This morning in the shower having just got myself nicely soaped I leant against the wall and shut my eyes for a moments relaxation and suddenly felt my feet uncontrollably slipping away from me and unable to stop I fell with a bang onto the tiled floor. It must have been a bit of a bang because my Thai lady downstairs called out to me and not getting a reply rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom to find me laying motionless on the floor. Anyway thankfully after a few moments  I came around and a quick check over there was neither blood or anything broken but just left with a stiff neck and shoulder. 
Having got me downstairs and in a comfy chair she still crying her eyes out asked what was a really valid point as to what should she do had it been a lot worse, she has no access to my phone to contact my friends or family or bank account if she needs to get money to pay for meds and treatment etc. Nor is she really aware that I have both accident and health insurance or how to contact them. So my thinking is to put a letter in a sealed envelope with the strictest instructions to only open in an emergency containing all the info she would require in case I am unable to do so for myself. What do others have?

My wife has had knowledge of pin numbers etc for sometime so finances would not be an issue.

Likewise she knows the pin to unlock my devices and can easily access everyone directly through that device.

The rest is on paper in my private draw which she knows exactly where to look and open etc when/if the need arises.

The OP's plan is likely full of holes.  He has to keep his sealed document up-to-date at all times.  He hasn't tested it to see if she is going to understand and be able to carry out all the steps necessary.  My guess is that it won't work very well.

 

The problem is that he doesn't trust his wife/girlfriend sufficiently.  If that's the case, then he should dump her for someone he does trust. 

 

Then he should incorporate whichever wife/girlfriend has passed the test into his household finances.  That means access to all accounts such as bank accounts, brokerages, credit cards, online billing, transfer, and payment procedures, access to his mobile phone, access to his online contacts for notification purposes, and so on.  

 

He should also prepare a manual of procedures that she will have to carry out in the event of his death or disability.  If she is going to inherit his assets in his home country the process for obtaining the necessary documentation to carry that out should be obtained from his consulate and documented.

 

Then going forward, they should carry out every financial step together at all times.  The goal is that in the event of death or debilitating interest she should be able to continue to run the household without missing a beat.  The only way that can happen is if she has been carrying out all those steps already for years together with the OP.

 

Sound like a lot of work?  It certainly is.  That's what it means to have responsibility for someone else.

 

 

I have an envelope taped to the front of my refrigerator that has all of the info and contact information that anyone would probably need.  It includes the phone, email, address, etc., for my daughter back in my home country, embassy information, the contact info for a couple of trusted friends (with their permission) in Thailand, copies of insurance docs, passport photo page, etc.   I frankly don't remember what all info I included but I would think it would mostly get someone sorted should things go south or an accident which is the more likely event.  Also, I have told several people about this envelope so that those trusted friend will know where to look.  

Have a legal will is the first step.

 

Second, in our situation, my wife has 100% access to everything here and abroad and knows what to do.

 

Her name is on everything.

 

 

I have a Thai will and Australian will. All assets in Thailand go to my Thai GF, the assets in Australia go to my son and sister.

There is a joint account with my Thai GF which has enough money in it to keep her going until probate is granted on the Thai will. We've agreed she won't touch it unless I am incapacitated.

She has my son's phone number, and can connect with him on LINE. I am in the process of setting her up with DUO, which has superior video capabilities.

Seems you have little real/valuable comminications or sharing with your partner.

 

How sad.

 

My family have full details of where everything is, the location and full understanding of relevant documents for: health, insurance, banking, death etc. And pin/security codes etc.

 

Try it, might be nirvana.

 

 

 

My situation isn't exactly the same since I"m single, but I have a secured document of several pages that I always keep updated with financial account details, logins, passwords and information about all of my assets in Thailand. Once a year I print a hard copy and give it to my sister in the US. 

 

If I was in a relationship in which I didn't have 100% trust, I would provide my sister's contact information to my partner. 

This appears to be a friend rather than spouse - but they should be aware of health insurance and hospital choice in case of emergency at a minimum.  I assume your Embassy has family contact information in worst case situation.  Suspect it would be a good idea to establish a bank account in her name that she could access in emergency but normally not to be used.

 

 

Apart from a professionally set up Thai Will and Living Will - which I regard BOTH as mandatory - I have created an encrypted emergency USB stick containing all relevant scans of documents and lists of documents which I update and which she carries with her. She knows how to decrypt it and we actually practise that from time to time.

 

My wife might not read and fully understand all there is in it, but other persons which she would ask for help will. Then there is a selection of original documents as well. Not scattered all over the place but in enveloppes with a description on top. Besides we speak from time to time about the case when I will die.

Many of the replies here I actually find quite insulting. Firstly I totally trust her. She is at this moment shopping without me and she has my wallet and total access to whatever is in it and I don’t count the money before and after or check the receipts. Secondly I have 2 wills one for Thailand and 1 for the uk and she gets the lot when I die. I also have her covered with accident insurance and limited medical cover and help with her support of her daughter studying at university. And she has almost instant access to around 150,000 baht of my money  if suddenly needed. 
I was simply asking how others do what I was asking as it occurred to me that there were certain things I have never got around to. Absolutely nothing to do with not trusting her which I do totally, nothing to do with being mean on the contrary I’m very generous to her. I could go on but no doubt some of you will twist it around like you do for many a genuine inquiry.  

Ultimately, it will come down to two scenarios.

One: Your dead, from there the point is moot. You need not be responsible beyond the grave.

         They were surviving before you, they'll survive after you.
At this point it's just who gets your assets.

By hook or crook, things will be sorted out one way or another, but a proper Will should be all that's necessary.

 

Two: Your alive but incapacitated. 

         This is where a Living Will is extremely important. Tape it to the frig, keep it on you, whatever, but you want the hospital to know clearly your preferences straight off.

If living in a vegetative state, minimal quality of life, doesn't sound attractive to you then indicate clearly, DNR, (do not resuscitate).

Here's where a forceful medical advocate will be advantageous, and is what you need to communicate to your mate.

 

The hospital is a business, they're looking to generate $, 

by keeping people in beds and performing procedures is how they make it.

 

As far as providing contingencies to your mate, such as access to accounts, contacts, etc, 

if you're concerned about her well being, then you'll grant access to the above.

A simple document with pertinent info should suffice,  on a flash drive, a PDF, etc, located somewhere secure that she's familiar with.

 

Communicate your wishes and general instructions often.

And as mentioned, make sure she or another, clearly understands your preferences and location of your Living Will so it can be presented to the hospital in a timely manner if incapacitated by stroke, heart attack or accident.

 

 

Edited February 13, 20224 yr by cobra

1 hour ago, poppysdad said:

Many of the replies here I actually find quite insulting.

I do not know what you mean but you answer just following my comment so I feel I have to clarify something.

 

We are married 16 years and we did have our 19 year first meet anniversary. I would do anything for my wife. Nevertheless a Will (and Living Will) is a must. Not to limit or control her but - on the contrary - to help her. Procedures are difficult.

 

My wife has any access to anything she wants. And even then I think a Will (and Living Will) is a good thing. Maybe you should familiarize yourself with the Thai family law. And my trust for her extends far beyond everything that the sometime limited minds of some posters (so it seems) can imagine.

To the OP, my comments are not about what to do in case of death or serious accidents.  It is simply to state that I read many times of expats dying after falls in the bathroom, presumably due to slipping on the wet floor.  Never lean on something when you're on a wet floor!  Always hold onto a firm support when you get in/out of the shower.  I know this makes it sound as if you are an invalid or of very advanced years etc, but it really makes sense to be extra careful and take small steps, hold onto something etc. 

 

Think of all the dead expats who didn't follow this advice!

Through the years I have given money and bought property in my wife's name... this is real security. 

 

In addition, there is cash in case of emergency. My Will is in a safe deposit box and it lists where everything is... and my contacts back in the home country who can take care of business back there - - for extra security is a lawyer here who she can contact for help as he will be able to contact my lawyer and executor in USA as my wife does not have much English.... 

Give her your PINs now!

 

Spend it all now before you go is one solution, the other is get her co signer on your Thai bank account and make a will for assets abroad. It is of course illegal to withdraw funds after death, but who is to know about it?

Edited February 13, 20224 yr by clivebaxter

On 2/12/2022 at 8:17 PM, Isaanlife said:

Have a legal will is the first step.

It is not necessarily true that a legal will is necessary.  I am thinking of the home country, rather than Thailand, at the moment.  For instance, a US will is not necessary if the only assets in the US are financial accounts with a Transfer on Death (TOD) provision.  Such assets do not go through probate which would relieve the surviving Thai spouse of the headache of handing probate from outside the US.

1 hour ago, cmarshall said:

It is not necessarily true that a legal will is necessary.  I am thinking of the home country, rather than Thailand, at the moment.  For instance, a US will is not necessary if the only assets in the US are financial accounts with a Transfer on Death (TOD) provision.  Such assets do not go through probate which would relieve the surviving Thai spouse of the headache of handing probate from outside the US.

Necessary for me, if not for you, good for you.