Social life and dating in Thailand

[NativeBob]

20 hours ago, SomeFarang said:

American guy of European descent

Wow, mystical! 

[JimTripper]

9 minutes ago, Dart12 said:

Unfortunately, a beautiful woman 18 to 30 can just post a single picture on FB or IG or Tik Tok and get 1,000s  if not 1,000's of incoming DM's.

If she' is educated, now she doesn't even have time to answer them.

No need to be on a dating app for them.

However, if they are for example, my gf dating app had almost 8,000 incoming MESSAGES (not answered), no idea how many were clicked before me. 

This isn't "liked by" This is incoming messages.  

Same with random white knights  DMing their best shot.  

Deck is stacked against the male still digitally.

I won't concede it being against us in person though ???? when there is no clutter to break thru.

Were the messages from guys in Thailand, or were they bogus stuff from guys all around the world just wanting to bs or chat?

[Dart12]

5 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Were the messages from guys in Thailand, or were they bogus stuff from guys all around the world just wanting to bs or chat?

Guys all over.  Usually "wow you are so hot/pretty/fill in the blank compliment" kind of beginning banter.

Throw is some penis pics lol, fetish people, rude people (begging and/or demanding meet ups).

I should see if there is a chatgpt app that would syphon all those DM's and organize it into a book to sell online lol.

[spidermike007]

I have an expat friend who lives in Bangkok, and is 15 years older than you. He has to shake the girls off with a stick. Perhaps you need to work on your game. He never uses apps. He meets women on the street, in restaurants, shopping areas, malls, everywhere. Just walks up on them and chats them up. His batting average is high. He is average looking. 

 

Your youth, and good looks should help alot. Work on your shyness and reluctance to approach attractive strangers. It is infinitely easier here than back home. Humor and wit help alot. Most are friendly. Few are cold or nasty. Many are curious and lonely. 

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, spidermike007 said:

I have an expat friend who lives in Bangkok, and is 15 years older than you. He has to shake the girls off with a stick. Perhaps you need to work on your game. He never uses apps. He meets women on the street, in restaurants, shopping areas, malls, everywhere. Just walks up on them and chats them up. His batting average is high. He is average looking. 

 

Your youth, and good looks should help alot. Work on your shyness and reluctance to approach attractive strangers. It is infinitely easier here than back home. Humor and wit help alot. Most are friendly. Few are cold or nasty. Many are curious and lonely. 

For some, getting ladies that easy becomes boring, and you start getting picky, and do not want those easy women. Simple as that

 

Been there done that in Europe, and I found myself believing every woman was a slut after awhile, and not worth my future. However, I did end up with a thai, how ironic 

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, Berkshire said:

I would think you can find one decent female if you were dating 10 a week.  Just remember that you're still the same guy here as back home.  A lot of guys come to Thailand as a "5" and think that they're instantly a "9" or "10" once they arrive.  No, you're still a "5"....on the Thai scale.  So you should be happy with a girl who's also a "5."   

Best I got back home was a 5, out here in SEA I'm having 8s,9s and an occasional 10.

And the ladies here were all considerably cheaper (not to mention smaller) and more loving than my 4s and 5s back home.

Edited June 13, 2023 by BritManToo

[JimTripper]

16 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Best I got back home was a 5, out here in SEA I'm having 8s,9s and an occasional 10.

And the ladies here were all considerably cheaper (not to mention smaller) and more loving than my 4s and 5s back home.

In the USA these days as a single man 50+ you’re lucky to get laid at all unless your an artist or rock star or rich. It’s an anomaly.

 

I went months and/or years without getting laid when I lived in California in an outlying area. It’s easier if your in a big city, but not by much. Even paying for it is difficult. A lot of guys just drive to Tijuana Mexico or go on frequent international trips. That’s how bad it is. Seems to be getting worse over time.

[scubascuba3]

13 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

In the USA these days as a single man 50+ you’re lucky to get laid at all unless your an artist or rock star or rich. It’s an anomaly.

 

I went months and/or years without getting laid when I lived in California in an outlying area. It’s easier if your in a big city, but not by much. Even paying for it is difficult. A lot of guys just drive to Tijuana Mexico or go on frequent international trips. That’s how bad it is. Seems to be getting worse over time.

I'll go further than that, the human race is at risk of dying out with women getting fatter and fatter where men just aren't interested anymore

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

I'll go further than that, the human race is at risk of dying out with women getting fatter and fatter where men just aren't interested anymore

And in some other cultures, men getting more and more stupid, and women do not find men valuable or attractive anymore! 

 

Are you also saying women is more obese than the average man? 

 

Last time I was in Pattaya, I saw far more obese middle age men

 with youngere skinny ladies, than fat ladies with skinny men. 

 

 

[scubascuba3]

Just now, Hummin said:

And in some other cultures, men getting more and more stupid, and women do not find men valuable or attractive anymore! 

 

Are you also saying women is more obese than the average man? 

 

Last time I was in Pattaya, I saw far more obese middle age men

 with youngere skinny ladies, than fat ladies with skinny men. 

 

 

I'm talking about back home, of course in Thailand fat farang will outnumber slim Thais in expat areas

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

I'm talking about back home, of course in Thailand fat farang will outnumber slim Thais in expat areas

Home is quite wide definition for the board. Where I come from, it doesnt match, or any Nordic countries included Finland. Yes more overweighted women, but not outnumber the more fit and healthier ones comparing to mens weight and health. 

 

[JimTripper]

24 minutes ago, scubascuba3 said:

I'll go further than that, the human race is at risk of dying out with women getting fatter and fatter where men just aren't interested anymore

Most men won’t just get “not interested”. They end up taking what’s available at the time. Take prisons for example, the whole shower thing…

[scubascuba3]

14 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Home is quite wide definition for the board. Where I come from, it doesnt match, or any Nordic countries included Finland. Yes more overweighted women, but not outnumber the more fit and healthier ones comparing to mens weight and health. 

 

Scandinavian countries maybe behind other western countries, but people are definitely getting fatter with the junk food western diet. When i went backpacking 1998 i noticed so many girls were chunky, now in UK size 16+ is the average dress size

[scubascuba3]

8 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Most men won’t just get “not interested”. They end up taking what’s available at the time. Take prisons for example, the whole shower thing…

that's maybe your fantasy, personally i lost interest in women back home due to slim girls being so rare

[Celsius]

1 hour ago, Hummin said:

For some, getting ladies that easy becomes boring, and you start getting picky, and do not want those easy women. Simple as that

Yep. I bet his friend lives in Pattaya.....or even worse On Nut

[spidermike007]

2 hours ago, Hummin said:

For some, getting ladies that easy becomes boring, and you start getting picky, and do not want those easy women. Simple as that

 

Been there done that in Europe, and I found myself believing every woman was a slut after awhile, and not worth my future. However, I did end up with a thai, how ironic 

He seems to be anything but bored. At our age, this is just not possible in the US, where we come from. I have friends back there who have not had a date in a very long time. He meets women from all walks of life. Some are top managers in major firms. None are even semi pros. All civilians and money never changes hands. 

 

Granted, he has alot of game, is witty, and has some bling. He is affluent. That helps. 

[spidermike007]

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

In the USA these days as a single man 50+ you’re lucky to get laid at all unless your an artist or rock star or rich. It’s an anomaly.

 

I went months and/or years without getting laid when I lived in California in an outlying area. It’s easier if your in a big city, but not by much. Even paying for it is difficult. A lot of guys just drive to Tijuana Mexico or go on frequent international trips. That’s how bad it is. Seems to be getting worse over time.

Totally agree. In Los Angeles it is nearly impossible for most of my friends. Some are good looking, have game and are successful. It has degenerated over the years, and since covid and Me Too, it is far worse. My heart goes out to the poor single men in America. It is a hellhole for most single men. 

 

Like you said, if you are in your 20s or 30s, are a very handsome surfer type, you are famous, or a centimillionaire, it helps alot. 

Edited June 13, 2023 by spidermike007

[Hummin]

7 minutes ago, spidermike007 said:

He seems to be anything but bored. At our age, this is just not possible in the US, where we come from. I have friends back there who have not had a date in a very long time. He meets women from all walks of life. Some are top managers in major firms. None are even semi pros. All civilians and money never changes hands. 

 

Granted, he has alot of game, is witty, and has some bling. He is affluent. That helps. 

I do not know about other countries, and for sure not California, but 7 years ago, I had quite a few Norwegians attracted to me ranging from 33 up to 50 years when I was single between 44 - 47. All it takes to seem a bit interesting, but to be true, I always had easy to find women no matter where I was in the world, and we are not talking about exchange of money or even high social status work either. I have been living for sports, outdoors and engineering work offshore. Im not even in my own eyes a 7, but always fit, told good smile and easy going, and I think thats the key words. A good smile and easy going not telling everyone what they like or not like, and especially giving to much details about past. Some few future dreams always comes handy, but not to detailed, and it have to fit the womans view of future somehow where they see themselves as well. 

 

To much details is an early killer of any relationship in the early phase

 

One thing for sure, I do not miss my single days at all. 

[Elkski]

Who wants a workaholic and it sounds like a workaholic is looking for a woman who would be a workaholic. I think he should take cooking lessons.   Outsourcing his dating?  Sounds like a real loser.  In Thailand your ability to support them is part of love to them.  

[BangkokReady]

5 hours ago, Berkshire said:

Just remember that you're still the same guy here as back home.  A lot of guys come to Thailand as a "5" and think that they're instantly a "9" or "10" once they arrive.  No, you're still a "5"....on the Thai scale.

Wealth comes into the score, so, since Thailand is poorer than Western countries, most men will go up a couple of points with poorer women.  Not the "hiso", of course.

[JimTripper]

53 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Wealth comes into the score, so, since Thailand is poorer than Western countries, most men will go up a couple of points with poorer women.  Not the "hiso", of course.

Go figure. If there was no advantage it would be just like the states where you don’t date or get laid.

 

The moto guys are probably what most guys would be in the states. Just a working bloke who does not have much dating life. The advantage for them in Thailand is that they could goto a massage shop once in awhile if they could afford it without risking a police sting or arrest.

 

 

Edited June 13, 2023 by JimTripper

[freedomnow]

On 6/12/2023 at 2:06 PM, JimTripper said:

In my experience living here 10 years, you need to be introduced.

That actually did me wonders in another Asian country before I moved to LoS.

Met my g/f in about under 6 weeks and been with same one so never really tested water here for multi-dating...wish I had !

[BangkokReady]

6 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

The advantage for them in Thailand is that they could goto a massage shop once in awhile if they could afford it without risking a police sting or arrest.

The advantage is that Thailand is a poorer country so they can find a higher quality girl than they could back home due to being higher value among certain demographics.  That's kind of the whole point for some people.

 

And why not?  Both parties are better off!

[JimTripper]

23 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

The advantage is that Thailand is a poorer country so they can find a higher quality girl than they could back home due to being higher value among certain demographics.  That's kind of the whole point for some people.

 

And why not?  Both parties are better off!

I meant how do the Thai moto guys get laid? They are just like working blokes in the USA would be.

[habuspasha]

We met in a bar.  She was 32.  I was 72.  I opted for long time and bar-fined  her for a week.  That was 10 years ago.  I've been supporting her happily ever since.  I didn't think of it as "salary," just as what she needed.  I grew up

in a post-war one-income family where my father would turn over his check to my mother (he didn't know how much it was) and she paid everything to raise 5 kids. "Salary" was what he was paid, not what he paid out.  Maybe I was naive to potential exploitation in the very different culture of Thailand just because my parent's arrangement seemed to work so well.  But these have been the happiest ten years of my life.

[BangkokReady]

3 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

I meant how do the Thai moto guys get laid? They are just like working blokes in the USA would be.

Oh, OK.  I didn't quite get that.

 

Funnily enough, I often see guys who are clearly pretty poor with nice looking girls (IMO).  Obviously they are poor as well, but they're still attractive.  It's actually surprising what a poor guy can achieve in Thailand.  Nice girl, kids, etc..  I imagine their apartment is pretty small and basic though.  The pretty cushy loans people get are quite helpful also.

 

The advantage they probably have is that Thailand is very much "a man's world" (for the locals at least), where some women seem to be happy to be treated like garbage (and to pay for the privilege).

 

But yes, locals have a lot of choice, including prostitution, beer girls (just for company), mistresses, and so on.

[JimTripper]

3 minutes ago, BangkokReady said:

Oh, OK.  I didn't quite get that.

 

Funnily enough, I often see guys who are clearly pretty poor with nice looking girls (IMO).  Obviously they are poor as well, but they're still attractive.  It's actually surprising what a poor guy can achieve in Thailand.  Nice girl, kids, etc..  I imagine their apartment is pretty small and basic though.  The pretty cushy loans people get are quite helpful also.

 

The advantage they probably have is that Thailand is very much "a man's world" (for the locals at least), where some women seem to be happy to be treated like garbage (and to pay for the privilege).

 

But yes, locals have a lot of choice, including prostitution, beer girls (just for company), mistresses, and so on.

I don’t. I only see them with other guys. It seems like they are never paired up with females.

[Chicksaw]

11 minutes ago, habuspasha said:

But these have been the happiest ten years of my life.

Yep, it's weird but making someone else smile is the ticket to being happy.

[habuspasha]

1 hour ago, Chicksaw said:

Yep, it's weird but making someone else smile is the ticket to being happy.

It's reciprocal.  We make each other smile.  It also takes mutual trust, especially across such chasms of culture and age.  It can be much easier to read foreign behavior suspiciously instead of with a leap of faith.  But the suspicious response can destroy everything while the trust saves and builds.

[tomacht8]

The OP makes it too complicated for himself and gets in his own way with his list of criteria.

 

Super pretty, sexy, slim, long black hair, long legs, no trampstamps, independent, tastefully dressed, single, no kids, well educated, intelligent, own good income, in the right age range, fascinating, imaginative, loyal, in bed a bombshell, ...

 

There are such Thai women, but such women have thousands of applicants and are mostly looking for a material upgrade that is above their own status level.

 

On the other hand, look at what you (the OP) can bring into a relationship. A middle age foreigner living a Bangkok's standard Thai middle-class life. 

 

So forget your criteria, forget online dating and get to know women who you like and where there is mutual sympathy and interest. Enjoy the day. And if there are more days of mutual fun, respect and sympathy, so much the better.

 

And if you're not the super handsome, young, super tantra stud, don't make your self headaches, that you're always going to have to pay for the woman in one or another way.

Edited June 13, 2023 by tomacht8