Thai mum’s advice on handling bullying praised by parents online

[snoop1130]

 

A three year old girl returned from school in tears, asking her mother if she could fight back when being hit. Her mother’s response was praised online and encouraged her to seek help from teachers instead of retaliation.

 

The story, shared by the girl’s family, detailed an incident involving Li (a pseudonym) and her daughter, who recently started kindergarten. One day, upon picking her up from school, Li noticed her daughter crying and asked what had happened. After some coaxing, the child asked, “Can I stay home from school tomorrow?”

 

The mother, sensing a problem, gently inquired further. The daughter revealed she was often hit by a classmate and had been struck on the head with a toy that day. She then asked, “Mummy, when I get hit, can I hit back?”

 

Li, deeply pained by the news of her daughter being bullied, had always prioritised her children’s education and taught her youngest not to steal toys or food and to avoid fights. She never imagined her child would become a victim in the classroom. Despite her initial distress, Li composed herself and provided a thoughtful response.

 

 

“Are you sure you want to fight with your classmate? You might get hurt even more. What I want you to remember is that fighting back is not the best way to solve problems. But I don’t want you to just endure it either. If something like this happens again, tell your teacher.”

 

This story, once shared on social media, garnered significant attention from parents. Li’s response was widely praised for its wisdom. She acknowledged her child’s suffering but also rejected the idea of her daughter using violence, instead promoting seeking support from adults.

 

Social activities

 

As children engage in social activities at school, they may encounter bullying. Some parents teach their children to ignore such issues, which can lead to long-term psychological harm, damaging their self-confidence and leaving them unsure of how to protect themselves.

 

Conversely, some parents encourage their children to fight back, but violence is not an effective solution. It often escalates tensions and can lead to further isolation for the child.

 

By Sarishti Arora

Picture courtesy of Liv Bruce from unsplash.com

 

Source: The Thaiger 2024-07-15

 

Get our Daily Newsletter - Click HERE to subscribe

[BangkokReady]

"If someone bullies you, tell your teacher!"  "Praised by parents online."

 

🙄

[MalcolmB]

Bullying at school is a part of life and is character building. 
 

it hardens them up for life in the real world.
 

These days in the west unfortunately kids are too sensitive and end up shooting Donald Trump in the head.

Donald Trump was also said to have been a bully. Maybe it was karma.

[Pouatchee]

BIGGEST reason bullying is going on in schools is because of incompetent teachers. they see it happening, or they hear about it from the kids but fail to do anything about it. 

[motdaeng]

1 hour ago, MalcolmB said:

Bullying at school is a part of life and is character building. 
 

it hardens them up for life in the real world.
 

These days in the west unfortunately kids are too sensitive and end up shooting Donald Trump in the head.

Donald Trump was also said to have been a bully. Maybe it was karma.

 

why does your post not surprise me? you regularly drink and drive, think that's okay, and don't care about

the people who get injured / killed because of DUI ...

 

there's really something wrong with some people, and you are definitely one of them!

[MalcolmB]

2 hours ago, motdaeng said:

and don't care about

the people who get injured / killed because of DUI

I do care about people who get injured and die because of DUI which is why I drive very safely after a few beers and not like a reckless drunken idiot.

 

Bullying is a terrible thing and I can admit I am ashamed of some of the stuff we did at school, but kids don’t have those filters and that it is why it happens and it does make you stronger. I was bullied and I was a bully, I think most people would be in that category but most won’t admit that of course. 
 

I have been bullied a lot since joining this forum, seemingly I am the only one honest enough to put up my hand to DUI, but it is water off a ducks back, partly due to being bullied myself. Gives you a thicker skin.

[Chris Daley]

Little Li has been attacking people by the sounds of it.  Kids are liars.  Constant liars.

 

When I first started teaching I had the misfortune to work with children.  I had one of them grab their leg and dive to the ground.  She did it so many times we ignored her.  Another one said to me "If you don't let me play with the princess house, I'm gonna get you fired."

 

Edited July 15 by Chris Daley

[SABloke]

"Bullying" is targeted and repeated negative behaviours towards an individual. A 3 year old accidentally or otherwise hitting another kid with a toy is naughty at most. This article is really fishing. 😒

[hotchilli]

11 hours ago, Pouatchee said:

BIGGEST reason bullying is going on in schools is because of incompetent teachers. they see it happening, or they hear about it from the kids but fail to do anything about it. 

Bullying in the playground has been around since schools opened... telling the teacher sometimes works, but usually gets you beaten harder the next day.

 

[klauskunkel]

"Be water, my friend." - Bruce Lee

(and carry nunchaku in your back pocket)

Edited July 16 by klauskunkel

[Pouatchee]

3 hours ago, hotchilli said:

Bullying in the playground has been around since schools opened... telling the teacher sometimes works, but usually gets you beaten harder the next day.

 

 

that depends on the teachers' willingness to get involved. if an offence is serious enough and parents are called in i can tell you from experience that the bully-er [sic] will think twice before bullying again. when i was growing up the teachers preferred to stay in the staff room drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. nowadays, they are glued to their mobiles. i forgot to mention... the BIGGEST problem is admin and their lack of support and implementation/enforcement of discipline policies here, in thailand.

 

i had a student tell me, 'mueng gwanteen' once and it took admin 3 months to get the boy to apologise. only reason he did is cos i did not relent. by that time the apology meant nothing

[TroubleandGrumpy]

Total BS - if a kid does not fight back, they will be teased relentlessly by some bullies.  Most school mass shooters (and Trump's shooter) were teased very badly at school and were mentally damaged by it.

 

All my kids were taught from a very young age, that you never hit anyone at school unless they hit you first, and this is how to throw a punch (hitting Dad's bag).  I told them all that if anyone does hit you, then you hit them with everything you have and dont stop until they are down - and then say nothing to the teachers, other than they hit me first. Youngest daughter was a friend of someone that was being bullied - she defended her and told the bully to go away. The bully slapped her face and the daughter did as taught. The call to attend school sounded like she had killed the kid - but she fell and hit her head when punched and had some blood from a cut. The VP immediately starting yelling at me when I arrived and I immediately told her to back away and let me talk to my daughter alone - now.  She reluctantly did so, and after listening to what happened I told the daughter that she was was all good but she needed to stay quiet while I then spoke to the VP and sorted it all out. Done - no suspension and no apology. My daughter and her friends were never touched again.

 

Turning the other cheek is BS and sometimes results in mentally damaged children who become mentally damaged adults.

[brianthainess]

13 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I was bullied and I was a bully, I think most people would be in that category but most won’t admit that of course. 

Your Thinking is wrong, Most people are not bullies, I hope you got what you deserved.

The bullies in my school were all from the lower forms, who had very little intelligence.

I'll say no more.

[Almer]

Well I dissgrea, if you come up against a bully sit them in there ass in front of all there friends

[fredwiggy]

17 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Bullying at school is a part of life and is character building. 
 

it hardens them up for life in the real world.
 

These days in the west unfortunately kids are too sensitive and end up shooting Donald Trump in the head.

Donald Trump was also said to have been a bully. Maybe it was karma.

Bullying is done by those that are being bullied at home. A child learns that violence is the answer if they do something wrong, and thinks they can do the same things to others. Abuse is illegal and needs to be stopped immediately. It doesn't "harden" up people but make them have low self esteem, anger kept inside out of fear of retaliation, and many take their own lives because of this, as it causes depression and anxiety. A bully needs to be stopped as soon as possible and taught other ways to vent his or her anger. I know a bully from high school who picked on many people. He later got married and abused his wife. This person ran over cats with a  lawnmower when he was living at home. Obviously something was going wrong in his family. Bullies many times end up dead or in prison because no one taught them a better way. It doesn't start out as their fault but they will be held responsible eventually. Standing up to a bully is what needs to be done, although many are afraid. Others have helped many who are being bullied, standing by their side, and this also needs to be done. Bullies back off when they are confronted. They live on fear.

[fredwiggy]

32 minutes ago, TroubleandGrumpy said:

Total BS - if a kid does not fight back, they will be teased relentlessly by some bullies.  Most school mass shooters (and Trump's shooter) were teased very badly at school and were mentally damaged by it.

 

All my kids were taught from a very young age, that you never hit anyone at school unless they hit you first, and this is how to throw a punch (hitting Dad's bag).  I told them all that if anyone does hit you, then you hit them with everything you have and dont stop until they are down - and then say nothing to the teachers, other than they hit me first. Youngest daughter was a friend of someone that was being bullied - she defended her and told the bully to go away. The bully slapped her face and the daughter did as taught. The call to attend school sounded like she had killed the kid - but she fell and hit her head when punched and had some blood from a cut. The VP immediately starting yelling at me when I arrived and I immediately told her to back away and let me talk to my daughter alone - now.  She reluctantly did so, and after listening to what happened I told the daughter that she was was all good but she needed to stay quiet while I then spoke to the VP and sorted it all out. Done - no suspension and no apology. My daughter and her friends were never touched again.

 

Turning the other cheek is BS and sometimes results in mentally damaged children who become mentally damaged adults.

Pretty much what I'm teaching my 7 year old now. Teachers many tines won't do anything when this happens, especially here where many still carry sticks themselves to whack the kids when they are out of line, as my daughter's teacher did in front of me last week to three students she was teaching in front of her desk.

[MalcolmB]

26 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

Your Thinking is wrong, Most people are not bullies, I hope you got what you deserved.

The bullies in my school were all from the lower forms, who had very little intelligence.

I'll say no more.

We had a massively fat kid with a fatter mum and a really dorky kid like the Trump shooter. They were drawn together probably by the bullying.

 

i didn’t cop it anything like those two. I am ashamed of what was done to them.

I wonder how they ended up.

[MalcolmB]

6 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Bullying is done by those that are being bullied at home. A child learns that violence is the answer if they do something wrong, and thinks they can do the same things to others. Abuse is illegal and needs to be stopped immediately. It doesn't "harden" up people but make them have low self esteem, anger kept inside out of fear of retaliation, and many take their own lives because of this, as it causes depression and anxiety. A bully needs to be stopped as soon as possible and taught other ways to vent his or her anger. I know a bully from high school who picked on many people. He later got married and abused his wife. This person ran over cats with a  lawnmower when he was living at home. Obviously something was going wrong in his family. Bullies many times end up dead or in prison because no one taught them a better way. It doesn't start out as their fault but they will be held responsible eventually. Standing up to a bully is what needs to be done, although many are afraid. Others have helped many who are being bullied, standing by their side, and this also needs to be done. Bullies back off when they are confronted. They live on fear.

Bullying is not only physical. 
I don’t think I was naturally a bully, but there is peer pressure to join in. And the majority of us did. 
seems once again I am the only one honest enough here to put my hand up and admit it, so the AN PC bullies will be on to me. 

[brianthainess]

3 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

We had a massively fat kid with a fatter mum and a really dorky kid like the Trump shooter. They were drawn together probably by the bullying.

 

i didn’t cop it anything like those two. I am ashamed of what was done to them.

I wonder how they ended up.

You should be ashamed, they probably ended up with more intelligence than you and got really well paid jobs that needed intellect.

[fredwiggy]

2 minutes ago, MalcolmB said:

Bullying is not only physical. 
I don’t think I was naturally a bully, but there is peer pressure to join in. And the majority of us did. 
seems once again I am the only one honest enough here to put my hand up and admit it, so the AN PC bullies will be on to me. 

Admitting it is fine, especially if you understand it was wrong. Saying it makes you hard is wrong. I was picked on by that same bully, and I wanted to hurt him for a long time. I got into weight training after high school and saw him years later when I was buff. Just looked at me and smiled and I said hey. It didn't matter much anymore although I did daydream about finishing him off a lot afterwards. I knew why he did it and he never got over it because of the way he treated his wife later. I myself, along with a friend, used to run after a boy who couldn't walk well and pushed him down. We stopped, but it bothered me for a long time after what we did.

Edited July 16 by fredwiggy

[Liverpool Lou]

13 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

I drive very safely after a few beers and not like a reckless drunken idiot.

 

Cobblers, your being intoxicated, that is what you think you are doing.

[MalcolmB]

4 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

You should be ashamed, they probably ended up with more intelligence than you and got really well paid jobs that needed intellect.

Yes I said I was ashamed. They were both more intelligent than me. Most of my class was.

I just looked them up but couldn’t find anything. Fatty is probably dead.

[Photoguy21]

17 hours ago, MalcolmB said:

Bullying at school is a part of life and is character building. 
 

it hardens them up for life in the real world.
 

These days in the west unfortunately kids are too sensitive and end up shooting Donald Trump in the head.

Donald Trump was also said to have been a bully. Maybe it was karma.

What happened to your character?

[MalcolmB]

4 minutes ago, fredwiggy said:

Admitting it is fine, especially if you understand it was wrong. Saying it makes you hard is wrong. I was picked on by that same bully, and I wanted to hurt him for a long time. I got into weight training after high school and saw him years later when I was buff. Just looked at me and smiled and I said hey. It didn't matter much anymore although I did daydream about finishing him off a lot afterwards. I knew why he did it and he never got over it because of the way he treated his wife later.

I was physically bullied by two kids that I can remember. One older, one a lot bigger.

The older one got murdered in his 30s. 
I really think I benefitted from it in a way. 
a girlfriend cheating on you is another painful life experience that makes you stronger also in my opinion.

[MalcolmB]

1 minute ago, Photoguy21 said:

What happened to your character?

Overall I have had a blessed life, so no complaints. 

[Liverpool Lou]

44 minutes ago, Almer said:

Well I dissgrea, if you come up against a bully sit them in there ass in front of all there friends

What?

[MalcolmB]

7 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

Cobblers, your being intoxicated, that is what you think you are doing.

When I read your comments I think of someone being bullied badly.

From their sisters. 
I think having brothers makes you stronger also.

[Liverpool Lou]

13 minutes ago, brianthainess said:

You should be ashamed, they probably ended up with more intelligence than you and got really well paid jobs that needed intellect.

Well said.

[Liverpool Lou]

1 minute ago, MalcolmB said:

When I read your comments I think of someone being bullied badly.

From their sisters. 
I think having brothers makes you stronger also.

"When I read your comments I think of..."

Your comment says a lot about your interpretation of "thinking".

[MalcolmB]

7 minutes ago, Liverpool Lou said:

"When I read your comments I think of..."

Your comment says a lot about your interpretation of "thinking".

I think I nailed it.

you have no brothers and a sister or two.