Living the life as an expat in Thailand

By Thai PBS

 

 

For expats in Thailand, paradise can be full of pitfalls  

 

Life in Thailand is a daily adventure for most expats, an obstacle course of delicious but fiery cuisine, locals’ laidback mai pen rai (never mind) attitude, and a language that can easily have you saying something very rude, very unintentionally. 

 

In the words of one long-time expat: “They should tell young people when they get off the boat: Learn the language! The guidebooks usually say it’s a ‘good idea’. It isn’t. It should be seen as essential.”

 

Apart from lifting the communication barrier, fluency in the Thai language comes with other benefits too, such as long-lasting friendships, tight connections and a true understanding of the arai ko dai (anything goes) mindset at the heart of Thai culture.

 

In general, living is easy in Thailand, provided you learn to relax and forget about confrontations.

 

“The Thai approach is almost opposite to the American approach [to work, communication and problem-solving], so it can be a very mind-opening experience if one is aware and open to developing that awareness,” advises US-born Tamara Wyachai, principal of a leading Bangkok school’s international programme.

 

Full story: https://www.thaipbsworld.com/living-the-life-as-an-expat-in-thailand/

 

-- © Copyright Thai PBS 2020-11-04

 

- Whatever you're going through, the Samaritans are here for you

- Follow Thaivisa on LINE for breaking COVID-19 updates

The novelty eventually wears off! The first 20 years is good but it goes downhill from there! ????

6 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

The novelty eventually wears off! The first 20 years is good but it goes downhill from there! ????

Brilliant....got another 19 to go....rock on.

23 minutes ago, webfact said:

“The Thai approach is almost opposite to the American approach [to work, communication and problem-solving], so it can be a very mind-opening experience

I find it mind numbing.

16 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

The novelty eventually wears off! The first 20 years is good but it goes downhill from there! 

5 down 15 to go, if I make it.

17 minutes ago, PatOngo said:

The novelty eventually wears off! The first 20 years is good but it goes downhill from there! ????

20 years+ 

You will be fluent by now. 
Right?

2 minutes ago, Natai Beach said:

20 years+ 

You will be fluent by now. 
Right?

I am not really a people person so not having a good command of the language I see as a plus.  if I want something at the hardware store or the cooks supply shop or the auto parts shop I can take a pix.  They all seem to know how to say "No Hab" when they don't have it.

3 minutes ago, webfact said:

“They should tell young people when they get off the boat: Learn the language!

Yes, if you're gonna move somewhere, learn the basics at least. 

 

In saying that, you can learn the language but you need to understand the culture too. I remember I'd see my missus speaking to a security guard or shop worker, etc, and she'd seem disinterested and often come across as a bit terse.  My crazily curious mind would be intrigued as to what the person she was talking to was saying. She'd often tell me it wasn't important or they weren't making any sense. As I learnt the language, I found that out first hand for myself. Basically, small talk here is on another level. 

 

My last experience was with the new lady who works at the condo laundry. I gave her my shirts and asked her when they'd be done by. She apologised in perfect Thai telling me her Thai wasn't very good as she's from Burma. She told me she'd just moved to Bangkok and was living with her sister and brother-in-law, yada, yada, yada. I smiled politely and nodded while she continued and I finally got my answer. Later on I found out that she is Thai (I had that impression anyway) but she'd lived near the border with Burma. 

 

So, if like me, you're not a fan of small talk in any language, you learn to play down your ability in certain situations. Oh, and don't be a show off with your language skills. I have a friend who does that and it seems to annoy many locals. 

 

 

 

 

39 minutes ago, webfact said:

The Thai approach is almost opposite to the American approach [to work, communication and problem-solving], so it can be a very mind-opening experience if one is aware and open to developing that awareness

Personally, I aim for acceptance (which doesn't mean having to agree or like some of what goes on). In addition, adapting to the Thai approach can be tricky at times. It's also nice when Thais demonstrate some flexibility when dealing with me when I play "the wildcard" every so often through venting a bit. Learning to effectively and appropriately develop intercultural competence is a lifelong process.

Terrible advice. I refuse to learn a language which consists of a tonal collection of grunts, squeals and squeaks.

The Thai language sounds like a gaggle of donkeys on amphetamines. Thailand's time as a cheap retirement paradise for expats, has run its course. After five miserable years here, I am setting my sights on the Philippines.they, at least, speak HUMAN English. I am not at all charmed by Thailand anymore.

I got the 7-year itch, so I pulled up stakes and moved to Mexico. I was back in 6 weeks with a newfound appreciation and haven't felt I made the wrong choice since. Is Thailand perfect? Damned near for me!

59 minutes ago, webfact said:

In general, living is easy in Thailand, provided you learn to relax and forget about confrontations.

Yes, in between the visits at immigration. Where you're reminded that you're only a visitor here and could be kicked out any moment. 

10 minutes ago, J Town said:

I got the 7-year itch, so I pulled up stakes and moved to Mexico. I was back in 6 weeks with a newfound appreciation and haven't felt I made the wrong choice since. Is Thailand perfect? Damned near for me!

Jayzus!!   Mexico is a bridge too far when you've lived in Asia for any length of time. I once considered Mexico and some other Latin countries as retirement destinations, but price point aside, I don't think they would have been a good fit.

18 minutes ago, KhunFred said:

<snip>

After five miserable years here, I am setting my sights on the Philippines. They, at least, speak HUMAN English. I am not at all charmed by Thailand anymore.

 

I highly suggest you don't burn this bridge. The majority of expats who grew weary of Thailand's quirks then moved to the P.I. lamented that decision. Do a search on that very topic here on TV.

Still living the dream after 13 years.....

 

 

1 minute ago, J Town said:

 

I highly suggest you don't burn this bridge. The majority of expats who grew weary of Thailand's quirks then moved to the P.I. lamented that decision. Do a search on that very topic here on TV.

I have done all the research humanly possible. Just the elimination of the language barrier and the antagonistic attitude of Immigration, are reasons enough to depart for greener pastures. Thailand is obsessed with fouling its own nest and abusing the expats which provide jobs for a huge segment of the population. They can't really help themselves. They are convinced that they are Asia's "Master Race", and they will never change.

The novelty eventually wears off! The first 20 years is good but it goes downhill from there! ????

How long does this process take in ones own country? ????

43 minutes ago, J Town said:

I got the 7-year itch, so I pulled up stakes and moved to Mexico. I was back in 6 weeks with a newfound appreciation and haven't felt I made the wrong choice since. Is Thailand perfect? Damned near for me!

mexican ho's eh.

My wife does the talking. I smile, wai and go "Khap khap khap" - like a duck especially when I see she is getting through. Many of middle aged people and youngsters can converse some broken English. Some actually like it as they achieve to communicate in English with a foreigner.

As an introvert I'd like to be left alone to do my thing. I will never be seen as "one of the people" because I am not, just a harmless, common and poor foreigner. And that's just how I like it.

 

 

1 hour ago, Grumpy John said:

I am not really a people person so not having a good command of the language I see as a plus.  if I want something at the hardware store or the cooks supply shop or the auto parts shop I can take a pix.  They all seem to know how to say "No Hab" when they don't have it.

If you can not be bothered speaking their language you will often receive a “no have” when they do have, because they can’t be bothered serving you and or they don’t have a clue what they are talking about. I have seen it many times. 

You are also much more likely to get the thai price. 

You are also more likely to make genuine friends, that will really help you. Local male friends are the best to have, they know the best places etc.. You don’t want to be a Scotty no mates in a foreign country.
 

You will be treated with more respect if you learn to speak very politely. Grunting, pulling faces and using hand actions will result in Thais thinking you are a simpleton. Speaking politely “forces” them to respond politely and give better service. 
 

The biggest plus is you are independent and not reliant on your wife/ girlfriend who may be unreasonable during certain times of the month. And you won’t annoy her like a two year old to complete simple tasks.  
 

Being able to read shop signs, menus etc etc also makes life easier, for you and for the locals you come in contact with. Good when you are driving, not having to stop and ask for directions or where something is. 
 

Life will be easier, you will be less confused, will cause less confusion and you won’t complain as much.
 

1 hour ago, J Town said:

I got the 7-year itch, so I pulled up stakes and moved to Mexico. I was back in 6 weeks with a newfound appreciation and haven't felt I made the wrong choice since. Is Thailand perfect? Damned near for me!

Left Mexico 10 years ago, after 10 years there for Thailand. 

2 hours ago, Natai Beach said:

20 years+ 

You will be fluent by now. 
Right?

 

Pretty well!

2 hours ago, Surelynot said:

Brilliant....got another 19 to go....rock on.

Let me know how the first 20 go! 

3 hours ago, Grumpy John said:

I am not really a people person so not having a good command of the language I see as a plus.  if I want something at the hardware store or the cooks supply shop or the auto parts shop I can take a pix.  They all seem to know how to say "No Hab" when they don't have it.

And quite often when the do have it but cant be bothered to look. 

I moved to Thailand in 2002, then from about 2013, I spent more time in Burma and Laos.  Yonks ago I studied Thai at Chula, so my spoken/written skills are quite good.  Both of my ex-wives came from Issan, so when I made a permanent move to live in Laos, I had no problems making myself understood!  I'm currently improving my written/reading of Lao language.

I would disagree with the post. I decided very early on not to learn Thai when I started teaching. I saw many westerners who were supposed to be teaching English spending more class time learning thai from the students. With my own children I only spoke English and my wife would talk Thai to them this resulted in them integrating into school easy in the UK. I also found my thai friends wanted to speak and practice their english with me. What I would say is Thailand is a beautiful paradise when under civilian rule however having lived through 2 coups and witnessing first hand the changes in attitude and treatment of foreigners it's so sad and was the reason we left in 2019. When you start getting old you need security and not having worries about the next crazy immigration change which could find yourself kicked out losing everything and building your life again in another more welcoming country, Home. 

year 1 - 2  :  WOW, women/ladyboys/whatever......I can get!!!

year 3 - 4:  OK, I'll never be fluent but I can survive, easily.  why would I want to be fluent to talk to someone at 711?  No real business person is going to hang out with me.  I know only salespeople and bar girls. 

year 5-10:  OK, I don't care if I have good friends and the 100 girlfriends I've had is fine because they are 30 and I'm 99.  can't do that back home!!

year 11 - 20:  you know, I actually forget what my home country was like.  WOW, it's hot here, and loud.  and no longer that cheap and nobody cares if I die or live, as long as I go to immigration every second.  and people only care about my money, and women my age are crazy, and I really, really talk to lots of people every day and I don't think I know them at all.  but people leave me alone, and I can always go to walking street in Pattaya (maybe not now) and bring a clean 1000 baht bill!!!!  

 

it's a must try......but if you don't like it, you really, really have to leave.  or you will go crazy.  

 

i've been here a few years....and will go home and sell a few houses next year back home.  Thailand is a break from reality.  no worries.  it's an escape.  that's fine.  but it will mean you will never reach your potential if you are still young enough to be productive.  but who cares?  i care.  

 

have fun, date but don't marry, and then move on..... my one cent

Guess I must have been here for around 12 years now and lived for over 20 years in SEA.

Looking back, I would say living here has made me anti-social.

Both my wife and I prefer to be alone, so we have kind of create our own little world and simple everyday life. 

 

I think, the only thing I would really miss by moving is the weather. I really enjoy the fact that we can spend most of our day outside. I can’t even remember the last time I wore socks and shoes.

 

I know very basic Thai and have no ambition to learn more. I know many who have spent a lot of time getting integrated. Good for them! I honestly could care less. 

 

Money is in the end what makes most Expats survive and being able to stay here.

7 minutes ago, khunpa said:

Looking back, I would say living here has made me anti-social.

Probably more a case of aging. As we get older we tend to be more 'anti social'. We have learnt what good friends are. We have a few and that is all that we need.

5 hours ago, Surelynot said:

Brilliant....got another 19 to go....rock on.

Naaah. After all this time learning Thai, now we have to learn Chinese for the coming takeover!!!????????????????????????????????