Finally there's a sub-forum for discussing all those seriously hard and vexing questions facing humanity.

Is a person (or animal) heavier or lighter after farting ?

One school of thought says: the expelled gas is made up of matter. All matter has mass and therefore weight so the answer is lighter.

Alternatively there is the "helium" effect to consider. The gas expelled is lighter than air so while within the body does it have a lifting effect reducing the mass determined by gravity ?

Any alternative theories ?

All I know is that after I let a real pearler rip, the air in the room is definately heavier.

I would guess lighter?

If you light-er a good one you definitely move faster.

great to see the intellectuals of Bedlam have risen to the challenge.

I'm perplexed by the question!

This topic stinks... but only because it has knocked the wind out of me. Very perplexing.

Finally there's a sub-forum for discussing all those seriously hard and vexing questions facing humanity.

Is a person (or animal) heavier or lighter after farting ?

One school of thought says: the expelled gas is made up of matter. All matter has mass and therefore weight so the answer is lighter.

Alternatively there is the "helium" effect to consider. The gas expelled is lighter than air so while within the body does it have a lifting effect reducing the mass determined by gravity ?

Any alternative theories ?

You have a nose for trouble Sibey.

Actually one of the cutest stories about flatulence involves my parents. My Mom and Dad were honeymooning at the Royal York Hotel in Toronto, Canada, back in 1942. They were cuddled up in bed the morning after the wedding when my Mom let go a tiny fart. She hoped my Dad wouldn't notice it. But my Dad threw off the covers of the bed and said in a loud voice, "The honeymoon is over. The bride farted in bed."

It became their mantra through 50-plus years of marriage.

Tiny fart? When I married my first wife she let one go in bed and I thought she was tearing up the sheets.

Dutch oven, anyone ?

There is a very simple answer to this, and it is completely dependant on location.

Mass and weight are two totally different things. Consider a balloon full of helium within a gravitational field i.e. on a piece of string tied to your fence, release the helium, you will have decreased the mass but increased the mass to weight ratio, effectively making it heavier or more susceptible to one of Newtons famous laws, do the same thing where there is no gravity, the overall mass would still be reduced, the mass to weight ration would still increase, but as there is no external force pulling on it, no change of state would be experienced.

Effectively, if you are on Terra-firma and you let go a 'good-un' you'll be heavier.

I wouldn't put a lighter near to my heavier farts....

There is a very simple answer to this, and it is completely dependant on location.

Mass and weight are two totally different things. Consider a balloon full of helium within a gravitational field i.e. on a piece of string tied to your fence, release the helium, you will have decreased the mass but increased the mass to weight ratio, effectively making it heavier or more susceptible to one of Newtons famous laws, do the same thing where there is no gravity, the overall mass would still be reduced, the mass to weight ration would still increase, but as there is no external force pulling on it, no change of state would be experienced.

Effectively, if you are on Terra-firma and you let go a 'good-un' you'll be heavier.

Naaaaaaah, ya still weigh the same.

The gas weighs nowte, it is just a displacing mass, not erdicating it, mass still weighs the same.

BTW, Pharts are like sneezes, ya sneeze and spray, spittum.

Ya phart and spray shittum

For just one brief, happy, smiley, jokey moment, I considered coming up with a jocular reply to that Pete ..... and then common sense took over and instead considered why should I waste my time trying to explain that all gas doesn't 'weigh nowte'

I can't stop farting today, funnily enough.

I feel light headed

Are you suggesting there is some kind of direct connection between your head and your arse kayo?

--------

Im grateful this topic is outside the box, otherwise could have been a tad congested.

(.....sorry ...havent had my morning coffee yet )

As I find most days to be quite hot, I'd say..........the more wind ......the better

This thread is an example why having a more serious side to Bedlam is such a great success. I am away now to eat curry for breakfast and I will spend the rest of the day standing on scales. The results will be submitted to that nice chap Hawkins before publication.

( by the way......if you follow through you are definitely lighter..........just proved that ).

^ ughh...i feel quite ill now.

urban legend

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him.

One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, she'll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this, so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Shortly after that they were married.

A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her that he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him.

Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had 3 extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he putt-putted. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek.

At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as his wife was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and away she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him.

He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and RRIIIPPPP !!! It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. He got another urge. This was a real blue ribbon winner, the windows shook, the dishes on the table rattled and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead.

While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, tooting and fanning each time with his napkin. When he heard the phone farewells he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in.

Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner table. After assuring her he had not peeked, she removed the blindfold and yelled, "SURPRISE!!!"

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

I couldn 't give a phart

^ Try eno or air-x

A good mathematician would work it out with a pencil !!!1

In space nobody hears you fart.

In answer to the question, it depends on the constitution of your farts.

What is fart gas made of?

Most of the air we swallow, especially the oxygen component, is absorbed into the body before the gas gets to the intestines. By the time the air reaches the large intestine, most of what is left is nitrogen. Chemical reactions between stomach acid and intestinal fluids may produce carbon dioxide, which is also a component of air and a product of bacterial action. Bacteria also produce hydrogen and methane.

But the relative proportions of these gases that emerge from our anal opening depend on several factors: what we ate, how much air we swallowed, what kinds of bacteria we have in our intestines, and how long we hold in the fart.

The longer a fart is held in, the larger the proportion of inert nitrogen it contains, because the other gases tend to be absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the intestine.

A nervous person who swallows a lot of air and who moves stuff through his digestive system rapidly may have a lot of oxygen in his farts because his body didn’t have time to absorb it.

According to Dr James L. A. Roth, the author of Gastroinestinal Gas (Ch. 17 in Gastroenterology, v. 4, 1976) most people (2/3 of adults) pass farts that contain no methane. If both parents are methane producers, their children have a 95% chance of being producers too. The reasonf for this is unknown, however all methane in farts comes from bacterial action and not from human cells.

So if you are a methane producer your farts are lighter than air and you will be heavier as the gas's lift has to be greater than it's weight (assuming we are not farting in a zero gravity location).

But if you are a non-producer the chances are that your fart is roughly the same density as air and thus your weight will remain unchanged.

But to debunk a theory:

What makes farts stink?

The odour of farts comes from small amounts of hydrogen sulphide gas and mercaptans in the mixture. These compounds contain sulphur. Nitrogen-rich compounds such a skatole and indole also add to the stench of farts. The more sulphur-rich your diet, the more sulfides and mercaptans will be produced by the bacteria in your guts, and the more your farts will stink. Foods such as cauliflower, eggs and meat are notorious for producing smelly farts, whereas beans produce large amounts of not particularly stinky farts.

So a diet of beans, although producing large volumes of fart gas, do not give rise to bad smells. However I will say that this does not live up to my recollections of student days and there is room for Bedlam's own Mythbusters to conduct some tests to confirm or otherwise this theory.

Source : http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

btw whilst typing out this piece I let rip to a real rip snorter much to the consternation of the young lady assitant working some 4 feet to my right. I guess it must be auto suggestion.

That Budweiser one gave me a very much needed laugh.

i guess it depends on if the farts are wet or not. if wet, then how much? maybe you older guys might be able to answer this one...

mai mee equal?

but i did choose lighter

i guess it depends on if the farts are wet or not. if wet, then how much? maybe you older guys might be able to answer this one...

Well if you follow through you will most certainly be lighter and if you follow through in light colour pants best you become scarcer.

By how much depends on the volume of the wet gas released, it's composition (see above) and it's relative humidity. The problem with wet farts is that during discharge, should their passage be impeded by clothing, the fibres will act like a coalescer pad removing moisture droplets from the gas stream thus ensuring a dry final product.

The down side of this is the ubiquitous "chocolate starfish" effect leading to intense embarrasment and much mirth amongst your drinking buddies.

Sage words from a man with obvious experience..................Respect.