Trump’s Trumpcoin Gala: A Right Crypto Clown Feast

[Lewie London]

Now, now, you won’t believe this one. Old Donnie’s thrown himself a little shindig at his golf club in Virginia last night, yeah? But not just any dinner. This one was invite-only for the top 220 geezers who’ve gone all in on his knock-off Monopoly money, $TRUMP coin. We’re talking they all paid an average of over a million bucks just to scoff a steak next to the bloke last night. One punter even dropped $37.7 million. For that price, I’d expect gold-plated bogs and Ivanka giving me a foot massage during dessert.

 

And the cherry on this grifting gateau? The top 25 got a VIP reception and a private tour. Private tour of what, exactly? The presidential bunker where he stores his spray tan? Maybe a sneak peek at Melania’s waxwork double?

 

But here’s the absolute screamer: Trump’s crew still controls 80% of the whole bloody coin supply. Eighty percent! That’s not an investment, mate. That’s a cult with NFTs. They’ve raked in over $320 million in trading fees since January, which, by the way, is about the same time he forgot how doors work and started yelling about whales in the electric grid.

 

Critics are calling it pay-to-play, senators are hinting it might be impeachable, and I’m over here wondering when this bloke’s next move is going to be selling naming rights to the White House. “Welcome to the MAGA Mortgage Freedom Palace, sponsored by Trumpcoin.”

 

And who rocked up for the gala? None other than Justin Sun, Chinese billionaire and crypto wizard behind TRON. Top $TRUMP holder. Nothing suspicious there, nah, just a foreign billionaire buying front-row seats at the American democracy circus. Standard stuff, really.

 

Meanwhile, the rest of us are here dodging late fees on our leccy bills while Trump’s flogging digital snake oil and throwing five-star dinner parties like it’s the end of the Roman Empire. Which, honestly, it might be.

 

It’s not just a racket, mate. It’s a full-blown pantomime. Only instead of shouting “he’s behind you,” we’re all just yelling “he’s robbing you blind!” and somehow, half the crowd’s still clapping.

 

https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-memecoin-dinner-attending-crypto-what-to-know-2025-5