daughter guardianship rights

[Lolothai]

Hi,

 

I'm in the process of divorcing, wasting a lot of time preparing all the documents. I had to translate my passport and a tiny sara e was short instead of long on my third name... So I had to do it all over. Now I have to change the birth certificate name of my daughter, my second and third name are missing on it. I had to do like 20 trips and countless of appointments and I feel that I'm close to get my divorce settlement signed.

The divorce settlement is 350 000 bahts payable 10 000 per month from my ex wife and most important I get the guardianship of my daughter. My ex wife keeps the land, house and car and guardianship of my other daughter.

Once I get the guardianship I wish to be able to cut her off my life and forget all the horrible things she did to me. Furthermore I don't want my daughter to be taught how to steal, have sex and lie to men to get money, sell love and sex to get money and a bunch of other things... I would like to make her evolve in a better world, as I lost everything I put her in free school for this year but I'm working and making money and next year I will put her in private school.

My daughter is very happy and she loves my girlfriend, every week end I bring them to travel to make them happy. My daughter didn't ask her mother once, she doesn't speak about it.

My ex wife 8 years ago abandon her 5 year old son to meet me, I told her I will be happy to adopt him and 8 months later she kidnapped him. She didn't care much about him all those years and I was the one interested in his education.

Now comes my question, what would happen if she decides to kidnap my daughter at her school? Knowing that I'm the guardian. Could I call the police and get back my daughter or would I have to contact a lawyer, sue her then after a long procedure getting her back?

[Kenny202]

I am in a similar situation to you. From what I gather possession is 9/10s of the law here regarding kids and her being Thai and the mother this would make this even more difficult. Hopefully in your settlement you are having it stated she is granting you custody? Not that it holds much weight legally but it does state intentions. I think the police would be very reluctant to take the child from the mother if she already had taken her... on your say so only and god knows what she could tell them. I had a couple of incidents where she called the police because I blocked her on LINE (and they actually came! lol) and another time she broke into my house and refused to leave. A consummate liar and expert at garnering sympathy she turned the situation around to where she had committed a clear cut criminal act to where she was the victim. The Police told me I would have to pay her 500k to leave my home! We had been separated for over three months. As soon as I started talking lawyers they changed their tune. If you have evidence of her situation and you can prove yourself to be the fitter parent you could go through the court process and hopefully win but it takes time and money. Very sad and difficult situation where often it appears the wrong doer has more rights than you, someone who is trying to do the right thing. As far as her getting out of your life good luck with that. You will probably be her first port of call when she is down on her luck or just feeling sorry for herself. Never give her even a whiff that there is any chance she can use the child to manipulate you. If she senses this will be game over until she bleeds you dry and runs u into the ground. If she was anything like mine she would take the child in a moment of self pity or whatever, be tired of it in a week and dump him on some Aunty somewhere. Some women here have no qualms whatsoever using the love and care you have for your children against you, all the while themselves seeing their own child as a only a leverage tool. Mine has three other children to other fathers and abandoned them all. I only found this out and a bunch of other stuff after I came here and built a house and already in deep. Anyway, she was running me ragged....using my son to manipulate me. In the end I told her ok, she is the mum. She can come and get him anytime she likes...I know this but she can't bring him back ie you are gonna get stuck "holding the baby". That straightened her up a treat and since that 6 years ago I have been in the drivers seat. We were never married and I went and did the paternity thing through the courts not long after and I am pretty sure she believes it was a custody case where I now have custody...not only paternity. Actually haven't heard from her in nearly a year but she followed me around like a ghost for 6 years. crazy or drunken calls, messages in the middle of the night when she was wallowing in self pity. Just a totally self destructive person that pulls anyone else down around her. These women are cunning but often not smart. You need to try and get in front of her somehow where you having the child is in her best interest. I still worry mine will turn up here one day or at the school and try and take my son. Good luck to you brother, hope it all works out for you.....feel your pain

Edited October 7, 2022 by Kenny202

[Lolothai]

Thank you very much for your message, it does help to don't feel alone, well I could guess there was a lot of similar case like mine, it's a classic here. I would have expect this from any prostitute but when I met her she looked innocent and somehow she was, she had bad intention but she didn't know yet how, she was 25 and now she is 34 and she got colder.

I don't think she would try to bleed me dry, she is not drinking or smoking, she is not crazy on spending, she is greedy but she has little needs. She is very proud and she can have so many other preys and there is a lot of suckers out there so I'm really not worried about her trying to get money from me from now on. She will have to pay me 10 000 every month and I will be able to sue her if she doesn't respect the divorce agreement. I heard that it does hold weight legally, once she gives me custody of my daughter I'm legally the guardian but it would be better if it was confirmed by a lawyer, the thing is that I don't know how to just get advise and pay for advise only not the full very expensive package especially when there is nothing to do yet.

If not for my daughter she would not even know or care if I'm still alive. I have some ideas of what her future could be but it can be so many things from now on. She has health issues, thyroid, cyst and heart but with proper medication she should be fine, she spoke about going to Krabi for vacation with all her family but few months before this she told me that if it was not working with her new boyfriend/sponsor she would go to Phuket as she has a friend that make party on boat, dancing and entertaining men so I suppose she goes to prospect there. She opened a plastic shop but I believe that most of her money come from her boyfriend and maybe their relation is not that good now and she needs more money. Only information I could get from now on are lies or half truth. What I believe is that if she becomes rich through prostitution or rich sponsor she would have power and could be threatening, as long as she is poor she will leave me be busy running after men or trying her luck with some businesses.

The story is that she found a rich thai guy 6 months ago and decided to get the great life with him, I left for France with my 2 daughters because I could not live with her knowing she was living with another man during the day and sometimes come to sleep at home at night. I took all my family a week travel to get her back and she said she was going to leave him and we would all go to France but needed time to close everything, clear the house etc. So I let her 60 000 to wait me and to don't prostitute herself, at the airport we cried, cuddled said goodbye and as soon as I left her boyfriend came to the airport and took her with my car and they went to live in my house, <deleted> in my bed and use all my stuff. She brought all her family, brother, mother, niece to live in my house. She let the security camera open, probably intentionally as they make sound and it broke my heart. I spent 2 months in France crying like a baby being horribly depressed. She went to marry him at the temple 1 or 2 month after knowing him, completely illegal but I didn't know anything about the law and thought farangs had no rights. I came back to Thailand and I seduced her, have very romantic times but I was suffering like hell because she was with her boyfriend in same time, she disrespected me on every level, at one point she even came full of the sperm of her boyfriend... The guy is all she didn't like before, smoking 1m60 tall full of tattoo but he promised her a pajero, she said that he was not handsome but a fantastic lover and that she was <deleted> with him everyday several times per day and in every hotel in the region that he made her discover many things etc etc, it was horribly hurtful. Anyway she fell pregnant and after test it was mine, turn out that his sperm was very weak, she made me believe that he didn't care it wasn't his because he had a good heart but shortly after this they had a break up. She was suppose to come back with me but I was slowly getting my mind back and she lost the child, maybe she killed him I don't know. After seeing her showing her ass on tik tok I told her that it would not work between us and that I wanted to stop, she didn't give a <deleted>.

She was blackmailing me about suing me because I had a girlfriend and to take the kids back until I gather evidences and one day told her that I would be the one suing her and after this she changed. We got an agreement that I mention before, now we have to sign it, very stressful but once it's done I'm saved.

I'm playing friend and she became polite since 2 weeks but I'm not sure she is buying it, maybe enough to sign the contract.

Sorry for the long story, there is many other unbelievable things.

 

Your story seems very tough too and there is a lot of similarities and I noticed that also that they are cunning but not smart. She lies a lot, in a same sentence she can say 2 opposite things. She tried to turn my girlfriend against me at the beginning, she asked to call her to speak about my daughters and then spoke only about me for an hour, she told her she bought the land, house and car and started to make many stories with so many different versions that my girlfriend understood immediately with who she was dealing.

As you said they are good at gathering sympathy but only on very shallow relation, once it get deeper people start to understand, especially if there is shared interest.

 

So for how long you were together before to break up? Your son is 6 year old now?

Did you buy a new land and house? new wife?

I'm 43 year old and I try to convince myself that it's not old and I can just redo it all, have a new family, buy a land in my daughter name or maybe just rent a nice house, make a beautiful room for her, find a good school and every week end go on a trip, see the region or travel. Making friend and find new passion would be great.