150 bahts

is a lot of money, it was 20 bahts each in the small village where i was during 5 years.

Plus i don't see any reason for you to pay 250 bahts

if you really was accepted, there is no any reason to have a double tarif for you

i can't understand why your Thai wife has accepted that, it's just abusive

29 minutes ago, kingofthemountain said:

This system is used in a lot of villages

in this way even the poors can have some decent ceremony

however i don't know how many people are in your village, but 150 bahts

is a lot of money, it was 20 bahts each in the small village where i was during 5 years.

Plus i don't see any reason for you to pay 250 bahts

if you really was accepted, there is no any reason to have a double tarif for you

i can't understand why your Thai wife has accepted that, it's just abusive

If you look at it from "glass is half-full" side, it's a good co-op system to cover the cost associated with death/funeral.

 

My friend lost 3 brothers to cancer in last 20 years I've known her.  Each funeral, she and the family keep a record of who gave how much for the funeral so the generosity can be reciprocated later on.  Generally, higher social status people (e.g. boss or rich person) seems to contribute more.

1 hour ago, kingofthemountain said:

This system is used in a lot of villages

in this way even the poors can have some decent ceremony

however i don't know how many people are in your village, but 150 bahts

is a lot of money, it was 20 bahts each in the small village where i was during 5 years.

Plus i don't see any reason for you to pay 250 bahts

if you really was accepted, there is no any reason to have a double tarif for you

i can't understand why your Thai wife has accepted that, it's just abusive

Actually I think that 250 baht is a reasonable price considering that I am 76 and they may be having a whip round for me in the next few years. The village that we live in is one road long and there are only a few other villages that branch off it.

 

The extra that I paymight make up for some poor villager who doesn't have that much.

 

The oldest guy I knew here died a few months ago a couple of months past his 100th birthday.

 

One of the villages is a Muser Christian village and I am not sure if they are in the scheme or not.

54 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Actually I think that 250 baht is a reasonable price considering that I am 76 and they may be having a whip round for me in the next few years. The village that we live in is one road long and there are only a few other villages that branch off it.

 

The extra that I paymight make up for some poor villager who doesn't have that much.

As i said there is no any reason for you to pay a different price from the others, except if they are used to milking you at every occasion they have.

And i don't see any valid reason for your wife to accept it except one

(See at the end of my post)

 

It's a communitary system based on the fact that everyone  rich or poor, young or old, pay the same and the amount is low to be sure everybody can pay it with no problem including the poorest in the village. 

 

It's why i was surprised for your 150 bahts\each

for a family of 4, usual in the villages, it's 600 bahts, an enormous amount of money for most of the Thais in a rural area. A thai laborer in the field earn 300 bath\day

600 bahts is 2 days of work. 8 hours of each day, when there is work.

 

The ''normal'' amount asked by the puyaban for this scheme is usually around 20\50bahts\each, it sounds like  someone as just added ''100'' of fee to the collect for you and your son, plus 150 for you, it's a 350 baths ''tax''

 

Do you pay yourself to the collector or you give the money to your Thai wife and she

does the payement? Have you seen the book where all the names are noted beside with

the amount of money? Or you prefer not to bother with it?

It's all about how big the party will be

1 hour ago, HidyHo said:

If you look at it from "glass is half-full" side, it's a good co-op system to cover the cost associated with death/funeral.

 

My friend lost 3 brothers to cancer in last 20 years I've known her.  Each funeral, she and the family keep a record of who gave how much for the funeral so the generosity can be reciprocated later on.  Generally, higher social status people (e.g. boss or rich person) seems to contribute more.

Yes i totally agree it's a very good and clever system.

 

Like you i have noticed the same thing happens, for every event (Funeral, marriage, new house) the receiver note the names of the donators and the amount of money donated, then they can give the

same amount when they are invited later at a party by the donator. 

 

They don't have to think how much to give, and the money go and back with no winners and no losers

 

it's all to keep good relations and harmony in the community

 

 

Taking the question in a slightly different direction, if I shuffle off this mortal coil in BKK, how much is it going to cost to have me cremated and put in a small wooden box in case my family wants my ashes sent to the USA?  No party.  No monks.  No shipping and handling.  Just the minimum...

 

1 hour ago, impulse said:

Taking the question in a slightly different direction, if I shuffle off this mortal coil in BKK, how much is it going to cost to have me cremated and put in a small wooden box in case my family wants my ashes sent to the USA?  No party.  No monks.  No shipping and handling.  Just the minimum...

 

3000 to 5000 bahts for the most basic service in Bangkok

your embassy need to be involved too

i have no idea how much they charge for the service

https://th.usembassy.gov/u-s-citizen-services/death-of-a-u-s-citizen/

 

A friend's father was just cremated in BKK. 3 days of merit. Small amounts of food, no liquor. Four monks each day for some a short period of time (I believe approximately one hour each day). A reasonable display of flowers. Then cremation and disposal. Total cost was approximately 30,000 THB. This was a lower-middle-class family, so not able to justify any extravagance.