Misc Jokes

"Oh God," sighed the wife one morning, "I'm convinced my mind is almost completely gone!"

Her husband looked up from the newspaper and commented, "I'm not surprised. You've been giving me a piece of it every day for twenty years!"

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

A fellow is walking into a hospital and sees two doctors down on their hands and knees in one of the flower beds. He goes over and says, "Can I help? Have you lost something?"

"No," says one of the doctors. "We're about to do a heart transplant on a lawyer and we're looking for a suitable stone."

Tom was invited to his friend’s house for dinner. He found that his buddy called his wife every cute name in the book: Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, and Baby.

When she was in the kitchen, he leaned over to his friend and said, “I think it’s nice you still call your wife all those pet names.”

“To tell you the truth,” his friend said, “I forgot her name abut three years ago.”