Note Seen One Here For A While, Sooo......

[Foggy Bottom]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago -

God's Diet

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,

Cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds

so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.

And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, Yes!"

And Woman said, "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".

And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.

Then God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.

And Woman went from size 12 to size 14

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad".

And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".

And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks

and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter.

And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.

Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced he starchy centre into chips

and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.

And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.

And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.

And Man and Woman laughed >and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.

And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.

Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" and Man replied, Yes, and super size 'em".

And Satan said, "It is good."

And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then. .....

Satan chuckled, and created the National Health Service.

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is what kills you.

[Abrak]

Why did Minnie Mouse divorce Mickey?

Cause she is ######ing Goofy...boom... boom...

From my 11 year old....

[tigerbeer]

Why did Minnie Mouse divorce Mickey?

Cause she is ######ing Goofy...boom... boom...

From my 11 year old....

let us all know which school she goes to so that i can keep my kids away from there

still wonder why tom and jerry don't get along.

[Austhaied]

Why did Minnie Mouse divorce Mickey?

Cause she is ######ing Goofy...boom... boom...

From my 11 year old....

let us all know which school she goes to so that i can keep my kids away from there

still wonder why tom and jerry don't get along.

Did that coyote ever catch the roadrunner?

[Blinky Bill]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago...................................

As the thread title says? If this is to set the tone of the evening for the Free TV Piss-up I think I'd rather be elsewhere.

[Ulysses G.]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago...................................

As the thread title says? If this is to set the tone of the evening for the Free TV Piss-up I think I'd rather be elsewhere.

You and me both!

[Sanpatong]

still wonder why tom and jerry don't get along.

They tried that for a while in a later series (70's?) and it sucked ass.

[tigerbeer]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago...................................

As the thread title says? If this is to set the tone of the evening for the Free TV Piss-up I think I'd rather be elsewhere.

You and me both!

anyone up for a beer at Mad Dog's this coming saturday?

[Blinky Bill]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago...................................

As the thread title says? If this is to set the tone of the evening for the Free TV Piss-up I think I'd rather be elsewhere.

You and me both!

anyone up for a beer at Mad Dog's this coming saturday?

I'll put 3 grand on the bar. How about you TB? Better make it next Saturday week though.

[tigerbeer]

As the thread title says

Got sent these from a mate a few days ago...................................

As the thread title says? If this is to set the tone of the evening for the Free TV Piss-up I think I'd rather be elsewhere.

You and me both!

anyone up for a beer at Mad Dog's this coming saturday?

I'll put 3 grand on the bar. How about you TB? Better make it next Saturday week though.

next saturday sounds fine !