Dealing with existential boredom !

[3NUMBAS]

As you approach the age of 80, it's understandable to feel overwhelmed by what some may describe as existential boredom. You’ve accomplished so much in your life, yet now you find yourself unsure of what to pursue next. It’s frustrating when people suggest picking up hobbies or joining activities, as if these superficial distractions can truly address the deeper sense of unease you’re experiencing.

 

This phase of life isn’t about what you should do next; it's about who you are becoming. It’s essential to recognize that you still possess the power to shape your own journey. What comes next may not involve external achievements but rather an inward exploration of your identity and purpose. While this journey may feel isolating, it presents a profound opportunity for self-discovery.

 

After reaching numerous goals, you may feel at a loss, confronting what existential philosophers refer to as “the existential vacuum.” This experience is not uncommon among those who have led fulfilling lives; with old meanings fading, the question arises: What remains? At this stage, you might be experiencing not just boredom but a profound existential inquiry, as described by existential psychologist Rollo May, confronting the concepts of “being and non-being.” The awareness of your own mortality can evoke feelings of emptiness, yet it also presents an opportunity for deeper reflection.

 

Your feelings of boredom are a call to seek new ways to engage with life—meanings that extend beyond your past achievements. This is an invitation to see the freedom you now have as an opportunity rather than a burden. Meaning is not a destination to arrive at once and for all; it’s a continual process of creation.

 

Now, standing at this crossroads, you have the freedom to redefine your life in ways independent of previous goals. Engaging with life authentically means exploring new avenues for connection and contribution. While you may no longer be pursuing a career, the creative process of living doesn’t cease; it simply evolves. What fresh relationships or types of engagement might inspire you? Consider ways to connect quietly, perhaps by volunteering or fostering meaningful conversations.

 

It’s not about staying busy; it’s about rediscovering what truly matters to you. Facing the discomfort of freedom involves exploring parts of yourself that may still be uncharted. Are there conversations waiting to be had or connections yet to be formed? This moment may be prompting you to confront your authenticity and ask: What resonates with you now? With the wisdom of experience, what calls to you at this deeper level?

 

Additionally, the shadow of “non-being” looms in the background. May reminds us that acknowledging this reality can lend urgency and meaning to our present experiences. Life's finitude is what enriches it, transforming our awareness of mortality into a source of profound appreciation for each moment.

 

You are not alone in this exploration of purpose. Many face this sense of uncertainty and ask, "What now?" What you are experiencing is not a lack of imagination but rather a universal aspect of the human condition—a moment ripe for redefining your meaning, even at this stage of life. Embrace this opportunity for reflection and growth, and discover the new paths that await you.

 

 

Based on this article:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/dec/15/im-nearly-80-and-theres-a-void-in-my-life-that-hobbies-cant-fill
 

I’ve noticed mates slipping into this state ,they need help as they have  few interest s nowadays ,I’ve tried to tell them but they get shirty !

[Will B Good]

16 minutes ago, 3NUMBAS said:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/dec/15/im-nearly-80-and-theres-a-void-in-my-life-that-hobbies-cant-fill
 

I’ve noticed mates slipping into this state ,they need help as they have  few interest s nowadays ,I’ve tried to tell them but get get shirty 

 

Now that is freaky.....just read that on the Guardian app......I live in Isaan so it caught my eye......didn't help any.

[Gaccha]

The article is talking about acting authentically in the face of existential boredom. 

 

Heidegger's remarkable "The Fundamental Concepts of Metaphysics: World, Finitude, Solitude" are the best lectures on the topic of boredom. Heidegger is famous for seeking to identify how to act authentically.

 

The lectures strangely manage to make you bored but also excited as you read them. Recommended.

 

But honestly I suspect most AseanForum members would be better off just buying a Leo, and not thinking too much.

[Lacessit]

The only time I have ever experienced boredom was when I spent six months being a component of a McKinsey cost cutting exercise, which IMO was totally fraudulent.

 

As long as I have my books, music, videos, golf and wheels, I don't think I will ever be bored here.

 

When my mortality happens, it happens. I'm not going to dwell on it.

[persimmon]

That`s what worries me about a permanent move to Thailand - it would mean leaving all my pastimes and hobbies behind and trying to find new ones . Just sitting on a bar stool and drinking beer all day - well maybe it`s ok for some , but I think I would get bored of that fairly quickly .

[Denim]

I wish I had the spare time to get bored. What a luxury , nothing to do.

[nausea]

Existential boredom is a luxury ailment, most guys are kept busy just trying to survive, and believe me, it doesn't get any easier as you get older.

[ChrisP24]

The Italians have a phrase "Il Dolce Far Niente".  Not intended as a way to live all of the time, but to balance your time to include just enjoying the moment without having an immediate goal.

 

The Italian phrase il dolce far niente translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing". It's a central part of Italian culture and can refer to a range of activities, such as: 

 

• Enjoying a coffee with a friend 
   
• Watching the waves at the beach 
   
• Sitting on a park bench and people-watching 
   
• Reading a book on the couch 
   

The philosophy behind il dolce far niente is that:

• Spontaneity and adventure can bring joy, pleasure, and meaning
• Filling your time with structured activities can cause you to miss out on something wonderful
• You should balance structured activities with time for il dolce far niente 
   

 

Some benefits of il dolce far niente include:

• Appreciating the details of your day 
   
• Stepping back from the world's chaos and hustle 
   
• Enhancing creativity and well-being 
   

 

Il dolce far niente doesn't mean completely unplugging or taking a sabbatical. Instead, it's about making small changes in your life that can lead to bigger changes in the long run.

 

 

[3NUMBAS]

The 1000 yard stare is common in los ,aka dementia

[Old Curmudgeon]

 

Not bad for a opening post created out of thin-air by an AI bot.

 

But I say: Nonsense!

I'm over 80 so speak from first-hand experience.

 

So many interesting things to do every day, the challenge is what to select and what to pass by.

Sure, move a little slower than age 60-50-40, but still move and do interesting & enjoyable things every day.

No reason to search for "entertainment" such as watching waves at the beach.

 

And with unlimited good books to read, I don't expect to get to any boredom stage for about another 80 years or so.

Check back with me then.

[jas007]

James Carse, one of my teachers. 

 

His book, Finite and Infinite Games, might be interesting.  I've been meaning to pick up a copy.

 

 

[trainman34014]

I'm 79 and been here almost 20 years.   I don't have time to be bored; i have just spent the last six weeks painting the whole of the outside of our house (Bungalow) and there is now a stack of gardening waiting to be done.   Apart from that i had a flood in the outer Kitchen caused by a rotten Washing Machine Waste Pipe, so it was off to Mr DIY to buy a new pipe and fit it while the Mrs sorted the flood.

 

Next will come painting the Brick Built Shed that houses my Model Railway Layout and we go shopping at least once a week and out for lunch on another day.    There will be two Holidays to other Countries this year; first already booked for Japan in March.

 

Never been bored in my life thus far and don't intend to be; there is always plenty to do.  I have one or two friends that moan about boredom but they are too lazy to do anything about it and seem to think that drinking is a 'Hobby' whilst talking about 'what to do'.    I've always thought there are three kinds of people.....the 'Talkers', the 'Tryers' and the 'Doers' and i know plenty of the first category !

[jippytum]

look at the weather in places like the UK. Confined to your home because of bad weather must cause boredom and depression. 

Enjoy Thailand and count your blessings if you can live out your old age in the tropics. 

[CM Dad]

On 12/15/2024 at 9:53 PM, persimmon said:

That`s what worries me about a permanent move to Thailand - it would mean leaving all my pastimes and hobbies behind and trying to find new ones . Just sitting on a bar stool and drinking beer all day - well maybe it`s ok for some , but I think I would get bored of that fairly quickly .

I have been here more than thirty years and I have not spent any of that time "sitting on a bar stool and drinking beer all day".

[Jeff the Chef]

Never feel bored as I do whatever I want, Thai Boxing tonight about an hour away, always enjoyable having a laugh with the regulars, ran out of filler to fix a dodgy wall fixing so might go to local town for shopping, Madam will want to go to market and if I get time I'll sit on here and read the usual garbage from the outer ends of the political spectrum, boredom what's that? 

[scorecard]

On 12/15/2024 at 9:58 PM, Denim said:

I wish I had the spare time to get bored. What a luxury , nothing to do.

 

I'm 80. I'm blessed in that:

 

-I live with my Thai son 43 years old, his Thai wife and 4 kids.

-Son has excellent education including sociology, mental health and more.

-Son is always thinking about items  / activities / responsibilities he could pass to me.

 

Why? He's concerned I might get bored. 

[madone]

On 12/15/2024 at 11:11 PM, ChrisP24 said:

 

 

The Italian phrase il dolce far niente translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing". It's a central part of Italian culture and can refer to a range of activities, such as: 

 

• Enjoying a coffee with a friend 
   
• Watching the waves at the beach 
   
• Sitting on a park bench and people-watching 
   
• Reading a book on the couch 
   

 

 

 

 

none of those are doing nothing

[Kinok Farang]

42 minutes ago, jippytum said:

look at the weather in places like the UK. Confined to your home because of bad weather must cause boredom and depression. 

Enjoy Thailand and count your blessings if you can live out your old age in the tropics. 

75 now with a British pension of £180 a week.

I live pretty comfortable on that in Thailand.

That's why, like you i count my blessings every single day here because to have to go back would be a living nightmare.

[BumGun]

On 12/16/2024 at 12:01 AM, 3NUMBAS said:

as if these superficial distractions can truly address the deeper sense of unease you’re experiencing.

I am reminded of Nassim Talebs interesting ideas on making sure you stay exposed to some stressors in your life, if you're still with it. By that I don't think he means challenge the local moto-taxi rider to a fist fight 🙂 but to do things that put you outside your comfort zone. I watch my 83 yr old mother suffer a slow slide into nothingness, doing the one thing she still enjoys and the rest of her day and week is in front of the TV and I contrast that  with others of a similar age who are nothing like this. One 80 yr old I know is entering a power lifting competition for example.

 

More travel perhaps, dealing with immigration can be a stressor 🙂 haha  with some "flanuering" type travel mixed in, i.e wandering places with no fixed agenda and seeking joy from the unexpected you may encounter.  A rail trip from Veintaine to Laung Prabag on the high speed rail, walk around the old city, along the Mekong  mini bus out to the Kuang Si (sp?) Waterfalls and go for a swim etc, then fly back home

 

Volunteering to help others less fortunate seems rewarding to many as perhaps another option, my parters mother is 78 and does that 3 days a week and seems engaged.

 

That said, I am 59, I as yet don't have the wisdom of age. I am observing  the 75-80 yr olds I know though for that exact reason though.  I am also cognisant that those who are easily bored make for <deleted>ty company. I retired when I was 35, there always seems too much to do and not enough time. Perhaps this will change IF i get towards 80 ?

 

NB "Anti-fragile" is a good read, I'm on "Fooled by Randomeness" right now

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifragile_(book)

 

Quote

The titular concept of antifragility uses examples from science and mathematics to argue that some systems are strengthened by encounters with disorder,

 

[BumGun]

4 hours ago, jippytum said:

Look at the weather in places like the UK. Confined to your home because of bad weather must cause boredom and depression. 

Perhaps, but I love sitting near a fire, fresh made coffee while the weather is sh!tty outside here in Tasmania in winter (no snow but single digits) and reading a good book while streaming something from the zillion classical radio stations on my music system and the clear sunny cold winter days are glorious for hiking and biking etc. (presuming your still mobile of course) 84 yr old neighbour is out in a flash on his mobilty scooter on a clear winters day to see his plethora of friends

[GreasyFingers]

On 12/15/2024 at 8:01 PM, 3NUMBAS said:

It’s not about staying busy; it’s about rediscovering what truly matters to you.

This is the thing. I retired because I was sick of being busy but now with advanced years the energy to be busy has gone. With the lack of energy comes lack of motivation so what matters about me I am not sure. But I have a wonderful wife that is full of energy so supporting what she wants to do gives me something that does matter.

 

If it is all about you, you have a problem. Helping others can help you.

[DogNo1]

People younger than eighty writing on here don’t seem to be taking into account how a diminishing energy level will influence how much activity is possible and how that will influence their lives.  I am now eighty-two and find, after two one-week hospitalizations last year, that my faculties and energy level are diminished.  My activities are pretty much limited to watching TV, reading and occasionally going to concerts.   I do get out of the house for 2-3 hours every day for tea and grocery shopping.   I keep in touch with a few long-time friends and family by Skype and email.

 

It would be nice to hear what other 80+ posters are doing.  I’m not a bar goer so I don’t have many conversation opportunities.

[persimmon]

8 hours ago, Kinok Farang said:

75 now with a British pension of £180 a week.

I live pretty comfortable on that in Thailand.

That's why, like you i count my blessings every single day here because to have to go back would be a living nightmare.

Well done , not much fun being in the UK at the moment , freezing temperatures and high electric and gas prices .

[SiSePuede419]

Start microdosing Penis Envy mushrooms and have a conversation with Death. 🍄‍🟫

[Narrators Voice: You can't microdose on pe mushrooms because they're too strong]

[SiSePuede419]

14 minutes ago, persimmon said:

not much fun being in the UK at the moment , freezing temperatures and high electric and gas prices .

But you can stare at your garish wallpaper while shivering with your tweed jacket on in your drafty castle that you can no longer afford to heat.

 

Traditional rural life. 😲

[GreasyFingers]

On 1/6/2025 at 7:26 PM, DogNo1 said:

People younger than eighty writing on here don’t seem to be taking into account how a diminishing energy level will influence how much activity is possible and how that will influence their lives.  I am now eighty-two and find, after two one-week hospitalizations last year, that my faculties and energy level are diminished.  My activities are pretty much limited to watching TV, reading and occasionally going to concerts.   I do get out of the house for 2-3 hours every day for tea and grocery shopping.   I keep in touch with a few long-time friends and family by Skype and email.

 

It would be nice to hear what other 80+ posters are doing.  I’m not a bar goer so I don’t have many conversation opportunities.

You are lucky if it only happened to you in the eighties. I am only in the mid seventies and have to push the body very hard to do a couple of hours work.