I pay for something and the cashier hands the change back to my wife?

[BangkokReady]

11 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Indeed it's no problem except to people that can't accept they are not living back home.

Or who might like to be treated with a little respect...

[observer90210]

No need to get the western ego's aroused.

 

Mainly a matter of politeness and etiquette.

 

A thai lady in the service industry, when faced with a couple, will only engage with the female in the couple.

 

Instead of getting all those ego's aroused, I would tend to observe the girls reaction when faced with an all thai couple.

 

 

[BangkokReady]

5 hours ago, Cricky said:

Oh dear, here they come, all the Thai bashes will come out of the woodwork. ????

Oh yes.  "Thai bashers."  Or to use their full title "anyone who says anything even slightly negative about Thailand or Thai people, no matter how true".

 

????

[BananaStrong]

plot twist:
 

the cashier knows the wife.  

[Ohyesuare]

Change goes to the wife and the restaurant bill always to the "falang". Just the way things are here, doesn't bother me to be honest. 

[proton]

13 hours ago, Grumpy one said:

The shop assistants understand who the boss is

My boss always tells them to give the change to me

[Speedhump]

12 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It also happens to me from time to time. I suspect that Thai prefer to interact with other Thais because they use the same language, body language, etc. It's more familiar to them and more comfortable. 

No problem.

 

I'm sorry to say there IS a problem with cutting farang dead when the interaction clearly involves them. If I have to spell it out then that's a problem too. I'd say it crosses the line from rudeness into racism. 'Comfort zones' have nothing to do with this. 

[asf6]

38 minutes ago, Ohyesuare said:

Change goes to the wife and the restaurant bill always to the "falang". Just the way things are here, doesn't bother me to be honest. 

In my experience, the restaurant bill goes to the one who reaches for it. In my family, sometimes it is me, sometimes it's my wife, and sometimes it's an in-law. But if there is a Mr, Ms or Mrs Big in our company, they will usually pay it. Occasionally, if there are lots of us eating and the bill is quite large, several of us will contribute to paying the bill. 

Edited March 1, 2023 by asf6

[OneMoreFarang]

19 minutes ago, Speedhump said:

cutting farang dead

Wow, is that a new term?

Will we all bleed to death when the waiter tries to return the change to the missus?

[misterphil]

9 hours ago, Dogmatix said:

That kind of thing seems normal. Sometimes I get annoyed when I ask a question in Thai and they ignore me and start talking to me wife. Sometimes she tells them to talk to me because i am the one who asked the question and she doesn't know what I want.

The same here. They look at my wife and give it the old "arai na" ????

Edited March 1, 2023 by misterphil

[JensenZ]

18 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

I told her to stop taking advantage of foreigners and pay her own bloody bills. They were expecting me to fill the car up with petrol even though I cycle everywhere. 

 

The other question I had for you guys is, has anyone ever heard the expression 'don't worry, farang pay?' because she said that to me one night after a meal her brother in law had just paid for and tons of food got wasted.

I said, 'you do realise who you're talking to don't you?' 

I don't care if they want to talk to my wife or hand her the change, but ordering more food than they need and wasting it p*sses me off big time. I don't like seeing any food wasted. If I was there, I'd ask to take away the leftovers. Too bad if that embarrasses them - they will learn for next time.

[still kicking]

3 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

I don't care if they want to talk to my wife or hand her the change, but ordering more food than they need and wasting it p*sses me off big time. I don't like seeing any food wasted. If I was there, I'd ask to take away the leftovers. Too bad if that embarrasses them - they will learn for next time.

Yes, I don't like food being wasted well I am not in LOS anymore I am in the west now, but we always take leftovers home. 

[JensenZ]

9 minutes ago, still kicking said:

Yes, I don't like food being wasted well I am not in LOS anymore I am in the west now, but we always take leftovers home. 

They have this attitude that if they order a lot of food and leave a lot behind, they are perceived as a higher class (or rich). They can afford to waste as much as they want. What's more, I had a British friend who was married to a Thai woman. He used to take his wife, family, and friends out to dinner, and they would leave a huge amount of food uneaten... much of it untouched. He would have it bagged up and put in the refrigerator at home (much to his wife's disgust), and no one would eat it, even the maid... and eventually it would go to the dogs.

Edited March 1, 2023 by JensenZ

[still kicking]

3 minutes ago, JensenZ said:

They have this attitude that if they order a lot of food and leave a lot behind, they are perceived as a higher class (or rich). They can afford to waste as much as they want. What's more, I had a British friend who was married to a Thai woman. He used to take his wife, family, and friends out to dinner, and they would leave a huge amount of food uneaten... much of it untouched. He would have it bagged up and put in the refrigerator at home (much to his wife's disgust), and no one would eat it, even the maid... and eventually it would go to the dogs.

Shocking 

[Speedhump]

9 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Wow, is that a new term?

Will we all bleed to death when the waiter tries to return the change to the missus?

You're quite literal aren't you? ????

To cut someone dead in English means to pointedly ignore them. 

[zzaa09]

11 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Or who might like to be treated with a little respect...

Which has to be earned.

Doesn't appear there's to much effort being put forth to gather such respect.

[Negita43]

It amazes me how a light hearted post can descend into a slanging match between so called "Thai Bashers" and "Thai Apologists" and personal attacks on posters. It seems people have lost their sense of humour and replaced it with a sense of anger.

[Cricky]

21 minutes ago, Negita43 said:

It amazes me how a light hearted post can descend into a slanging match between so called "Thai Bashers" and "Thai Apologists" and personal attacks on posters. It seems people have lost their sense of humour and replaced it with a sense of anger.

Sadly, some members are so miserable and horrible, they are always whinging and whining, their humour becomes nasty. 

[BangkokReady]

2 hours ago, zzaa09 said:

Which has to be earned.

When you go into a store? You expect to earn the cashier's respect?

 

You probably imagine that as you leave the 7/11 the cashier says to themselves "damn, he's one of the good farangs, he has earnt my deepest respect".

 

I guess this is your brain on Thai apologism.

 

2 hours ago, zzaa09 said:

Doesn't appear there's to much effort being put forth to gather such respect.

You don't know the first thing about it.

 

Are you seriously suggesting that the OP must have behaved in a negative way during their short visit to the store and this meant the Thai cashier was deciding to give the change to the girlfriend because the foreigner had failed to earn their respect while the Thai girlfriend had?

 

Take a moment and just think about what kind of a crazy story your mind is concocting just to make it so that the Thai person is in the right. And perhaps think about why it is doing that.

[IndomitableSpirit]

1 hour ago, Cricky said:

Sadly, some members are so miserable and horrible, they are always whinging and whining, their humour becomes nasty. 

I'm curious as how old are the posters/members here in ASEAN? I'm not sure if I join in the right forum being a millennial.????????‍♀️

[Cricky]

16 hours ago, IndomitableSpirit said:

I'm curious as how old are the posters/members here in ASEAN? I'm not sure if I join in the right forum being a millennial.????????‍♀️

You never know the members age, every member is incognito. 

 

Age has nothing to do with being a member, it's about being courteous, polite, common sense, factual, and never be rude or hostile in replies. 

We all have an opinion and we are free to voice our opinions with the above in place. 

It's the members that feel that their opinions are more important than those of others, the disrespectful replies that are concerning. 

 

The demographic I feel is mostly elderly British. 

 

At times I'm sure I get my comments removed because I'm not in the demographic, my opinions are different from most, sadly the whiners complain and my comments disappear. 

Edited March 2, 2023 by Scott

[Neeranam]

8 hours ago, JensenZ said:

They have this attitude that if they order a lot of food and leave a lot behind, they are perceived as a higher class (or rich). They can afford to waste as much as they want. What's more, I had a British friend who was married to a Thai woman. He used to take his wife, family, and friends out to dinner, and they would leave a huge amount of food uneaten... much of it untouched. He would have it bagged up and put in the refrigerator at home (much to his wife's disgust), and no one would eat it, even the maid... and eventually it would go to the dogs.

It's called a 'doggy bag' and the few Thai Hi-Sos I know ask for one. 

My kids' Godmother, who owns a luxury hotel in Hua Hin, even asked here own staff for a doggy bag the other day, and lets dogs stay there.

In my experience, it's the peasant women, who marry farang that enjoy, rightfully so, to order more than they need.

[Neeranam]

1 hour ago, BangkokReady said:

Take a moment and just think about what kind of a crazy story your mind is concocting just to make it so that the Thai person is in the right. And perhaps think about why it is doing that.

I think many farang feel 'less than' when they live here, possibly due to not understanding the culture, or not speaking the language. When the ego feels threatened, it lashes out, and concocts all kinds of insane stories to not feel less than.

Edited March 2, 2023 by Neeranam

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

In my experience, it's the peasant women, who marry farang that enjoy, rightfully so, to order more than they need.

I give my woman 1,000bht and tell her she can keep any change, but pays any excess herself. 

[Neeranam]

14 hours ago, observer90210 said:

Mainly a matter of politeness and etiquette.

What many farang don't want to address is that most Thais don't like us and don't want to deal with us unless a necessity.

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, Neeranam said:

What many farang don't want to address is that most Thais don't like us and don't want to deal with us unless a necessity.

Why would I care how my serving/wait staff (and other serfs) view me?

[kingstonkid]

On 3/1/2023 at 8:23 AM, grain said:

Happened to me countless times too, it's the Thai Rak Thai thing. I noticed it immediately when I arrive at the airport 2 weeks ago, I asked a question to a woman at a counter in the airport, my Thai wife was standing behind me, the woman at the counter totally ignored me and began talking to my wife. 

???? I used to get <deleted> then realized that it is lack of comfort talking English.  

 

Try walking through the mall and watch them approach your gf.  Mine has realized that when she is with me they leave her alone ????

 

Is there anything you can do about it.

 

I just give her the money to pay then hold out my hand to her for change.

[Negita43]

3 hours ago, IndomitableSpirit said:

I'm curious as how old are the posters/members here in ASEAN? I'm not sure if I join in the right forum being a millennial

Age is a number - Maturity is a state of mind.

[Negita43]

17 hours ago, observer90210 said:

No need to get the western ego's aroused.

Problem Solved - pay with your credit card????!

[Negita43]

18 hours ago, BangkokReady said:

Oh yes.  "Thai bashers."  Or to use their full title "anyone who says anything even slightly negative about Thailand or Thai people, no matter how true".

Now there's a word to play with - "true" - who decides what is true or not. What is "true" in one culture may not be in another.