Went into the Jomtien branch because I got a new phone and it wouldn't let me do the simple transfer I read about so many guys getting to do; tells me I have to go to a branch.  omg

 

Upon entering I see a sign that talks about the things you need to go upstairs to accomplish, e.g., new passbook, new account, etc.  Nowhere on this list is anything to do with new phones.

 

So I take my number and patiently wait.

 

Fifteen minutes, exactly, to find out that, yes, new phones need to go upstairs too.  I've been in Thailand for years, I get it about the smile.  I did that.  I simply made a suggestion that perhaps "new phones" should go on the list, and for that, I get a super stressed response that is no doubt her venting frustrations from the customers before.  Fine.

 

So I go upstairs.  I patiently wait maybe thirty minutes this time, only slightly stewing over the fact that had I not been made to wait earlier it'd be me at the desk right now instead of Mr. Really-Huge-Folder-Of-Stuff-To-Do.

 

Anyways, I make it to the desk.  The reason I couldn't do a simple upgrade?  Apparently because I needed to submit to their facial recognition protocol.

 

Do you know what this is?  This is a woman standing next to you shoving your phone in your face barking orders at you at how you're supposed to look into the camera.  I was totally unprepared for this.  It was as if the spirit of the woman I had only been subjected to minutes earlier had leaped from that body to this one and now had a weapon in her hand AND IT'S MY NEW PHONE!  wtf

 

The software wasn't working, and she was getting really angry (and she was already angry before I sat down.)  Eventually I figured it out: it gives you a prompt -- like smile, or blink -- but it changes as the image it is receiving changes.  So she points the phone at herself, sees one prompt, then shoves the thing in my face, at which point the prompt has changed.  It's telling me to do one thing, she's telling me to do another.

 

It used to be amazing going to Bangkok Bank.  One of my enduring memories of Thailand will always be the big branch at Silom where I opened my accounts and where I remember being treated like I was some kind of big shot simply because I opened a Foreign Currency Deposit account.  Many years ago of course.

 

Now it is the thing to most dread when renewing my visa.

 

And just so you all don't have to go through what I went through, the correct sequence of facial expressions to make it through Bangkok Bank's facial recognition protocol is:

 

Smile

Cower

Blink

Cower

Smile

Growl

Grimace

Blink

Cry

Cower

Smile

 

Always here for you.

8 minutes ago, JustThisOnePostOnly said:

Went into the Jomtien branch because I got a new phone and it wouldn't let me do the simple transfer I read about so many guys getting to do; tells me I have to go to a branch.  omg

 

Upon entering I see a sign that talks about the things you need to go upstairs to accomplish, e.g., new passbook, new account, etc.  Nowhere on this list is anything to do with new phones.

 

So I take my number and patiently wait.

 

Fifteen minutes, exactly, to find out that, yes, new phones need to go upstairs too.  I've been in Thailand for years, I get it about the smile.  I did that.  I simply made a suggestion that perhaps "new phones" should go on the list, and for that, I get a super stressed response that is no doubt her venting frustrations from the customers before.  Fine.

 

So I go upstairs.  I patiently wait maybe thirty minutes this time, only slightly stewing over the fact that had I not been made to wait earlier it'd be me at the desk right now instead of Mr. Really-Huge-Folder-Of-Stuff-To-Do.

 

Anyways, I make it to the desk.  The reason I couldn't do a simple upgrade?  Apparently because I needed to submit to their facial recognition protocol.

 

Do you know what this is?  This is a woman standing next to you shoving your phone in your face barking orders at you at how you're supposed to look into the camera.  I was totally unprepared for this.  It was as if the spirit of the woman I had only been subjected to minutes earlier had leaped from that body to this one and now had a weapon in her hand AND IT'S MY NEW PHONE!  wtf

 

The software wasn't working, and she was getting really angry (and she was already angry before I sat down.)  Eventually I figured it out: it gives you a prompt -- like smile, or blink -- but it changes as the image it is receiving changes.  So she points the phone at herself, sees one prompt, then shoves the thing in my face, at which point the prompt has changed.  It's telling me to do one thing, she's telling me to do another.

 

It used to be amazing going to Bangkok Bank.  One of my enduring memories of Thailand will always be the big branch at Silom where I opened my accounts and where I remember being treated like I was some kind of big shot simply because I opened a Foreign Currency Deposit account.  Many years ago of course.

 

Now it is the thing to most dread when renewing my visa.

 

And just so you all don't have to go through what I went through, the correct sequence of facial expressions to make it through Bangkok Bank's facial recognition protocol is:

 

Smile

Cower

Blink

Cower

Smile

Growl

Grimace

Blink

Cry

Cower

Smile

 

Always here for you.

Crikey, rant of the week. 

 

To top of your day you should pop into immigration and say hello, just a few metres away, around the corner. 

 

Lots of miserable people (foreigners and Thai's) in there 😂

 

 

Closed at request of OP.