The violence or any other aspect of life is no different here than many parts of the world. Generally if you are rural you are ven less likely to encounter any issues, as thats not the Thai nature or ddispostion generally. Surprised your wife, a Thai, would even make such a comment.
Bulls**t. It depends where you live in Thailand and how exposed you are to the language.
Many people that live in the holiday hotspots, where most Thais speak English, can go without almost never being exposed to significant levels of Thai. Therefore never picking it up, or needing it. The only way they will speak it is by taking Thai language lessons.
Even half Thai children, if going to English speaking international schools, and speaking only English at home (if the Thai parent doesn't make the effort to speak only Thai to them) will have weak Thai language skills. It doesn't make them dumb.
Get dumped in the back of beyond, where hardly anyone speaks English, (or whatever your native language is), and you will be forced to pick up some Thai or local dialect very quickly by necessity.
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