Throwing caution to the wind and b u g g e r the diet – How about you .

[BigStar]

On 3/6/2021 at 12:15 AM, Bill Poster said:

In the last few months two good friends have passed away , both were in their early 70’s and both were what I would call fanatical good health people who made every effort to stay healthy and active. Both those friends died because of heart compilations . Both those friends followed strict diets that would in their minds keep them healthy for many years to come.  On our past regular meet ups for lunch or dinner both those now dead friends seem to delight in pointing out my mistake in my choice of food and drink , They would sit there nibbling away at their tuna salad while sipping a glass of iced water . Here was me tucking into a plate of fried chicken with a side order of chips along with a large strawberry milkshake .

What with the creative embellishments, sounds like total BS. Hardly necessary to make your timeworn excuse for being fat and out of shape. Same excuse as used by smokers and alcoholics. As probably 95% of posters here are in the same shape as you are, of course you'll find a sympathetic chorus to sing along with you. 

 

On the other hand, I can tell you of friends who passed away in their 50s, 60s, and early 70s after years of pain and hobbling around, chasing doctors, gobbling pills, surgeries, and even undergoing amputations owing to diabetes. Didn't look so happy to me, but like you I guess they thought it all worth it, 'cause they'd do anything rather than fix the underlying cause of their problems. When I visited their graves, I really only felt sad for them but thankful I chose a different lifestyle that's enabled me to stay above ground without suffering any of their ailments, so far.  

 

On 3/6/2021 at 12:15 AM, Bill Poster said:

I can order a plate of fried chicken with a side order of chips along with a large strawberry milkshake and actually get to enjoy it with a smile on my face , instead of nibbling away at a tuna salad while sipping a glass of iced water and feeling miserable .

Exactly. You got only one leg left, you're barely able to get out of your recliner and make it to the toilet, you're wheezing & short of breath just sitting and pushing buttons on the remote, you're just waiting to take your pills and your next injection that'll hopefully help ease some of the pain, but hey--fried chicken & chips, man. SO worth it. And years of such happiness to look forward to before you're finally out of the way and stop burdening caregivers.

 

Note that on the health forum we're not seeing any cute little jokes and bravado and happiness about the consequences of previous self-defeating behavior. On the contrary, we see nothing but a desperate search for cures and an end to pain. There's no, "I'm sure glad I was a lazy pig all those years. That was smart." Why is that?

 

On 3/6/2021 at 12:15 AM, Bill Poster said:

has any one here all ready thrown caution to the wind and abandoned their restrictive and possible frown inducing diet in favor of eating and drinking what you really like and enjoy . 

So any addict would rationalize the need to feed his addiction and maintain self-defeating behavior. Far more rational and healthier to discover the reason for the addiction, cure it, and then no longer miss what you'd thought so enjoyable and necessary. That way, you not only got a smile for now but also a far greater probability of enjoying that smile well into your 90s.

 

Edited March 7, 2021 by BigStar

[mahtin]

14 hours ago, Jingthing said:

 Exceptions may be smoking if you're bothering others.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/keith-richards-gets-smokeless-ashtray-to-avoid-annoying-mick-jagger

[BigStar]

On 3/6/2021 at 9:28 AM, Bill Poster said:

Could family genetics play a part in the scheme of things.

Doesn't matter, because you can't count them to protect you, as studies of twins have verified. For example,

 

Josephine Tesauro never thought she would live so long. At 92, she is straight backed, firm jawed and vibrantly healthy, living alone in an immaculate brick ranch house high on a hill near McKeesport, a Pittsburgh suburb. She works part time in a hospital gift shop and drives her 1995 white Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera to meetings of her four bridge groups, to church and to the grocery store. She has outlived her husband, who died nine years ago, when he was 84. She has outlived her friends, and she has outlived three of her six brothers.

 

Mrs. Tesauro does, however, have a living sister, an identical twin. But she and her twin are not so identical anymore. Her sister is incontinent, she has had a hip replacement, and she has a degenerative disorder that destroyed most of her vision. She also has dementia. “She just does not comprehend,” Mrs. Tesauro says.

 

     --https://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/31/health/31age.html

 

[BigStar]

On 3/6/2021 at 12:31 PM, Bill Poster said:

Its normally the same motley crowd of retired over 65 year old expats sitting there . The thing that plainly stands out when in conversations with them is their apparent non interest in their diet . In the past I have broached the subject of loosing weight and trying to stay healthy . Looking around the table at the assembled beer bellies , expanded waistlines and red faces , to me its obvious that they have decided to throw caution to the wind then order another beer and delicious fat drenched beef burger.

Sounds like useless alcoholics leading vacuous lives. Can't see any role model there, sorry.  

[BigStar]

On 3/6/2021 at 12:54 PM, Bill Poster said:

When I saw the hospital doctor he sent me for these tests .......

 

A. Physical examination of my stomach area. ( No issues found )
B. Blood test - 4 vials of blood were taken. ( Blood test results showed high cholesterol , every thing else was within the normal range) .
C. A stool sample .( stool sample results were negative ) .
D. An ECG test - electrocardiogram . ( results were normal / heart / lungs / etc ) .

 

Not saying all that much, actually. Poor @GoldenTrianglewas claiming recently that the machine with the wires & stuff told him that his heart had no problem. Sheryl immediately burst that balloon, noted he could still die of a heart attack tomorrow. Let's see the stress test & calcium score. Let's see the all the numbers and also their ratios. Oh, just lil' ol' high cholesterol, lemme have more fried chicken, fries, and milk shakes. Love it. Friend of mine walking around with cane told me something of the same re: his high blood pressure. Doesn't "need" to know any other numbers, 'cause he's still able to walk with his cane, good 'nuff. ???? One issue about meds, BTW, is they tend to treat symptoms, not the underlying cause, which may just get worse. Diabetes is a notorious case in point.  

 

[OswaldBastable]

12 minutes ago, BigStar said:

Sounds like useless alcoholics leading vacuous lives. Can't see any role model there, sorry.  

What other kind of life can you lead as a retired person?

[Surelynot]

4 minutes ago, BigStar said:

BTW, is they tend to treat symptoms, not the underlying cause, which may just get worse. Diabetes is a notorious case in point.  

 

...there is no treatment for diabetes...is there?

[Surelynot]

1 minute ago, OswaldBastable said:

What other kind of life can you lead as a retired person?

Good point....beginning to wonder that myself......anyway....off to the bar to ponder on that one.

[Pilotman]

1 minute ago, Surelynot said:

...there is no treatment for diabetes...is there?

yes there is, at least for Type 2, which can be controlled or even reversed by diet and exercise. 

[hotchilli]

2 hours ago, Bill Poster said:

 

The more I see comments mentioning the word ‘’ moderation ‘’ the more I’m starting to change my once stead fast view . Every thing in moderation could in fact be the right path .????

 

 

Thanks .

 

The body is a wonderful machine, it can take what most people throw at it and deal with it.

If you fancy a burger have one, if you fancy a pizza have one, a beer have one, a glass of wine or chocolate have it and enjoy it...but just not to excess.

Live on one thing and you'll pay the price eventually.

[BigStar]

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Would I feel better if I would think all the time about the things which I should not eat or only eat a little? Sure not.

Disingenuous. If you had insulin resistance and therefore hunger under control then you wouldn't miss the things you imagine you need to eat now. Notice that people generally don't have a 2nd milkshake immediately after they've finished one. Why's that?

 

Would you feel better if you didn't have diabetes, were not overweight, and were basically fit? Surely yes. After one of your legs is amputated, would you think you were once better off with 2 legs? Surely yes.

 

Unfortunately diabetes tends to get worse and worse if you don't work on the underlying cause. In fact the meds you take for it help ensure exactly that. Jason Fung explains here:

 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

1 hour ago, Bill Poster said:

 

The part where you say........

 

And I saw too many people who wanted to drink/eat/smoke and they didn't do it and they looked like they didn't enjoy their life because of the restrictions they put on themselves. I don't want to be one of those.

 

 

Is some thing that Ive also seen when out for a meal with my two now dead friends . They were steadfast in their belief that their eating habits were a route to the promised land of longevity. But I have to say that many times sitting with them and watching them eat their restricted diet , they never really seemed to display any pleasure with the food in front of them ,yes the did put on a brave face but they also reminded me of young children being forced to finish their plate of vegetables by their strict mother. 

 

 

Thanks ????

 

I know it's dangerous territory to play hobby psychologist. However I am sure that part of living long is about living happy and don't worry too much. If people constantly restrict themselves I can't imagine that is good for their health.

 

 

 

[Lacessit]

8 hours ago, hotchilli said:

Everything in moderation is the key to happiness & good health.

Have a bit of what you like when you like, but no excessive binges.

I understand it is impossible to overdose on caffeine or sex, provided no other stimulant is used. The body just refuses to go further than its capacity for either.

There's a doctor on the internet somewhere claiming two cups of coffee a day helps the cardiovascular system.

I've yet to encounter any medico that says sex is bad for me. When I do, I'll probably put them on ignore.

[BigStar]

6 minutes ago, hotchilli said:

The body is a wonderful machine, it can take what most people throw at it and deal with it.

If you fancy a burger have one, if you fancy a pizza have one, a beer have one, a glass of wine or chocolate have it and enjoy it...but just not to excess.

That works for some people, but not for the people who most need to improve their health. It's like telling a recovering alcoholic to celebrate the start of the weekend with just one shot of bourbon, no problem. Unfortunately thought has to go into what can be safely consumed in moderation and how often the moderation can be. It's amazing how few extra known-bad calories (sugar) per day can add up to unwanted weight gain over a period of time. 

[OneMoreFarang]

6 minutes ago, BigStar said:

Disingenuous. If you had insulin resistance and therefore hunger under control then you wouldn't miss the things you imagine you need to eat now. Notice that people generally don't have a 2nd milkshake immediately after they've finished one. Why's that?

 

Would you feel better if you didn't have diabetes, were not overweight, and were basically fit? Surely yes. After one of your legs is amputated, would you think you were once better off with 2 legs? Surely yes.

 

Unfortunately diabetes tends to get worse and worse if you don't work on the underlying cause. In fact the meds you take for it help ensure exactly that. Jason Fung explains here:

 

 

Thanks, I will watch that video.

I am aware that that is a complex issue.

 

I.e. before I was diagnosed with diabetes a couple of years ago I was drinking all the time coke. The real coke with lots of sugar. Then after the diagnosis and starting to take medicine (tables, not injections) I also stopped drinking coke and any other sweet drinks. And what happend? My weight went up - not down as expected.

 

In general maybe I make myself sound worse than I am actually are. I am happy with one milk shake from time to time - seldom. I gave up drinking coke and other sweet drinks. A few months later i tried just for fun a coca cola again. I didn't like it. Way too sweet. And I don't miss it.

 

But I think there are limitations of what people should allow themselves to eat. I.e. I love ice-cream. Probably it would be healthier if I didn't eat it. But then it would also be healthier if I wouldn't live in the middle of Bangkok etc. 

Luckily I am not a fan of fast food and other unhealthy food so all together my "diet" is far away from perfect but it could be a lot worse.

 

 

[Walker88]

Finally there is actual research, using Francis Bacon's Scientific Method, going into the the subject of aging and health. Much is being funded by Billionaire Baby Boomers who want extra years to enjoy their wealth. Major US universities, like Harvard and Stanford, now run programs aimed at healthy living and even reversing the aging process.

 

In the past there has been too much quackery in this field as well as 'accepted wisdom' that is often proven wrong.

 

David Sinclair, of the team at Harvard Medical School, is methodically looking at all factors related to aging, and is determined to have the medical community state that 'aging' is a disease. To understand all of what is being uncovered, it helps to have a lot of knowledge about biochemistry, but anyone can still benefit.

 

Sinclair believes that while genetics are probably most important, they are less important that previously thought, and lifestyle and diet play a larger role than thought. It's still a game of odds, and anyone can point out someone who did everything right and passed at a young age, but those are more outliers than the norm.

 

The key findings seem to be: skipping meals is a plus, stressing the body is a plus (such as purposely being too cold or too hot), explosive exercise is a plus (like weight lifting or sprints) while lengthy cardio may actually be a minus (too much buildup of free radicals that damage telomeres or even DNA sequencing).

 

The body has mechanisms that shut down some aspects of cell reproduction as one ages, but that can be beaten. There are good evolutionary reasons why some cell reproduction shuts down (and has thus been 'selected in'). Cells suffer damage over time due to environmental factors or just errors in reproduction. Turning those cells off is a preventative of cancer, as damaged cells over producing is what cancer is. Sinclair, however, has found that cells have the ability to repair DNA damage, so repaired cells should be allowed to reproduce as long as possible. He has not yet found that cells have a lifespan, but he has discovered that cells can live much longer than once thought. Since each of us is just a few billion cells, if the cells can reproduce accurately for a long time, we will live longer and healthier.

 

He has isolated molecules that the body needs to repair cell damage, but which decline naturally with age. Supplements (which Sinclair neither sells nor endorses, but does take regularly) can make up for what the body no longer has in sufficient amounts. There is no one magic bullet, because aging involves many processes in the cells, so Sinclair's "Supplement Stack" is pretty long.

 

The overall goal of the research is two-fold: to live longer while also living longer in healthy shape and free from the most common effects of aging.

 

Some of the most exciting research surrounds turning on stem cells. Sinclair has done this in mice and has achieved optic nerve repair, so that 'three blind mice' are no longer blind. He is working on repair of spinal damage, which could allow the paralyzed to move normally again.

 

Some of the research also impacts subjects perhaps best described as 'vanity', such as actually eliminating wrinkles because the cells go back to producing the collagen and elastin needed to keep skin soft and supple.

 

The secrets are being discovered, building upon other research such an unraveling the human genome and finding out what each gene does.

 

Bottom Line: one can both live longer and healthier, but it takes some work. Certainly it cannot be any fun to get decrepit or tote around an extra 20-30 kilos, even if eating all those Moonpies and brownies was satisfying.

[BigStar]

29 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I understand it is impossible to overdose on caffeine or sex, provided no other stimulant is used. The body just refuses to go further than its capacity for either.

There's a doctor on the internet somewhere claiming two cups of coffee a day helps the cardiovascular system.

I've yet to encounter any medico that says sex is bad for me. When I do, I'll probably put them on ignore.

Reminds me of a typical working-class Brit who'd agree with you. I happened to meet him living in my building when I first came to Pattaya years ago. I'd sometimes encounter him sitting at the white plastic table just outside the local shop, having a beer and a smoke, being a heavy smoker. 

 

He always started a conversation in medias res, habitually omitted initial pronouns, and hardly made other pronoun references clear; what with his dialect, it took weeks to glean much information out of him.

 

Basically he lived for spending evenings at 'is fave bar on 2nd Rd. (Still there, but moved across the street.) "They LUV me there!" He proudly showed me his thick photo album of girls he'd shagged. He never brought them back to his room, however. He had a thing about that, and it really was wise of him. Rather, once a week or so, he rented a decent room at Mike Hotel downtown and treated himself and his temporary companion to a bit of, well, relative luxury. Nor was this the only luxury.

 

"Can't stand 'em. Never use 'em."

So typical. I'd never know what the h.e.ll he was talking about unless I dug it out of him.

"Huh? Can't stand WHAT?"

"You know. Condoms. Can't stand 'em."

(Sputter) "You're not using condoms with these ladies?” Sounded like a death wish to me.

"Nope. Never. Bird won't do it without me wearin’ one o’ ‘em, I won't either. Most of 'em will, though. And—knock on wood (rapping his knuckles on the plastic table)—Oi've NEVER HAD A PROBLEM!"

 

So we might say the condoms were put on "ignore." Live for today, man. 

 

Died just a few years later of AIDS at age 57, cremated at Wat Sawangfa in Naklua, ashes scattered in Pattaya Bay. A funny, sociable guy, missed by his friends, relatives, and even ex-wife in Blighty, who sent flowers and pictures. The bar closed temporarily for his ceremony and all the working girls attended, black ravens.

 

[BigStar]

4 minutes ago, Walker88 said:

Bottom Line: one can both live longer and healthier, but it takes some work. Certainly it cannot be any fun to get decrepit or tote around an extra 20-30 kilos, even if eating all those Moonpies and brownies was satisfying.

Both/And. I like that. So much simple-minded, self-rationalizing binary thinking here. You'll enjoy this miserable Peter Attia, who really needs to read this thread to know how to be happy:

 

 

[BigStar]

58 minutes ago, OswaldBastable said:

What other kind of life can you lead as a retired person?

Where to start. OK, get a few ideas here:

 

When boredom starts to rule the day,

I Love Pattaya, and

Why live in Pattaya?

 

At home, books, hobbies, movies & series, writing, exercise, stretching, yoga, foam rolling, surfing, email, even video games:

 

 

So many expats seem to revert to an infantile state when they arrive in Thailand. Heard of guy yesterday unable to overcome all the high hurdles of getting a new passport. Paid an agent to tell him to fill out & sign the form, go get the photos, then bring them w/ the passport to his office so that the agent could then mail out the passport, form, and photos. 

[Kelsall]

Genetics plays a big role.  Pick your parents wisely.

[OswaldBastable]

1 hour ago, BigStar said:

Where to start. OK, get a few ideas here:

 

When boredom starts to rule the day,

I Love Pattaya, and

Why live in Pattaya?

 

At home, books, hobbies, movies & series, writing, exercise, stretching, yoga, foam rolling, surfing, email, even video games:

 

 

So many expats seem to revert to an infantile state when they arrive in Thailand. Heard of guy yesterday unable to overcome all the high hurdles of getting a new passport. Paid an agent to tell him to fill out & sign the form, go get the photos, then bring them w/ the passport to his office so that the agent could then mail out the passport, form, and photos. 

 

You originally posted, "Sounds like useless alcoholics leading vacuous lives. Can't see any role model there, sorry."

The list you now give is a list of equally 'vacuous' pursuits, just different pursuits from sitting in a bar drinking. 

After retirement we're just occupying ourselves with pointless activities while waiting to die.

Reading or watching movies have no inherent worth over sitting in a bar drinking.

Edited March 7, 2021 by OswaldBastable

[Leaver]

3 hours ago, BigStar said:

Both/And. I like that. So much simple-minded, self-rationalizing binary thinking here. You'll enjoy this miserable Peter Attia, who really needs to read this thread to know how to be happy:

 

Thanks for the clip.  

 

I watched about 30 mins.  Will watch the rest another time.

 

I bet if Peter Attia spent some time in Thailand, his lecture would have ben different.  ????

[Bill Poster]

4 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

 

I know it's dangerous territory to play hobby psychologist. However I am sure that part of living long is about living happy and don't worry too much. If people constantly restrict themselves I can't imagine that is good for their health.

 

 

 

 

I’m now wondering just how much having a happy frame of mind and trying not to excessively worry can play a part in the overall scheme of things . I consider my self a happy type of person but just lately after reading some of the comments here my frame of mind is a bit confused . Just to night I had my evening meal but after I felt the urge to eat some thing sweet . A bowl of sliced banana with Birds custard .  As soon as I had finished the sweet and took the now empty bowl to the kitchen sink a strange feeling came over me , a feeling like I had some how let my self down. ????

 

Thanks ????

 

 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 3/6/2021 at 12:13 PM, bojo said:

Generally, if you eat healthily, you will feel healthy. Regarding 'throwing caution to the wind' and solely from a diet perspective, I think that if you make an effort to understand nutrition and the pros and cons, local ingredients wherever you're laying your golden years hat, local culinary methods and recipes and have an open mind, you can have mouth watering eating experiences everywhere. Just make an effort to cook from scratch, that is key and you can pretty much eat what you want................... Whilst not forgetting to head to the beach for grilled chicken, somtam and sticky rice!!!!!!!

Somewhat subjective IMO. I never made any attempt to "eat healthy" for most of my life and never felt "unhealthy". I certainly ate far too much sugar and salt. I could scoff down a large bottle of flavoured sugar water, or consume a large bag of lollies without any ill effects.

As with everything, SOME people are more susceptible to ill health than others, just as some heavy smokers lived to 90+ and never a day in hospital.

 

Re cooking- now that I'm retired I have time to cook, but it takes so much time I normally can't be bothered doing so. No way I could have done so when I was working 12 hour days.

[thaibeachlovers]

8 hours ago, OswaldBastable said:

 

You originally posted, "Sounds like useless alcoholics leading vacuous lives. Can't see any role model there, sorry."

The list you now give is a list of equally 'vacuous' pursuits, just different pursuits from sitting in a bar drinking. 

After retirement we're just occupying ourselves with pointless activities while waiting to die.

Reading or watching movies have no inherent worth over sitting in a bar drinking.

After retirement we're just occupying ourselves with pointless activities while waiting to die.

 

100% true, especially when single and childless.

 

The sad thing for me is that I have multiple skills earned by hard experience that I could pass on, but no one appears interested in enabling me to do so.

[sirineou]

14 hours ago, Bill Poster said:

 

I think my reaction to my friends eating habits and my acidic reply was in some part due to their constant and never ending ‘’ you will end up in an early grave ‘’ comments to me . I’m not quite sure , about my irresponsible behaviour. ????

 

 

Thanks ????

 

 

 

I don't mean to be critical to you, we all need excuses to justify our weakness of doing the right thing, Me included. if I had a dollar for every time I tried to rationalise my shortcomings. 

The secret to diets is to develop a system that fits your lifestyle , otherwise you will not be able to maintain it.

  And develop a reward system. 

For instance, don't eat anything after 6 PM, but it's ok if you are out with family and friend on a weekend. Or  stay away from sweets but indulge in a decadent  desert once a week. Gives you something to look forward to.

Same with exercise, if you just do mindless exercises,  how long will you keep it up. We all have all the exercise equipment that are collecting dust. But develop an interest on a sport that you do with people you like, and suddenly you cant wait to do it. My sister, always had a problem with weight. It'd not that she eats more than others , it's just the way her body is designed. She tried Gyms and this exercise, and yoga, and Pilate, but always fell of the wagon.  Until she got into Pickleball. ( form of easy tennis, in a smaller court , its the latest thing here in the US) anyway , she plays every day now, she meets with people and it's fun. You should see her now, she must have lost 29 lbs. 

Anyway Good luck , as they say" I don't know why they say it's hard to quit drinking, I quit every monday" LOL

Edited March 7, 2021 by sirineou

[Bill Poster]

1 hour ago, sirineou said:

I don't mean to be critical to you, we all need excuses to justify our weakness of doing the right thing, Me included. if I had a dollar for every time I tried to rationalise my shortcomings. 

The secret to diets is to develop a system that fits your lifestyle , otherwise you will not be able to maintain it.

  And develop a reward system. 

For instance, don't eat anything after 6 PM, but it's ok if you are out with family and friend on a weekend. Or  stay away from sweets but indulge in a decadent  desert once a week. Gives you something to look forward to.

Same with exercise, if you just do mindless exercises,  how long will you keep it up. We all have all the exercise equipment that are collecting dust. But develop an interest on a sport that you do with people you like, and suddenly you cant wait to do it. My sister, always had a problem with weight. It'd not that she eats more than others , it's just the way her body is designed. She tried Gyms and this exercise, and yoga, and Pilate, but always fell of the wagon.  Until she got into Pickleball. ( form of easy tennis, in a smaller court , its the latest thing here in the US) anyway , she plays every day now, she meets with people and it's fun. You should see her now, she must have lost 29 lbs. 

Anyway Good luck , as they say" I don't know why they say it's hard to quit drinking, I quit every monday" LOL

 

Many thanks for your honest and thought provoking words, they are really appreciated and have given me some thing to think about and hopefully put into action .

 

Thanks ????

 

 

[hotchilli]

22 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Nightingale took another drag on his cigarette before continuing. ‘Say I live until I’m seventy-five without smoking. And say I die at seventy if I do smoke. I lose five years. But really, Jenny, what am I going to be doing during those five years? Sitting in a bedsit somewhere watching the football, assuming I’ve enough of a pension to be able to afford Sky Sport?

Or at the age of 40-something you could be hooked up to an oxygen tank.. why do you think it will only affect the end of you life?

[Lacessit]

14 hours ago, BigStar said:

Reminds me of a typical working-class Brit who'd agree with you. I happened to meet him living in my building when I first came to Pattaya years ago. I'd sometimes encounter him sitting at the white plastic table just outside the local shop, having a beer and a smoke, being a heavy smoker. 

 

He always started a conversation in medias res, habitually omitted initial pronouns, and hardly made other pronoun references clear; what with his dialect, it took weeks to glean much information out of him.

 

Basically he lived for spending evenings at 'is fave bar on 2nd Rd. (Still there, but moved across the street.) "They LUV me there!" He proudly showed me his thick photo album of girls he'd shagged. He never brought them back to his room, however. He had a thing about that, and it really was wise of him. Rather, once a week or so, he rented a decent room at Mike Hotel downtown and treated himself and his temporary companion to a bit of, well, relative luxury. Nor was this the only luxury.

 

"Can't stand 'em. Never use 'em."

So typical. I'd never know what the h.e.ll he was talking about unless I dug it out of him.

"Huh? Can't stand WHAT?"

"You know. Condoms. Can't stand 'em."

(Sputter) "You're not using condoms with these ladies?” Sounded like a death wish to me.

"Nope. Never. Bird won't do it without me wearin’ one o’ ‘em, I won't either. Most of 'em will, though. And—knock on wood (rapping his knuckles on the plastic table)—Oi've NEVER HAD A PROBLEM!"

 

So we might say the condoms were put on "ignore." Live for today, man. 

 

Died just a few years later of AIDS at age 57, cremated at Wat Sawangfa in Naklua, ashes scattered in Pattaya Bay. A funny, sociable guy, missed by his friends, relatives, and even ex-wife in Blighty, who sent flowers and pictures. The bar closed temporarily for his ceremony and all the working girls attended, black ravens.

 

It depends on one's appetite for risk. The only woman in Thailand I have ever shagged without a condom is my Thai GF of 8 years, and it was two years before we got around to bareback.

My guess is your working-class Brit was into anal sex, because the probability of contracting HIV through vaginal or oral sex is quite low.

OTOH, at my age I probably should not be on a scooter. However, I value my freedom and mobility more than the risk.

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

 

The sad thing for me is that I have multiple skills earned by hard experience that I could pass on, but no one appears interested in enabling me to do so.

Me too, IMO Thailand wastes a valuable resource in its farang retirees when it could be using them, even as volunteers, to pass on valuable skills. But then, the government here does not really want a well-educated citizenry, does it?

If one wants enablement, I suspect that is something that has to come from within. No-one else is likely to do it for you, philanthropists are in short supply.