On The Etiquette of Wais

[JSLit]

Ive been living in Thailand on and off for almost 10 years. I started my journey in Chiang Mai, headed towards the Southern part of Thailand (Rayong, Hat Yai, etc) and spent a few years in BK. Ive never paid much attention to Wai's until the past two years living in the Northeast region. Prior to this, I just give my usual Wais to people close to my age range or older without much care. When it was given Id return it. Whenever I was with my mates they did so as well.

 

Im not sure if its a regional thing but Ive noticed a drop off being in the Northeast. No biggie. About a week ago a few of the local beauty pageant contestants when to dine where we were for a photo opp. It was my wife, myself and my mate. One of the contestants gave the Wai to my wife while I was eating. According to my mate, he gave one to her a second after my wife and claimed that he didnt get a return Wai back. He was a bit upset and I told him to chill since the beauty contestants looked nervous and it wasnt there focus. Also I told him sometimes people give Wais to a group than individual.

 

He then scolded me and told me it was rude since he was an older man, bla bla bla. I came here to the forums here to make it clear on this issue.

 

The only thing I notice is that in other regions in Thailand it was quite common whereas in BK and the Northeast it was the least. Also I tend to break the rules, like if a waiter or a maid Wai's at me Ill return it back. 

[Upnotover]

The only old men I see regularly wai'ing young attractive girls is in go-go's., and very foolish they look.  She probably thought he was being inappropriate and responded accordingly.

[BritManToo]

26 minutes ago, JSLit said:

The only thing I notice is that in other regions in Thailand it was quite common whereas in BK and the Northeast it was the least. Also I tend to break the rules, like if a waiter or a maid Wai's at me Ill return it back. 

Don't wai anyone, you aren't a serf or a lord.

[JSLit]

6 minutes ago, Upnotover said:

The only old men I see regularly wai'ing young attractive girls is in go-go's., and very foolish they look.  She probably thought he was being inappropriate and responded accordingly.

LOL. Dont know he he looked at them and just going by him saying he gave a simple Wai

[JSLit]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Don't wai anyone, you aren't a serf or a lord.

Usually I keep it only to older people like friends/family that I dont see quite often.

[OneMoreFarang]

43 minutes ago, JSLit said:

gave the Wai

As far as I know there are many versions of a Wai. And if you do it the wrong way (for that occasion) then it's not good.

 

Just two example:

 

 

 

 

[josephbloggs]

22 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Don't wai anyone, you aren't a serf or a lord.

Yeah!! And if someone puts their hand out don't shake it, just leave them hanging. And if someone says "hello" to you under no circumstances should you say hello back.

What an attitude.....

[JSLit]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

As far as I know there are many versions of a Wai. And if you do it the wrong way (for that occasion) then it's not good.

 

Just two example:

 

 

 

 

The second pic looks like how he does it most of the time and the more I think about it, perhaps a bit lower. Cant wait to show him the thread here ????

[BritManToo]

22 minutes ago, JSLit said:

Usually I keep it only to older people like friends/family that I dont see quite often.

I'm the oldest, most educated and richest person I ever meet in Thailand.

So, by their own rules, they should always wai me.

[OneMoreFarang]

11 minutes ago, JSLit said:

The second pic looks like how he does it most of the time and the more I think about it, perhaps a bit lower. Cant wait to show him the thread here ????

My point was/is that there is no correct way to do that in general. There is a way to wai the older boss and there is another way to wai someone younger and another way to wai a monk. And some more.

I guess it depends on the receiver how serious they look at this.

[Kwasaki]

7 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'm the oldest, most educated and richest person I ever meet in Thailand.

So, by their own rules, they should always wai me.

I'm the oldest in family don't wai anyone and in my presence they crawl around on the floor. 

[JSLit]

What I told my mate was to generally dont give Wais to younger people first especially when its that obvious of difference of age. My guess is that she was caught off guard from nerves and who knows, it may have been a group thing (though I think Wais are 1 on 1)

 

I personally didnt Wai back even if I did see it since I view these beauty pageant girls as kids even if they are 19 years old. 

 

 

 

[PJ71]

52 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Don't wai anyone, you aren't a serf or a lord.

I agree, farangs look stupid when the wai.

 

 

[JSLit]

19 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'm the oldest, most educated and richest person I ever meet in Thailand.

So, by their own rules, they should always wai me.

????

[SuperSilverHaze]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with returning the wai of a child and even service staff. You just shouldn't initiate either. With staff it's ok to not always wai but you should acknowledge (must)

 

We are foreigners don't sweat the small stuff. Trying is 90%

[SuperSilverHaze]

6 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

I agree, farangs look stupid when the wai.

 

 

But they look even more stupid when they don't.

[PJ71]

Just now, SuperSilverHaze said:

But they look even more stupid when they don't.

Really?

[josephbloggs]

8 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

I agree, farangs look stupid when the wai.

 

 

No they don't. Understand why you are doing it and it is a nice thing. Foreigners who just go around randomly wai'ing bus drivers, people in the street, random strangers, may look odd but generally they will be seen as cute even if they are completely wrong - at least they are making an effort and that is always appreciated in any culture.

People who refuse to return a wai are simply rude - just as it would be if you refused a handshake., If you don't understand that then maybe just stick to your own kind (which, judging by the tone of your post, I am sure you do anyway).

[SuperSilverHaze]

47 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

As far as I know there are many versions of a Wai. And if you do it the wrong way (for that occasion) then it's not good.

 

Just two example:

 

 

 

 

Imo a foreigner shoud never wai as the top photo shows. It's very correct but for an old, farang man it shows too much beta.

 

That's the kinda of wai that goes to a parent upon seeing them after six months away.

 

The bottom is not really a wai.

 

 

If you are shy get in front of a mirror and wai 30 times a day for a week. You'll feel much better about it

 

About the only person you really must wai are your spouse's parents and if working you should know how to properly wai your boss.

 

You should return almost everyone's wai.

Edited February 19, 2023 by SuperSilverHaze

[SuperSilverHaze]

6 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

Really?

Absolutely.

[PJ71]

Just now, SuperSilverHaze said:

Absolutely.

Do you salute a soldier when you see them?

[SuperSilverHaze]

2 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

Do you salute a soldier when you see them?

Not even close to being the same. And yes, if I were a soldier I'd expect I'd salute back.

 

Cultural ignoramus. Lost. Some just not cut out to even leave the pub back home... Sadly

Edited February 19, 2023 by SuperSilverHaze

[PJ71]

3 minutes ago, josephbloggs said:

No they don't.

yes they do.

 

4 minutes ago, josephbloggs said:

If you don't understand that then maybe just stick to your own kind

How very patronising......

 

I do not need to or do i care to understand how it all works. Having lived here for more than 24years and speaking the language it has no impact on my life if i Wai or not.

 

Next pls...

[PJ71]

Just now, SuperSilverHaze said:

Not even close to being the same. And yes, if I were a soldier I'd expect I'd salute back.

 

Cultural ignoramus. Lost.

so resorting to insults now - showing your true colours ????

[SuperSilverHaze]

1 minute ago, PJ71 said:

yes they do.

 

How very patronising......

 

I do not need to or do i care to understand how it all works. Having lived here for more than 24years and speaking the language it has no impact on my life if i Wai or not.

 

Next pls...

That you are aware of...

 

No, Thais are masters of toleration

[SuperSilverHaze]

1 minute ago, PJ71 said:

so resorting to insults now - showing your true colours ????

You're just trolling and gave been for some time

[Kwasaki]

5 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

Do you salute a soldier when you see them?

Well a lot of the ex-SAS on bar stools do. ????

[PJ71]

5 minutes ago, SuperSilverHaze said:

No, Thais are masters of toleration

What, do you mean like when they're on the roads and the incredible patience they have?

 

Comedy gold sunshine....

[NanLaew]

So the OP's mate, who I assume is a farang, got upset when his wai wasn't acknowldeged and reciprocated?

 

Maybe best to just avoid this cultural assimilation nonsense. It's a big old nothing burger.

[Dmaxdan]

28 minutes ago, PJ71 said:

Really?

Yes really! Because to not wai back would be rude, ignorant and disrespectful.