Are You A Sexpat Or Do You Ride The Backwards Morality Train?

[Andrew65]

17 minutes ago, FriscoKid said:

Sexpat: The term sexpat is a portmanteau of “sex” and “expat” (short for expatriate) and refers to a person, typically a man, who relocates or frequently travels to foreign countries with the primary or significant purpose of engaging in sexual activities, often with local women. The term is often used pejoratively to describe individuals who exploit socio-economic disparities, especially in developing countries, to engage in sex tourism or exploitative relationships.

 

Sexpats may move to or visit regions where they believe sexual relationships are easier to obtain, cheaper, or involve fewer legal or social consequences. The term is commonly associated with certain parts of Southeast Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, though it can apply to any region.

 

The concept is criticized for perpetuating inequality, exploiting vulnerable populations, and sometimes contributing to human trafficking or the sex trade.

 

While sexpat and sex tourist are related terms, they describe different types of behavior, and the distinction between the two generally revolves around duration, intent, and the nature of the relationship to the host country.

 

1. Sex Tourist

 

• Definition: A sex tourist is typically someone who travels to a foreign country for a short period specifically to engage in sexual activities, often with locals who work in the sex trade.

• Characteristics:

• Short-term travel: A sex tourist might visit a country for a week or two, with a primary or secondary goal of participating in the local sex industry.

• No long-term commitment to the location: They don’t typically establish a permanent residence in the country they visit.

• Purely transactional: Interactions are typically brief and often focused on paid sexual encounters, with little to no intent of forming relationships.

• Focus on Exploitation: The term is often used negatively, associated with people who exploit economic disparities in developing nations to engage in cheap or easily accessible sex.

 

2. Sexpat

 

• Definition: A sexpat is an expatriate—someone who has moved or lives abroad—who has a lifestyle that revolves around engaging in sexual relationships with locals. This may involve both paid sexual encounters and longer-term relationships, often with significant power imbalances.

• Characteristics:

• Long-term residence: Sexpats often settle or live long-term in countries where they can engage in relationships, sometimes semi-permanent, with local partners. Many live there for years or even permanently.

• Relationships beyond one-time encounters: Unlike sex tourists, sexpats might seek out what they consider more “meaningful” relationships, though they may still be largely transactional. These could involve cohabitation, longer-term dating, or “girlfriend experience” arrangements.

• More embedded in the local community: Sexpats may integrate into the expat community in the country, developing social ties and making the country their home, though these ties may still be rooted in sexual relationships.

 

Key Differences:

 

• Duration of Stay:

• Sex Tourist: Short-term visits.

• Sexpat: Long-term or permanent relocation to another country.

• Nature of Interactions:

• Sex Tourist: Mostly focuses on brief, often anonymous encounters that are purely transactional (usually through the sex trade).

• Sexpat: May involve both transactional and semi-permanent relationships, including “girlfriend” or “wife” arrangements that still carry an economic component.

• Commitment to Location:

• Sex Tourist: Has no strong ties to the country beyond the visit.

• Sexpat: Chooses to live in the country and becomes part of the local expat community, though their interactions may remain exploitative.

• Motivation:

• Sex Tourist: Primarily visits a country for sexual activities, often as part of a broader vacation or travel itinerary.

• Sexpat: May have moved to the country specifically to enjoy the benefits of the local dating or sex culture on a long-term basis, often influenced by the power imbalance in their favor.

 

Overlap:

 

• Both sex tourists and sexpats exploit economic or social differences between themselves and local populations.

• Both terms are often used pejoratively to criticize behaviors that contribute to the exploitation of individuals in the sex trade or socially disadvantaged groups.

 

In summary, while a sex tourist tends to engage in short-term, often anonymous or transactional encounters during travel, a sexpat stays in the foreign country long-term, often building their life around more sustained and sometimes superficially more “stable” relationships, though they may still exploit the same economic and social imbalances.

So basically anyone who visits Thailand can be rightly or wrongly be labelled a sexpat or a sex tourist (or a sexigrant😁), even if they never get their leg over for their entire stay? (I spent 2 weeks in Thailand in March and never went with anyone).

[wombat]

Listening to people or reading posts from punters who live in the largest open air BG meeting place worldwide who take the high moral ground brings a smirk to my face as I wonder what skeletons they have in their closet that they are hiding.

[NowNow]

2 hours ago, Will B Good said:

 

 

Even if not a fully paid up 'bargirl' many are/have been sideliners or freelancers.......it goes with the territory over here.

 

It's the circles in which you move...

[Andrew65]

16 minutes ago, Gottfrid said:

1. Depends on if you have one or many.

2. Guess you will have to read up on the meaning of the expression sexpat, as it depends on if they are faithful or have numerous encounters on the side.
 

That´s because you still do not know the meaning of the expression sexpat.

Basically all male visitors to Thailand are likely to be tarred with the same brush, sexpats or not.

[RSD1]

7 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

I spent 2 weeks in Thailand in March and never went with anyone

Sorry for your loss. Hopes and prayers. 

[KhunLA]

6 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

So basically anyone who visits Thailand can be rightly or wrongly be labelled a sexpat or a sex tourist (or a sexigrant😁), even if they never get their leg over for their entire stay? (I spent 2 weeks in Thailand in March and never went with anyone).

Really, did you bring companionship with you or were you actually visiting people that you knew?   

 

My first visit here was more diving and just burning up timeshare, but I was well aware of the companionship situation so I had to experiment and rent one for a week, made it quite nice.

[NowNow]

2 minutes ago, wombat said:

Listening to people or reading posts from punters who live in the largest open air BG meeting place worldwide who take the high moral ground brings a smirk to my face as I wonder what skeletons they have in their closet that they are hiding.

 

Punters? Take the blinkers off. You are likely a punter/john...whatever and try to fool yourself that everyone is like you. Of course it's difficult to accept that you are considered less of a person by most decent people.

[Andrew65]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

Sorry for your loss. Hopes and prayers. 

I lived there for 20 years and became very cynical about all that stuff, added to the fact that my sex-drive has long-since deserted me!🙂

[Andrew65]

[Nick Carter icp]

8 minutes ago, wombat said:

Listening to people or reading posts from punters who live in the largest open air BG meeting place worldwide who take the high moral ground brings a smirk to my face as I wonder what skeletons they have in their closet that they are hiding.

 

   Some people just don't like prostitution or hiring sex workers .

[RSD1]

Many useless and pedantic posts trying to parse the small differences between the meaning of the terms sexpat, sex tourist, sexigrant, monger, lecher, etc. But, at the end of the day, they are all just labels that carry a similar meaning and the same condescending tone.

 

The purpose of this topic clearly is to point out that judgment shouldn't be passed or labels stuck onto people for doing what they choose to do with themselves in Thailand. 

 

I'm surprised how few of the many posts made here are actually addressing the OP and the broader issue of the use of a label to unjustly judge and define someone else's lifestyle choices.
 

Most of the posts here seem more interested in debating the correct use of terms, which is more or less irrelevant and not really what people should be focused on. 
 

I think the real point here is that nobody should judge anyone else, especially when you haven't ever walked a day in the other person's shoes. 

[RSD1]

3 minutes ago, Andrew65 said:

added to the fact that my sex-drive has long-since deserted me!🙂

Again, sorry for your loss. Hopes and prayers.

[Andrew65]

2 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

Again, sorry for your loss. Hopes and prayers.

Many thanks!😁

[NowNow]

1 minute ago, RSD1 said:

Many useless and pedantic posts trying to parse the small differences between the meaning of the terms sexpat, sex tourist, sexigrant, monger, lecher, etc. But, at the end of the day, they are all just labels that carry a similar meaning and the same condescending tone.

 

The purpose of this topic clearly is to point out that judgment shouldn't be passed or labels stuck onto people for doing what they choose to do with themselves in Thailand. 

 

I'm surprised how few of the many posts made here are actually addressing the OP and the broader issue of the use of a label to unjustly judge and define someone else's lifestyle choices.
 

Most of the posts here seem more interested in debating the correct use of terms, which is more or less irrelevant and not really what people should be focused on. 
 

I think the real point here is that nobody should judge anyone else, especially when you haven't ever walked a day in the other person's shoes. 

 

Nonsense...you wouldn't have any discussion at all, if no one described their perspective.

It's one thing those damaged goods doing their thing in private, but quite another coming on here and pontificating about it. 

[Colonel_Mustard]

It seems to me that it boils down to your main motivation for being here.

 

If a primary motivation for holidaying in Thailand (or anywhere else in the world for that matter) is the easy availability of sex, then it's quite possible that you may be referred to as a sex tourist.

 

If a primary motivation for residing in a particular country is the easy availability of sex, then it's possible that you may be referred to as a sexpat.

 

Having said that, such labels are not really helpful and are only designed to denigrate.  Live and let live.

[Donga]

35 minutes ago, FriscoKid said:

Sexpat: The term sexpat is a portmanteau of “sex” and “expat” (short for expatriate) and refers to a person, typically a man, who relocates or frequently travels to foreign countries with the primary or significant purpose of engaging in sexual activities, often with local women. The term is often used pejoratively to describe individuals who exploit socio-economic disparities, especially in developing countries, to engage in sex tourism or exploitative relationships.

 

Sexpats may move to or visit regions where they believe sexual relationships are easier to obtain, cheaper, or involve fewer legal or social consequences. The term is commonly associated with certain parts of Southeast Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe, though it can apply to any region.

 

The concept is criticized for perpetuating inequality, exploiting vulnerable populations, and sometimes contributing to human trafficking or the sex trade.

 

While sexpat and sex tourist are related terms, they describe different types of behavior, and the distinction between the two generally revolves around duration, intent, and the nature of the relationship to the host country.

 

1. Sex Tourist

 

• Definition: A sex tourist is typically someone who travels to a foreign country for a short period specifically to engage in sexual activities, often with locals who work in the sex trade.

• Characteristics:

• Short-term travel: A sex tourist might visit a country for a week or two, with a primary or secondary goal of participating in the local sex industry.

• No long-term commitment to the location: They don’t typically establish a permanent residence in the country they visit.

• Purely transactional: Interactions are typically brief and often focused on paid sexual encounters, with little to no intent of forming relationships.

• Focus on Exploitation: The term is often used negatively, associated with people who exploit economic disparities in developing nations to engage in cheap or easily accessible sex.

 

2. Sexpat

 

• Definition: A sexpat is an expatriate—someone who has moved or lives abroad—who has a lifestyle that revolves around engaging in sexual relationships with locals. This may involve both paid sexual encounters and longer-term relationships, often with significant power imbalances.

• Characteristics:

• Long-term residence: Sexpats often settle or live long-term in countries where they can engage in relationships, sometimes semi-permanent, with local partners. Many live there for years or even permanently.

• Relationships beyond one-time encounters: Unlike sex tourists, sexpats might seek out what they consider more “meaningful” relationships, though they may still be largely transactional. These could involve cohabitation, longer-term dating, or “girlfriend experience” arrangements.

• More embedded in the local community: Sexpats may integrate into the expat community in the country, developing social ties and making the country their home, though these ties may still be rooted in sexual relationships.

 

Key Differences:

 

• Duration of Stay:

• Sex Tourist: Short-term visits.

• Sexpat: Long-term or permanent relocation to another country.

• Nature of Interactions:

• Sex Tourist: Mostly focuses on brief, often anonymous encounters that are purely transactional (usually through the sex trade).

• Sexpat: May involve both transactional and semi-permanent relationships, including “girlfriend” or “wife” arrangements that still carry an economic component.

• Commitment to Location:

• Sex Tourist: Has no strong ties to the country beyond the visit.

• Sexpat: Chooses to live in the country and becomes part of the local expat community, though their interactions may remain exploitative.

• Motivation:

• Sex Tourist: Primarily visits a country for sexual activities, often as part of a broader vacation or travel itinerary.

• Sexpat: May have moved to the country specifically to enjoy the benefits of the local dating or sex culture on a long-term basis, often influenced by the power imbalance in their favor.

 

Overlap:

 

• Both sex tourists and sexpats exploit economic or social differences between themselves and local populations.

• Both terms are often used pejoratively to criticize behaviors that contribute to the exploitation of individuals in the sex trade or socially disadvantaged groups.

 

In summary, while a sex tourist tends to engage in short-term, often anonymous or transactional encounters during travel, a sexpat stays in the foreign country long-term, often building their life around more sustained and sometimes superficially more “stable” relationships, though they may still exploit the same economic and social imbalances.

Some more moralising and in my mind, naivety - "power imbalance", "exploitation", "socially disadvantaged" but especially loved "Sexpat: May involve both transactional and semi-permanent relationships, including “girlfriend” or “wife” arrangements that still carry an economic component."

People would understand Thai society and demographics more, if they travelled around, talked to the women, including the bar girls to understand the realities of "socially disadvantaged" (hardly a Thai concept, other than hi-so Thai), especially after a Thai woman divorces. From my observation and discussions, Thai women are generally content, what ever their circumstance, and above all very pragmatic and also loyal, trustworthy.

For those that sell their wares, Thai society is less judgemental than Western societies, and expect Buddhism plays a big part in this. Other ladies might look for a farang on a dating site - what is so "exploitive" about that?

I've witnessed many older farang, younger Thai relationships and the vast majority are successful in that they enjoy each others company, share common interests and above all, seem to have less angst than many Western unions - is this "power imbalance" or Thai tolerance mixed with farang gratitude? Bit of both I expect.

Had a wry smile with: "still carry an economic component" - most relationships carry an economic component whether in Thailand or the West. Could argue that in Thailand it is clearer what that component is 😅

We're fortunate to live in Thailand for many reasons - their culture, smiles, food, varied landscape, magnificent temples, ruins and right up there - freedom and tolerance. See very little exploitation and yet to see any underage stuff. I live near an entertainment area, but I'm not a bar guy, so maybe I'm naive in this case.

 

[jvs]

1 hour ago, Kinok Farang said:

And slim good-looking fellas with loads of hair.

No thanks,i am staying!

 

[jvs]

So what would you call some one who does not come to Thailand at all?

He stays in his home country and hopes to get some action sometimes?

A Sadpat?

We all do what we do,why the need for making others feel bad because they chose another lifestyle?

Grow up!

[BritManToo]

1 minute ago, jvs said:

So what would you call some one who does not come to Thailand at all?

He stays in his home country and hopes to get some action sometimes?

A Sadpat?

We all do what we do,why the need for making others feel bad because they chose another lifestyle?

Grow up!

I'd call them now now!

[NowNow]

1 minute ago, jvs said:

So what would you call some one who does not come to Thailand at all?

He stays in his home country and hopes to get some action sometimes?

A Sadpat?

We all do what we do,why the need for making others feel bad because they chose another lifestyle?

Grow up!

 

It's not just what you do, but the way that you do it. You have some growing up of your own to do.

[NowNow]

1 minute ago, BritManToo said:

I'd call them now now!

 

No you wouldn't, silly billy 😊 I've certainly travelled further and wider than your bad self and had more 'free' intimacy than you've ever experienced.

Paying someone to spend time with me is not an attractive nor necessary option.

[Kinok Farang]

6 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

No you wouldn't, silly billy 😊 I've certainly travelled further and wider than your bad self and had more 'free' intimacy than you've ever experienced.

Paying someone to spend time with me is not an attractive nor necessary option.

Impressive,but self praise is no recommendation.

[RSD1]

5 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

No you wouldn't, silly billy 😊 I've certainly travelled further and wider than your bad self and had more 'free' intimacy than you've ever experienced.

Paying someone to spend time with me is not an attractive nor necessary option.

You should take a time out. Go have a lie down and cool off. You have obviously become obsessed with this topic and most of your myriad of useless posts are focused on denigrating others. Pretty pathetic. 

[Lacessit]

I have played around in Thailand, then settled with a Thai GF. For me, morality is not hurting anyone.

 

I am always amused when I go back to Australia. The men are envious, the women seethe.

 

 

[Celsius]

1 hour ago, RSD1 said:

Sorry for your loss. Hopes and prayers. 

 

More like herpes and prayer 

[RSD1]

2 minutes ago, Celsius said:

 

More like herpes and prayer 

You mean in America?

 

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/herpes-hsv1-and-hsv2

 

Fifty to 80 percent of American adults have oral herpes (HSV-1), which causes cold sores or fever blisters in or around the mouth. Genital herpes, caused by HSV-1 or HSV-2, affects one out of every six people in the U.S. age 14 to 49.

[NowNow]

5 minutes ago, RSD1 said:

You should take a time out. Go have a lie down and cool off. You have obviously become obsessed with this topic and most of your myriad of useless posts are focused on denigrating others. Pretty pathetic. 

 

Seems it went right to your core. Your reaction and words tell all, Mr Sex Tourist 😊

[NowNow]

6 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

I have played around in Thailand, then settled with a Thai GF. For me, morality is not hurting anyone.

 

I am always amused when I go back to Australia. The men are envious, the women seethe.

 

 

 

Clichéd...

[RSD1]

2 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

Seems it went right to your core. Your reaction and words tell all, Mr Sex Tourist 😊

Weak. 

[Lacessit]

10 minutes ago, NowNow said:

 

No you wouldn't, silly billy 😊 I've certainly travelled further and wider than your bad self and had more 'free' intimacy than you've ever experienced.

Paying someone to spend time with me is not an attractive nor necessary option.

So you have shagged any female who would open her legs for you in your travels, then lecture those who prefer to short-circuit all the necessary preliminaries with payment?

 

Next, you'll be claiming you are so handsome you pull nothing but nines and tens.