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Negative Stereotypes About Thai Women in Relationships with Foreigners


Alpha84

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6 hours ago, SenorTashi said:

I've been travelling all over Asia for 35 years and I have a lot of old friends here who've told me every story under the sun.

Two years ago I finally met a country girl who I really trusted in Chiang Rai. After a long and very sweet courtship, her dad started pressuring us to get married. As soon as I agreed, her and her whole family became obsessed with draining my bank account. After a few months of that, I walked away. Since then I've got no interest in Thai women at all because now I've seen closeup how dishonest they can be. 

 

I have a female friend in France who worked with women in Singapore for years. She once told me that without fail, every single woman in Asia is only interested in our money and if you believe anything else, you're a fool.

Sounds like you and your French friend were both fooled, one failed relationship doesn’t mean others haven’t had successful ones where money is not the attraction.

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5 hours ago, nobodysfriend said:

Fair or not ... there might be some exceptions , but generally :

No money - no honey .

Maybe in the circles you occupy, my wife has her own business and manages very well without a cent from me.

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7 hours ago, Expat68 said:

I can only comment on my relationship of 18 months (age difference 33 years) we are never on our phones in each others company, she never talks about/asks for money, scolds me if I book into a 4* hotel. Just the other day she told me that I was the best thing that ever happened in her life

 

She's a joy thief that robbed you of a simple pleasure. Now she has you questioning your choice of hotels, dear me. 

 

And they all say that. 

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1 hour ago, Mbaki said:

one failed relationship

I mentioned 35 years of conversations with guys who've lived all over Asia since the 60s and 70s.

And the French woman worked in Asia for years and made friends with dozens of local women.

So I've heard dozens of stories of failed relationships but if you prefer to think of it as one story, so be it.

 

I spoke to an old guy in 1990, who had been married, had kids and grand children and when he got to his 80s, 

had the rug pulled out from under him and suddenly had nothing.

 

But hey, if you're living your fantasy life, good luck to you.

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50 minutes ago, chippendale said:

 

Doubtful

 

:coffee1:

 The poster wrote: "How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults?"

 

"Friends with" is a subjective term, and as I tried to explain in an earlier post, the nature of friendship is not an absolute rigid universal standard (as many Western men seem to believe), and there are many cultural differences in the way men relate to one another. 

 

But if the question was rephrased: "How many Thai men do you know well enough to assess whether they are reasonably well adjusted and mature adults?' then my revised answer would be 'hundreds and hundreds.'

 

Guys who constantly bash Thai men on this forum almost never have the language skills to communicate effectively in Thai, and have drunk too much 'Thai men no good!' bar-girl kool-aid. Earlier on this thread, a poster described most Thai men as 'worthless.' First of all, if that were true, what does it say about the Thai women they associate with if the premise is that every Thai man in her life has no value? It's idiotic to say one's girlfriend/wife is the most wonderful woman they've ever met, but that her grandfather, father, brothers, uncles, sons, grandsons nephews, and every Thai male she ever went to school, worked, or associated with on down are "worthless.: And as far as being lazy, shiftless, and coddled mama's boys, the typical bar stool farang wouldn't last 15 minutes doing the field work Thai farmers do day-in and day-out. 

 

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53 minutes ago, SenorTashi said:

I mentioned 35 years of conversations with guys who've lived all over Asia since the 60s and 70s.

And the French woman worked in Asia for years and made friends with dozens of local women.

So I've heard dozens of stories of failed relationships but if you prefer to think of it as one story, so be it.

 

I spoke to an old guy in 1990, who had been married, had kids and grand children and when he got to his 80s, 

had the rug pulled out from under him and suddenly had nothing.

 

But hey, if you're living your fantasy life, good luck to you.

I quoted your failed relationship not worried about the bitter people you have met with their own stories along the way, I don’t live in a fantasy world as you would like to assume, I have the reality of a loving wife and family who have asked nothing from me, she has her own business so is able to support herself without any help from me.

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On 7/1/2024 at 9:58 AM, Alpha84 said:

Something that's been on my mind a lot is all the negative stereotypes Iv'e read in AN forum posts surrounding relationships with Thai women. I wonder how true they are or if there are a lot of misconceptions and false statements being made. 


One exhausting stereotype I read over and over again is the idea that Thai women are only interested in Western men for financial security. While I know that money can be a factor in any relationship, is it fair to paint so many Thai women with the same brush? They can't all be looking for just one superficial thing. 
 

I've also seen firsthand a few long-term relationships between foreigners and Thai women that seem to be based on genuine love and mutual respect, but I can't be sure because it's very easy for people to act a certain way in public amongst groups of friends versus when they are alone together in private. 


Another stereotype is that Thai women are submissive or passive in relationships. Hard to imagine that is true across the board either. Thai society appears fairly diverse so I assume that so are many of the Thai women as well. I'll bet there are plenty who are assertive, independent, and equal partners in their relationships. In fact, I've also read stereotypes about Thai women saying the complete opposite and that they're aggressive, sometimes even violent, and emotionally immature and unstable. So I've seen two stereotypes that contradict each other. I assume both have some degree of accuracy, but I'm wondering which is the more dominant stereotype in daily reality. 


Local media doesn't help though with its added amount of sensationalized stories often reinforcing these stereotypes. It's like they're wanting to always paint this one-dimensional picture of Thai women that probably doesn't do justice to the real complexities of an actual romantic relationship.


What really matters in any relationship I think are things like shared interests, an emotional connection, and a degree of mutual understanding and willingness to compromise at times when needed. Those are the things that make a relationship work it seems, regardless of cultural backgrounds.


I wonder if others have encountered these stereotypes in their own real life experiences or if in reality it's something completely different in the real world than what I've observed so heavily written about here online. 

There are probably as many different relationships here, as in Western countries.

 

Ans yes, there might be one face for others to see than what's happening at home – just like posting all the good stuff to make face on Facebook – some times I've heard loud arguing from private homes, but I can also hear that from foreign couples living here.

 

However, from my experience and knowledge, many – if not most – of Thai ladies from relative poorer families have been taught from home that a good man is a good provider for a family. "If a man cannot provide, why do I need him!" We had the same in Western countries in old time; in my Scandinavia home country it was often talked about "marriage of convenience" when I was a child and even young. Thai girls are often taught that if a man can provide, love will follow.

 

Foreign men are often considered rich, so they must be good providers, and supplied by success stories from other ladies that found a "rich" farang, they are men to look for; especially aften a broken Thai relationship, where stories are often heard about both drinking and side girls.

 

If women are passive, it might just be the easiest way to co-exist. Often a Thai woman becomes the strong part in a Thai family and the husband is the passive partner, who just sometimes wish to get away and enjoy a little time together with pals. I've also seen many a Thai wife parking their farang-husband in the locals sports bar, where other Thai wives also parks their farang-husbands..

 

Apart from some culture gap, there is probably as many differences as in the Western countries.

 

Sharing common interest – apart from the husband's wallet...:biggrin: – can be very individual. Both age difference and education might be a gap, as well as language. Even if one's girlfriend or wife might speak pretty good English, it might for example be difficult to discuss serious scientific subjects, also if the Western man speaks Thai at some level. Furthermore Thais are mainly interested in Thai subject – "Thailand number one" – not so much about the news or what else happens in the World outside.

 

So if you share Thai subjects as interest, there might be a lot in common.

 

In my view, a good relationship is base on both parties bent a bit to fit with the other party; however, might need to bent a bit more when larger age and/or cultural gaps.

 

Ans yes, I have both encountered your mentioned stereotypes as well as numerous other variants.

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3 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

What about other Thai women?

 

It takes intelligence to troll. 

 

If you truly believe that Thai women know better than Thai men there's something wrong with your head. 

 

Absurd, utterly absurd. 

 

By the way - do you have any idea why? 

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Have you ever noticed how women pride themselves on being excellent judges of character? Your average women regards herself as being born with this superpower. It's a load of cr*p. 

 

What they are good at is fast judgement, a woman will assess you in thirty seconds. That's another "superpower." The problem is, what they are assessing has nothing to do with character. 

 

If they were anywhere near as good at judging character as they think they are the divorce rate would be zero and they would be leading fabulous lives. 

 

Bday Prang is now going to educate us as to why Thai women know Thai women better than Thai men. Bookmark this thread and come back later for a good laugh. 

 

 

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7 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

It takes intelligence to troll. 

 

If you truly believe that Thai women know better than Thai men there's something wrong with your head. 

 

Absurd, utterly absurd. 

 

By the way - do you have any idea why? 

Actually, no  please explain what you find hard to understand, but please limit it to the context of my post, I don't have all day and I'm guessing there is quite a lot you struggle with

You said  "nobody understands Thai women better than Thai men"   

 I asked "what about Thai women?  

And the above is your barely coherent reply?

I'm not quite sure where the "trolling" accusation comes from,  do you seriously think that Thai women do not "understand" what other Thai women are like ?  You are either suffering from learning difficulties which have prevented you from understanding my comment, or you have had little meaningful contact with  Thai women or any other women.  In fact It would be true to say that women generally understand the way other women think far better than any man could

Read slowly before replying this time to save any further embarrassment

 

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4 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

Actually, no  please explain what you find hard to understand, but please limit it to the context of my post, I don't have all day and I'm guessing there is quite a lot you struggle with

You said  "nobody understands Thai women better than Thai men"   

 I asked "what about Thai women?  

And the above is your barely coherent reply?

I'm not quite sure where the "trolling" accusation comes from,  do you seriously think that Thai women do not "understand" what other Thai women are like ?  You are either suffering from learning difficulties which have prevented you from understanding my comment, or you have had little meaningful contact with  Thai women or any other women.  In fact It would be true to say that women generally understand the way other women think far better than any man could

Read slowly before replying this time to save any further embarrassment

 

 

My reply is clear and coherent. 

 

Explain why you think Thai women know other Thai women better than Thai men. 

 

It's a simple request - go ahead. 

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3 minutes ago, theblether said:

Have you ever noticed how women pride themselves on being excellent judges of character? Your average women regards herself as being born with this superpower. It's a load of cr*p. 

 

What they are good at is fast judgement, a woman will assess you in thirty seconds. That's another "superpower." The problem is, what they are assessing has nothing to do with character. 

 

If they were anywhere near as good at judging character as they think they are the divorce rate would be zero and they would be leading fabulous lives. 

 

Bday Prang is now going to educate us as to why Thai women know Thai women better than Thai men. Bookmark this thread and come back later for a good laugh. 

 

 

Bday prang is not going to waste anymore of his time attempting to explain anything to you.  Although it might be worth bookmarking this thread,as your posts are as usual comedy gold 

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2 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

 The poster wrote: "How many Thai men are you friends with that act like well adjusted, mature adults?"

 

"Friends with" is a subjective term, and as I tried to explain in an earlier post, the nature of friendship is not an absolute rigid universal standard (as many Western men seem to believe), and there are many cultural differences in the way men relate to one another. 

 

But if the question was rephrased: "How many Thai men do you know well enough to assess whether they are reasonably well adjusted and mature adults?' then my revised answer would be 'hundreds and hundreds.'

 

Guys who constantly bash Thai men on this forum almost never have the language skills to communicate effectively in Thai, and have drunk too much 'Thai men no good!' bar-girl kool-aid. Earlier on this thread, a poster described most Thai men as 'worthless.' First of all, if that were true, what does it say about the Thai women they associate with if the premise is that every Thai man in her life has no value? It's idiotic to say one's girlfriend/wife is the most wonderful woman they've ever met, but that her grandfather, father, brothers, uncles, sons, grandsons nephews, and every Thai male she ever went to school, worked, or associated with on down are "worthless.: And as far as being lazy, shiftless, and coddled mama's boys, the typical bar stool farang wouldn't last 15 minutes doing the field work Thai farmers do day-in and day-out. 

 

 

To live in a Thai village? Or to exist in a Thai village. 

 

I know a guy who has lived in my village for sixteen years and he emerges from his house once every two weeks. No language skills, no community involvement, no clue. The truth of the matter is that I don't have a problem with that, if he's happy being a hermit that's up to him. And it would be surprising to many how many farang hermits live in Thailand. 

 

And, yes, the work ethic can be astounding. Rough, hard, brutal work in the heat. 

 

The one thing that beats me is the number of farangs that don't understand the level of competition for good village girls is through the roof. You rarely see the prettiest girl in the village in Pattaya as she has been snapped up by the landowners son - assuming she isn't a total headcase. 

 

And the headcases are rejected. One of the prettiest girls in my village is a category one wild child. Lao Kao gangbangs, including taking on four guys in a pond, and jailed three times for yabba possession. If she walked into a Pattaya bar guys would line up for her, but she's a lunatic. 

 

Every Thai guy in the village knows she's a lunatic, and if the barstool farangs had any Thai males pals they would know too. But hey, ho - that's who they date and marry. Som nam na. 

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6 minutes ago, Bday Prang said:

Bday prang is not going to waste anymore of his time attempting to explain anything to you.  Although it might be worth bookmarking this thread,as your posts are as usual comedy gold 

 

Bday Prang has proved he is clueless. 

 

And thanks, I'm a natural. 

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6 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

My reply is clear and coherent. 

 

Explain why you think Thai women know other Thai women better than Thai men. 

 

It's a simple request - go ahead. 

I think the onus is on you, you said "nobody understands Thai women as well as Thai men", I asked "what about other Thai women ?"  you failed to reply, preferring to accuse me of trolling.

Your "clear and coherent" reply was nothing of the sort. and offered no evidence whatsoever in support of your assertion.

 1)   A woman's ability (or lack of) to judge a man's character or the percentage of marriages ending in divorce has absolutely nothing to do with the matter in question,

 2)  many divorced women actually do live fabulous and  fulfilling lives, some  of them even  remarry, but again what has that got to do with your ridiculous assertion that Thai men understand Thai women better than they understand themselves 

 

Do you think you understand women better than other women do ?   

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On 7/1/2024 at 4:37 PM, RSD1 said:

But still not as good as other such captivating topics as toothpaste caps, 

Why not use the brains that God gave you and toss up a topic yourself?

 

I haven't looked in on the toothpaste debate. I have nothing to say, but I don't diss it.

 

I allow 2 hours a day for pointless scrolling (I'm on another forum too). Some threads are best read after they run their course.

 

This one has a lot juicy opinions on thai dating -which I am very unlikely to ever do, but enjoy reading about. Call this a 4 look-in thread.

 

 

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23 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

To live in a Thai village? Or to exist in a Thai village. 

 

I know a guy who has lived in my village for sixteen years and he emerges from his house once every two weeks. No language skills, no community involvement, no clue. The truth of the matter is that I don't have a problem with that, if he's happy being a hermit that's up to him. And it would be surprising to many how many farang hermits live in Thailand. 

 

And, yes, the work ethic can be astounding. Rough, hard, brutal work in the heat. 

 

The one thing that beats me is the number of farangs that don't understand the level of competition for good village girls is through the roof. You rarely see the prettiest girl in the village in Pattaya as she has been snapped up by the landowners son - assuming she isn't a total headcase. 

 

And the headcases are rejected. One of the prettiest girls in my village is a category one wild child. Lao Kao gangbangs, including taking on four guys in a pond, and jailed three times for yabba possession. If she walked into a Pattaya bar guys would line up for her, but she's a lunatic. 

 

Every Thai guy in the village knows she's a lunatic, and if the barstool farangs had any Thai males pals they would know too. But hey, ho - that's who they date and marry. Som nam na. 

You appear to live in a parallel universe, Your posts are a mixture of fantasy and fiction,

 

"The one thing that beats me is the number of farangs that don't understand the level of competition for good village girls is through the roof. You rarely see the prettiest girl in the village in Pattaya as she has been snapped up by the landowners son" :cheesy:

 

I 'm starting to wonder if you have ever actually been to Thailand  

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32 minutes ago, theblether said:

I know a guy who has lived in my village for sixteen years and he emerges from his house once every two weeks. No language skills, no community involvement, no clue. The truth of the matter is that I don't have a problem with that,

You "don't have a problem with that"  Glad to hear it, I mean even though its "your " village it's really none of your business how often people leave their houses, likewise  their language skills and their level of community involvement is also nothing to do with you.   So why even mention it?

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1 hour ago, theblether said:

 

To live in a Thai village? Or to exist in a Thai village. 

 

I know a guy who has lived in my village for sixteen years and he emerges from his house once every two weeks. No language skills, no community involvement, no clue. The truth of the matter is that I don't have a problem with that, if he's happy being a hermit that's up to him. And it would be surprising to many how many farang hermits live in Thailand. 

 

And, yes, the work ethic can be astounding. Rough, hard, brutal work in the heat. 

 

The one thing that beats me is the number of farangs that don't understand the level of competition for good village girls is through the roof. You rarely see the prettiest girl in the village in Pattaya as she has been snapped up by the landowners son - assuming she isn't a total headcase. 

 

And the headcases are rejected. One of the prettiest girls in my village is a category one wild child. Lao Kao gangbangs, including taking on four guys in a pond, and jailed three times for yabba possession. If she walked into a Pattaya bar guys would line up for her, but she's a lunatic. 

 

Every Thai guy in the village knows she's a lunatic, and if the barstool farangs had any Thai males pals they would know too. But hey, ho - that's who they date and marry. Som nam na. 

 

You've made some very interesting observations. 

 

You're right that most guys out in the countryside seem to be homebodies, and I am one as well. I don't consider myself a hermit but the homebody lifestyle comes naturally to the rural lifestyle. In the past few years I've been on this kick about trying to be a better neighbor, which mainly has consisted of planting extra food in the vegetable garden and giving it away to many of the households in my immediate area. This has really helped develop a sense of giving back to the community and developing goodwill and more neighborly relations. With all the anti-immigrant sentiment circling the globe these days, I also look at it as investment in case there's ever a pogrom in Thailand.

 

When you get in sync with the rhythm of the village, that's when you see just how hard people are working. Someone who sleeps in until 10 am can be oblivious that someone's been up since 4 in the morning loading a truck or working on a tractor engine. Just working in my garden for 3-4 a day, with the luxury of cooling off in the house any time I feel like it is exhausting enough. I have nothing but the highest level of respect for anyone who puts in 8 hours a day or more doing field work.

 

My observation about village women isn't necessarily that they're necessarily all beauty queens or rocket scientists, but where they excel is having sunny dispositions, being affable, and being committed to the marriage long term. The vast majority are hard working, don't smoke, do not drink heavily, have outgoing personalities, and manage the household finances well.  You constantly hear on this forum that Thai men are prone to doing runners after starting families, but what people don't realize is how truly dependent farming husbands and wives are on each other. The wife is dependent on the husband to operate the farm, and the husband is dependent on his wife to manage the household and raise the children. Somebody bails out on the marriage in that situation, both parties are dramatically worse off. Quite an incentive to stay in the marriage.

 

I can't say I'm strongly sexually attracted to many women in the village, but the vast majority seem like they are fulfilling their wifely duties,  they all have nice personalities and charm and the husbands seem to be content.  I do not hear reports of domestic violence, and there are very few screaming matches, that sort of thing.

 

While many of the prettiest and academically on the ball young women head to big cities for school or work, you're right in saying that it's kids from neglected and dysfunctional families who are most likely to end up in red-light districts. It's an obscene lie for people to say that farm girls are regularly pushed into that lifestyle by avaricious parents. Only in the most dysfunctional families, usually scarred by drug abuse, alcoholism, or multi-generational prostitution does that occur.

 

My next door neighbor, Laem, who now only comes home at irregular intervals after taking a truck-driving job with Izuzu, used to tell me some really juicy stories about people in town. 

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On 7/1/2024 at 3:48 PM, theblether said:

I can't really be bothered getting into this topic. I will say one thing. Age compatibility is key to the love element. 

 

I know plenty of couples who are more or less the same age and almost all have loving relationships as far as I can see. I know many young couples raising families. Of course, you still see some relationship breakdowns, it's real life. 

 

I see plenty of older couples, that met later in life, who do very well. If you genuinely are seeking a loving long term relationship then age compatability is a foundational key to success. This is the same all over the world. 

 

One aspect of Thai culture ( not exclusive to Thailand, China etc is the same ) is the "leftover effect." It used to be the case that to be unmarried by 25/26 rendered women as maidens. 

 

That figure has crept up to around 30 these days, certainly no more than early 30's. 

 

Keep your eye open and you'll see bizarrely rapid marriages occur at that age bracket. In effect, arranged marriages are common where literally families trade adult "kids." 

 

The relevance to farangs is that Thai women in their twenties are still in Princess mode. By mid 30's they are firmly in reality mode. 

 

Thais don't like seeing 60 year old Thai men with twenty-somethings, but they don't blink when she is thirty-odd. They know the score with both set ups. 

 

Hence they detest old farangs taking up with young women but the underlying mockery is that these same farangs hoover up the lowest class women in the country. 

 

And that's a brutal truth that escapes many farangs. They are laughing at you. 

 

Thais ain't stupid. They are extremely socially aware ( please tell me you knew that ) and they spot compatibility ( or lack of ) a mile off. 

 

And age is a fundamental part of that equation. 

 

Let me get some popcorn cos no doubt this thread will descend into "my girl is different" bs. 

 

No, she's not. She's embarrassed to be seen with you. And if you could speak Thai you'd hear the running commentary. 

 

One of the funniest I witnessed was an old galoot doing his best Cheshire cat impression as the Thai girls ridiculed his lady for going with an old man. Her simple one-liner was "I need the money" which was met with hilarity - and the old galoot never knew he was the butt of the joke. 

 

I know some of you will crack up at this comment. Large age differences up yk age 30 are recipes for disaster. After 30 the rules and chances of success change. 

 

Until you meet the Wivked Witches that can't believe you are stupid enough to date them and they treat you accordingly. 

 

Aye, dating - its a hard life. 

You all think too much....55555.

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29 minutes ago, theblether said:

 

Come on, man - no one is this stupid. 

 

"She said I was the best thing that ever happened to her." 

 

What are you, fourteen? 

 

Wake up. 

Another sad expat who has been screwed by the wrong Thai lady

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