The Grumpiest Ex-pat In Bangkok

[CarlBkk]

Next time im in Thailand Im going to sit on that seat and get a picture, nyone who tries to piss me off I will crush them like a bug

TheDon, no doubt he will still be on his routine then, but you'll have to be there exceptionally early (like get there before most guards in the building open the main doors). If he's already there he will have removed about 3 stools next to him (he doesn't seem to like people), so take a stool and place it next to him and sit down. If you want to provoke a reaction, that'll do it.

[TheDon]

Next time im in Thailand Im going to sit on that seat and get a picture, nyone who tries to piss me off I will crush them like a bug

TheDon, no doubt he will still be on his routine then, but you'll have to be there exceptionally early (like get there before most guards in the building open the main doors). If he's already there he will have removed about 3 stools next to him (he doesn't seem to like people), so take a stool and place it next to him and sit down. If you want to provoke a reaction, that'll do it.

I will sit next to him, if he starts looking pissed I will tell him he is sitting in my chair and he better move.

[himachal]

Next time im in Thailand Im going to sit on that seat and get a picture, nyone who tries to piss me off I will crush them like a bug

TheDon

I get the impression that your post (above) could be edited: if I removed all the letters except the last two, it would more succinctly express what you wanted to say.

[taxexile]

carlbkk

which implies I am obsessed with people's actions?

well , you have spent the best part of a week lurking around the emporium , mapping out little known entrances , noting the times that doors open , the times that guards show up , planning strategies that will deprive this customer of his "regular"place , obtaining and reporting on the content of phone calls between this customer and the staff , questioning the staff as to the movements of the customer , co-ordinating with other posters as to when to turn up , how to get there first , how to arrange the seating and posting regular updates on a website.

i could go on , but i dont want to appear obsessed with this topic.

[MrIrrisistable]

you already do

[Jimmy in Bangkok]

P.S. There's no need to leave a space each time between word and comma.

i have to , if i dont i have to wear my t-shirt inside out for half an hour.

Thanks Taxexile, that was pure gold mate.

Cheers

Jimmy

[CarlBkk]

carlbkk

which implies I am obsessed with people's actions?

well , you have spent the best part of a week lurking around the emporium , mapping out little known entrances , noting the times that doors open , the times that guards show up , planning strategies that will deprive this customer of his "regular"place , obtaining and reporting on the content of phone calls between this customer and the staff , questioning the staff as to the movements of the customer , co-ordinating with other posters as to when to turn up , how to get there first , how to arrange the seating and posting regular updates on a website.

i could go on , but i dont want to appear obsessed with this topic.

Well I've done my bit to provide info for other people who want to join in the fun, and yes I've spent most of the last week from 10-11am in Emporium. I have only found out that the security guards only let people in at 10am (the rest of the info was from others which I repeated), I conveyed Bino's idea to find a different way in, yes I have reported on conversations between the GOM and the staff and yes I have told people what the GOM does and asked if anyone is turning up.

However, I am now very bored of their breakfast menu and will soon only turn up on the odd day to take his space. It is fun while it's lasting.

Next obsession please!!

[MrIrrisistable]

Lets locate an ocd tg....at least one thats worthwhile following around all day.

[cluezo]

I'm not only ex-military but retired military (from the US Navy) and i take issue with that stereotypical statement. I've always treated foreign nationals with respect and dignity. Don't lump ex-military expats into one group, it shows ignorance and narrow-mindedness

Regards

I'm not only ex-military but a two-combat tour US Marine (Vietnam) I stand with my Navy friend. Even in Vietnam when the shit was flying, I never treated foreign nationals with disrespect [unless they were trying to kill me, of course]. The military is made up of asshol_e and regulars guys, just like society. Don't lump us into the same pile.

[MrIrrisistable]

Did you know that 'hoohah' has a different meaning in Oz ?

[keestha]

I admire the perseverence shown by both CarlBkk and the GOM. They should unite to fight for a cause which is worth it.

[CarlBkk]

I admire the perseverence shown by both CarlBkk and the GOM. They should unite to fight for a cause which is worth it.

Good idea. Get him talking to people first (it might help). How about OCD Sufferers WorldWide? IER? (Improving Expat Relationships), CBMB? (Campaign for Better Manners in Bangkok). These groups can encompass all nationalities so not to be racialist.

How about we both start up our own little Table Reservation Club for exclusives. I'll let him be CEO.

[MrIrrisistable]

Now thats just being childish

[Guest Bellini]

Emporium, Friday morning 10am, food floor, Oriental coffee/cake shop.

How much does it cost? I might try it when in Bangkok in December this year.

[jumnien]

Now thats just being childish

After 615 posts, it's a little late to accuse anyone of childishness!

[taxexile]

cluezo

a two-combat tour US Marine (Vietnam)

Even in Vietnam when the shit was flying, I never treated foreign nationals with disrespect

....... squirted them with napalm now and again , but disrespect .... never.

[Chopper]

Stop it tax! I just spat my coffee over the keyboard!

[cluezo]

The grumpiest ex-pat does not live in Bangkok. He lives in a rather large city about 2.5 hours east of BKK. I am ashamed to admit that he is a co-teacher. He's an ex-addict/boozer who has found the Lord Jesus and preaches the word with zeal. Yet he finds time to be the most surly, rude, arrogant <deleted> ahole I've ever known. He spends his time between classes waiting to berate and degrade the janitors for not bringing the ice water on time. He hates Thailand, yet lives in Thailand; he hates Asians yet is MARRIED to an Asian. This guy is unreal. We have a large school with many teachers. The Foreign Languages Dept has two bathrooms - one for women, one for men. Of course the women outnumber the men big time so they (the female teachers) use the men's bathroom out of necessity. They, of course, do so with considerable respect. One day last week I had to use the facilities myself. As I was about to lift the lid, I saw that it was soaked in yellow urine. I walked out, bumped into Mr. Grumpy and said, "somebody pissed all over the toilet seat!" He said with some pride, "yeah that was me." I said "why in the hel_l did you do that?" He said smugly, "to keep the f**cking c*nts out of there. That's the men's toilet!"

I simply walked away...

[Ulysses G.]

cluezo

a two-combat tour US Marine (Vietnam)

Even in Vietnam when the shit was flying, I never treated foreign nationals with disrespect

....... squirted them with napalm now and again , but disrespect .... never.

Kill or be killed. Thats what soldiers do.

[thecatman]

....... squirted them with napalm now and again , but disrespect .... never.

Well, I thought that was funny, only for it to be followed by:

As I was about to lift the lid, I saw that it was soaked in yellow urine. I walked out, bumped into Mr. Grumpy and said, "somebody pissed all over the toilet seat!" He said with some pride, "yeah that was me." I said "why in the hel_l did you do that?" He said smugly, "to keep the f**cking c*nts out of there. That's the men's toilet!"

[cluezo]

....... squirted them with napalm now and again , but disrespect .... never.

Don't know of any soldiers who "squirted" napalm - that shit came from jets - not grunts - and a lot of grunts died too from napalm. Look I'm NOT defending the US Govt and Johnson and Nixon - most of us despised them. But when you ain't got a choice - you gotta survive. I never volunteered for the Nam and at the same time I and many, many grunts had nothing but the utmost respect for the Vietnamese people AND soldiers. But I guess you'd have to have been there. What unit did you serve in?

[jumnien]

How big was your unit? Just curious...

[taxexile]

cluezo

What unit did you serve in?

thankfully i never served in any unit.

i'm not criticizing your service record and i know you had no choice , but the way you worded your post left your defences wide open for a quick counterattack.

[cluezo]

....... squirted them with napalm now and again , but disrespect .... never.

Well, I thought that was funny, only for it to be followed by:

As I was about to lift the lid, I saw that it was soaked in yellow urine. I walked out, bumped into Mr. Grumpy and said, "somebody pissed all over the toilet seat!" He said with some pride, "yeah that was me." I said "why in the hel_l did you do that?" He said smugly, "to keep the f**cking c*nts out of there. That's the men's toilet!"

Why is this so funny to you?

[cluezo]

How big was your unit? Just curious...

Depends on the mission. I was with the 3rd Marine Division - thousands of grunts but of course Vietnam wasn't WWII. We fought in Battalion strength, platoon, regiment, etc. Scariest was the 4-man night ambush squad. Four of us in the black jungle all night -insects, f**ucking ants! leeches, and the ever present danger of bushmasters (deadly snakes) not to mention the enemy itself. You have no idea how f**cking how terrifying that was for a bunch of 20 year old pimply faced kids from Kansas, California, Illinois, Florida, etc. You have no idea at all. We never asked for it. F**cking US Govt forced us. We were'nt gungho killers...just a bunch a boys scared to death every fuc_king minute...think about that... squatting in a mud hole full of god knows what in the pitch darkness ...waiting for whatever...

No picnic.

[taxexile]

please dont encourage them ( the vietnam vets) , or soon we'll all be up to our necks in muck and bullets as the washington square mob get into tearful reminiscence mode.

their military expertise could be better used to help flush out the object of this thread.

[wolf5370]

Saw Rambo 4 (John Rambo) last night - excellent movie. No little bullet holes, but horrifc injuries and bodies blow apart.

[cluezo]

please dont encourage them ( the vietnam vets) , or soon we'll all be up to our necks in muck and bullets as the washington square mob get into tearful reminiscence mode.

their military expertise could be better used to help flush out the object of this thread.

Profound. Brit?

[Mekk]

Hi

I've now read all the posts so far (almost 30 pages, who would have thought a simple post about a grumpy customer would generate so much text), and all I can say is I am totally amazed at the thinking (or lack of thinking) displayed here.

We are guests in Thailand and should act accordingly.

If one of our number does not follow this simple principle, it reflects badly on all of us, and it should be the duty of every right thinking farrang to put a stop to this. It really does make my blood boil when I see or hear ex-pats acting like they are gods, by demanding their way no matter what, refusing to learn even the most basic Thai, or being so tight they are beyond an embarrassment (I know somebody in Pattaya who organises his week around which bars are giving out free food and when).

The only reason I can think of for people to go to such lengths (creating obscure theory's and such like) to defend the GOM is because they recognise themselves in him. I originally suspected the GOM was a TV member, but soon realised there are lots of GOMs here.

Most badly behaved ex-pats need far more aggressive treatment than occasionally sitting in their seat of choice, but that is all that has been happening here, no lynch mob, no bullying, no actual contact for gods sake.

To the people having some fun with this character, good on you.

-Mekk

[damocletian]

How big was your unit? Just curious...

Depends on the mission. I was with the 3rd Marine Division - thousands of grunts but of course Vietnam wasn't WWII. We fought in Battalion strength, platoon, regiment, etc. Scariest was the 4-man night ambush squad. Four of us in the black jungle all night -insects, f**ucking ants! leeches, and the ever present danger of bushmasters (deadly snakes) not to mention the enemy itself. You have no idea how f**cking how terrifying that was for a bunch of 20 year old pimply faced kids from Kansas, California, Illinois, Florida, etc. You have no idea at all. We never asked for it. F**cking US Govt forced us. We were'nt gungho killers...just a bunch a boys scared to death every fuc_king minute...think about that... squatting in a mud hole full of god knows what in the pitch darkness ...waiting for whatever...

No picnic.

You've obviously never been to Bootle.