What is Thai dating culture like?

[Damian Lewis]

I wonder how is the Thai dating culture like?  Because dating apps doesn't work for me. Any suggestion or tips will be absolutely helpful for me.

[DaLa]

Correct, dating apps don't work. Try bank apps, they work a dream.

[KhunLA]

I find people and interaction to be the same, worldwide.  All the good, bad & ugly of it.  Slight culture difference, very slight, and Thai gals seem accepting any age difference a bit more ... if you're not a smelly, fat, alcoholic slob 

[OneMoreFarang]

9 minutes ago, KhunLA said:

if you're not a smelly, fat, alcoholic slob

That is also no problem at all if you have a nice bank account.

[OneMoreFarang]

Some people think that if they meet a girl in a bar then this is only about money. And outside bars there are all those girls who don't care about money.

Reality is that there are also many girls who want to get paid right away or eventually everywhere else. Money is important, always.

 

 

[mstevens]

Your question is simple but the answer is complex. What exactly are you looking for? Many foreigners "dating" in Thailand are simply looking for a smorgasbord of bed partners. Others are looking for a life partner. Some are looking for a lady much younger, others are looking for someone of similar age.

 

If I was going to give advice about dating in Thailand, and I am assuming you're looking for a long-term relationship possibly leading to marriage, then I'd say to choose someone with a similar education to yourself. Try and find a lady who is not too much younger although this all depends on your age. If you're 60 and she's 40, fine. If you're 40 and she's 20, forget it.

 

Put your best foot forward. Get a decent haircut, wear some nice clothes, be unfailingly polite, treat her well, go slow and if you've been a bar hound in the past, give that lifestyle up. Be decent to her and a good lady will be very decent in return.

 

It helps if you have money. You needn't be rich but in Thailand the man is expected to be able to take care of a lady. Plenty of ladies these days pay their way, but you should not expect that. You should expect that she will look after you in other "non-monetary" ways.

 

Don't hunt online. There are some gems out there but there are lots of vultures too. Introductions through colleagues, friends, acquaintances etc are a better way to go.

 

If you want some more fine-tuned thoughts, maybe provide a little background on yourself such as age, job etc. These things do make a difference. An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

 

That's a few ideas to start with.

[save the frogs]

1 hour ago, mstevens said:

An engineer earning 150K USD per annum will be a lot more attractive to ladies than an English teaching sweating it out for 35,000 baht per month.

 

But you can try "reverse psychology".

Let's say you are an engineer making 150K. Tell them you make 35,000 baht per month.

And see how they react.

If they turn you down, they were only ever interested in your money anyway. 

 

[GammaGlobulin]

17 hours ago, Damian Lewis said:

I wonder how is the Thai dating culture like?  Because dating apps doesn't work for me. Any suggestion or tips will be absolutely helpful for me.

 

Thai dating, is not really dating.

 

Most Thais in Thailand rely on word of mouth to find the Giks they need, most afternoons.

 

In Thai culture, strict monogamy seems to not be given the highest priority.

 

In Thai culture, it is the mother-son relationship which is most sacred.

 

And, probably.....THIS is why everybody loves Giks, and Giking about, so popular here.

 

I would love a Gik....if...

I were not so celibate all of the time.

 

 I have never had a Gik relationship.

And, this is one of my deepest regrets.

 

 

[mstevens]

5 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

But you can try "reverse psychology".

Let's say you are an engineer making 150K. Tell them you make 35,000 baht per month.

And see how they react.

If they turn you down, they were only ever interested in your money anyway.

 

I wouldn't get hung up on a woman who wants a man with money.

 

It's perfectly normal for a woman to want a guy who can provide a decent life for her. And further to that, many of us are proud to be able to take care of our wife and give her a great life. If you truly love her, wouldn't you want your lives to the best they can be?

[rabas]

Learn Thai. Yes, old boring comment but very true.

 

You don't need to learn it all before dating. Learning Thai while dating is a useful litmus test, if the girl isn't helpful or chides you then dump her immediately, she want's to hide things. If she encourages you, it's a sign she interested in you.

 

[JTXR]

As in most places, the "culture" depends on what you are looking for.  One thing for sure:  Thai women know very well the different types of guys out there and the different types of things they are looking for. 

[save the frogs]

8 hours ago, mstevens said:

 

I wouldn't get hung up on a woman who wants a man with money.

 

It's perfectly normal for a woman to want a guy who can provide a decent life for her. And further to that, many of us are proud to be able to take care of our wife and give her a great life. If you truly love her, wouldn't you want your lives to the best they can be?

If she's on the up and up, it's perfectly fine.

Arguably, many (most?) modern women don't have the proper DNA for being wife material. 

Not sure how much I would want to spend on them. 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

14 hours ago, save the frogs said:

 

But you can try "reverse psychology".

Let's say you are an engineer making 150K. Tell them you make 35,000 baht per month.

And see how they react.

If they turn you down, they were only ever interested in your money anyway. 

I don't think so.

 

If a guy is involved in a start-up and makes little money, and he works hard because he thinks he just invented this great thing with which he will be successful in a couple of years, that is perfectly fine.

But if a i.e. 30 year old guy works as a teacher for 35k THB because that is the best job he is able to get, that is a huge difference.

I understand women who want to see that their partner is successful, or on the way to success.

[OneMoreFarang]

8 hours ago, JTXR said:

As in most places, the "culture" depends on what you are looking for.  One thing for sure:  Thai women know very well the different types of guys out there and the different types of things they are looking for. 

 

But then, a guy might see a woman and think: I would like to f%^ her. And an hour later he sees another woman and thinks: Wow, I wish I would marry her (or a woman like her).

[save the frogs]

8 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I don't think so.

 

If a guy is involved in a start-up and makes little money, and he works hard because he thinks he just invented this great thing with which he will be successful in a couple of years, that is perfectly fine.

But if a i.e. 30 year old guy works as a teacher for 35k THB because that is the best job he is able to get, that is a huge difference.

I understand women who want to see that their partner is successful, or on the way to success.

Yeah, all women would date Brad Pitt if they could.

And Brad Pitt would dump them and move on to someone else after 3 months. 

There's a curve at which you don't want your man to be TOO rich because then he has too many options.

 

Men want the hottest women - and they usually are not the best long term partners

Women want the richest guys - and they are not always the best long term partners

 

The dating scene is a complicated mess. You need 15 Phds to sort it out. 

I don't claim to have it all worked out, with a string of failed relationships and whole lotta women turning me down over the years. 

 

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

The dating scene is a complicated mess. You need 15 Phds to sort it out.

 

I agree with the complicated mess.

I think that is one of those situations where you should switch off your brain and listen to your heart. 

By intuition we know lots of things which we wouldn't be able to describe with words.

[BritManToo]

35 minutes ago, save the frogs said:

all women would date Brad Pitt if they could.

And Brad Pitt would dump them and move on to someone else after 3 months. 

All women ......... Apart from the two he married!

[JTXR]

[romulsdefroz]

Thai dating culture is fascinating, blending traditional values with modern influences. Family plays a significant role, and respect, politeness, and patience are highly valued in relationships. That said, I totally agree that dating apps don’t work for everyone. Meeting someone special often requires exploring different approaches that suit your personality and lifestyle.

[amexpat]

On 5/25/2024 at 5:51 PM, save the frogs said:

Arguably, many (most?) modern women don't have the proper DNA for being wife material. 

Not sure how much I would want to spend on them. 

Don't worry. That decision will probably be made for you. 

 

[1FinickyOne]

On 5/25/2024 at 4:22 AM, GammaGlobulin said:

I have never had a Gik relationship.

And, this is one of my deepest regrets.

 

It's never too late... 

[1FinickyOne]

On 5/25/2024 at 6:29 PM, save the frogs said:

Yeah, all women would date Brad Pitt if they could.

And Brad Pitt would dump them and move on to someone else after 3 months.

3 months? most women would be glad to settle for one night - 

[GammaGlobulin]

2 minutes ago, 1FinickyOne said:

It's never too late... 

 

Gik relationships never end well.

 

[1FinickyOne]

1 minute ago, GammaGlobulin said:

 

Gik relationships never end well.

 

Really? Much less demanding than a marriage, but end, not end, part of the beauty is the lack of drama

[GammaGlobulin]

1 minute ago, 1FinickyOne said:

Really? Much less demanding than a marriage, but end, not end, part of the beauty is the lack of drama

 

Far better for me, rather than dally with a Gik, to, like the mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation, just glory in my solitary life.

 

Just me and the woods.

That's really all any man needeth.

 

 

[thesetat]

i read a lot of replies telling you about the different types of Thai woman. What i do not see are replies to how you can find a good woman to date. 

I would suggest first. You do not be shy to approach any woman you seem to think looked at you with a smile or that you think is in your standard. Don't be shy to ask them "me fan my " ( do you have a boyfriend ) If they reply no, ask them to dinner or some other social outing. Do not be surprised if they want family or friends with you the first time as well. A good lady may feel shy to date you alone the first time. 

Dating apps will work but, it takes time. You joined this group in May 2024. Have you been here a short time? To find a good woman can take years to find and there will be many failures due to what you seek in a woman. 

I find that women in medical or government or education and even in 7/11 are usually seeking a man who will make a good future hence they do not want you for the money but more for the security.

Most good women do not go out to drink at bars. They know the type of men who go there as well. 

I assume you are in Bangkok as per some of your OPs. Lots of available single women there willing to date a foreigner. but they are cautious and want to see what type of person you are as well. They want a good future with stability. They do not care if you are rich but all will know you have enough money to live here which is a lot more than they have. 

I even met some girls by asking them if they have a BF while travelling on the subway. Get their line and make sure you chat them daily to show interest. 

I want to say avoid bar girls and massage girls but that is simply my preference. There are too many that are not good women for a relationship. 

The online apps can work for you and you will find some good women on them. But it seems lately there are more (for hire) girls there only interested in your for an hour or so. 

Whatever route you take. You must not be shy to say what you seek and what you expect if you meet. 

[wombat]

P4P works well for me. No complaints at all...I come they go.

It's all transactional like it is with any female regardless of race colour or creed.

[newbee2022]

On 5/24/2024 at 11:09 AM, Damian Lewis said:

I wonder how is the Thai dating culture like?  Because dating apps doesn't work for me. Any suggestion or tips will be absolutely helpful for me.

Why the app is not working for you?

Hmmh, show us your photo. We might tell you then? 🤣🙏😄

[Thingamabob]

On 5/24/2024 at 4:25 PM, OneMoreFarang said:

That is also no problem at all if you have a nice bank account.

Not so sure about that. I've seen, many times, even the most readily available bar girls turn down farangs, with loads of cash, if they are smelly and scruffy.

[edwardflory]

Since covid, there are many "professional" ladies on the dating apks, but still good to meet a diversity of females.

 

When single, I met factory workers, secretaries, nurses, farm girls, police officers and security guards, a good mix of ladies.  It is usually possible to meet them WHERE they work.

 

When / IF it comes to discussion of YOUR monthly income, say 25,000 - 30,000bt at the most.  Many single Thai ladies live on 8,000 to 14,000bt a month working full time - some working 6 days a week.

 

Meet 1st time at a public place like a restaurant or mall. Almost EVER female has a mobile no matter the money they make.

 

Ended up married to a farm girl - we live on MORE than 30,000bt.