When you're old & lonely

[NextG]

7 minutes ago, Bobthegimp said:

 "my pet is different " 555   

Actually I don’t have any pets…

[xylophone]

4 hours ago, georgegeorgia said:

So some expats pay to be loved and have someone care for them?

I believe that to be true, and my experiences here seem to have borne that out.

 

On a personal level I prefer to be on my own and I'm never lonely, always finding something to keep me interested, despite a few ladies I've met trying to determine that I really do need someone to care for me, despite my protests (nicely so I may add).

 

Yonks ago I posted about the "mutually beneficial relationships" that I know of, where an older farang ties up with a younger Thai woman, and both seem to get on okay, and why not because he has someone to take care of him, and occasionally get some rumpy pumpy, and she has someone to care for her financially, and perhaps her family, with potentially a windfall when the farang pops his clogs. It's a win-win for them.

 

As if to confirm this, just yesterday I was having a manicure and a very large and older Australian man sitting next to me was lamenting the fact that he was in ill health with diabetes and other ailments, and the fact that he had difficulty walking, he was not in a good way. However he said that he was looking forward to a weeks time when he was moving in with his girlfriend up North, and his girlfriend was waiting outside of the shop for him and I would say was in her late 30s/early 40s.

 

So he had found someone to take care of him, and she had found someone to take care of her, so what's not to like?

[Bobthegimp]

2 minutes ago, NextG said:

Actually I don’t have any pets…

Woosh. 

[NextG]

2 minutes ago, Bobthegimp said:

Woosh. 

So you imagine ????

You had the opportunity to just keep it going. 

[bignok]

49 minutes ago, hotandsticky said:

Rubbish...'other people' have caused sadness when I was happy - others have made me happy when I wasn't.

Do others control your diet?

[Lacessit]

3 hours ago, NextG said:

Is there such word as misanthropist? ????

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

 

 

 

 

 

mis·an·thrope

/ˈmis(ə)nˌTHrōp/

noun

noun: misanthropist

1. a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.

   "Scrooge wasn't the mean-spirited misanthrope most of us believe him to be"

    

   Misanthrope is more commonly used, although I have never heard of a philanthrope. One of the quirks of English.

[NextG]

11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Dictionary

Definitions from Oxford Languages · Learn more

 

 

 

 

 

mis·an·thrope

/ˈmis(ə)nˌTHrōp/

 

noun

noun: misanthropist

1. a person who dislikes humankind and avoids human society.

   "Scrooge wasn't the mean-spirited misanthrope most of us believe him to be"

    

   Misanthrope is more commonly used, although I have never heard of a philanthrope. One of the quirks of English.

I still am not convinced. 

[JimTripper]

Guys who “utilize the services of prostitutes” are the loneliest guys around. It can be worse then just doing life solo.

 

Same for the prostitute.

 

Both are trying to provide something that’s not really there. It’s just an act.

[Adumbration]

Jeezus wept more fake content.

[kinyara]

Bye Reg

 

1) Was the airport packed with friends and family eagerly welcoming you home ?

2) How was the party, they did organise a party for you surely ?

3) What about the rest of life partner, it's only been a few weeks but any luck down the bingo club ?

 

But more importantly georgegeorgia want to know R U Okay ?

[LaosLover]

1 hour ago, NextG said:

So for this experience, it’s natural to tip generously

That settles it.

 

I wouldn't do it, but I occasionally pop into a tin shack place and I see it being done a bit. No one seems to care. I saw this happen at a Shan noodle dive too.

 

Tip them like it's a corkage fee. I'd toss them a hundred, what to you throw them?

[NextG]

2 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

That settles it.

 

I wouldn't do it, but I occasionally pop into a tin shack place and I see it being done a bit. No one seems to care. I saw this happen at a Shan noodle dive too.

 

Tip them like it's a corkage fee. I'd toss them a hundred, what to you throw them?

????????‍♂️ It’s nothing like a corkage fee ???? That is ridiculous. What don’t you understand about a single all in price? In other words, I could sit and eat their food all day. But in this case I am eating much less of their food, so it costs them less to have me as a customer. Win for the owner. Win for me because I get better food and a Win for the staff because I show my appreciation. 

A corkage fee covers you not buying alcoholic drinks at marked up prices(usually 300%) and using their glasses and their staff to open your bottle and to serve you. Extra costs for them that need to be compensated. 
There is no extra usage, no extra service, no loss, no negative outcome on either side. 
So there is absolutely no need for any kind of fee and therefore it’s not an issue. 
 

But my tips can be more generous than you suggest. Staff will even come out to thank me afterwards. They work hard and they appreciate that someone notices. 

[bignok]

57 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Guys who “utilize the services of prostitutes” are the loneliest guys around. It can be worse then just doing life solo.

 

Same for the prostitute.

 

Both are trying to provide something that’s not really there. It’s just an act.

What about guys who date ladyboys?

[bignok]

26 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

That settles it.

 

I wouldn't do it, but I occasionally pop into a tin shack place and I see it being done a bit. No one seems to care. I saw this happen at a Shan noodle dive too.

 

Tip them like it's a corkage fee. I'd toss them a hundred, what to you throw them?

I tip drivers 3 to 7 baht

[transam]

2 minutes ago, bignok said:

What about guys who date ladyboys?

Tell us about it........????

[NextG]

1 hour ago, JimTripper said:

Guys who “utilize the services of prostitutes” are the loneliest guys around. It can be worse then just doing life solo.

 

Same for the prostitute.

 

Both are trying to provide something that’s not really there. It’s just an act.

I don’t altogether agree. It’s not as clear cut as you might imagine. 
I have met, in the past, girls coming down from Bangkok just to have sex. So they would wait for someone they actually liked. Yes, they told me so. I would walk past them every day with my shopping, so they didn’t see me as a sex tourist. I would hear things that the normal tourist/expat would not. 
Not just Asian girls, but one Caucasian told me similarly, that she gets her ‘love’ from her customers. 
So in some cases, it’s not just an act. 
They are still people. But of course they’ll also have customers that just want to use them and don’t care how they feel. 
You’d be surprised at how these girls can fall head over heels for the ‘right’ person. 
I was a particular target because they would see me every single day carrying my shopping and ignoring them. So after a while they really wanted to get to know me. I got to hear a lot that the average Joe would not. 


 

[Captain Monday]

5 hours ago, NextG said:

Is there such word as misanthropist? ????

A misanthropic philanthropist

A patron of evil doers and psychopaths?

 

[JimTripper]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

What about guys who date ladyboys?

Makes no difference who it is. Dating is one thing, "utilizing the services of prostitutes" is another. There's no grey area like guys like to believe. Someone is either there for the money, or not. It's not good or bad, just reality. Take money out of the relationship and you have your answer.

 

Maybe this guy ran out of money and discovered that he was lonely all along?

[hotandsticky]

2 hours ago, bignok said:

Do others control your diet?

Lost me there.......

 

...but that is not something new.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, hotandsticky said:

Lost me there.......

 

...but that is not something new.

Diet- body food

Thoughts and feelings - mind food

 

You should never let others control your thoughts and feelings. If they want to be bad so be it. You control your feelings not them.

 

If others can easily make you sad then they are masters and you a slave

[hotandsticky]

1 hour ago, bignok said:

Diet- body food

Thoughts and feelings - mind food

 

You should never let others control your thoughts and feelings. If they want to be bad so be it. You control your feelings not them.

 

If others can easily make you sad then they are masters and you a slave

I think that you think too much 

 

Fact - others (without having any control over you) can impact your mood; positively or negatively.

[bignok]

1 minute ago, hotandsticky said:

I think that you think too much 

 

Fact - others (without having any control over you) can impact your mood; positively or negatively.

Only if you let them. With training you can learn to ignore others. Your subconcious mind controls your mind. If you believe others can make you sad then so it is. Roger Bannister broke the 4 min mile. Nobody thought it could be done. Within 18 months lots of people did it. You are sad or happy because you programmed your thoughts a certain way.

[bignok]

https://medium.com/mariposa-magazine/sadness-is-more-addictive-than-happiness-44f996680c39

[still kicking]

This should be in General Thai, I am old and not lonely so I can't answer?

[scubascuba3]

6 hours ago, bignok said:

Only if you let them. With training you can learn to ignore others. Your subconcious mind controls your mind. If you believe others can make you sad then so it is. Roger Bannister broke the 4 min mile. Nobody thought it could be done. Within 18 months lots of people did it. You are sad or happy because you programmed your thoughts a certain way.

Reading too many self help books isn't good for you

[SiSePuede419]

Most Farangs would probably scowl and not say anything if you asked them "Are you OK"? ????

[SiSePuede419]

7 hours ago, hotandsticky said:

think that you think too much 

Yesterday I watched a video of someone who walked around the slums in Manila including little tiny alleys with people's laundry hanging up.

"This is real", he said.

People were very friendly, he said.

Sure,I would walk around at night, he said.

So.... the point is that Manila is full of lots of really poor people who are happy and just trying to get by.

But I already know that.  I don't need to walk around slums to see that.  I've already walked around in low income areas in many countries.  90% of people are good people just getting by.  It's that other 10% you gotta watch out for.

Why push your luck?  Thrill seeking?  Surviving getting knifed? 

 

What's the point?!?!?

 

Your inability to use Google search for 30seconds and find budget accomodations in a reasonably safe neighborhood is not something that a majority of the world wants to see.

"Favala" tourism to me is pointless.  You're either part of the problem or you're part of the solution.  Smart people already know Manila is a place to avoid.  There's lots of places in the world to avoid, no need to list them here.

You treat people with respect and they treat you the same.  But their path is for them to walk, not I.  Me walking around with a camera on a selfie stick mumbling about how real poverty is does nothing for the people experiencing it.

 

[swm59nj]

One needs to make themselves happy also.  If you don’t have much going for yourself, you will be miserable.  And women don’t usually go for miserable men that have nothing to show for themselves.  And can barely take care of themselves. And I’m not talking about women who are bar girls or just looking for money. 

[NextG]

30 minutes ago, swm59nj said:

One needs to make themselves happy also.  If you don’t have much going for yourself, you will be miserable.  And women don’t usually go for miserable men that have nothing to show for themselves.  And can barely take care of themselves. And I’m not talking about women who are bar girls or just looking for money. 

That goes for women too. A lot have nothing going for them and depend on manipulation and guile to get what they want. 
On the male side, there are those who are unable to make a connection. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that shooting fish in a barrel is not the same as fishing in a river. But that is exactly why they travel to Thailand.  So we have on the one side, males lacking the necessary social skills to make and keep a friend, at the mercy of women whose sole purpose is to extract money from them. 
The illusion of the ‘girlfriend experience’ has faded away and reality is biting them. 

 

[CecilM]

I’d rather be old and lonely in my country than stay here. So, go home.