I don't know where to put this: It doesn't belong in General, maybe the Pets Section - so I thought this might lighten things up and put a smile on a few faces. Feel free to copy it and pass it on.

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout; run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Peter

you forgot to include that if you meet someone then you should smell their butt...

Rub your ass on the carpet if your hemorrhoids itch.

If you can reach it with your tongue, you're a happy dog.

I don't know where to put this: It doesn't belong in General, maybe the Pets Section - so I thought this might lighten things up and put a smile on a few faces. Feel free to copy it and pass it on.

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout; run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Peter

Makes "a dog's life" sound pretty darn good, doesn't it? Love it!!

Lick your genitals even if someone is watching.

get blamed if someone else farts

Lick your genitals even if someone is watching.

Lick your genitals because you can..

if i could lick my own genitals I would never go outside...

if i could lick my own genitals I would never go outside...

Not even to buy breath mints?

Always ensure it looks like the cat did it.

If you don't enjoy your meal.........vomit.

Monogamy is for those strange two legged things that take you for a walk

Monogamy is for those strange two legged things that take you for a walk

Big fat lie.

Monogamy is for those strange two legged things that take you for a walk

Big fat lie.

Fine.... and geese too.

Monogamy is for those strange two legged things that take you for a walk

Big fat lie.

Fine.... and geese too.

Ever been chased by a gander, CV?

Monogamy is for those strange two legged things that take you for a walk

Big fat lie.

Fine.... and geese too.

Ever been chased by a gander, CV?

I fed a whole bag of popcorn to those ######'s in the park in Abbotsford once, and the whole bloody flock came at me when I ran out.

I shot a lot of them in my younger days (not in the park) so I guess I had it coming.

Yup.

Sadly played an awful trick on the old lady on our honeymoon. Nearest thing to a live goose she had seen was in her favorite Mong Kong restaurant, plucked and ready for the soup. Thus, when a large flock were spotted in Aussie, I helpfully came up with the crumbs from a packet of Cheese and Onion and offered suitable words of encouragement.

Never knew a human could run so fast. Impressive really. What with her being 5" 2 and chinese, to be able to match your average African American sprinter over quite a distance, was worthy of praise

Sorry, your words flew straight over my head, Limpy.

Geese they did !!

Geese make the best guard dogs, noisy and vicious.

Waste of time for eating though. I cooked one a few years back for Xmas. The end result was a pile of skin and bones and a pan full of goose fat.

Another thing we'd learn if a dog was teacher is that being taken walkies by master frequently means a visit to the pub.

Piss on the leg of someone you don't like.

Crikeys, Croc, that's like closing the gate after the f** horse bolted.

Geese make the best guard dogs, noisy and vicious.

Waste of time for eating though. I cooked one a few years back for Xmas. The end result was a pile of skin and bones and a pan full of goose fat.

Farm raised goose is like that. Whole different thing when they're wild.

Geese make the best guard dogs, noisy and vicious.

Waste of time for eating though. I cooked one a few years back for Xmas. The end result was a pile of skin and bones and a pan full of goose fat.

Farm raised goose is like that. Whole different thing when they're wild.

How are they when they are just pissed off?

Geese make the best guard dogs, noisy and vicious.

Waste of time for eating though. I cooked one a few years back for Xmas. The end result was a pile of skin and bones and a pan full of goose fat.

Farm raised goose is like that. Whole different thing when they're wild.

How are they when they are just pissed off?

That's just what I was thinking. What if they're livid!

Geese make the best guard dogs, noisy and vicious.

Waste of time for eating though. I cooked one a few years back for Xmas. The end result was a pile of skin and bones and a pan full of goose fat.

Farm raised goose is like that. Whole different thing when they're wild.

How are they when they are just pissed off?

That's just what I was thinking. What if they're livid!

You could make goose livid pate

CB

Would it be more tasty as a result?

More piqued than piquant, that's for sure.

Shit in the street and lat the girl you're with pick it up.

Wait for the missus to come home with a 'doggy bag'