Marrying a Thai Wife: Overrated or Underrated?

[SoCal1990]

Marrying a Thai woman often sounds like a unique and appealing opportunity, but how can one know in advance what they’re really getting themselves into?

The idea of having a potentially beautiful, caring, and devoted wife who values family and home life is undoubtedly enticing. Add the cultural charm, great food, and warmth that many Thai women are known for, and it’s easy to see why many foreigners might be encouraged to take the plunge.

 

But is the reality as perfect as it seems? Financial expectations, for example, can be a major consideration. In many cases, marrying a Thai woman involves supporting her family to some extent. Is this considered a reasonable cultural norm, or does it often become an overwhelming burden on the husband over time? And how can foreigners navigate this expectation without running into relational challenges and a feeling of being fleeced?

 

Cultural compatibility is another question. The whole Thai cultural aspect that values harmony and “saving face” can sometimes lead to indirect communication. Does this help relationships by reducing unnecessary conflict, or does it cause frustration for someone from the West who is used to a more direct approach? And what about language barriers? How much do they limit deeper connections and understanding between two people when both partners might struggle to fully express themselves because of language?

 

Finally, there’s the lifestyle factor. Some thrive in cross-cultural marriages, embracing the blend of tradition and modernity that a Thai wife can bring. But others might find themselves struggling to bridge the gap between two very different ways of life.

So, is having a Thai wife everything it’s cracked up to be, or does it come with more challenges than would be expecting or find acceptable? For those already married or considering it, what other questions or concerns should weigh the most on one's mind before taking such a plunge?

[KhunLA]

Someone thinks too much.   Fantasy vs Reality ... who comes up with this stuff.

 

Take the word 'Thai' out.  It's a woman, hopefully, if that your preference.  No different than any other woman of the world.  

 

Same everywhere, emphasis on 'potentially' ... as all people aren't ...

... beautiful  (sounds a bit shallow)

... caring, good luck with that

... devoted, divorce rates not different 

... values family and home life  ???

 

More important, do you want to be married and or .... why ?

 

You're marrying the woman, not the family.   Why would you support anyone else ?  Is this something you do in home country ?

 

Cultural compatibly and the rest is just made up BS.  You're 2 people, you get along or you don't.  The rest is just BS excuses people use when things fail.   

 

Like all relationships, either works or doesn't, no need for excuses.  What makes you happy, what makes her happy, and if not like minded, it will fail.

 

Culture, language, other people have nothing to do with it.   The fantasy of marriage is a failed institution, and why so many fail.   

 

2 people finding out everything there is to know about each other and still liking each other .... 

 

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ONE 

 

My advice ... if never wanting to be divorced, never get married.  That piece of paper is a fantasy, and for many, a curse.

Edited 2 hours ago by KhunLA

[EVENKEEL]

Why?ff

[thesetat2013]

i think you are using too many generalizations in comparing ethnicities. 

The marriage to a Thai is not what you think it is. Supporting the family? You agree to do that only if the Thai family is so poor they need your money. You are not marrying the woman, you are marrying the family as she is marrying your wallet. When the money runs out she will most likely run out also. The woman will say it is culture. Culture says the child should take care of family. It does not say this means sending your money to them. 

As for the language barrier. If this is already a problem then it is possible to get better or worse depending on the effort you both use to rectify the problem. 

The cultural differences we live with daily at home. Are usually minimal and should not be a problem since you both were aware of them prior to any marriage consent. If it was a problem in the beginning then why did you take that step to get married? 

Making a Thai family of your own, seems to be the same as marrying a woman from any country. Kids are the priority. If you have found a good woman she will not lose keeping you in her list of priorities. Thai traditions are a little better in marriage than in western cultures. Married Thai women will not have men friends to chat or meet without you present or be seen with alone. (this is to say only for a good woman who respects this Thai culture) 

Age differences do not seem to matter. What is important is that you have the ability to support your family and increase the quality of life for your family made together. (not her family)

There are many other nuances I read about with foreigners married to Thais. But these stand out the most for me with my Thai wife. She is loving and caring and helpful for the most part. She contributes to everything we have, want, or need in the home and with our family. Everything done is done together as a family. We have helped on occasions with some financial to her family but the responsibility was always shared with her other family siblings. Her family is not dependent on my money. 

As i see it, she has been the best choice in the 3 times I have been married. 

 

[sqwakvfr]

I think a question a foreign man should ask  a Thai woman that he meets in LOS is this:

 

Have you ever been or lived in another country?

 

If she says yes then it there is a chance the two will be compatible.  In my first few years in CNX all the women I met had never been out of the country.  This was understandable because many can't afford it.   I met one lady who had lived in Singapore for a few years and one who had been to San Franscisco.  These were the only two that I felt compatible with.  For me if I am not compatible with a woman then there is no hope for a relationship.  

[mdr224]

Rated about right. They think like children, but not victims of feminism so less chance of divorce

[Hummin]

You are marrying a women, who is connected to her family with strong bonds, so the only way to figure out how it is going to be, is to know her family and friends, and live together for at least 5 years, or more, before marrying her, and you will know. 

 

Simple as that

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are marrying a women, who is connected to her family with strong bonds, so the only way to figure out how it is going to be, is to know her family and friends, and live together for at least 5 years, or more, before marrying her, and you will know. 

 

Simple as that

I pay my MIL 3,000bht a month NOT to live with us.

If she comes to visit -100bht for every day here.

Result ....... not seen her for 2 years .... well worth the money ..... so much for close family bonds!

 

I don't really interact with her family or friends, they pass through but a wai from them and a wave back from me is about it. I don't let her mix with my pals either.

Edited 16 minutes ago by BritManToo

[quake]

Sex is great and will stay great. ( unlike in the west )

Other stuff like, money, family, well that's a different story.

 

 

 

Edited 18 minutes ago by quake

[Hummin]

6 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

I pay my MIL 3,000bht a month NOT to live with us.

If she comes to visit -100bht for every day here.

Result ....... not seen her for 2 years .... well worth the money ..... so much for close family bonds!

 

I don't really interact with her family or friends, they pass through but a wai from them and a wave back from me is about it. I don't let her mix with my pals either.

We are paying her parents 10k to live on our farm when we are not here, and take care of animals. Total cost 20k a month and the farm make in return rougly 180k a year for the moment. Next years estimated to be 300k, which will cover maintanence and most of the expenses running the farm, and of course feeding from the live stock, fruit and vegetabels is not in calculation.