Being pressured to pay off wife's mother's large debt.

[stupidfarang]

18 hours ago, Aust24R said:

I will follow your wisdom Dolf, no more to them. Below is a small sample from a cold and demanding mother last week. I didn't send anything to her

WOW! that was a message from her mother? Time to leave now.

[stupidfarang]

17 hours ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Absolutely true - plus you must never visit the Mother/Family - the wife can go by herself (like she did before you arrived). 

 

Sorry to say this, but you better start checking things out in detail mate.  She could be genuine and her mother/family is just using her to get money out of the Falang, or she is actually an active participant in squeezing money out of the Falang - and maybe has already done this before. Whatever happens, never allow her to access your money/bank - Thais are extremely 'compliant' and daughters will do what they are told to do by their Mother/Family. You need to keep a very close eye on things and keep her on a very short lead - and watch how things develop going forward. 

 

Plus - mate - you need a plan B - a quick exit strategy and plan in place - just in case.  If it does all go to sheite one day, you must leave the country - you have no idea how things can be brought down on you by a Thai family in 'revenge mode' - everything from Police arrest and charges to being charged with some very serious crime.   Now that might never goping to happen, but by the sounds of it and yourself, you need to have a Plan B in place. If that happens - go home and regroup and try another country - Philippines etc. Dont come back - you could be arrested at airport or just denied entry. 

Total over the top comments, "If it does all go to sheite one day, you must leave the country - you have no idea how things". If this was the case then there would be no farangs in Thailand. Yes some do over react, good idea not to live near the family in the first place.

[stupidfarang]

16 hours ago, Aust24R said:

Kinnock yours is exactly the support I need to read at the moment, thank you mate. It is painful yes, I'll keep your post on hand when I need a bit of extra support.  She says she wants a divorce, but she has no grounds for a contested divorce when it's only her that wants it, I've been a good and decent husband. Should I just walk away as many are suggesting?

yes walk, and you say she wants a divorce. It is hard to leave someone when you love them, yet what they are doing to you now is not from someone who loves you, the hurt and anger will only get worse if you stay. Many of us have been in the same situation, life will be a lot better once you get past her.

[RichardColeman]

On 3/28/2024 at 5:38 PM, Aust24R said:

I know I'm required to help pay wife's debts incurred during marriage,

That would seem to indicated that your wife is not honest with you. How can she acquire debt in your marriage with you dealing with it first ? 

[Artisi]

On 3/28/2024 at 9:54 PM, Aust24R said:

1 million I believe

Does mum have any tangible assets like land, gold etc. If yes - exchange the assets for the debt. 

[Dolf]

1 hour ago, Artisi said:

Does mum have any tangible assets like land, gold etc. If yes - exchange the assets for the debt. 

You don't know Thais

 

Thai asset is Thai

Farang money is Thai

 

Understand?

[TroubleandGrumpy]

2 hours ago, stupidfarang said:

Total over the top comments, "If it does all go to sheite one day, you must leave the country - you have no idea how things". If this was the case then there would be no farangs in Thailand. Yes some do over react, good idea not to live near the family in the first place.

Yes worst case scenario - but it sounded like he was in the deep stuff - separated for many months and wife screaming for more money and mother scamming him too. Somehow he is married? Sounding like a bloke that has been ripped off for a long time and finally woken up - he needs to escape.  If he is listening - you do not need to be in Thailand to get a divorce - perhaps to lodge it initially - he should talk to an Expat focussed lawyer (and if it is as bad as it sounds, get the hell out of here).  

[FritsSikkink]

17 hours ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Tosser - go have another beer and bargirl. 

Sorry to disappoint you, I am happily married with a wife who owns several businesses and I work during office hours. 

I am not running away for anyone or feel the need to leave the country because of a problem with a couple of Thai people. Unbelievable how scared some people are.

[TroubleandGrumpy]

16 minutes ago, FritsSikkink said:

Sorry to disappoint you, I am happily married with a wife who owns several businesses and I work during office hours. 

I am not running away for anyone or feel the need to leave the country because of a problem with a couple of Thai people. Unbelievable how scared some people are.

Just a quick point to try and set you straight - this is not about you and how you feel. 

Plus - I dont believe a word you said - 'my wife owns several businesses' - 'I work during office hours' - ROFLOL - faker. 

Quit while you are behind mate - that hole will only get bigger.

[FritsSikkink]

23 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Just a quick point to try and set you straight - this is not about you and how you feel. 

Plus - I dont believe a word you said - 'my wife owns several businesses' - 'I work during office hours' - ROFLOL - faker. 

Quit while you are behind mate - that hole will only get bigger.

I couldn't care less what you believe or not. Keep on running away from challenges and being treated like a door mat.

[AlexRich]

Interesting dilemma. the first thing that struck me was the fact that you have cleared all of your wife's debts, hopefully it wasn't too much? A nice gesture but I'd be careful not to do that in the future because it soon stops being a nice gesture and starts being what is expected of you.

 

I fear you might have reached the "expected" stage when you are now being asked to clear the mother's debts. I think you need to make it very clear to your wife that you won't be clearing anyone else's debts going forward, including hers. Then watch to see what reaction you get over the next few months. If there is no understanding there then you may well have married someone who only wants you for money, and cares little for the relationship. In which case, sorry to say, you need to start planning your exit. 

[Artisi]

4 hours ago, Dolf said:

You don't know Thais

 

Thai asset is Thai

Farang money is Thai

 

Understand?

Seems you don't know Thai's - money is king, offer money in place of an asset and guess what the outcome wil be?

 

Do you understand? 

 

[Dolf]

Just now, Artisi said:

Seems you don't know Thai's - money is king, offer money in place of an asset and guess what the outcome wil be?

 

Do you understand? 

 

Farangs can't own land and most other assets are worthless.

[BritManToo]

Just now, Dolf said:

Farangs can't own land and most other assets are worthless.

Land in her village is probably worthless as well!

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Yes worst case scenario - but it sounded like he was in the deep stuff - separated for many months and wife screaming for more money and mother scamming him too. Somehow he is married? Sounding like a bloke that has been ripped off for a long time and finally woken up - he needs to escape.  If he is listening - you do not need to be in Thailand to get a divorce - perhaps to lodge it initially - he should talk to an Expat focussed lawyer (and if it is as bad as it sounds, get the hell out of here).  

Never understand the desperate rush for a foreigner to seek a divorce.

Being married harms her future plans far more than it harms any foreigner.

Let her sweat!

[Dolf]

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Never understand the desperate rush for a foreigner to seek a divorce.

Being married harms her future plans far more than it harms any foreigner.

Let her sweat!

Well yes. Just go get a massage or another gf even short term. Rent a room, bang a few. Enjoy life.

[Artisi]

1 hour ago, Dolf said:

Farangs can't own land and most other assets are worthless.

Gold is not, she will have some spirited away like most Thai's. 

[Dolf]

55 minutes ago, Artisi said:

Gold is not, she will have some spirited away like most Thai's. 

Likely pawned it if a gambler

[TroubleandGrumpy]

3 hours ago, FritsSikkink said:

I couldn't care less what you believe or not. Keep on running away from challenges and being treated like a door mat.

Not about you - not about me.  Grow Up. 

[TroubleandGrumpy]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Never understand the desperate rush for a foreigner to seek a divorce.

Being married harms her future plans far more than it harms any foreigner.

Let her sweat!

No mate- Expat is liable for debts incurred by wife if they are still married. File for divorce means no more liability. 

[GarryP]

On 3/29/2024 at 4:03 PM, Aust24R said:

How do you walk away when you're married in Thailand, is it up to her to start a contested divorce? She has no grounds to seek one, I've been a decent husband. Right now, walking away seems the only option though, it's the only situation I have available now.  She's broken all contact

If you both agree to the divorce, just go to the district office (taking all necessary documents with you) and file for divorce. It is not that complicated if both of you agree to it. If she demands compensation, counter with evidence of her infidelity (hopefully you have such evidence) and threaten that you will take the case to court if she does not back down.  

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

No mate- Expat is liable for debts incurred by wife if they are still married. File for divorce means no more liability. 

But unless you foolishly keep your assets in Thailand they can't get a dime.

[scubascuba3]

I don't know why men dig these holes getting married, no need for it. I can see why women want it

[TroubleandGrumpy]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

But unless you foolishly keep your assets in Thailand they can't get a dime.

Mate are you for real??  I sometimes question members on this forum for their 'reality'.  It is clear to me that some are just BS (GenZs in their Mum's basement type people). There are some that just do not know about things because they never experienced them or know someone that has, but they still make comments.  I must say I am tending to put you in the latter, as you have been here 10 years?  But perhaps you just misunderstood.

Let me go through this one step at a time (the worst case).

A Thai wife can give you debts by taking out a loan or whatever - and you as husband are legally liable. 

If those loans/debts are 'called in' - such as by a bank or 'Thai person' shall we say, you are accountable.

Given you are accountable, they can get a Police Order and you will not be able to leave the country.

They will seek to reach an agreement/deal.

You can deny and refuse to make a deal all you like, but the next step is a Warrant to arrest you for unpaid debts.

The next steps are not so good.

 

Yes that is worst case scenario - but it has happened a few times (allegedly). I know of one bloke that lost 'his' house because the Thai wife had taken out loans against the house they lived in, to pay her and her family's gambling debts - and to buy the Brother a new bike etc. 

 

That is why I am advising the OP that if things are as bad as they seem they are - get the hell out of dodge - only then can the statement be made that they cannot get a dime out of him, because he aint in the country (and never will be again).

 

[BritManToo]

29 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

I sometimes question members on this forum for their 'reality'.  It is clear to me that some are just BS

I'll just put you on ignore!

[transam]

5 hours ago, scubascuba3 said:

I don't know why men dig these holes getting married, no need for it. I can see why women want it

Reads like another reason you tell us you live in Pattaya.........😘..............😂

[TroubleandGrumpy]

59 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I'll just put you on ignore!

Gen Z basement dweller type for usre 🙂 

 

[scubascuba3]

1 hour ago, transam said:

Reads like another reason you tell us you live in Pattaya.........😘..............😂

You are one of those short fat bald old guys with a fake wife, why kid yourself it's real?

[Aust24R]

On 3/30/2024 at 5:29 PM, GarryP said:

If you both agree to the divorce, just go to the district office (taking all necessary documents with you) and file for divorce. It is not that complicated if both of you agree to it. If she demands compensation, counter with evidence of her infidelity (hopefully you have such evidence) and threaten that you will take the case to court if she does not back down.  

Garry thank you, I'm grateful to learn from your post

[Aust24R]

7 hours ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Mate are you for real??  I sometimes question members on this forum for their 'reality'.  It is clear to me that some are just BS (GenZs in their Mum's basement type people). There are some that just do not know about things because they never experienced them or know someone that has, but they still make comments.  I must say I am tending to put you in the latter, as you have been here 10 years?  But perhaps you just misunderstood.

Let me go through this one step at a time (the worst case).

A Thai wife can give you debts by taking out a loan or whatever - and you as husband are legally liable. 

If those loans/debts are 'called in' - such as by a bank or 'Thai person' shall we say, you are accountable.

Given you are accountable, they can get a Police Order and you will not be able to leave the country.

They will seek to reach an agreement/deal.

You can deny and refuse to make a deal all you like, but the next step is a Warrant to arrest you for unpaid debts.

The next steps are not so good.

 

Yes that is worst case scenario - but it has happened a few times (allegedly). I know of one bloke that lost 'his' house because the Thai wife had taken out loans against the house they lived in, to pay her and her family's gambling debts - and to buy the Brother a new bike etc. 

 

That is why I am advising the OP that if things are as bad as they seem they are - get the hell out of dodge - only then can the statement be made that they cannot get a dime out of him, because he aint in the country (and never will be again).

 

TandG thank you. I appreciate you took the time to write