You can take the girl out of the bar, but can you take the bar out of the girl?

[BritManToo]

15 hours ago, NanLaew said:

Sticking with the 'Bond' theme, there's the comment that it's OK when a man turns 60 because he ends up looking like Sean Connery whereas when a woman turns 60, she ends up looking like Sean Connery.

Usually they end up looking like Oliver Hardy.

[jmccarty]

On 4/5/2023 at 1:48 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I have a good friend who enjoyed the bars for many years while he was single. Then later he married a good girl to settle down and have a quiet life about 6 days a week. And he still goes regularly to the bars to have fun. Until now it works, and it seems his wife decided it's better not to ask too many questions. 

Same - professional guy, great Thai wife with some bar background, they get on like a house on fire with what seems to be no discussion about where he goes on his night out.  Makes me think I should send my wife to work in the bar for a while.

[Seagull Sam]

On 4/5/2023 at 1:46 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems many good girls and women who have little to no knowledge about farangs think they want to be in such a relationship with a rich foreigner. Until the moment they are and realize it is not what their fantasy was about. 

Good point well made from the girl's point of view. A fat boozy old bloke old enough to be her father isn't exactly Prince Charming. After all they started working in the bar to keep their family didn't they? Now the reality hits home.

For the falang it comes as a shock to find he has a poor village girl and mother on his arm living in a hut and eating ants. Didn't she look so beautiful made up and in those heels?

If you go back home for any length of time she gets bored and restless and longs for her chums in the bar again. I have had two salaried gfs, one simply went back to the bar got involved in crystal meth and violently attacked me by kicking me in the head. (I'm 62 with a brain injury). The other appeared to be borderline alcoholic.

Bar girls are a young(er) or butterfly man's game. Good luck to you all, despite the volume of unattched young women, its not the easy pickings it looks like.

[Hummin]

45 minutes ago, Seagull Sam said:

Good point well made from the girl's point of view. A fat boozy old bloke old enough to be her father isn't exactly Prince Charming. After all they started working in the bar to keep their family didn't they? Now the reality hits home.

For the falang it comes as a shock to find he has a poor village girl and mother on his arm living in a hut and eating ants. Didn't she look so beautiful made up and in those heels?

If you go back home for any length of time she gets bored and restless and longs for her chums in the bar again. I have had two salaried gfs, one simply went back to the bar got involved in crystal meth and violently attacked me by kicking me in the head. (I'm 62 with a brain injury). The other appeared to be borderline alcoholic.

Bar girls are a young(er) or butterfly man's game. Good luck to you all, despite the volume of unattched young women, its not the easy pickings it looks like.

Many westerns who come to thailand first time, seems to be stuck with first girl they meet in the bar or one of the first meetings, so what to expect? 

 

I would say, if you use your brain and your gut, there is many signs a girl is no good, even she is trying hard to convince you she is not like that. 

 

One to look out for, who constantly saying Im not like that, and love to tell what everyone else in the bar doing, but she is not. Most likely what she does.

 

I do not understand what people thinking when picking girls from the bars, and expecting to have found gold after a few meetings and a few holidays, it takes years living together to find out if you two fit together and can live happy together, and it is not just up to her. For a girl bringing her future husband back to the village, it is a culture crash, where we foreigners do alot of mistakes, living with them in tourist areas without their family, many of them get bored and lonely and hard to get friends outside the bar environment which is also toxic, and last bring them to your home country? Well good luck, their image of rich westerns fade quickly, since they only seen the sunshine pictures and stories from their friends on social media, far away from the reality.

 

You need strong bonds with your gf to succeed, and that takes some work from both of you.

 

If you are not sure, you are sure!

 

Last but maybe most important, if they have children, they make sure you bond with their child, and thats where many men become trapped, and start making excuses for not leaving a toxic woman. 

[OneMoreFarang]

45 minutes ago, jmccarty said:

Same - professional guy, great Thai wife with some bar background, they get on like a house on fire with what seems to be no discussion about where he goes on his night out.  Makes me think I should send my wife to work in the bar for a while.

I think many "normal" women don't understand the part that many guys just want to have sex with some (other) girls from time to time. Hello darling, let's go, do it, bye bye. If he ever asked for her name likely he doesn't remember it an hour later. BGs understand that concept and they understand that does not challenge their relationship - most of the time. 

[ed strong]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

You must be fun to be around

Thanks for that

[chalawaan]

Yes. Any sensible woman would leave it all behind.

But many are broken humans long before they get on the bus headed south. 

[Reginald Prewster]

My wife has 3 Sisters who cared about themselves.

 

One was a full size Bar girl for many years.

Is happy married since 17 years and is now mother of 2..

It can work out..

 

If the farang is a pi**head or barfly, well, it might not... actually nowhere in the world, would it? 

[chalawaan]

On 4/5/2023 at 1:48 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

I have a good friend who enjoyed the bars for many years while he was single. Then later he married a good girl to settle down and have a quiet life about 6 days a week. And he still goes regularly to the bars to have fun. Until now it works, and it seems his wife decided it's better not to ask too many questions. 

Your "friend" seems to rely on you quite a lot to seek advice and share his stories on here, we've noticed. ????

[Hummin]

15 minutes ago, chalawaan said:

Your "friend" seems to rely on you quite a lot to seek advice and share his stories on here, we've noticed. ????

Sharing personal experiences is suicide on this forum, havent you noticed ? ????

[transam]

2 hours ago, Seagull Sam said:

Good point well made from the girl's point of view. A fat boozy old bloke old enough to be her father isn't exactly Prince Charming. After all they started working in the bar to keep their family didn't they? Now the reality hits home.

For the falang it comes as a shock to find he has a poor village girl and mother on his arm living in a hut and eating ants. Didn't she look so beautiful made up and in those heels?

If you go back home for any length of time she gets bored and restless and longs for her chums in the bar again. I have had two salaried gfs, one simply went back to the bar got involved in crystal meth and violently attacked me by kicking me in the head. (I'm 62 with a brain injury). The other appeared to be borderline alcoholic.

Bar girls are a young(er) or butterfly man's game. Good luck to you all, despite the volume of unattched young women, its not the easy pickings it looks like.

You do pick 'em, don't you...................

[save the frogs]

I got some philosophical wisdom from a middle-aged Thai masseuse as to why relationships in Thailand don't work out.

1 - Thai woman good / Farang bad

OR

2 - Thai woman bad / Farang good

 

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

I got some philosophical wisdom from a middle-aged Thai masseuse as to why relationships in Thailand don't work out.

1 - Thai woman good / Farang bad

OR

2 - Thai woman bad / Farang good

 

I think they ment falang tupid, thats the common thing whatever you complain about in Thailand. 

[nauseus]

You can get the girl out of the bar, but can she make you leave too? ????

[OneMoreFarang]

32 minutes ago, chalawaan said:

Your "friend" seems to rely on you quite a lot to seek advice and share his stories on here, we've noticed. ????

Really?

Did I ask for any advice about his interactions with girls?

And did I ask about any advice in the other tread where I mentioned him?

And yes, it's the same guy. 

 

In general, I am not too shy to write about myself, even if others don't like it - see earlier in this thread. 

[thaibeachlovers]

On 4/9/2023 at 4:56 PM, Hummin said:

I would say you limit your chances to find happiness and comfort based on stupid requirements and specs. 

I learned the hard way not to expect happiness and comfort from other people ( if I want unconditional love I'll get a dog ), so if I was to get involved with one again it'd be to my advantage, not hers.

 

I'm not, nor am I interested in getting involved again, but as with that "not made by Broccoli Bond movie" with Connery, never say never again.

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, Hummin said:

Sharing personal experiences is suicide on this forum, havent you noticed ? ????

I share a lot and I'm still here. Helps to put the nasties on ignore though.

[thaibeachlovers]

22 hours ago, chalawaan said:

Yes. Any sensible woman would leave it all behind.

But many are broken humans long before they get on the bus headed south. 

Perhaps I was lucky but I encountered almost no "broken" bar girls in all my years, and I met a lot in my time. A couple were unpleasant women, but not broken- just unpleasant.

I think because I took my time and wasn't drunk when I chose my companion I escaped a lot of trouble.

 

The only really broken bar girl I observed was a sad girl with multiple piercings.

[thaibeachlovers]

21 hours ago, save the frogs said:

I got some philosophical wisdom from a middle-aged Thai masseuse as to why relationships in Thailand don't work out.

1 - Thai woman good / Farang bad

OR

2 - Thai woman bad / Farang good

 

The best advice I ever got about women was from a female colleague, who told me that just because they were beautiful, it didn't mean they were good people.

[transam]

1 minute ago, thaibeachlovers said:

The best advice I ever got about women was from a female colleague, who told me that just because they were beautiful, it didn't mean they were good people.

I would have thought that was common knowledge.....????

[thaibeachlovers]

1 minute ago, transam said:

I would have thought that was common knowledge.....????

Not to me it wasn't. I didn't know much about women for a long part of my life- boys boarding schools, military, little contact with women. A strange and rather frightening species till I started working with hundreds of nurses, which removed almost all my illusions about them.

[billd766]

On 4/9/2023 at 9:39 AM, rumak said:

Well, probably some of those .   IMO  better than the " we had great sex for the first year... then I lost everything when she changed "  

Even though some here claim to know of "some" relationships that lasted ............. from the ones i see I do not get a great feeling of warmth when observing most that i know.   I think the odd ones that "last forever"  are the vast minority .  

I am not sure if my marriage is lasting forever but I have been married to my Thai wife for 23 years next week and we have known each other for 30 years in May.

 

I am 78 and my wife is 57, and I figure that if she was going to rip me off she would have done it before now. Our son is 18.

 

Many of the guys I worked with and knew through the Bangkok Darts League in the 1990s are still married to their Thai wives also. Some married for longer than me and some for less.

 

The divorce rate is around 10% or less.

 

Some took their wives back to their home country, and others like me moved to Thailand to live. Some in the cities, some in urban areas and some like me, in rural areas.

 

 

[nauseus]

1 hour ago, billd766 said:

I am not sure if my marriage is lasting forever but I have been married to my Thai wife for 23 years next week and we have known each other for 30 years in May.

 

I am 78 and my wife is 57, and I figure that if she was going to rip me off she would have done it before now. Our son is 18.

 

Many of the guys I worked with and knew through the Bangkok Darts League in the 1990s are still married to their Thai wives also. Some married for longer than me and some for less.

 

The divorce rate is around 10% or less.

 

Some took their wives back to their home country, and others like me moved to Thailand to live. Some in the cities, some in urban areas and some like me, in rural areas.

 

 

Well done, Bill.

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

Perhaps I was lucky but I encountered almost no "broken" bar girls in all my years, and I met a lot in my time. A couple were unpleasant women, but not broken- just unpleasant.

I think because I took my time and wasn't drunk when I chose my companion I escaped a lot of trouble.

 

The only really broken bar girl I observed was a sad girl with multiple piercings.

All the bar girls I ever met were less broken than my (former) Brit wife.

[Goat]

2 hours ago, billd766 said:

I am not sure if my marriage is lasting forever but I have been married to my Thai wife for 23 years next week and we have known each other for 30 years in May.

Did you find her working in a bar?

[Goat]

3 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I learned the hard way not to expect happiness and comfort from other people ( if I want unconditional love I'll get a dog

I think that might be illegal?

[rumak]

2 hours ago, billd766 said:

Many of the guys I worked with and knew through the Bangkok Darts League in the 1990s are still married to their Thai wives also. Some married for longer than me and some for less.

Well, sir ........ that certainly goes to prove that the old saying is definitely true .  

"Finding long lasting love is like playing darts :  Hit or Miss !

Ahhhh, but hitting the bullseye is another matter .

[rumak]

46 minutes ago, Goat said:

4 hours ago, thaibeachlovers said:

I learned the hard way not to expect happiness and comfort from other people ( if I want unconditional love I'll get a dog

I think that might be illegal?

Yep,  I've heard of people that can get stuck in such relationships ............

[billd766]

2 hours ago, nauseus said:

Well done, Bill.

Thank you.

 

She is also laundry maid, chief cook and bottle washer, chauffeur and all of the other jobs that I can't do any more. 

[billd766]

1 hour ago, rumak said:

Well, sir ........ that certainly goes to prove that the old saying is definitely true .  

"Finding long lasting love is like playing darts :  Hit or Miss !

Ahhhh, but hitting the bullseye is another matter .

I even managed to hit the triple 20 sometimes. I even made it with 3 darts but not so often.