There may be a cultural or personal issue she wishes and wants her privacy and if thats the case inserting yourself may not be appropriate Each situation is, of course, different. However, when it comes to health matters; even those of a highly personal or sensitive nature emotion, embarrassment and shyness often need to take a back seat to obtaining the best possible understanding of the situation. I understand Sheryl's point that "it's the patient's choice", and ultimately that is absolutely correct. However, if it were my wife, I would want to be present, hear exactly what was being discussed, understand the doctor's reasoning, and ask questions wherever uncertainty remained. One thing I have learned over the years is that doctors can sometimes be rather blunt in their delivery of information. I have personally witnessed doctors tell my wife that something "might be cancer" when, statistically and clinically, a far more likely explanation was a benign polyp or another non-serious finding. Having done my own research and understanding the broader context - with the Dr agreeing, I was able to reassure my Wife that there were many more probable explanations and that no conclusions should be drawn before the appropriate investigations had been completed. A similar situation occurred with my wife's cousin, who phoned in a state of panic after becoming convinced she had cancer. The doctor had 'dropped the C Bomb', but no diagnostic results were yet available. After speaking with her directly, discussing her symptoms and the tests that had been performed, it became apparent that no doctor could reasonably have reached such a diagnosis at that stage. She had simply heard the word "cancer" and, understandably, the fear associated with it drowned out everything else that was said. As it turned out, she was completely healthy. For that reason, I often take my wife with me to medical appointments, she is encouraged to ask questions. Equally, I have attended appointments with family members when they have wanted another set of ears in the room. My brother-in-law, for example, asked me to accompany him before a major operation because he was understandably nervous. The surgeon answered a number of questions professionally and thoroughly, and I think it helped him make a more informed decision. I also remember my son, who was only ten at the time, asking an impressively thoughtful question during a consultation regarding a serious sports injury. The consultant was genuinely taken aback, complimented him on the quality of the question, and answered him directly rather than speaking through me or my wife. It was a good reminder that understanding often comes from asking questions, regardless of age or who we are. In this particular case, the original poster now finds himself seeking answers on an anonymous internet forum, yet unable to provide many of the details people would need to offer meaningful advice because he was not privy to the consultation itself. That is unfortunate. Had he been present, he may have been in a far stronger position - both to understand the medical advice being given and to seek informed guidance from others afterwards.
