Worst or lowest part of your life ?

[The Cobra]

Many of us are getting on in years, and I was wondering about different things in the past as you tend to do as you get older.

 

I was thinking back to the time I first left home. I'd had a big fight with my mother over a girl amongst other things I was getting into as I became a legal adult.

So, I decided that was it—moving out! The following months about 18 were probably the hardest I had ever known. The positive side was I learned an awful lot too and it made me grow up pretty fast.

 

The lowest point, living in a bedsit area was ok but it wasnt easy adapting to being totally "on your own" and coping and doing everything for yourself. I had work that wasnt great pay but enough to get by and pay my bills and I ate out most of the time, usually from the chippy. I got laid off from my job a few months later; I was "on the dole" for awhile; that period was really rough with almost no money. I remember going out early morning to get milk off the doorsteps; if I struck lucky, I got orange juice and even some eggs in those days. I had just enough money one time for a bowl of soup in the transport cafe.

 

Pretty low and rough times for awhile.

 

How about you ?, what was your roughest or lowest time for you as a young adult, or maybe you hit bottom at another time ?

[IsaanExpat]

For me it was the 15 years after I got out the Army. Bounced between some 20 jobs, moved interstate 8 times, couldn't get a steady relationship for those years.

 

Finally was talked into going and asking the VA for help by a highschool friend and it changed my life. Took about 4 years but finally got all I was obliged to and came to Thailand to meet friends.

 

Ended up meeting my wife, now we have kids and are comfortable in Isaan. Wife and kids are all Dual Citizens for America and Thailand and I follow the rules so I can stay with them, Home is wherever they are.

[1FinickyOne]

my parent's dementia.

[sidjameson]

Mentally ill father who never worked.

Childhood on benefits.

Adult circumcision at 26.

Watching my elderly mother suffer with numerous chronic health problems for the last decade.

Living with chronic back pain the last few years.

Dealing with prostate cancer in my mid 50's.

 

But apart from that life's been pretty good.

[proton]

Being born was a downer

[0ffshore360]

I'll bite on this one.

Luckily I had parents who in retrospect were probably very stressed at my decision to leave home at 18 self deluded into the conviction I was secure as an apprenticed  engineer to cope and thrive thereafter.

Perpetually stoned ,as were my fellow social members, dramas were never dramas, things just happened.

At 19 got my/a girl friend pregnant.

Responsibility  mode  kicked in and opted  for marriage (for the kids sake ) ( Yeah right ! )

Struggled a bit but not so badly.

Lasted  19 years and  two more kids.

That is when the low point hit in real terms. Devastation, depression, anger, guilt...the works .

Took  12 months to comprehend that at now age 38 I was not actually in such a bad place.

Lucked into a relationship with a much  younger health professional linked to my own niche occupation in the health industry.

That lasted  8years until an amicable split.

A ridiculously rebound Brazilian relationship of short duration lasted a stressful agonizing 18 months.

So near midlife crisis do occur  but the experience is invaluable  from day one in providing a learning curve that shapes us probably as much as anything in adolescent years.

But I genuinely believe that the foundational element of our persona and social perception is instilled by original parental attitudes.

So now in my mid seventies I am grateful for all that has led me to my current placement and harmonious marital cohabitation of 2 decades with a wonderful Thai wife .

 

 

[0ffshore360]

11 minutes ago, proton said:

Being born was a downer

Poor sod !

[0ffshore360]

59 minutes ago, IsaanExpat said:

For me it was the 15 years after I got out the Army. Bounced between some 20 jobs, moved interstate 8 times, couldn't get a steady relationship for those years.

 

Finally was talked into going and asking the VA for help by a highschool friend and it changed my life. Took about 4 years but finally got all I was obliged to and came to Thailand to meet friends.

 

Ended up meeting my wife, now we have kids and are comfortable in Isaan. Wife and kids are all Dual Citizens for America and Thailand and I follow the rules so I can stay with them, Home is wherever they are.

I can identify with that to some degree.

 

[Ralf001]

Life has had its up and downs... but all in all sweet as.

[0ffshore360]

21 minutes ago, sidjameson said:

Mentally ill father who never worked.

Childhood on benefits.

Adult circumcision at 26.

Watching my elderly mother suffer with numerous chronic health problems for the last decade.

Living with chronic back pain the last few years.

Dealing with prostate cancer in my mid 50's.

 

But apart from that life's been pretty good.

The good outranks the bad  I hope.

[Will B Good]

Life has been amazingly good to me.........the downer, if there is one, is it that life has gone by in the blink of an eye.

[RSD1]

I think my low point was when I discovered AN and then read my first bob smith post. I will never forget that day and must live with it in shame until it's time for me to clock out. What a pity. 

[OneMoreFarang]

3 hours ago, RSD1 said:

I think my low point was when I discovered AN and then read my first bob smith post. I will never forget that day and must live with it in shame until it's time for me to clock out. What a pity. 

Was that the one where he "picked up" the drunk hooker?

[OneMoreFarang]

The worst part of my life was when I had to join the military. A total waste of time with lots of idiots and a few good guys.

[steven100]

I don't really want to think about that

[Sandboxer]

Age 29, broke, freshly divorced, angry, nearly homeless, drunk with a gun in my mouth for a few seconds before I realized I didn't have the nuts to do it. Pretty much went up like bitcoin from there. Made my first million 8 yrs later (50% luck, 50% clever idea) and retired to SEA.

 

What I realize now is that had I actually pulled the trigger, the world would not have been any worse or better off than it is now.  No one except for a very few people in the world is really special.

[KhunLA]

One of my dogs died suddenly.  Lost a fight with a truck.  Idiot GF let her out of the house without being on leash.   Only the loss of a child would be worse, I think.

 

Had one week, where I lost wife (first love), job, car & apartment, though got over that surprisingly easy.  Too easy to replace those, and would be repeated a few times 

[simon43]

Very long post!  But my text will explain why I'm usually found in Myanmar nowadays.

 

The lowest point in my life was about 20 years OK, when I married wife #2 (I didn't learn my lesson from English wife #1).  My Thai wife was 50% bad and 50% mad (certified by doctors).  I'm not quite sure how I missed those points when I married her.  We opened a small hotel business in Phuket.  She destroyed a very successful business (the first airport hotel on the island, now making millions with its new Belgian owner).

 

She took drugs and was mad as a mad coot.  I spent a fortune on mental health treatment at hospitals and clinics. I had a great working relationship with the local pharmacist in Nai Yang and together we would 'Google' suitable drugs to calm her down. On a daily basis, she break out from the hotel where I and her family members kept an eye on her. She would run down the street and boy could she run fast!

 

On 2 occasions, she stole our hotel car (she can't drive), and somehow drove to Patong where she crashed into multiple parked motorbikes, then fleeing on foot.  More money to pay out in compensation.

 

One one occasion, a good American friend joked with her that I had another girl-friend.  When she spotted me at the beach (with no girl-friend of course), she drove the car off the road and tried to run me down.

 

She had control of the business bank account and would regularly write blank checks for her friends.  I pleaded with the bank manager not to allow her access to the money, but he sadly told me that he could not stop her from accessing her own money. She spent all the hotel staff wages on drugs and booze...

 

I joined the Tourist Police Volunteers, in an effort to have time away from her (wrestling with drunken Russians in Soi Bangla was a holiday compared to her!). But she also then secretly joined the police and 'ambushed' me when on patrol.  The police threw her out because her crazy actions scared tourists...

 

Then I started to study 2 days a week on the MA Thai Culture course at Chula in Bangkok.  Again, she destroyed that idea by gate-crashing the actual lesson and causing a scene.

 

Her Thai family and I decided to take her faraway from the Phuket hotel, so she couldn't cause more damage.  I took her to stay in Nong Khai.  But every day she would literally run away, running down the Rim Kong road.  One day, she managed to board a bus going to Bangkok.  We had to call the bus company and then the actual bus driver who stopped the bus near Khon Khaen, so that we could 'catch' her again.

 

All my friends knew what a terrible situation I was in.  One US friend owned a small and remote holiday bungalow, located on a beach at Ban Nam Kem, (where the tsunami museum/memorial is).  When things got too much for me, I would go up to this house to rest.  In the morning, I'd walk along the beach and think what a terrible state of affairs this was.  Due to the sea currents in that area, the beach was literally covered with millions of tiny, colourful shells.  The sight of such beauty will stick in my mind forever.

 

She gave birth to a son, yes, my son 🙂 But it was too dangerous for that boy to stay with us, because she would grab himby the leg and pull him rapidly across the room. He was brought up by a good Thai aunt and her husband in Bangkok who were medically unable to have kids.  He never returned to live with us, but grew up happily with his aunt and uncle, and I would visit him regularly in Bangkok.

 

My mad wife took to throwing plates and cutlery at me when my back was turned.  She would also physically attack hotel guests when they had a complaint (she is only 145cm, 33Kg, but fights like a devil).  Some of my replies on TripAdvisor from guests who had been physically attacked by her make good reading!!

 

So she had destroyed our successful business and our family.  So only the marriage was left. She got pregnant by a gay hill-tribe hairdresser (you can't make this up), and I finally divorced her.  When she gave birth in Phuket, she told the doctors that I was the father, (which I clearly was not).  Therefore my name went on the legal birth certificate. To get that changed required her, me and the gay guy to visit the local police and obtain a report that she was totally nuts. We were thrown out of 2 police stations until she managed to bribe a police officer to write the report and my name was removed 🙂

 

At this point, due to the business failure, family failure and marriage failure, I was not in a 'good place'. Kind friends let me stay for free at their hotels and gave me food each day, (since she had spent all the money and I didn't yet have another job).

 

 One evening when they took me to a local restaurant and gave me some whisky (whisky makes me depressed), I could take it no more and collapsed on the restaurant floor in tears.  All my friends and the restaurant owner knew what I had been going through with this 'mad and bad bat', and carried me out of the restaurant.

 

I was at my lowest point, but I'm not one to give up!  I'm not religious but I asked 'my god' to help me and that if there was a way out of this situation, then I would do whatever I could to help others.

 

I considered my options as to how I could get away from her.  I had an idea!  I knew that she would not pursue me if I went to the country of Myanmar (Burma).  So I searched for hotel manager jobs in Myanmar.  I found none, but I did find a job for an English teacher at a private school in Yangon.  The pay was good (because no-one really wanted to endure the 'hardships' of Myanmar at that time).  I was no English teacher (I was a qualified and experienced space/satellite engineer).  But I applied and got the job. 

 

On my arrival at the school, I expected to be teaching a class of teenagers, but found myself (at the age of 53) singing English nursery rhyme songs with a class of 5-year olds 🙂

 

The new job was a shock, but it paid good money and was easy and fun.  So I stayed....  I self-funded various CPD (Continuing Professional Development) courses to improve my pedagogical knowledge, such as Phonics and Montessori.  But I also never forgot the promise that I made to 'my god'.

 

One Saturday (my day off), I took a ferry boat across the river to Dala Township, a slum area that I was warned not to visit.  Monsoon rain had left many of the bamboo houses flooded, and it was a sad sight to see families standing up to their knees in dirty flood water.  My pedalo driver took me to visit the local monastery school, where 2 Burmese volunteer teachers were teaching Burmese language.  No-one spoke a word of English, and I remembered my promise.  So I started teaching English to these kids (see photo from 2012).

 

 

  I had to rapidly learn some Burmese 'what is this?', 'what colour is this?' and so on.

 

I never gave up on the promise to 'my god'.  Now, almost 13 years later, you will usually find me in Myanmar, (I'm in Thailand right now for a few weeks). I teach at the international schools to earn a living salary, and then I use some of that money to donate school books and teaching/learning resources to orphanages and 'poor' schools throughout the country. I have funded the development of a free Android English learning app that is used by thousands of students and local teachers.

 

I still keep in touch with my mad ex.  Prior to her giving birth to the gay guy's baby, the doctors at the hospital told me that if she had a hysterectomy, then that would 'calm her down'.  So on my authority (I was already divorced from her, so actually had no legal authority), the doctors removed her womb after the birth.  Indeed, this did calm her down, and aging also had a calming effect.  She still offers to look after me in my old age, but I think a jump off the highest building is preferable!!

 

As for myself, I don't really have plans to stop working, so long as my health holds up.  I've seen the benefits of my educational charity efforts in Myanmar, helping those who through no fault of their own were born into an unlucky environment and situation.  I had the good luck to be born British and in a decent middle-class family.  I went all the way to the bottom and came up again - so it's time to pay back 🙂

[Celsius]

The lowest point for me was when I discovered internet forums 

[JeffersLos]

1 hour ago, Sandboxer said:

Age 29, broke, freshly divorced, angry, nearly homeless, drunk with a gun in my mouth for a few seconds before I realized I didn't have the nuts to do it. Pretty much went up like bitcoin from there. Made my first million 8 yrs later (50% luck, 50% clever idea) and retired to SEA.

 

What I realize now is that had I actually pulled the trigger

 

Maybe you did, and everything you think has happened since is the brain's way of dealing with it before impact. 

[JeffersLos]

My lowest point was being fired for throwing a bagel at an intern.

 

My brother and I set up a rival production company that grew larger than the company that fired me. 

[Ben Zioner]

Dunno.. The first six months in Israel, when my dad decided he couldn't stay in Fance after De Gaulle's 1967 treason were pretty rough. Was 15, but then life got better and better, was easy to get laid, education was pragmatic and the 1973 Yom Kippur war experience orgasmic...

 

Well, marrying a French Goy, wasn't a great idea...

[Ben Zioner]

Just now, OneMoreFarang said:

The worst part of my life was when I had to join the military. A total waste of time with lots of idiots and a few good guys.

What army was that?

[tjintx]

2 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Was that the one where he "picked up" the drunk hooker?

Didn't she pick him up and paid for him and all, him being a god amongst men.

[Nick Carter icp]

27 minutes ago, JeffersLos said:

My lowest point was being fired for throwing a bagel at an intern.

 

 

 

   I hoped that you learnt a lesson and stopped throwing things at other people , that kind of behaviour shouldn't be tolerated 

[Lacessit]

I have always enjoyed my work, and have been productive for several companies. I was interrupted at the peak of my productivity.

 

My encounter with the management consulting firm of McKinsey was without doubt a low point in my  life.

 

McKinsey is a global giant, with about 27,000 employees. Like law firms, the holy grail is to become a partner. Many ex-employees wear their association as a badge of honour. In my view, it should be a badge of shame.

 

McKinsey operates on a simple and fraudulent principle. It makes a presentation to the board or senior management of a target company, promising with its cost-cutting programs to improve the bottom line. From memory, the target was $180 million, with a fee of $18 million to McKinsey for their expertise. Most boards are hypnotised by the prospect of substantial cost savings. Such is McKinsey’s reputation, it would take a brave senior manager to reject their overtures.

 

McKinsey does not target small businesses, because those simply could not afford them, or be worthwhile. My company was a large and juicy target.

 

It sounds wonderful, except it is smoke and mirrors. Two to three years after McKinsey has swept through an organisation, no-one ever goes back to the cost savings they have claimed to measure whether they were achieved in reality.

 

 

A number of individuals were selected as team leaders. Declining was not an option. I was isolated in a demountable hut outside the Engineering Department for six months, with a 386 laptop issued by McKinsey for company. I was supposed to sit there and think of nothing but cost saving ideas. My only human contact during that time was a few minutes every day with a McKinsey facilitator. The rest of the time I spent staring at a computer screen, wishing I could be back at work doing what I did best – finding new insights, developing new methods , and solving plant and customer problems.

 

I regard that six months in the demountable hut as the most barren and wasted of my entire life. Not surprisingly in hindsight, I developed depression. My wife was completely unsympathetic, telling me to get on with it. To her, I was just a provider.

 

I went to see the Works Doctor, in despair. I suspect I was not the only person he was seeing affected by the madness of McKinsey. He forthwith prescribed doxepin, a classic tricyclic antidepressant. I was to be on that medication for the next 20 years, and it may have contributed to the benign prostatic hyperplasia I have now.

 

I was quite stressed, even with the anti-depressant in my system, because one of the cost savings forced on me by the program was a reduction of two people in my department. These were human beings reduced to a bottom line.

 

At the end of the six months, all team leaders were to make a presentation to the CEO, who had the reputation of a hatchet man.

 

The HR manager made his presentation before me. He achieved the required savings while adding four people to his staff, and was fulsomely praised

 

When my turn came, I was excoriated by the CEO for not doing enough, despite reducing the staff level by two people. When I pointed out the discrepancy between my presentation and the HR manager, he got quite angry and told me to stop being evasive. I was outraged by the unfairness of it all. It was only my sense of self-preservation that prevented me from telling him to shove his program up his @rse. Financial independence would have been a wonderful thing at the time.

 

If I owned a business, and a manager came to me wanting to bring in McKinsey or any other consultant, I would fire that manager on the spot. My logic would be any manager who needs someone else to tell him how to run a business is no manager.

 

When an organisation kills or injures a person physically, there is usually hell to pay. Organisations such as BHP, Exxon and BP have shelled out billions for the environmental damage they have caused. I am wondering how much mental damage McKinsey has initiated, and whether there will ever be a reckoning through a class action by an enterprising legal firm.

 

I suppose there were a couple of positive results from my six month sojourn in Siberia. I had a truckload of work waiting for me, with various clamourings for priority. I had come through fairly severe depression intact, with my medication reduced to the minimum level. Perhaps most importantly, I had realised my marriage was no longer sustainable, and it was only a matter of time before we split up.

 

I am in remission from three types of cancer. Being diagnosed with them was not the lowest points of my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JeffersLos]

1 hour ago, Nick Carter icp said:

 I hoped that you learnt a lesson and stopped throwing things at other people

 

Sometimes people deserve to have objects thrown at them. 🙂 

[iLuvThai]

15 hours ago, 0ffshore360 said:

Poor sod !

He's probably referencing the Steven Wright bit where he said he was recently re-reading his Diary, day one. Slept all day, tired from the move. 

At least I hope he's not depressed over being born. 

[Elvis Presley]

The lowest point of my life was when I was constantly filled with hatred for everything and everyone.

 

Now my doctor, God bless him, has fixed me right up.

[heist]

Honestly the last two years has been an absolute nightmare I hope nobody else goes through. I'm too exhausted to tell the whole story but my almost two-year od son has been in hospital almost his entire life as his stomach twisted @ 6 weeks, leaving him with only 10cm of bowel. He should be coming home in the next couple of months as his weight has to reach a certain limit before they let him out and he's just about there now. 

Just been a nightmare dealing with giant rats, (some) uncaring doctors, going through the worst period of my life with zero privacy, living at hospital, showering in a cold bucket of water and sleeping on concrete, dealing with the stares and stupid comments and a baby who almost died twice. Despite his age he's been through maybe 15 or 20 surgeries and bounced around three hospitals. Some stuff is covered on insurance and the stuff that isn't has almost bankrupted us. 

We were encouraged early on by the surgeon and nutritionist to take him home and keep him comfortable and let him die and just have another kid instead but that was never really an option for us and I'm never giving up on him, no matter how bad things get. I think I have PTSD from dealing with this nightmare. Thanks for reading my blog post.