So, who are the different characters in Bangkok, and at what night spots are they to be found? I offer the following:

1. Washington Square Man

Washington Square man is perhaps the easiest character to identify. Invariably an expat, he is usually an American, casually dressed, and of limited financial means. As befits the rather dingey and dimly lit bars he inhabits, Washington Square man is generally middle aged, reserved, uninspiring and dull. Only rarely does he take a girl out of the bar, and when he does so his choice of partner is lamentable. Good taste, it seems, is most definitely not his strong point.

2. Soi Cowboy Man

Soi Cowboy man is also an expat, although in terms of age he tends to range from the surprisingly young to the sprightly but elderly. Better dressed and more outgoing than Washington Square man, he is adventurous in his pursuit of pleasure and is often to be seen hopping from one outlet to the next. Be warned though: Soi Cowboy man can be more than a little cliquey when he is with others of his ilk, and is generally averse to making the acquaintance of tourists.

3. Nana Man

Nana man is harder to define as he can be either an expat or a tourist.

If he is a tourist he tends to come from Europe (particularly Germany and the UK), Australia or the US. Only very rarely is Nana man an Asian. Instantly identifiable by his obesity and social ineptitude, he is seldom fashion conscious and frequently exhibits a curious tendency to wear trousers which terminate 2 or 3 inches above his ankles. Much speculation surrounds this last point, but the general consensus is that he is simply preparing himself for a flood.

If Nana man is an expat however, he is usually younger, considerably neater in appearance and much more likely to resemble a human being. More sociable than Soi Cowboy man and Washington Square man, he is happy to talk to both tourists and girls alike, and at most times does so with a pleasant, natural charm. Also noteworthy is his superior knowledge of the industry: with the possible exception of Pattaya man, Nana man displays a depth of understanding unrivalled by that of his colleagues at other leading venues. Interestingly, Nana man's preferences veer towards short time liaisons only: not for him the hassle and bother of lasting relationships.

4. Soi Zero Man

A sordid hive of squalor and iniquity off Sukhumwit Road, it is in the darkest and deepest recesses of this unpleasant soi that Soi Zero man is to be found. Always an expat and always a loner, Soi Zero man is a truly disgusting creature. Badly dressed, disshevelled, and displaying a pitiful look of world weariness and resignation, he is anti-social in the extreme and all too often a victim of appalling body odour. Be warned: on no account whatsoever should one attempt to approach and converse with Soi Zero man.

As for Patpong man and Pattaya man, I'll leave that to you.

5... Too much time on his hands man

This man has got nothing better to do than to post useless topics on Internet Forums

You forget something LUMPINI MAN ,That"s something between Washington man en soi zero man( ongly with a lower budget )

Starting nightlife in the day I probably go through all stages.

Prefer Soi Cowboy though

aye.. Cowboy is the way ahead for deffo imo, people seem to be much more outgoing down there than any of the other whorehouse zones in bangkok..

What about asoke plaza man? Some of the wierdos Ive seen down there are = if not worse than some of the specimins u get in nana carpark come 2am

What about 'Entirely normal man who is neither a fat slob, nor a druggie, nor a drop-out'

Amazingly, there seem to be quite a few of these species in LoS. They are often spotted helping their Thai wife/GF with the shopping at Tesco Lotus, or perhaps playing with their kids at the beach.

But then, maybe these types of guys are just a little too boring for this forum

What about 'Entirely normal man who is neither a fat slob, nor a druggie, nor a drop-out'

Amazingly, there seem to be quite a few of these species in LoS. They are often spotted helping their Thai wife/GF with the shopping at Tesco Lotus, or perhaps playing with their kids at the beach.

But then, maybe these types of guys are just a little too boring for this forum 

Maybe 'Washington Square Man', 'Soi Cowboy Man', 'Nana Man', and 'Soi Zero Man' are all aspiring to be 'Entirely normal man' but got distracted somewhere along the way...

Let me print this out and keep it in my wallet as a reference for the next time I plan a night out with my girl friends.

Would you find Java Man at Starbucks?

what about my friendly neighborhood spiderman? he's very elusive.

Amazingly, there seem to be quite a few of these species in LoS. They are often spotted helping their Thai wife/GF with the shopping at Tesco Lotus, or perhaps playing with their kids at the beach.

Correct; upon completion of which they head off to Cowboy, Nana etc. Or jump off a balcony thinking they're spiderman

I've never been to Soi Zero and I have never seen it.

Where is it... In Narnia or some other mythical place?

Anyway, where was 'Gentle Scamp Man' on your poxy list?

I've never been to Soi Zero and I have never seen it.

Where is it... In Narnia or some other mythical place?

Under the bridge; leftside before you enter ploenchit when you come from Sukhumvit.

Anyway, where was 'Gentle Scamp Man' on your poxy list?

Probably somewhere in between Kao San & Soi zero; didn't like to be a Hard Rockman though.

I've never been to Soi Zero and I have never seen it.

Where is it...  In Narnia or some other mythical place?

Anyway, where was 'Gentle Scamp Man' on your poxy list?

Under the tollway, actually, on the side of Sukhumvit Road opposite to the north-going tollway entrance. Soi Zero is a dump. My ex-girlfriend owned 50% of a bar there. That was, is, still a dump. We all make mistakes....

Amazingly, there seem to be quite a few of these species in LoS. They are often spotted helping their Thai wife/GF with the shopping at Tesco Lotus, or perhaps playing with their kids at the beach.

Correct; upon completion of which they head off to Cowboy, Nana etc. Or jump off a balcony thinking they're spiderman

Quite possibly very true!

We mustn't forget Beachacus Touristicus Man, commonly found around Phuket and Samui.

Easily observed in his naturally habitat of cheap beer gardens and generally slowing down beach foot traffic by attempting impromptu soccer games.

Not to be confused with the Lesser BT, identifiable by a profusion of cheap vendor necklaces and cut-off cargo pants, which he still manages to go thru every pocket before finding the one with any money.

To attract said animals, simple increase the volume of some Techno Tribal or Trance, use caution as BT man is easily excited.

They're also quite nocturnal, forget about sleep once they've moved in.

We mustn't forget Beachacus Touristicus Man, commonly found around Phuket and Samui.

Easily observed in his naturally habitat of cheap beer gardens and generally slowing down beach foot traffic by attempting  impromptu soccer games.

Not to be confused with the Lesser BT, identifiable by a profusion of cheap vendor necklaces and cut-off cargo pants, which he still manages to go thru every pocket before finding the one with any money.

To attract said animals, simple increase the volume of some Techno Tribal or Trance, use caution as BT man is easily excited.

They're also quite nocturnal, forget about sleep once they've moved in. 

Ah yes, Beachacus Touristicus Man, know him well

Then we have Pattayacus Barbeericus man.(aka "<deleted>")

Aged, fat, and balding, Pattayacus Barbeeracus spends 16-20 hours per day hunched over a bar stool. Highly social and rarely seen alone, this species can sometimes be found flattened on the pavement after jumping out of high rise buildings.

scamp, i think you will find "gentle scamp man " is also known as " too much time on his hands man " with nothing better to do than post useless topics on internet forums

We also have "F***ing Noisy Big Bike Easy Rider" man. What on earth does he think he looks like? Also known as "Total Prat man".

Aged, fat, and balding, Pattayacus Barbeeracus spends 16-20 hours per day hunched over a bar stool. Highly social and rarely seen alone, this species can sometimes be found flattened on the pavement after jumping out of high rise buildings.

To be correct this is actually the sub-species Patyayacus barbeerius lemmingensis noted for it's suicidal attempts at flight. The flight behaviour is usually the result of being spurned during mating.