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Posted

G'day all.

I've 2 questions that I need help with. I'll put into 2 separate topics as they are a little different.

I'm going to visit my on line girlfriend at Christmas. Spending 5 days. We've been corresponding for several months, have never met. I've MSN chatted with some of her family. Girlfriend is reasonably well off for a country Thai girl. Owns shop, rice farm & a few cattle. Her parents semi retired & help out in the shop. Just a little background. I'd like to buy her family some gifts, something appropriate. That's where I need help.

Her mum.. Is it appropriate to buy her earrings ? Too personal ? One idea I had was to get her a good quality chief's / kitchen knife. would a Thai country grandmother appreciate something like this ? Some more suggestions please.

Her dad.. Leather wallet ? Pocket knife ? He doesn't drink or smoke. Some suggestions please.

Her sister... She's mid 20's. Earrings ? Perfume ? Chocolates ? Some suggestions please.

For my girl I'm thinking along the lines of Earrings, Perfume.

They'll all get an Aussie cap & some other Aussie "stuff". Am I on the right track ?

Would really appreciate some help.

Thanks.

Malt48.

Posted

Not sure about the knife concept - for me, it would be great. I had a Viet friend that I was going to give some dressmaking shears to for her birthday & was told not to give sharp items because it meant I wanted her to get hurt.

Earrings - whilst most probably have peirced ears, you can't be sure without asking. necklace may be better. Jewellery is 'wearable money' & will be sold at the first opportunity. Bear in mind that most of the jewellery in Aust is only 9 carat, so it won't be looked on to well when they have it checked.

Whilst they aren't all this way, consider that what you give on the first visit often sets the precedent of expectation for the following.

Posted
Not sure about the knife concept - for me, it would be great. I had a Viet friend that I was going to give some dressmaking shears to for her birthday & was told not to give sharp items because it meant I wanted her to get hurt.

Earrings - whilst most probably have peirced ears, you can't be sure without asking. necklace may be better. Jewellery is 'wearable money' & will be sold at the first opportunity. Bear in mind that most of the jewellery in Aust is only 9 carat, so it won't be looked on to well when they have it checked.

Whilst they aren't all this way, consider that what you give on the first visit often sets the precedent of expectation for the following.

here is what typical Thai "country women/ men" appreciate

1. Mother = Gold

2. Father = Whisky (Thai brand does it)

3. Sister/ brother = Motorbike

4. Girlfriend = House

5. Grandmother if still available = Buffalo

I think with these presents in the basket you will be VERY welcome :o

Posted
Not sure about the knife concept - for me, it would be great. I had a Viet friend that I was going to give some dressmaking shears to for her birthday & was told not to give sharp items because it meant I wanted her to get hurt.

Earrings - whilst most probably have peirced ears, you can't be sure without asking. necklace may be better. Jewellery is 'wearable money' & will be sold at the first opportunity. Bear in mind that most of the jewellery in Aust is only 9 carat, so it won't be looked on to well when they have it checked.

Whilst they aren't all this way, consider that what you give on the first visit often sets the precedent of expectation for the following.

here is what typical Thai "country women/ men" appreciate

1. Mother = Gold

2. Father = Whisky (Thai brand does it)

3. Sister/ brother = Motorbike

4. Girlfriend = House

5. Grandmother if still available = Buffalo

I think with these presents in the basket you will be VERY welcome :o

Girlfriend gold aswell.

And we have a winner !!!!!

:D:D

Posted

If you want to have gifts with you to to present:

For her younger sister an unlocked mobile phone,so that she can buy a Thai sim card ,would make a great gift.

Thai phones are clunkier or very expensive ,whereas most models bought outside Asia are reasonably priced.

I would steer away from Western imported jewellery,as gold has here has both monetery and design value.For the mother ,perhaps well knowm moisturising cosmetics (duty free?)

If you can get a family photo (jpg)from your girlfriend.go a photographers where you live,get the image increased,printed and framed .I'm sure,that this will gain the father's assent as you are joining the whole family.

For your girlfriend ,try and coax out the information,to be sure it is what she actually wants (plus cosmetics,another phone,and cuddly toy)

Good Luck

:o Wiley Coyote

Posted

Will u have any alone time with her in Bangkok prior to going to the village?

If yes I would just tell her your budget and ask her to help u pick on gold gifts at a gold store.

I have been with two Isaan girls and that is what they both wanted.

I would bring gifts from the states but it was the gold they would show off

Where will u be spending your time?

Posted

Sorry, but the answer is GOLD, GOLD, GOLD or GOLD. (Not farang gold, crap)

You might see a trend developing here, but it is true.

Thais will not care what form it is in they will always buy gold as an investment rather than a bank deposit.

Posted
Will u have any alone time with her in Bangkok prior to going to the village?

If yes I would just tell her your budget and ask her to help u pick on gold gifts at a gold store.

I have been with two Isaan girls and that is what they both wanted.

I would bring gifts from the states but it was the gold they would show off

Where will u be spending your time?

You might be right,save expenses & luggage/stress , meet GF and buy in BKK

ronthompson has given good advice

:o Wiley Coyote

Posted
And money for when the Buffalo gets sick...... :o

You will soon learn that, in the context of gold, 'one baht' (probably the minimum respectable trinklet) is not a trivial amount. I hear that the price of a baht by weight has recent reached over 12,000 baht (currency).

Sadly the earlier post about gold, houses, motor cycles and so on isn't as far from the truth as some of us would like to think, certainly not in terms of unspoken expectations. There are exceptions but also many NE families who fit the pattern. You need to consider how far down this road you want to go before you really get to know your GF. I wouldn't be dropping into the 'raan tong' just yet.

Mind you, if things don't work out PM me and I will put you in touch with my 'niece'. She's a nice country girl who has never been near the bars and is entirely devoid of the shiny stuff!

Posted

I would like to add my story here if nobody minds,

Malt, same as you, id been chatting and talking with my on-line thai girl for 3 months before coming to see her, that was 3 years ago, I stayed with her for 10 days, I had thought deeply about bringing her something from the UK, but decided against it, no, i am not tight with money, but my thinking was that gifts would detract her from the real reason of my visit, and the real reason was to see if we could get on ok together and have a future, on our last day together, I took her to a gold shop and bought identical rings for us, she told me she would like to come to UK, so i agreed, BUT, i told her, you must pay half the airfare, with her farm buisness and her beauty salon, she had the money in 4 months, we had a good 5months in uk and i sold up and have a new beauty salon/living acc in our village, ive been here near 2 years now, and none of her big family expect or recieve any gifts from me/us.

This is going against all the posters, but really, if you and GF get on ok, take her and the family to the local BBQ pub and treat them to a slap-up meal and beer ect, whatever they want!! If you arrive with gifts for all, they will expect this everytime and look on you as a rich falang and prey on you for money for the farm, house ect, and if you are happy with GF when you leave, buy her some gold of her choice [within reason of course] and good luck to you Malt, Lickey.

Posted
Not sure about the knife concept - for me, it would be great. I had a Viet friend that I was going to give some dressmaking shears to for her birthday & was told not to give sharp items because it meant I wanted her to get hurt.

Earrings - whilst most probably have peirced ears, you can't be sure without asking. necklace may be better. Jewellery is 'wearable money' & will be sold at the first opportunity. Bear in mind that most of the jewellery in Aust is only 9 carat, so it won't be looked on to well when they have it checked.

Whilst they aren't all this way, consider that what you give on the first visit often sets the precedent of expectation for the following.

here is what typical Thai "country women/ men" appreciate

1. Mother = Gold

2. Father = Whisky (Thai brand does it)

3. Sister/ brother = Motorbike

4. Girlfriend = House

5. Grandmother if still available = Buffalo

I think with these presents in the basket you will be VERY welcome :bah:

Girlfriend gold aswell.

And we have a winner !!!!!

:bah::o

:o:D:D:D:D

However you forgot....

Land.

Iron buffalo (tractor).

2 million in the bank.

Nieces and nephews (who look remarkably like her) education.

And you have hit the jackpot!!!!!

;):D

Posted

Just a brief note that people are often not very honest when chatting online. That is for you to judge, just don't get your hopes up and be careful. As for gifts:

Her mum.. Is it appropriate to buy her earrings ? Too personal ? One idea I had was to get her a good quality chief's / kitchen knife. would a Thai country grandmother appreciate something like this ? Some more suggestions please.

I advise against ANY jewelry. Only Thai gold would be really liked and I think that would be inappropriate for several reasons. I have had good responses from creams and body wash type products.

Her dad.. Leather wallet ? Pocket knife ? He doesn't drink or smoke. Some suggestions please.

My father in law is very proud of the wristwatch I gave him and the reading glasses with case are also greatly valued.

Her sister... She's mid 20's. Earrings ? Perfume ? Chocolates ? Some suggestions please.

My sister in law LOVES makeup kits.

For my girl I'm thinking along the lines of Earrings, Perfume.

As I said, forget jewelry for now. It will actually be a good indicator of her intentions if she starts asking for gold. I really don't think you should get her anything. You are going a long way to see her and that should be gift enough for a first meeting. If anything I would get her something like a stuffed animal or maybe some chocolates.

They'll all get an Aussie cap & some other Aussie "stuff". Am I on the right track ?

Not bad if you keep it tasteful. If you mean Australia logo type things fine but I am picturing hats with kagaroo heads and tails which may be amuzing at first but will soon turn into "what was he thinking?". :o

Whatever you get make sure it is brought from Australia and don't spend too much. Expensive gifts will only serve to make you feel foolish if things don't go well. If it does go well you are setting your self up as a spendthrift that has more money than he knows what to do with. There will be no shortage of extended relatives that will be happy to give you ideas on how to fix that problem.

Good luck.

Posted

No pocket knife or any other knife!!!! He will either reject it or try to pay you for it. It is a Thai customs that knives are an absolute NO for presents.

My (Thai) friends tend to bring me carving knifes, but then request I pay them one Baht for it, so we can stay friends. If you present somebody with a knife it is seen like you want to sever the bonds you have.

For the mother I would bring something she can show off with when going to the pagoda. A nice shawl she can wear, for instance.

Posted
I would like to add my story here if nobody minds,

Malt, same as you, id been chatting and talking with my on-line thai girl for 3 months before coming to see her, that was 3 years ago, I stayed with her for 10 days, I had thought deeply about bringing her something from the UK, but decided against it, no, i am not tight with money, but my thinking was that gifts would detract her from the real reason of my visit, and the real reason was to see if we could get on ok together and have a future, on our last day together, I took her to a gold shop and bought identical rings for us, she told me she would like to come to UK, so i agreed, BUT, i told her, you must pay half the airfare, with her farm buisness and her beauty salon, she had the money in 4 months, we had a good 5months in uk and i sold up and have a new beauty salon/living acc in our village, ive been here near 2 years now, and none of her big family expect or recieve any gifts from me/us.

This is going against all the posters, but really, if you and GF get on ok, take her and the family to the local BBQ pub and treat them to a slap-up meal and beer ect, whatever they want!! If you arrive with gifts for all, they will expect this everytime and look on you as a rich falang and prey on you for money for the farm, house ect, and if you are happy with GF when you leave, buy her some gold of her choice [within reason of course] and good luck to you Malt, Lickey.

Great well balanced way to go about things

For a first visit something like a T-shirt with Koala print would be fine

Save the Gold and motorbikes for later when you are sure she is THE girl !

Posted

About 2 years ago when my wife and I were in Oz for a holiday, she bought a whole heap of those woolies/coles bags for presents. The ones that they sell in the shops for putting shopping in instead of using plastic bags. When we got back they were a hit with all the family and friends in the village.

So now every time I go back to Oz I make sure I buy about 10 for presents when I return. Mind you this is when the relationship has already started. Not sure if they would be a good idea when first meeting everybody.

Posted

Suggest you keep it simple on the first meeting. A gift for the lady is really sufficient to start. She will be thrilled with a brand name perfume such as Chanel or others of like kind. For the rest of the family, an evening out for dinner is always great fun for all. MK Resturant, specializing in steamboat meals, seems to be a real treat for most folks in Isaan. Not sure where in Issan you are headed but MK Resturants seem to be just about everywhere.

Posted

Malt48,

Listen mate I sure your taking the piss with this post, Look at your facts, spending 5 days Los (land of smiles), On line girlfriend , have never Meet, MSN chatted with some of her family. (what do you read Thai and the family write Sing-lish)

Girl friend is reasonable well off for a country Thai girl, owns shop, rice farm and few cattle, parents semi retired. (Where did you get this info from and how did you asset that)

Now listen I know your playing Dumb here (one would hope) you’re a lot smarter than this, ‘aren’t you’?????

But then wait maybe from your post, you are sincere and you really want GF & Isaan family walking around in Aussie caps and other Aussie “stuff” am I on the right track Malt?????

You asked for IT, and would appreciate some help so then, get plenty of T-shirts printed up with a large photo of your-self on them with โละทิ้ง under it.

Bring plenty of cash, so it’s straight down to business no time for courtship /wooing 5minute rule applied here right.

Let the little head do all the thinking but keep a little Aussie cap on him always ‘don’t want any sun-spots or heat-strokes’.

Have some other suggestions also can’t say them here, but if your up in Isaan more than a day or two would be happy to meet-up and knock them around so too speak.

If all the above is an incorrect evaluation follow Lickey advice (which is good).

Regards

C-sip-Degree

Posted

Thankyou C-Sip and others, let me elaborate a bit more, a mate in UK actually got engaged online [without meeting her] and bought a diamond ring to present her with last Xmas, he arrived in KK gave her the ring and variuos other gifts from UK, he paid for new tryes on her car and a full service ect, took her to a plush hotel for 2 nights, paid for and had installed an electric shower in her house, bought her new clothes ect, then after 6 days she told him to leave, he said 'sorry?' her brother and 2 mates came into the room and looking threatening, also asked him to leave, which he did in a hurry, he hired a car and came to see us in Namsom, he was inconsoleable for a few days, all in all, he had spent 47k on her, plus the diamond ring which he never disclosed the price.

So bringing gifts wont make a shits worth of difference, I know of 2 girls in our village who are visited by 3 different falang a year, and they bring gifts for the family, and of course the family eggs them on, cos they want the gifts!!

Think on Malt48, let her see you as a boyfriend, not 1 of the 3 kings of orient arr.

Rgds, Lickey.

Posted

Well yuo could show up with a good smile on yuor face abd a good attirude adn see where it goes. Then if y=ou really believe the family warrants gifts then you would no know what the needs are. If they or she don'r warrant gifts then you not goign to feel like a complete fool. Probably won;t spn end hours comdeming Issan women. Just a thought what kind of a gift would give someone sight unseen in your own country. The idea is to check yuo bag for the flight, not your brian.

You may think your walking into a world of naive people who need your help to make it. Just what many would like to you to think, but not all. So far they sem to have survived and they haven't even seen you yet. Stop dead in your tracks take a deep breath and thinks ahead a bit.

If you and the lady do hit it off and that may not be the case, do you really want to be preceived as the family bank. Slow down and see wherre it goes, you will have ample opportunity to help the family in the future if this turns into something.

You need to understand something these people are not stupid they are not straving to death they have clothes ace to medical attention, and more them likely own thier own home, no mortgage. Sorry but in mot places in the world this is not poverty.

So the best gift you could give them if they are in fact sincere people is being a good guest.

What brought the thought of gifts on your first meeting with them to you. If it was your new love that you know nothing of then I would really be careful at this stage. You know I have met a lot of Issan people of the past five years and none of them ever expected me to show up with gifts. They were very happy with respect and courtesy.

Sorry didn't mean to get on the soap box, but you need to give these people a chance. Don't overwhelm them with gifts that may or may or may not mean something to them. If that is thier only motivation in knowing you, your in deep trouble. Just give it a chance to develop with kindness and courtesy and you may end up wih something very worthwhile

Posted

C-sip-degree (our forum diplomat), Lickey, Ray23 and Lite Beer make some very good points. It is not likely you actually chatted with the lady's mom and dad. At best she might have been typing what they said or simply telling what she would want you to think. Check out the situation before you open up your pocketbook. You will only be visiting for 5 days and if these people are sincere, they will not ask you for anything. If they start to tell you sad stories about how sick a family member is, how they need money to buy or fix something or anything like this, beware!!! There are a lot of scam artists working the "friendship and dating" internet services in Thailand. I hope all goes well for you but don't be crushed if this turns out not quite as you expect.

edit -added Ray23, he beat me to the post!

Posted
here is what typical Thai "country women/ men" appreciate

1. Mother = Gold

2. Father = Whisky (Thai brand does it)

3. Sister/ brother = Motorbike

4. Girlfriend = House

5. Grandmother if still available = Buffalo

What a load of crap.

It should read 'here is what typical Thai "country women/ men" expect from a farang BF found on an internet site'.

OP the Thai word for love is spelt G.O.L.D. when translated into de ingrish.

All the best.

Posted

Hi guys,

you dont think that this post is just trying to spice up the forum and keep it alive do you?

Easy to do if you are in the know if you know what I mean so to speak.

Posted

Well... where do I begin?

For those that have offered sincere advice, both positive & nagative, thanks a lot. Contrary to some of the snyde remarks, I am genuine and was looking for some genuine advice.

To "C-sip-Degree'', sincere sympathy. No doubt you've suffered some real kicks in the guts from several Thai ladies & so far haven't found the courage or chatacter to get over it. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. I sure hope your looking for some professional help for your condition. Tell you what... I'll cancel my trip to Pattaya & Issan & let you have the money for councilling.

I know that I've asked several questions over the past months. Very remiss of me for not replying & giving an update. Sincere apologizies.

On three occasions I've offered the GF money for english lessons. No thanks, I've sufficient money but thank you very much for the offer.

The family members that I've spoken with are uncle & cousin, both school teachers. Uncle has been to New Zealand and Australia. Lovely chap to chat with. Uncle & GF are driving 150km to Khon Kaen to meet me at the airport when I arrive.

If this is a scam it is surely one to beat all scams.... but I'm taking all advice & going with an open mind & closed wallet. Really didn't think asking for advice re a few inexpensive gifts would create such negative vibes.

So... maybe I'm just an Aussie bumpkin who's going to get fleeced.... can't say I haven't been warned. I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks again to all who sent advice... even you C-sip-Degree, I'm sure you must have something positive going for you.

Hugs & kisses.... Malt48.

Posted
Hi guys,

you dont think that this post is just trying to spice up the forum and keep it alive do you?

Easy to do if you are in the know if you know what I mean so to speak.

Do you think it's working... :o

Posted

This is why we are all urging you to slow down, this is all to common here:

"source: The Nation/breaking news Oct 5 2007

A 63-year-old Briton called for help from the authorities to force a Thai woman to return his money nearly Bt17 million after she chased him out of her house.

Stephen Jones said he had met the woman in Pattaya in 2001 and decided to sell all of his assets in England and gave the money to her to buy a house and plots of land in Kalasin to live with her.

But the woman chased him out of the house two months ago after she had got all of his money.

He said he became broke and wanted his money back so that he could return to his homeland.

Kalasin chief public prosecutor said the woman could not yet be charged with cheating because the two had got married.

He said the Kalasin public prosecutor office would investigate to see if the assets had been bought with Jones' money or not and would see if Jones had willingly given the assets to the woman.

He said it was possible that Jones could sue the woman for equal divisions of the assets.

The Nation"

Posted
Well... where do I begin?

For those that have offered sincere advice, both positive & nagative, thanks a lot. Contrary to some of the snyde remarks, I am genuine and was looking for some genuine advice.

To "C-sip-Degree'', sincere sympathy. No doubt you've suffered some real kicks in the guts from several Thai ladies & so far haven't found the courage or chatacter to get over it. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. I sure hope your looking for some professional help for your condition. Tell you what... I'll cancel my trip to Pattaya & Issan & let you have the money for councilling.

I know that I've asked several questions over the past months. Very remiss of me for not replying & giving an update. Sincere apologizies.

On three occasions I've offered the GF money for english lessons. No thanks, I've sufficient money but thank you very much for the offer.

The family members that I've spoken with are uncle & cousin, both school teachers. Uncle has been to New Zealand and Australia. Lovely chap to chat with. Uncle & GF are driving 150km to Khon Kaen to meet me at the airport when I arrive.

If this is a scam it is surely one to beat all scams.... but I'm taking all advice & going with an open mind & closed wallet. Really didn't think asking for advice re a few inexpensive gifts would create such negative vibes.

So... maybe I'm just an Aussie bumpkin who's going to get fleeced.... can't say I haven't been warned. I'll keep you all updated.

Thanks again to all who sent advice... even you C-sip-Degree, I'm sure you must have something positive going for you.

Hugs & kisses.... Malt48.

Malt48

You’re wrong about the several ladies part ‘being from any country in the world’.

Your right about the kick part, but I will have to expand this out to the legs, chest, head, area also, not just kicks there two, there was a furious amount of punches thrown also. ‘Ouch’

I still think I have the courage and character ‘not chatacter as you put it’, for one I’m only 35, and two married to a Isaan lady for nine + years, live in Isaan with family and business.

And you know another funny thing is that I’ve never been to Pattaya.

As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. ‘Gosh is that saying from a dream-works picture or Sunday masses’, ‘I don’t think you should give advice to me or anybody in your situation as most guy’s don’t need internet shopping for a FP’.

Not sure what ‘councilling’ was, so I constructively consulted a counsel for contrast and compared the wisdom and judgment or the New World Webster’s, after this ‘counseling’, this made me feel totally confident.

So please send $29: 99 to my account c- sip@Siam bank acc num: 23-435-756-981. For today’s steps I have taken.

Asking advice is very easy but the crap you’re asking about is everyday no-brain-er (look in the mirror and think about it) if you think a chief’s knife is appropriate bring one what do I care.

OK I give you some free advice from the heart Malt48, if you want your trip to Isaan to go down well the first time you’ll visit simple, when you get to her Village/house tell her that you and the men folk are going to organizes buying one pig 60-80 kg for the days BBQ should be @ around $6000bht live. Give some money to the GF so her and the Aunt’s can head in to the local market for the vegetables/extra’s etc maybe a box or two of beer and a few bottles of white whisky, Lao

Butcher, BBQ, Drink, all will enjoy.

Regards

C-sip

(FP stands for Female Partner in this post)

Posted
I am genuine.

We're sure you are.

Just 2 Q's:

When she says 'Miss you' at the end of her e-mails, letters, phone calls do you believe it to be used uniquely to you?

Have you ever been to LoS?

To "C-sip-Degree'', sincere sympathy. No doubt you've suffered some real kicks in the guts from several Thai ladies & so far haven't found the courage or chatacter to get over it

You know it's weird. People asking for advice about TG's and relationships usually think I'm bitter too. Nope, I'm just happy I was coming here on and off for 5 or 6 years before coming out here to live. It's all too easy to be love/lust struck here and relationship values are nothing like the west's. It takes a long time to understand this country and it's people, I might understand it in 60 yrs or so.

BTW, a 36 yr old bloke I know met his wife on the net 4 yr's ago and they're still together.

All the best, and my advice would be...

If you're not desperate for a relationship, come out and live here for a couple of years before you decide to settle down, there's no need to jump into things. Come out, have fun and think with the head on your shoulders.

Posted

When I first went to Surin to meet the future in-laws I took no gifts. I was to pay future mother-in-law a 10 baht note before I was allowed into their house. This was because I took my teruk's virginity I think....but one never knows in LOS. At the doorway there were a couple of candles burning...and my feet were washed in a bowl of water by my teruk, at the doorway. After that, all was OK. I was accepted as part of the family (well, one never knows for certain about this, ea?)

Father in-law loves the Christmas lights I gave him later in our relationship. Mum loves the creams, sisters love the Aussie T-shirts, Kids (thousands of them!) love the mars bars.

For first meeting with an internet girl I think:

No knives (agree with all you guys) or sharp instruments.

Gold... oh . how nice...then you are expected to be the family bank from that point on.

Maybe a voucher from the local vet for the buffalo who will soon be sick, or a voucher for the surgeon who will remove grandmas cataracts. (oops sorry, joking here).

Honestly....no gifts fot for anyone....take a swag of mars bars or different sweets for the family/village kids...you will be swarmed by these delightful kids . Do this and gain a lot of merit. I assume you are not a phedophile

A good slap up meal...goes well.

Ask for a trip to the local temple...and get a basket of goodies for the local monks....wow, you are a 'good man and I lub you forever'.

Hope this helps and good luck....I have been married to a good Issan girl for 17 years and couldn't be happier...

AussieCollin

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