I pay for something and the cashier hands the change back to my wife?

[Lucky Bones]

19 minutes ago, radiochaser said:

After going to Thailand several times and going out to eat etc, I grew tired of not being included in the conversations, because of my limited Thai language skills.   I know enough to live here, but not enough to have an adult conversation.

I finally told my wife I was not going out with her and her friends because of this.  After she understood, I was left behind to fend for myself.   Makes my time in Thailand a lot more enjoyable.  

Go out with them and enjoy the view unless you have SS arranged.

A veritable smorgasbord of beauties to feast your eyes upon, no matter where you are.

Time will soon pass.????????

[Neeranam]

26 minutes ago, BobBKK said:

I understood it was quite normal for Thai men to hand over their pay packet to the wife who manages the home economy. After that it becomes habit I think and almost a courtesy to the wife. 

Its an Asian thing

[radiochaser]

Just now, Lucky Bones said:

Go out with them and enjoy the view unless you have SS arranged.

A veritable smorgasbord of beauties to feast your eyes upon, no matter where you are.

Time will soon pass.????????

I don't know what you mean by "SS arranged".    But I did write, "Makes my time in Thailand a lot more enjoyable.  "  

I go to different places than the ones that my wife and her relative/friends go to.  So the view is more pleasant.   My wife knows and understands.    My wife and I were in a mall here in the U.S. with a friend from work, an American woman.   Her friend saw me looking at some good looking Asian women as they walked by. 

As if I couldn't hear her, she asked my wife, don't you get upset when your husband looks at other women?  My wife said, no, he's a man.  That's what men do!

One problem with going out with the wife and friends is, usually it is to a restaurant, and they have a big feast.   I don't eat much in one sitting.  So I finish eating in about 15 minutes and then wait an hour or more in a restaurant as everyone else finishes. 

[Fat is a type of crazy]

14 minutes ago, radiochaser said:

I don't know what you mean by "SS arranged".    But I did write, "Makes my time in Thailand a lot more enjoyable.  "  

I go to different places than the ones that my wife and her relative/friends go to.  So the view is more pleasant.   My wife knows and understands.    My wife and I were in a mall here in the U.S. with a friend from work, an American woman.   Her friend saw me looking at some good looking Asian women as they walked by. 

As if I couldn't hear her, she asked my wife, don't you get upset when your husband looks at other women?  My wife said, no, he's a man.  That's what men do!

One problem with going out with the wife and friends is, usually it is to a restaurant, and they have a big feast.   I don't eat much in one sitting.  So I finish eating in about 15 minutes and then wait an hour or more in a restaurant as everyone else finishes. 

If you are out with your wife and her friends don't look at other girls. No one would like it. Embarrassing for your wife and her friends.  Bizarre. 

[Lucky Bones]

13 minutes ago, radiochaser said:

I don't know what you mean by "SS arranged".    But I did write, "Makes my time in Thailand a lot more enjoyable.  "  

I go to different places than the ones that my wife and her relative/friends go to.  So the view is more pleasant.   My wife knows and understands.    My wife and I were in a mall here in the U.S. with a friend from work, an American woman.   Her friend saw me looking at some good looking Asian women as they walked by. 

As if I couldn't hear her, she asked my wife, don't you get upset when your husband looks at other women?  My wife said, no, he's a man.  That's what men do!

One problem with going out with the wife and friends is, usually it is to a restaurant, and they have a big feast.   I don't eat much in one sitting.  So I finish eating in about 15 minutes and then wait an hour or more in a restaurant as everyone else finishes. 

Maybe your wife is angry that you get bored/angry at restaurants?

Observe body language of others, quite often you can learn more than spoken words.

And.....let the wife receive the change, arrange the tip and keep the left-overs.????????

[bkk6060]

I don't think females should ever control the money.  Seems very weak to me for a man to allow this unless one is so stupid he cannot figure it out.  Money control creates power.  Too much of this weak male syndrome going on here I would correct the cashiers and tell them that is my change.

Edited March 1, 2023 by bkk6060

[Cricky]

7 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

cashier hands the change back to my wife

Is there a general 'clean out the farang

Oh dear, here they come, all the Thai bashes will come out of the woodwork. ????

[alex8912]

48 minutes ago, radiochaser said:

The airlines you use charges you so you can select the seats you want?? 
What airlines are those.   The airlines I fly on let me choose the seats without any additional charges.

You don't fly very much these days.

[bbbbooboo]

Hmmm…..Is there a general 'clean out the farang' agreement across the nation? The answer would be a definite yes?

[bbbbooboo]

13 minutes ago, Cricky said:

Oh dear, here they come, all the Thai bashes will come out of the woodwork. ????

Could you please  address us correctly please. We are Thai bashers not bashes

[ed strong]

So you pay and then they give the money back to someone else!?

 

It's insulting and regardless of the amount, i wouldn't accept this and tbh i have never ever seen it happen or happen to me. You are being mugged off and don't have the balls to do anything about it and that exactly why you find yourself in this situation in the fist place. Thai people might not be the most intelligent but reading body language is something that they excel at.

 

If the Thai women controlled the money then she would be paying for it in the first place, to then give the change back to them is rather demeaning, especially if its just coins. Kind of like pocket money for your kid.

 

This is part of the problem of being with a Thai women, the majority of the Thai people do not respect the situation you are in and therefore it's unlikely you feel a real part of the community. Sure it might be better than being in the US or UK however its certainly not ideal. I see it every day on my travels, better to accept and come to terms with the situation that you are in.

[Kalasin Jo]

I agree with you. I don't much like it.  As if you don't exist although the bill was given to you and you put the money in. But happens all the time. Same at meetings with immigration, banks or indeed anywhere if you take Thai wife, girlfriend. It may be all about you but still they talk to the lady in Thai  and hardly even look at you. So now unless absolutely essential I don't take the wife to meetings and if there is a language disconnect I produce my phone and use translate. Takes time but at least you know what's being said,whether you agree, can ask questions and get answers.

[zzaa09]

And many still haven't worked out that you're non entities.....in some eyes. ????

Yet, not the standard in some instances where a handful have integrated/acclimated [long-timers] are not looked upon in this manner. 

 

The good Thais have this sense about who's who and whose not. 

Body language, and other things, tell them a lot. 

????

[asf6]

15 minutes ago, zzaa09 said:

Yet, not the standard in some instances where a handful have integrated/acclimated [long-timers] are not looked upon in this manner. 

 

The good Thais have this sense about who's who and whose not. 

Body language, and other things, tell them a lot. 

????

I think that's probably right for many cases. Some foreigners look and act like newbies here, so why would the Thai person try to speak Thai to someone who can't speak Thai when a native Thai speaker is standing next to them? Especially so if the Thai person can't speak English /French /German /Spanish/ Greek/ whatever foreign language.

 

Not so sure about handing the money back though, unless their Thai wife is sitting or standing closer to the cashier or waitress. I've never encountered that myself. I must be one of the lucky ones. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by asf6

[Dogmatix]

That kind of thing seems normal. Sometimes I get annoyed when I ask a question in Thai and they ignore me and start talking to me wife. Sometimes she tells them to talk to me because i am the one who asked the question and she doesn't know what I want.

[MadMuhammad]

7 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Whatever the faults of my Thai wife, she earned her own money, paid for her own diesel ( unless it was on a trip with me that I wanted to go on ), etc. She even paid for her own booze at a restaurant. I paid for the food and my drink, but I refused to pay for her alcohol.

She worked really hard too, so no complaints about expecting me to pay for everything. Her family were the ones that expected me to give them money for nothing.

My wife is similar. Doesn’t drink or smoke but all family money needs and issues stop at her, I’m fully insulated. Makes for an enjoyable and relaxed life here 
 

[grain]

1 hour ago, Dogmatix said:

That kind of thing seems normal. Sometimes I get annoyed when I ask a question in Thai and they ignore me and start talking to me wife. Sometimes she tells them to talk to me because i am the one who asked the question and she doesn't know what I want.

"and she doesn't know what I want." And that is the key part of it. We ask the questions because we need the information, 9 times out of 10 our wives or GFs don't know what we're asking about, or have no interest, and if they act as unwilling translators we get the info second hand and often mangled. 

[sikishrory]

I used to just give her the wallet.

Saved me pulling it out all the time or feeling like an ATM on legs.

Also solves your problem.

Don't try to understand it because there is no logic to be found. 

[SenorTashi]

4 hours ago, jimn said:

Come on elighten us, who are you?

What possible difference does it make?

[SenorTashi]

4 hours ago, Lucky Bones said:

Several years in various (differently cultured) countries = Thailand novice.

I'm still learning new things every day, (without being offended), after 10 years.

Keep at it.????????

There are some incredibly immature people in this forum, who seem to believe that they are superior beings because they've been in the country longer than me and have made more posts than me here. Jesus christ guys, grow up <deleted>.

 

I can't even be bothered to reply to any more of this <deleted>.

Thanks to the people who responded with similar stories or to the ones who explained that it's a cultural thing. The rest of you can go <deleted> yourselves with a blunt object. 

[misterphil]

This is normal for us too as I cant be bothered with carrying coins and 20THB notes about. I only carry 1,000 and 500THB notes, anything less goes in the wife's pocket. 

[manolothai]

Never happened to me. Maybe once because my hands were full

Edited March 1, 2023 by manolothai

[Isaan sailor]

That’s nothing.  Whenever I pull my Ranger up to a PTT station for a fill up, I say to the attendant in my clearest Thai, “Dem tang—B7”.  He/she then looks over at the wife, who repeats, “Dem tang—B7”.  Only then, will the diesel flow.

[BE88]

10 hours ago, Hanaguma said:

Same situation in Japan.  But to be fair, women in Japan generally control the money anyway. When  I see regular (J and J) couples, 95% of the time the woman pays for the shopping, restaurant bill, Etc.

Normal, throughout Asia is the woman who administers the house.

This is a subject of conflict with many 'farangs who do not realize they are in Asia.

 

 

[rose33]

11 hours ago, grain said:

Happened to me countless times too, it's the Thai Rak Thai thing. I noticed it immediately when I arrive at the airport 2 weeks ago, I asked a question to a woman at a counter in the airport, my Thai wife was standing behind me, the woman at the counter totally ignored me and began talking to my wife. 

Thai Rak Thai goes deep... Here's  the 

ratthaniyom Number 2 (attached) from 1939. It's worthwhile for every farang to know about this.  

 

[asf6]

^ Given the date, perhaps the foreigners they had in mind were Japanese. 

[DJ54]

OP… No worries the cashier is being efficient… cutting out the middle man ….

[rose33]

It was the nation-building movement to create cohesive, modern, constitutional Thailand. Centralisation of political power in Bangkok under the (then) new parliamentary system. 

 

A very interesting question is whether their particular law is still on the books. I haven't been able to find an answer to that, so far. 

[rose33]

4 hours ago, bbbbooboo said:

Could you please  address us correctly please. We are Thai bashers not bashes

???? There is also a category of farang we could rightly describe as Thai Apologists...

[rose33]

Just now, rose33 said:

???? There is also a category of farang we could rightly describe as Thai Apologists...

Or we could call it Stockholm Syndrome ;-)