What Would You Do If..

[OxfordWill]

Well my dear wise old forum friends and enemies, I come humbly seeking the benefit of your experience and wisdom gained from having lived longer (in some cases considerably longer..) than I on this green earth.

Having wrapped up my studies and affairs in the UK I now find myself in south east asia. I am not tied down to having to live in any one place since my job lets me work from wherever. My income is fairly secure. Given these facts, if you were in this situation, what would YOU have done? Maybe you were in this situation and what did you do (what did you wish you had done?).

I am absolutely sure at this point I do not want to return to the West. Should I try living in other countries in Asia? Should I get married soon (its an option with this nice indonesian girl- im heading over there soon!)?

My father is a bit rubbish at advice.. c'mon, help a boy out. Give me some pearls of wisdom. I dont want to just get to 30 (five years time) and be in the same position but a little bit more wealthy. That would be.. I dunno, I would feel I missed something spending 5 years partying in Bangkok.

[sbk]

Travel. See the rest of the world, there is alot more out there than Thailand and if you have the means and the opportunity, then go see it.

[OxfordWill]

Thanks SBK. The only problem is internet access on the road. I have found a satellite dish option, its a bit bulky to carry around but.. yea. I need to travel more, but I dont have the same wanderlust I had 5 years ago, not sure why. I might rekindle it if I tried!

[PhilHarries]

Having wrapped up my studies and affairs in the UK I now find myself in south east asia. I am not tied down to having to live in any one place since my job lets me work from wherever. My income is fairly secure. Given these facts, if you were in this situation, what would YOU have done? Maybe you were in this situation and what did you do (what did you wish you had done?).

Okay you are 25, just finished college and started work earning a steady secure income. A nice start to life . But do you have any funds invested or savings to fall back on? Even the most secure jobs can, and often do, go belly up. In that scenario what are your options? Given that finding work in most foriegn countries is difficult to impossible you need a fallback position which is most likely return to your home country and start again and you need funds to cover that as a minimum. What do you have in terms of medical insurance? At 25 you should be reasonably fit and well but accidents and illnesses strike without respect for age nor youth.

This may all sound the sort of boring stuff middle aged people think about but that's why they got to be middle aged. South east Asia is a wonderful place if you have work and money. Without those it can quickly become hel_l on Earth and a forum search will turn up threads about expats who have lost the plot and are scratching out an existance begging on the streets.

I'll not answer your question regarding what I would have done or wish I had done as I see no point in looking back in regret. Life is a series of forks in the road, you make your choice left or right and press on. There's no rewind button, you live with the decisions you make good and bad and get on with life.

I am absolutely sure at this point I do not want to return to the West. Should I try living in other countries in Asia? Should I get married soon (its an option with this nice indonesian girl- im heading over there soon!)?

I'll not try and advise you on the marriage bit only you can answer that question.

Should you try living in other Asian countries? Absolutely, no doubt about that, a resounding YES. But why limit yourself to Asia? Central and South America are great places and the Aussies and Kiwis will sing the praises of their respective homes. In fact at your age, provided you can earn money from anywhere with internet there are virtually no limits.

As for never returning to the west we have a saying in the contracting game "never say never" and always remember your home country is the one place on Earth you can go without visa or work permit hassles.

My father is a bit rubbish at advice.. c'mon, help a boy out. Give me some pearls of wisdom. I dont want to just get to 30 (five years time) and be in the same position but a little bit more wealthy. That would be.. I dunno, I would feel I missed something spending 5 years partying in Bangkok.

Whatever you do you'll end up at 30 wishing you'd done it different or done more. That is inevitable and something we have to live with.

[hanibal7]

At 25 if you cant make your own mind up,then i would go back home to mummy.

[ChangMaiSausage]

Pick-up the best looking girls you can find and take them all to your room (together) I always wish I had done that when I was 25

Seriously do what most 25'ish people do enjoy yourself, get drunk your life will take it's own course

[PhilHarries]

Seriously do what most 25'ish people do enjoy yourself, get drunk your life will take it's own course

Doing what comes naturally to most 25 y.o.'s in their home country is not necessarily the best thing to do when in a foriegn one. In your home country being p1ssed up and staggering along the road is quite likely to illicit some help from your fellow countrymen or even the police. Do the same where you are Johnny Foriegner and the only help you are likely to receive is folks helping themselves to your wallet, mobile phone etc and in some places the police are worse than the crooks.

[sbk]

At 25 if you cant make your own mind up,then i would go back home to mummy.

What a ridiculously inflammatory and unnecessary comment.

Lots of people find themselves at a crossroads at 25 and it is the foolish person who doesn't investigate all options.

[Macx]

SEA, it's a fantastic place to burn up a decade. Happens to lots of young guys.

Just beware of it ahead of time. Wisdom often comes after experience and usually later than needed.

[Naam]

At 25 if you cant make your own mind up,then i would go back home to mummy.

What a ridiculously inflammatory and unnecessary comment.

Lots of people find themselves at a crossroads at 25 and it is the foolish person who doesn't investigate all options.

i agree. that's why i refrain to comment on the question

quote: "Should I try living in other countries in Asia? Should I get married soon (its an option with this nice indonesian girl- im heading over there soon!)?"

of a 25 year old

[OxfordWill]

Thanks for all replies. Sorry for the necessarily narcissitic nature of this thread. Nice of anyone to reply, even if not to say anything. Don't be worried, Im not going to follow your advice just because I read it. Won't hold you responsible for my decisions..!

The marriage question on the face of it sounds ridiculous- how could anyone advise me. But I suppose it came out of seeing how many young guys in this part of the world do end up with kids well before 30, and in Indo, a lot of guys have them by 25. Anyway.

Macx- this is my fear. I've been coming here half the year each year since 2003. Yes my "career" is going forward, but I feel at a crossroads like SBK said. And I'm getting pressure to marry this girl. Part of me thinks "why not". She's well off, it wouldnt hurt my finances (much). I've been drinking and 'acting my age' for years already, it gets boring. When do you know its time to make a change? How innocent I sound. Plus I've noticed I am drinking more and more.. filling my free time with dangerous activities out of boredom, slippery slope.. blah blah. Other than my job I have no responsibilities, so its easy to just.. drift..

C'mon Naam, you drop wisdom oysters all over other threads, what scares you off this one? I'm not particularly unique, Im sure you know other 25 yo males holding down steady work. Plenty!

PhilHarries- thanks. I was putting away a sum of money each month out of my income starting only 7 months ago. up to that point I had been spending my remaining monthly income (after bills etc) pretty much as it came in. Now, getting back to Thailand, I burnt through a lot in the last two months, bringing those "savings" down quite a bit. So I will try to start that again and keep to it. I have medical insurance for the next 10 months, after that, I will have to renew / reconsider. My parents are the typical middle class in debt up to their eyeballs but living a nice life type. So their financial wisdom isnt so great, and I haven't got the know-how myself about how to handle money. I was doing fine earning 1/5th of what I earn now previously, but even though I know earn considerably more, I have nothing to show for it. I don't really know why (yes I do- drink, women), it a source of regret already. Hope I can change that.

Well, thanks

[Ciaphas]

One thing I did at 25 which I haven't regretted is starting a stakeholder pension in england. I know being 25 the future feels along way off but starting early will be of greater benefit later. And with the way england is going by the time you come to retirement age there will be no state pension.

[Naam]

C'mon Naam, you drop wisdom oysters all over other threads, what scares you off this one? I'm not particularly unique, Im sure you know other 25 yo males holding down steady work. Plenty!

i don't know any other 25 year old male who might ask "should i get married to this nice indonesian girl?" however i have a friend who is 10 years younger than me who asked me six years ago "should i get married to this indonesian Lady?" and i told him "GO FOR IT!" now he is happily married, has three beautiful children and will soon leave Switzerland as soon as his house on Bali is finished. i gave my advice because my wife and me met this particular nice indonesian Lady several times, talked to her and were therefore able to form an opinion.

edited for addendum:

my apologies for being an @sshole. i just can't help it being one.

Edited April 24, 2008 by Naam

[wileycoyote]

Stay in South-East Asia !

Wiley Coyote

[britmaveric]

If you are earning good wage and can work anywhere. Travel and do so happily.

[aries27]

when you really look at it, 25 is a quarter of a CENTURY...

yes, that's old. can't afford to make any mistake. wise decision to ask for opinions here....

[sbk]

when you really look at it, 25 is a quarter of a CENTURY...

yes, that's old. can't afford to make any mistake. wise decision to ask for opinions here....

Reminds me of when I turned 35, complained to my husband that I was getting older as it was halfway to 40 and he smiled and said, "No honey, its halfway to 70"

[donna]

At 25 if you cant make your own mind up,then i would go back home to mummy.

gosh, im 43 and still dont know what i want to do when i grow up!

[ChangMaiSausage]

Seriously do what most 25'ish people do enjoy yourself, get drunk your life will take it's own course

Doing what comes naturally to most 25 y.o.'s in their home country is not necessarily the best thing to do when in a foriegn one. In your home country being p1ssed up and staggering along the road is quite likely to illicit some help from your fellow countrymen or even the police. Do the same where you are Johnny Foriegner and the only help you are likely to receive is folks helping themselves to your wallet, mobile phone etc and in some places the police are worse than the crooks.

Getting drunk to me does not mean getting completly wasted i.e. incapable of walking in a straight line, maybe I should have just said enjoy yourself. Though I do understand it's not the best thing to do in a strange country maybe someone could inform all (most) of the tourists on vacation in Thailand, most of them are drunk and enjoying themselves.

[craigt3365]

Not sure what type of work you are in, but I sure wish I had moved to Japan when I was 25...as I initially planned. I would like to live there now, but being retired and with limited funds...and higher expectations on where to live and a Thai wife....this option is going to be tough.

I got married when I was 30. You are still young. Once you get married, you are tied down...especially if you have kids. Now if that is what you really want, then go for it! If there is even a little bit of doubt, I would wait.

Challenge yourself...enhance yourself...easier to do now than when you are 50...and easier to do when you are single than when you are married with kids...

[ilyushin]

If you stay, I suggest you get busy now for short and long term planning. Really dig deep down and make a model of what you want and how to get it.

SEA is not for all and all are not in SEA.

Wish you luck. Strength and honor!

[RAZZELL]

I was doing fine earning 1/5th of what I earn now previously, but even though I know earn considerably more, I have nothing to show for it. I don't really know why (yes I do- drink, women), it a source of regret already. Hope I can change that.

Well, thanks

I'd look at where you want to be in 5/10/15 years time.

In my mid to late 20's, I finished my Masters at University, travelled, got drunk etc etc.

However, when I started in my "career", I was maybe 8 years "behind" guys who'd started at 21/22.

I could have been a lot more successful (i.e. have more money and material possessions) at this moment in time if I hadn't f_cked about all those (very enjoyable) years.

Of course it was fun, but in hindsight I should have been a bit more disciplined at an earlier age. Maybe at 25 you're starting to grow-up

Maybe I would look to buying a property in the UK as a "base" to come back to. Although now might not exactly be the best time

Just remember as my Dad say's to me:

"The young men of today, are the old men of tomorrow"

RAZZ

[docall18]

Hey there, am only 27, not much older than yourself. But here are my thoughts.

I would definately put marrige off till your much older. Your a young english bloke in SEA, you will never have a shortage of ladies. Unless you want to spend thre rest of your life tied to one woman and having kids - crazy. For one its very expensive, and one woman and screaming kids - dont do it to yourself!

Also personally i would get out of Bangkok but stay in thailand, my preference is Pattaya. And yes go get drunk and have plenty of girls, but try and save some money to invest. Property is IMO the best and easiest invertment. Anyone can do it and historic trends show that house prices always eventually increase, so buy low and sell high I have invested in property in eastern europe, and am seeing nearly 50% increase in value in 4 years.

By the way, what kind of work are you doing in Bangkok?

[OxfordWill]

Thank you all for the replies. Im now in Jakarta with the lady's family.. all being very welcoming and nice. "All her friends have babies already" said the mum to me, with a chuckle and raised eyebrows. !! Where is my return ticket!!!

I will look into stakeholder pensions (never heard of them) and other things like property. I thought of getting a mortgage for a small place back home before leaving but ultimately I was put off by the fact I would need to manage tenants to cover the interest and didnt do enough research into companies who can do this for you.

"By the way, what kind of work are you doing in Bangkok?"

I do internet stuff with servers and managing various projects for investors.

In 15 years time ideally I would like to only be working because I want to and not because I have to. Pipe dream eh!

[donna]

maybe not only a dream OxfordWill. without dreams we have nothing.

[adjan jb]

I would marry a nice girl and make three children.

[zaza]

At 25 if you cant make your own mind up,then i would go back home to mummy.

gosh, im 43 and still dont know what i want to do when i grow up!

I was about to post the exact same words; I Knew now why we are such good friends!

But replying the OP; please do live your life the way you want and wish so and do not go asking other people's about how to live your own life, everyone has different capabilities , circumstances and ambitious , so no one can know what is better for you only you.There is "NO size fits all rule" when it comes to your path in life.

Just feel the bliss of being in a position where you are free to choose. Cherish every moment you live while you are still young,healthy,successful in work and lucky in love. There are many ppl willing to trade 50 years of their lives to have one of those.

[lazeeboy]

have a good time and be careful,lot of years ahead for you

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

If I was 25 I would be to busy or tired to be on a forum looking to kill time.

[OxfordWill]

Well, I work on computers remember, so Im actually just looking to kill work time.