Whats The Worst England Xi Ever?

[mrtoad]

Okay, after the previous thread which was discussing the attributes of a recall for Heskey, howabout seeing what people think about this particular side. I have picked an alround solid side, which is full of enthusiasim, but seriously lacking in talent. The management team should supplement the squad well.

Here's mine for starters.

1. Peter Bonetti - the cat can never be forgiven for his dreadful performance in 1970.

2. Neil Ruddock - Yes, the fat one did play at some point when he found a pair of shorts that fitted.

3. Gary Stevens - There were quite a few stevens back in the eighties, but if memory serves me right this one was the worst of them.

4. Carlton Palmer 9Captain) - In defence, the player who couldn't trap a bag of cement, but somehow managed to be a favourite of the turnips for sometime.“He covers every blade of grass out there,” said Saints manager, Dave Jones. “But that’s only because his first touch is so crap.”

5. Mel Sterland - Put the D in onkey. How he evr got capped, I have no idea.

6. Stuart Ripley - Another one cap, one footed wonder. Anyone remeber him. Midlesborough and Blackburn I beleive.

7. Geoff Thomas - The central midfield general. Who can ever forget his shot against France that hit the corner flag at Wembley. Yes, I was there that night.

8. Andy Sinton - another Taylor great.

9. Tony Daley - Yes, he would add some pace to the side, but so would a shoplifter being chased by security.

10. Emile Heskey - The one and only. Adds size and prescence, but not much else.

11. Michael Ricketts - Remember him?

Subs

GK David Beasant - Made David James look good.

13. John Barnes - Worth a mention, because it took England nearly 90 caps to realise he was crap.

14. Keith Curle - he gets in on the fact he was crap and he got Torquay relegated last season.

15. Francis Jeffers - The fox in th box. A good reason to keep fox hunting in the UK legal then.

16. Alan Smith (Arsenal) - Too many caps, not enough goals.

17. John Salako - Thanks Thaipauly, forgot about him. Now added as a last minute inclusion.

Management Team

Manager: Graham Taylor

Assistant Managers : Steve McClown and Lawrie Macmenemy

Coaches: Phil (Yes boss) Neal Howard Wilkinson

Penalty Coach: Gareth Southgate

Okay, can anyone pick a team that could lose to this one?

Edited August 15, 2007 by mrtoad

[ThaiPauly]

What no John Solako?

Surely there must be a place for him?

[mrtoad]

What no John Solako?

Surely there must be a place for him?

Sorry, he was so shit I forgot about him

I have know rectified that mistake, and given him a place in the squad.

Edited August 15, 2007 by mrtoad

[Jared]

Hey John Barnes was my hero

[mrtoad]

Hey John Barnes was my hero

Okay, okay he was good in a Red Shirt, but as soon as he put the White one on he changed into a different type of player. He lived off one goal for so many years.

[muckypups]

Neil Ruddock

Jason Wilcox

Barry Venison

Keith Curle

John Fashanu

Paul Bracewell

Enough to make any committed supporter lose the will to live... and Phil Neville has blown it on many an International occasion..

[muckypups]

..and not to mention the man who's father should have been an England manager at one time.. Nigel Clough! Quite simply, a disaster..

[spot]

13. John Barnes - Worth a mention, because it took England nearly 90 caps to realise he was crap

He probably would have been a better national player if he was Brazilian or Argentinian.

[mrbojangles]

Neil Ruddock

Jason Wilcox

Barry Venison

Keith Curle

John Fashanu

Paul Bracewell

Enough to make any committed supporter lose the will to live... and Phil Neville has blown it on many an International occasion..

Avery good choice of <deleted> there Mucky (including Keith Curle)

[Neeranam]

David Beckham

Peter Crouch

[mrtoad]

David Beckham

Peter Crouch

Neeranam, seriously these two would struggle to be selected for the Donkey sqaud.

[chachachacha]

David Beckham

Peter Crouch

Neeranam, seriously these two would struggle to be selected for the Donkey sqaud.

mike duxbury & any other ###### that played for that red <deleted>

[toasted]

Around the same time Barnes scored 'that' goal against Brazil, there was a Stoke City winger in the team by the name of Chamberlain (if I remember rightly) who made Barnes on an off day look like Maradonna on a good day.

[scousemouse]

What no John Solako?

Surely there must be a place for him?

Sorry, he was so shit I forgot about him

I have know rectified that mistake, and given him a place in the squad.

And what about a place on the squad for fat boy David Unsworth .

I remember I watched him play for England against Japan in a friendly tournament involving Brazil and Graeme 'i'm bent' le saux scored a screamer.

[scousemouse]

Steve Guppy ( Leicester ) and Gavin McCann could be back up !!!!!.

[mrtoad]

After looking at a few further additions I'm starting to feel quite upset. I'm pretty sure I deserved to have got at least one cap

[Sunderland]

There may be worse, but I would go for ...

George Utley (Barnsley)

William Scott (Brentford)

Steve Foster (Brighton)

Geoff Bradford (Bristol Rovers)

Norman Bullock (Bury)

John Pearson (Crewe)

George Tweedy (Grimsby)

Owen Williams (Leyton Orient)

Leonard Graham (Millwall)

Henry Hardy (Stockport County)

Alfred Jones (Walsall)

The only downside to this selection is that most of this lot would need digging up to play for England.

[mrtoad]

There may be worse, but I would go for ...

George Utley (Barnsley)

William Scott (Brentford)

Steve Foster (Brighton)

Geoff Bradford (Bristol Rovers)

Norman Bullock (Bury)

John Pearson (Crewe)

George Tweedy (Grimsby)

Owen Williams (Leyton Orient)

Leonard Graham (Millwall)

Henry Hardy (Stockport County)

Alfred Jones (Walsall)

The only downside to this selection is that most of this lot would need digging up to play for England.

Steve Foster, wasn;t that the guy with the stupid headband that played for Luton?

[Sunderland]

There may be worse, but I would go for ...

George Utley (Barnsley)

William Scott (Brentford)

Steve Foster (Brighton)

Geoff Bradford (Bristol Rovers)

Norman Bullock (Bury)

John Pearson (Crewe)

George Tweedy (Grimsby)

Owen Williams (Leyton Orient)

Leonard Graham (Millwall)

Henry Hardy (Stockport County)

Alfred Jones (Walsall)

The only downside to this selection is that most of this lot would need digging up to play for England.

Steve Foster, wasn;t that the guy with the stupid headband that played for Luton?

Yes, Portsmouth, Brighton, Villa, Luton, Oxford and Brighton again!

Best remembered for missing the 1983 FA Cup final against Manchester United through suspension when he was the Seagulls' skipper. Luckily Man U grabbed a 2-2 draw after Gordon Smith's infamous last minute miss. In the replay, Foster returned to skipper the side and Brighton were thrashed 4-0 ... oh dear!

[mrtoad]

There may be worse, but I would go for ...

George Utley (Barnsley)

William Scott (Brentford)

Steve Foster (Brighton)

Geoff Bradford (Bristol Rovers)

Norman Bullock (Bury)

John Pearson (Crewe)

George Tweedy (Grimsby)

Owen Williams (Leyton Orient)

Leonard Graham (Millwall)

Henry Hardy (Stockport County)

Alfred Jones (Walsall)

The only downside to this selection is that most of this lot would need digging up to play for England.

Steve Foster, wasn;t that the guy with the stupid headband that played for Luton?

Yes, Portsmouth, Brighton, Villa, Luton, Oxford and Brighton again!

Best remembered for missing the 1983 FA Cup final against Manchester United through suspension when he was the Seagulls' skipper. Luckily Man U grabbed a 2-2 draw after Gordon Smith's infamous last minute miss. In the replay, Foster returned to skipper the side and Brighton were thrashed 4-0 ... oh dear!

Oh Yes, I remember, " Smith must score". That was the year when BHA arrived by helicopter as well.

[darrendsd]

There may be worse, but I would go for ...

George Utley (Barnsley)

William Scott (Brentford)

Steve Foster (Brighton)

Geoff Bradford (Bristol Rovers)

Norman Bullock (Bury)

John Pearson (Crewe)

George Tweedy (Grimsby)

Owen Williams (Leyton Orient)

Leonard Graham (Millwall)

Henry Hardy (Stockport County)

Alfred Jones (Walsall)

The only downside to this selection is that most of this lot would need digging up to play for England.

It's actually HARRY Hardy, Stockport legend!

[MSingh]

I had the " dis " pleasure of being at Mr Rickett's only game for England ( i think ?? ) in Amsterdam in the Friendly where Vassell score thta overhead kick, in the Dutch End, love it....

[StevieH]

john barnes was a football genius. not his fault most england players weren't on his wavelength.

earl barratt

andy gray

michael ball

marcus stewart

barry venison

[MSingh]

john barnes was a football genius. not his fault most england players weren't on his wavelength.

earl barratt

andy gray

michael ball

marcus stewart

barry venison

Marcus Stewart neveed for England did he ??

Bristol Rovers Marcus Stewart ??

[StevieH]

ooh did he not? i could've sworn he did when he was at ipswich or sunderland.

swap him for david hirst then in that case. or david nugent.

[Jockstar]

john barnes was a football genius. not his fault most england players weren't on his wavelength.

earl barratt

andy gray

michael ball

marcus stewart

barry venison

Andy Gray is Scottish.

[bkkjames]

Goalkeepers.

Chris Woods, Scott Carson,

Richard Wright,

Defenders.

Andy Hinchcliff, Chris Powell,

Neil Rudduck, Rob Jonse,

Antony Gardner, Steve Howey,

Keith Curle, Earl Barrett,

Tony Dorigo,

Midfielders.

Geoff Thomas, Carlton Palmer,

Andy Sinton, Seth Johnson,

Tony Dailey, Barry Venerson,

Steve Guppy,

Forwards.

David White, Michael Ricketts,

Nigel Clough, Brian Deane,

pick 11 from that

[StevieH]

john barnes was a football genius. not his fault most england players weren't on his wavelength.

earl barratt

andy gray

michael ball

marcus stewart

barry venison

Andy Gray is Scottish.

other one, the ex-palace and villa player. black lad capped by graham taylor.

[whichschool]

Thats funny that team is totally crap, Ol Turnip Traylor had some cracking players at the time aswell, PFA winner and Sheff Weds Chris Waddle who couldnt get in his squad despite being Englands best ever left winger springs to mind, what a <deleted> he really was and it brings back all my dormant hatred for the fool the prik deserved all the abuse he got from the press and more for ruining my summer 1994.

[thaimiller]

David (tampax) Hirst and Brian Deane both crap strikers

Edited December 11, 2009 by thaimiller