Feudalism:

You have two cows.

Your lord takes some of the milk.

Fascism:

You have two cows.

The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Applied Communism:

You have two cows.

You must take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

Totalitarianism:

You have two cows.

The government takes them both and denies they ever existed.

Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy:

You have two cows.

You and your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

Representative Democracy:

You have two cows.

Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Mexican Democracy:

You have two cows.

The government takes both and drafts you into the army.

Great Britain:

You have two cows.

The government shoots one cow because it has mad cow disease.

The government comes back and shoots the other one because it has foot and mouth disease.

European Democracy:

You have two cows.

The EU commission decides which regulations for feeding and milking apply. If there aren't any, they invent some.

They pay you not to milk the cows.

They take both cows, shoot one, milk the other and pour the milk down the drain. They then require you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

American Democracy:

The government promises to give you two cows, if you vote for it.

After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures.

The press dubs the affair "cowgate," but supports the president.

The cows sue you for breach of contract. Your legal bills exceed your annual income. You settle out of court and declare bankruptcy.

Capitalism:

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

Venture Capitalism:

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. - no Balance Sheet provided with the release.

Thai Democracy:

You owe five cows but have one nice bull.

The rich owner of the bull is elected who promptly settles all your debts.

He then sells the bull to your neighbours and then runs off with all the cash and doesn't pay any tax.

Everyone becomes jealous and new leaders emerge who tell your neighbours that they must give the bull back, or but then again perhaps its ok..

England 2007.

You own a small herd of cows and a local girl as milkmaid. The local council says this is discriminatory against the ethnic minorites and you have to hire Ethiopians to milk the cows. The Ethiopian milkmaids refuse to milk the cows as their tribe look on cows as unclean animals. The council then serve you with a court order forcing you to stop this inhuman treatment of ethnic minorities and directing you to replace the cows with Ethiopian mountain goats. The maids now protest that their job is to milk the animals not herd them and you now have to hire Ethiopian goatherds. The goatherds are more interested in entertaining the milkmaids in the barn and the goats escape and devastate your neighbour's cabbage crop. Following your remonstrations with the goatherds you are served with an ASBO (Anti-Social Behaviour Order) which prohibits your presence within 500 metres of the errant goatherds and makes it impossible to run your business as they have obtained squatter's rights on your farm. You are also being sued by your neighbour for the loss of his cabbage crop and similtaneously prosecuted for allowing wild animals to roam free in the community. You file for bankruptcy and finish your days in a cardboard box on the south bank of the river Thames. The Ethiopians take over your farm aided by a generous local council business development grant and sell it to a property developer for several million enabling them to invite the rest of their village over to the land of plenty.