The benefits of living alone as an older man

[Scouse123]

14 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

What purpose do you think any old person has?

 

 

Family?, children?, grandchildren?, assisting their offspring?

 

Trying to do something useful and beneficial in their lives, instead of just pissing it against the wall in Pattaya and Phuket?

[JimTripper]

34 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

What purpose do you think any old person has?

Same as when you were young. Age is only a number.

[advancebooking]

17 hours ago, Lacessit said:

One of the reasons for the breakup of my second long-term relationship were her two children. She doted on them.

 

OTOH, I thought they were overindulged, spoiled little sh!ts. Well, not so little.

 

 

My wife is doing the same to my 10 yr old. Almost too much love. I wasnt bought up like that. My parents rarely showed it. Maybe thats why I have so many issues? The bond my wife and child has is incredible. 

[BritManToo]

36 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

Same as when you were young. Age is only a number.

Obviously for me it is, as I have a younger wife and 12yo son, but for most retired people single, no kids, no need to work, no purpose in life.

[Lacessit]

6 minutes ago, advancebooking said:

My wife is doing the same to my 10 yr old. Almost too much love. I wasnt bought up like that. My parents rarely showed it. Maybe thats why I have so many issues? The bond my wife and child has is incredible. 

If you have issues, here is not the place to get them sorted. Get professional help, I am not saying that as a put-down.

 

I'd say I was brought up with love. However, my parents made it quite clear if I wanted something, I had to earn it for myself.

 

An example of over-indulgence in my second long-term relationship was the son getting fined twice in the same day for speeding, about 25 km/hr over the limit. She paid the fines for him.

[JimTripper]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Obviously for me it is, as I have a younger wife and 12yo son, but for most retired people single, no kids, no need to work, no purpose in life.

There's more to life then kids, a wife & work.

[Kinok Farang]

On 9/4/2024 at 9:22 AM, Lacessit said:

I am betting the nagging marrieds were in the same age bracket. Not much point to that, both are equally vulnerable.

 

My GF is 23 years younger than me.

 

I asked her once what she would do, if I started going poopy in my trousers. Her response was " No problem. I can do".

So she will go poopy in her trousers too?

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

What purpose do you think any old person has?

I make YouTube videos. I edit collections of classical music, selecting and combining what I think are the best movements. I experiment with food combinations, and add to my autobiography ( 166,000 words ) occasionally.

 

I suppose it depends on whether one thinks they still have something to contribute, or are content to wait for death.

 

Here's a short example:

 

 

[JimTripper]

35 minutes ago, advancebooking said:

My wife is doing the same to my 10 yr old. Almost too much love. I wasnt bought up like that. My parents rarely showed it. Maybe thats why I have so many issues? The bond my wife and child has is incredible. 

18 hours ago, Lacessit said:

One of the reasons for the breakup of my second long-term relationship were her two children. She doted on them.

 

OTOH, I thought they were overindulged, spoiled little sh!ts. Well, not so little.

 

That could be a problem if you're getting distanced and they are getting closer.

 

It could be "parentification" whereby the child is symbolically put into a husband role, either through intimate conversations where you are left out, or just by undue attention.

 

They grow up on a kind of pedestal and you end up resenting it because you are left out and get angry or jealous at the child or wife.

 

Alternatively, you embrace it and the kid grows up feeling more responsible then they should (like a husband should be) and the wife starts relying on the kid emotionally as they grow older.

 

The older son may have difficulty forming satisfying relationships with women later on because they are too attached to the mother figure, or because they resent the undue emotional responsibility they feel towards women or the mother figure.

[simon43]

Living alone, I do try to minimise the risk of having a serious accident. 

 

Ground floor accommodation, no stairs.

I always hold onto support/walls in the bathroom - I have read too many reportsof expats slipping/hitting their head and dying, especially when drunk

 

My primary risk is climbing ladders/trees to install my radio ham antennas - I have suffered broken ribs, cheek bone, torn arm tendons etc from previous falls or attempts to lift heavy antennas.  Now I have a safety jacket/belt with rope to tie myself to the tree!

[BritManToo]

11 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I make YouTube videos. I edit collections of classical music, selecting and combining what I think are the best movements. I experiment with food combinations, and add to my autobiography ( 166,000 words ) occasionally.

 

I suppose it depends on whether one thinks they still have something to contribute, or are content to wait for death.

Here's a short example:

More like pointless 'make work' to pass the time.

[Lacessit]

2 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

More like pointless 'make work' to pass the time.

It may be pointless to you.

 

Perhaps you can explain to me the point of getting p!ssed every day, starting early in the morning with wine coolers.

 

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

It may be pointless to you.

 

Perhaps you can explain to me the point of getting p!ssed every day, starting early in the morning with wine coolers.

 

Yes I agree, old people (including me) lead a pointless existence.

But at least I'm not pretending  my uploads to tiktok are a real life.

[Lacessit]

8 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yes I agree, old people (including me) lead a pointless existence.

But at least I'm not pretending  my uploads to tiktok are a real life.

YouTube. I don't use TikTok.

 

Possibly I am pretending. IMO healthier than screwing up my liver, stomach, esophagus and kidneys daily with a Class 1 carcinogen.

 

I've seen several people die here from alcohol in various ways. It's never pretty.

 

 

[Lacessit]

27 minutes ago, simon43 said:

Living alone, I do try to minimise the risk of having a serious accident. 

 

Ground floor accommodation, no stairs.

I always hold onto support/walls in the bathroom - I have read too many reportsof expats slipping/hitting their head and dying, especially when drunk

 

My primary risk is climbing ladders/trees to install my radio ham antennas - I have suffered broken ribs, cheek bone, torn arm tendons etc from previous falls or attempts to lift heavy antennas.  Now I have a safety jacket/belt with rope to tie myself to the tree!

Your prime risk is a hip fracture.

 

The average life expectancy for someone over 70, who breaks a hip, is 6 months.

[Lacessit]

37 minutes ago, JimTripper said:

 

 

 

The older son may have difficulty forming satisfying relationships with women later on because they are too attached to the mother figure, or because they resent the undue emotional responsibility they feel towards women or the mother figure.

The son of my former partner went through women like Kleenexes. Handsome, a narcissist, did the little boy lost routine.

 

I remember him staying with us with a brand-new Canadian wife. The marriage lasted 4 weeks.

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I've seen several people die here from alcohol in various ways. It's never pretty.

 

Death is never pretty.

Most of the people I know that die of old age, died screaming in pain.

[Lacessit]

Just now, BritManToo said:

Death is never pretty.

Most of the people I know that die of old age, died screaming in pain.

I won't. I'll just fall asleep.

[Cameroni]

34 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Yes I agree, old people (including me) lead a pointless existence.

But at least I'm not pretending  my uploads to tiktok are a real life.

 

Speak for yourself BritmanToo, when I found Lacessit's Youtube channel it changed my life.

 

Now I know Spanish tortilla and sourdough bread can be combined, no matter what the naysayers say.

 

Thank you Lacessit for bringing beauty and purpose to my life with your Youtube channel

[JimTripper]

21 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

The son of my former partner went through women like Kleenexes. Handsome, a narcissist, did the little boy lost routine.

 

I remember him staying with us with a brand-new Canadian wife. The marriage lasted 4 weeks.

Meeting parents with a new partner can make or break a relationship, especially aging parents that need support and care.

 

A whole new can of worms is opened when your partner needs to focus on them, because the early problems in upbringing are typically still present and unresolved. That means the "outside non-core" partner needs to adjust accordingly.

 

To give one example: A sibling may want to move aging parents into the family home, because they feel responsible due to being placed in a caretaker or overly responsible role in childhood (parentification). The partner may resent this because they don't feel it's their responsibility and it detracts from their relationship and own family.

 

So the same dynamic from childhood is actually re-created while the members are much older. The partner lavishes attention on the parent and the other partner feels resentment because it's overkill.

[FarangFB]

I wonder if it would be possible to find a Thai lady that would:

- Clean the house, do the laundry

- Keep track and shop for the items (food, hygiene, cleaning etc)
- Keep track and pay bills
- Deal with services/technicians when needed (internet, aircon)
- Take action when there is a medical situation, know the basics of first aid

- Speak good English

- Not bring friends/guys/family over. Not be an alcoholic

- Honest, trustworthy

 

NOT be a wife/gf, no sex, not be jealous of anything.

 

I reckon a person like that would deserve a pretty good monthly salary, if I was older and alone I would pay north of 50k/month for that.

[NanLaew]

On 9/4/2024 at 9:22 AM, Lacessit said:

I asked her once what she would do, if I started going poopy in my trousers. Her response was " No problem. I can do".

 

Great. So now there are two pairs of poopy trousers to deal with.

[freedomnow]

4 hours ago, Speedhump said:

My wife of over 45 years died last year. I'm content alone at home but understand I must force myself to go out and socialise, at least with a few friends. It's proven that mental health is affected by constant isolation, even if I feel fine at home alone with my memories right now.

Correct, good varied social connections will keep you grounded.

[georgegeorgia]

3 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I make YouTube videos. I edit collections of classical music, selecting and combining what I think are the best movements. I experiment with food combinations, and add to my autobiography ( 166,000 words ) occasionally.

 

I suppose it depends on whether one thinks they still have something to contribute, or are content to wait for death.

 

Here's a short example:

 

 

Love it 😁 

[Lacessit]

4 hours ago, FarangFB said:

I wonder if it would be possible to find a Thai lady that would:

- Clean the house, do the laundry

- Keep track and shop for the items (food, hygiene, cleaning etc)
- Keep track and pay bills
- Deal with services/technicians when needed (internet, aircon)
- Take action when there is a medical situation, know the basics of first aid

- Speak good English

- Not bring friends/guys/family over. Not be an alcoholic

- Honest, trustworthy

 

NOT be a wife/gf, no sex, not be jealous of anything.

 

I reckon a person like that would deserve a pretty good monthly salary, if I was older and alone I would pay north of 50k/month for that.

I know one, except AFAIK she would not know first aid.

 

A retired nurse sounds like what you would want.

[maesariang]

6 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I make YouTube videos. I edit collections of classical music, selecting and combining what I think are the best movements. I experiment with food combinations, and add to my autobiography ( 166,000 words ) occasionally.

 

I suppose it depends on whether one thinks they still have something to contribute, or are content to wait for death.

 

Here's a short example:

 

 

Sounds like the music I heard at the last funeral.

[cobra]

For many the simple presence of another person in their life may be simply to check up on them, in whatever capacity.

This may be more for peace of mind than actual need.

 

The perceived embarrassment or humiliation that their dead body is not going to be discovered for days, weeks, maybe longer because they were utterly alone is enough to induce one to some kind of living arrangement, well-check, etc.

 

The fact is you're dead, no need to worry about the gossip, or what people think anymore.

Scores of elderly die everyday in run-down tenements, only to be discovered by the landlord due to the odor coming from the dwelling. 

 

I for one will simply go on until I don't, and that will be that, my apologies to neighbors for the smell  😉 

[maesariang]

I was staying in this hotel with gf. Gf went to hospital with mother for day. Cleaning staff were asking me where was my gf? I was wondering why. Maybe they just see an opportunity and take it. I think it would be hard to stay alone. Options everywhere.

[Hummin]

1 minute ago, maesariang said:

I was staying in this hotel with gf. Gf went to hospital with mother for day. Cleaning staff were asking me where was my gf? I was wondering why. Maybe they just see an opportunity and take it. I think it would be hard to stay alone. Options everywhere.

Why you think they would use you? 

 

It is normal to give the ladies time to clean the room, and not disturb them. Maybe they worried being there with you alone. Understandable 

[maesariang]

1 minute ago, Hummin said:

Why you think they would use you? 

 

It is normal to give the ladies time to clean the room, and not disturb them. Maybe they worried being there with you alone. Understandable 

The question was asked like she wanted to know. She had already seen the bathroom was empty. Either trying to be friendly or nosey or wanted something.