On 5/3/2024 at 2:38 PM, The Cobra said:

So, picture this: I strolled into one of those massage joints in Pattaya,, thinking I was in for a treat. Boy, was I in for a surprise! The massage itself felt like a wrestling match with the  Hulk—sublime yet borderline bone-crushing. I swear, that masseuse could probably unscrew a rusty nut with her bare hands!

But here's where it gets weird: her voice! Deeper the Lurch off the Adams family, I kid you not. And instead of the soothing spa chatter, she's yammering on about football. I'm lying there, covered in oil, wondering if I've stumbled into some parallel universe where sports commentary is part of the spa experience.

Now, what's a bloke to do in such a situation? Do I demand a refund, making it clear that I didn't sign up for a deep tissue massage joint realignment and a sports podcast? Or do I get cheeky and ask if she can work her magic on my car's noisy tappets after work?

 

Decisions, decisions...

Did someone forced you to stay? You weren't handcuffed, or paralyzed or intoxicated? Or dreaming only? To be honest, I would have stepped out of this place in the first minute or second when I saw her/him.

Payment? Hmmh, maybe 50 Baht. For Good will . 🙏

On 5/3/2024 at 11:03 PM, Maybole said:

My sister in law is a trained masseuse. She is brutal, but if you can endure an hour with her you will feel better.

Ha! Yes, I have had those. At the end, I am asked if I feel better … to myself I think, yes … after you stopped. I am, however, a foot massage addict.

I call Thai massage assisted yoga.  It's good stretching for the muscles.  Just imagine how many times they get farted on when doing it.

What's the difference between massage and physiotherapy?

 

Quite a few years back, I had pulled a muscle in my back in the shoulder blade to spinal waist area.

On Jomtien beach, I had a massage specifically for that problem and the woman was brilliant. 

I came away from that treatment with the muscle problem completely fixed.

Now for the fly in that particular ointment.

As a goodbye gift she grabbed my right arm and bent it to an extremes position which hurt.

Apart from that it was an hour well spent.

On 5/6/2024 at 1:26 PM, scorecard said:

But it often takes several showers with lots of shampoo / body wash to completely remove the oil.

 

So I ask for cream massage. 

What kind of cream would that be?

21 minutes ago, Kalasin Jo said:

What kind of cream would that be?

 

Your choice, there's a million brands on the market, some massage venues have a couple of brands, many just one brand. 

 

I just say 'cream', I should of course be more specific / more selective.

 

On the other hand many customers say 'oil' and the reality is that the oil actually used is very probably very low quality cheap oil. (I don't ask for oil because I find it takes 2 or more showers to totally remove the oil and I really dislike the feeling of oil still on my skin but maybe others don't have this issue). 

 

I've never visited a massage shop which offered (put in front of the customer) a selection of brands of oil.