Crabbier Than a $2 Tart’s Nickers [] What’s Got You in a Twist, Love?

[Lewie London]

Now I don’t mean to be rude lads, but some of you lot out there are walkin’ round Thailand lookin’ like someone’s just nicked your last Isan sausage and farted in your banana shake. Miserable faces, short fuses, and grumblin’ like the green curry been made without chili. So I gotta ask… is this lot as crabby as a $2 tart’s knickers, or what?

 

You know the ones I mean. Them blokes sat on a bar stool at noon, arms folded, scowlin’ into their Singha like it just insulted their mum. Or the ones marchin’ through Big C like they’re leadin’ a protest against cheap shampoo and loud flip-flops. Always moanin’, about the weather, the girls, the food, the traffic, the other foreigners, the government, the visas, the heat, the taxes. Mate, if life’s that miserable, maybe Thailand ain’t the problem… maybe it’s just you?

 

Look, I get it mates. We all have our days. Maybe you got overcharged on a taxi ride. Maybe your regular massage bird’s ghosted you for a bloke with a motorbike, a fatter wallet, and slightly more hair. Maybe you ordered fried rice and they gave you fried lice, it happens bruv. But lighten up, yeah? You’re in paradise, innit. There’s a cold bevy in every direction, and at least four tarts in arms length ready to call you “P’Daddy” if you just smile halfway convincin’.

 

We didn’t come all this way to sulk, did we? You wanna be miserable, book a Ryanair flight and stand in the passport queue at Stansted for six hours. That’s proper misery. Out here, we should all be laughin’ more, flirtin’ badly, sweatin’ freely, and enjoyin’ life even when it smells vaguely of sewage and grilled squid.

 

So cheer up, lads. You ain’t stuck in traffic on the M25. You’re sweatin’ on the streets in the tropics with your comfy sandals and your dignity half intact. That’s livin’, innit?

 

So go grab a cold one, crack a smile, and for the love of Chang, get those metaphorical knickers unbunched.

[Keeps]

Yeah, erm, 50/50 on this one. Not it's best, not it's worse. 5 out of 10, must do better on the report card. Still better than anything from @Harrisfan though so I'll take it. 

[DezLez]

11 minutes ago, Keeps said:

Still better than anything from @Harrisfan

Rather a low barrier as anything from everyone else is better than it's so called contributions!

[HappyExpat57]

I don't see so many crabby expats as I see lonely and bored old timers. We've all seen them - sitting at a bar by themselves, nursing a Leo at 11:00 am, that lost look in their eyes. I fear turning into one of them almost more than finding a rosebud in my underwear.

[Gandtee]

 

[spidermike007]

In my humble opinion we all have a lot to be thankful for, living in Thailand is a blessing, and the quality of life here is quite high relative to so many other places in the world in 2025. That's assuming that we're able to maintain a good attitude, and to maintain a good deal of perspective on things.