Baby Is Gone

[jayjayjayjay]

My wife took our 2 week old baby and left.

PUT a picture in your profile "as I have", basically I dont trust someone I cant see.

[a2396]

Asians don't usually admit they have or or seek help for mental problems, unless they are stark, raving, foaming at the mouth lunatics. I don't know know what sort of help is available, even if you could drag her to them. I'm not big on having babies, but yours is a "done deal" already.

[jts-khorat]

Excuse me, while I used the wrong terminology, it's still illegal to remove a child (EVEN YOUR OWN) out of a country without joint parental approval (which the OP doesn't seem to have nor does he appear interested in obtaining). Anyway, it's not kidnapping, but child abduction and the punishment is up to 7 years imprisonment.

International Child Law:

http://books.google.com/books?id=XFhVLMbHl...3dUQVNLyG9V-n-s

"internationa" -- there you go, that is the key word.

I was in the same situation, my wife took my son and simply moved with him to Malaysia to her new boyfriend. As we were not married, the police said I am on my own, even though my son has a German passport and I am obviously on the birth certificate.

Advice was, to contact maybe German authorities and do 'my thing' from there.

So much for the legal angle of 'child abduction' her ein Thailand; the mother has all the rights as long as you are not married.

[TheEmperorOfTheNorth]

As hard as it maybe for you, leave her alone give her the space and time she needs to adjust to her new life changing event. Get a message to her tell her you love her and that you'll be there for her when she wants/is ready. Go and buy her some baby stuff and anything else she might need and some cash as well, this lets her know you care...but don't hassel her. It's the only thing to do from my own experience of my wife when she had P.N.D.

That's a very Western attitude. I agree of course in principle to be supportive, but in Thailand, you SHOULD hassle. Not in a threatening way, but if you do it the cool Western way with a note or something then this is NOT sending the same message of "YES, I GIVE A FUC_K" as showing up in person. It's your baby after all, not some silly legal or contractual settlement with a customer!! You're allowed some emotion of your own.

The emotion shown IS the communication. Women who our out to lunch don't listen to reason, but a show of emotion typically does get through. Reset your communications to a more basic level.

Edited November 9, 2007 by TheEmperorOfTheNorth

[blizzard]

what basic level communications? u peeple r complex.

[thomo]

saying that it is all my fault, I don't take care of her, I have a girlfriend,

Just out of interest, did she have gripes like these BEFORE ye got married or did it only start afterwards?

[blizzard]

thomo u not supposed ask?s like that. the aNSWER MAY BE INCRIMINATING.

just a thought, maybe the baby isnt yours. you know the thai ladies.

[thomo]

'You don't take care of me'

A great Thai line.

Being taken care of the core of a TG's attachment to a farang. NEVER.

Dude, get a message to her saying you're sending on 10,000 Baht to make sure she's ok and see how fast she gets in contact.

Just a shame there's a baby involved.

[Travel2003]

thomo u not supposed ask?s like that. the aNSWER MAY BE INCRIMINATING.

just a thought, maybe the baby isnt yours. you know the thai ladies.

...........you know the thai ladies................

I thought I did.

At least some.

Please enlighten us.

[mark henry]

As hard as it maybe for you, leave her alone give her the space and time she needs to adjust to her new life changing event. Get a message to her tell her you love her and that you'll be there for her when she wants/is ready. Go and buy her some baby stuff and anything else she might need and some cash as well, this lets her know you care...but don't hassel her. It's the only thing to do from my own experience of my wife when she had P.N.D.

That's a very Western attitude. I agree of course in principle to be supportive, but in Thailand, you SHOULD hassle. Not in a threatening way, but if you do it the cool Western way with a note or something then this is NOT sending the same message of "YES, I GIVE A FUC_K" as showing up in person. It's your baby after all, not some silly legal or contractual settlement with a customer!! You're allowed some emotion of your own.

The emotion shown IS the communication. Women who our out to lunch don't listen to reason, but a show of emotion typically does get through. Reset your communications to a more basic level.

I see what your saying and maybe your right. However, although my approach maybe a Western one i have found with my Wife it works (usually!) as the alternative of "forcing" the issue, any issue only causing her a "loss of face" and a subsequent angrier and more defensive response. As others have said Thai's are on the whole very emotionally immature!

[thomo]

I thought I did.

At least some.

Please enlighten us.

Nah, I was only messing about due to boredom. I'd listen to the blokes who actually have experience of this kinda thing.

[blizzard]

so....... farangs like emotionally immaure chicks. y is that?

[Mai Krap]

The quality of this forum is truly going down hill. Some of the posts made on this matter are truly horrible. Who knows if the story is true or not true? Not me, but this kind of thing happens often in LOS. Many people will be reading this including some who do not post but only read who may need some helpful ideas on how to resolve such issues. Hats off to the people who provided helpful posts.

Showing up with presents is always a good idea. Temporarily moving to the village with her family is another balancing move. The most important thing is no matter how worried or angry you are, keep your game face on, pretend everything is normal and business as usual. As long as the kid is in good health and being properly cared for at the parents I would give the situation plenty of time to fix itself, 6 months down the line everything could be back to normal.

If things go horribly wrong, get your kid a passport and get on a plane. If the family proves to be horrible, money is the only fix, no money, no fix.

[blizzard]

money is the only fix for horriblr family. you call that good quality advice.................lol.

only thing for bad family is , run forrest run, and dont leave forwarding address.

Edited November 9, 2007 by blizzard

[WaiWai]

News ?

[Dustoff]

Too many strange things about this that keep me from taking it seriously.

The OP asking for advice on a public forum for one, not participating in more discussion or offering more information for another makes this feels like a troll.

If not, I would suggest that the OP head to the nearest pharmacy, buy several boxes of tranquilizers and take double the recommended dose himself until he becomes semi-ratiional.

Wife recently went to her own family's home with their 2-week old daughter and he is already involved with police and lawyers, contemplating child abduction and condemning her as a mentally unfit mother? Daddy dearest, eh?

Could be just me I suppose but I am getting a picture of why this mother felt a need to escape from this frantic individual for the sake of her already stressed sanity...

[blizzard]

it aint just you.

i tink this is nuttin but for entertainment purposes only. UNLESSS OP WANTS TO CUM CLEAN

[jayjayjayjay]

it aint just you.

i tink this is nuttin but for entertainment purposes only. UNLESSS OP WANTS TO CUM CLEAN

No questions the OP is a TROLL (he's done well, 78 responses and more to come)

Edited November 12, 2007 by jayjayjayjay

[dkstoney]

Anytime one parent takes a child out of the joint custody of another parent it is considered kidnapping. You could have these charges brought against her. She has your child at another location and refuses to make or accept contact without consideration of your desire, need, and right to know about the welfare of your child.

You can wait. You can file charges with the assistance of a lawyer. I'd choose the stiffer approach in an effort to absolutely not reward that type of behavior. I'd do it to let her know that she will not nor will she ever get away with those actions. If all is as you've described then you owe it to yourself and your child to undo her selfish actions.

[moni76]

[ Hi i read your story and i was sadened by it.I really feel for you but also your wife as i have suffered postnatal depression after i had my children.i have 4, and you are not in a good state of mind.Its an imbalance in the brain and a women cannot control it.She really needs help as i realised and got it.had of i not, well i dont like to imagine.i have a good husband im lucky.u too sound like you are very worried. let me know how you go please??? and if you need to takl you know where i am

love

moni76

[bkkperson]

This is yet another typical TV rant...i haven't read one post where anyone has actually felt sorry for his position...

OP as a guy who's wife is pregnant and going through a similar thing(permanetley cobby) i can sympathise with you,,try not to be so rash though im sure it will all cool down you just need to be patient...

As far as just taking the baby back to USA i woul not recommend that at all you could gt in a whole heap of doo dah for just taking the baby without having full custody rights..and to be honest why would you want to do that???Just because the girl has PMT you think that it would be okay to just take the baby to another country never to be seen again..ver nice n fair..i also suggest you do a bit of research into PMT then maybe you will understand a bit better what PMT is..

Good luck

[bkkperson]

apart from the one above me

[SadDad]

If you did cheat on her then she's called you on it and the "som nam na" comment is appropriate. If not, you can try to enlist family support, but do not expect much.

If your name is on the birth certificate as father, then you have equal rights to the child. Exercising them is the nightmare.

I have personally confirmed the following with Thai law enforcement...

Parental Kidnapping is not a crime in Thailand and Thai authorities will not issue a warrant or become involved should one parent take a child without the other parent's authorization.

http://travel.state.gov/family/abduction/c...ountry_528.html

[Bluelotus]

Once again TV members show their uncanny ability to miss the point , I know this family personally , the wife is back , she has been diagnosed as depressed complicated with delusional paranoia at the Chiang Mai Psyche hospital and is now on medication and much better . However , for all you brainiacs when she returned from up country the child had been attacked by a dog and at 5 weeks old had a broken arm and is scarred on her face ,still a beautiful happy child though. No doubt about who the father is she looks just like Dad . The wife had not pursued treatment for the broken arm and was in fact in denial that there was anything wrong with it , luckily the wife's best friend is a neo natal nurse and had the father take the baby for xrays and then to the best medical care available but let me tell you it really sad to see a 5 week old baby with a cast on her arm. The police and doctors have apologized for minimizing the situation and Thai social services have begun counseling the Mother and Father but the mother has agreed and signed documents attesting that she will not remove the Child again. If she does the police and father can reclaim custody.

To all the pundants screaming troll and blaming the Dad you had this one 100% wrong he is a great father and husband and things are getting better for them . Some people need help and you @ssHoles just hurt his feelings even more .

[blizzard]

people he dont know hurt his feelings! r u freakin serious!

[Bluelotus]

Different people have different degrees of emotional sensitivity and to believe that because I don't know you you can't hurt me emotionally is socially an unrealistic stance. Also a bit sociopathic

Edited February 6, 2008 by Bluelotus

[brahmburgers]

Once again TV members show their uncanny ability to miss the point , I know this family personally , the wife is back , she has been diagnosed as depressed complicated with delusional paranoia at the Chiang Mai Psyche hospital and is now on medication and much better . However , for all you brainiacs when she returned from up country the child had been attacked by a dog and at 5 weeks old had a broken arm and is scarred on her face ,still a beautiful happy child though. No doubt about who the father is she looks just like Dad . The wife had not pursued treatment for the broken arm and was in fact in denial that there was anything wrong with it , luckily the wife's best friend is a neo natal nurse and had the father take the baby for xrays and then to the best medical care available but let me tell you it really sad to see a 5 week old baby with a cast on her arm. The police and doctors have apologized for minimizing the situation and Thai social services have begun counseling the Mother and Father but the mother has agreed and signed documents attesting that she will not remove the Child again. If she does the police and father can reclaim custody.

To all the pundants screaming troll and blaming the Dad you had this one 100% wrong he is a great father and husband and things are getting better for them . Some people need help and you @ssHoles just hurt his feelings even more .

we get an update - at the same time a chastisement?!

How about updates - from the OP or those 'in the know' - and then, if we're still imbaciles, you can chastize us.

Very sad about the child. I wouldn't be surprised if such dog attacks happen often. Just on my little soi with 6 houses, there are a dozen very mean dogs. Half the residents here are farang with peaceful dogs. the others are Thai with viscious dogs - go figure. I actually go and discipline my Thai neighbors' dogs - and it works to some degree - though it's a stone drag when every month or so they get some new pup - and the pup invariably gets taught by the older dogs how to be viscious.

If I had a child in Thailand - I would constantly be on guard against viscous dogs. Is there spray mace in Thailand? I've never seen it for sale. What can be done to get Thais to learn to discipline their dogs - and take responsibility for pets?

Is there a Thai word for responsibility?

[Bluelotus]

I just contacted the OP and told him I put an update on his post , I'd never read it until today.

Maybe he will update you personally

[Heng]

New mothers should be given lots of help, if not by the father, by relatives, or if possible a trained nanny (most private hospitals can recommend them to you).

[blizzard]

i pray no one is going to have to seek counseling after being called an $zzhole by mr lotus! very rude of you sir!

Edited February 6, 2008 by blizzard