thithi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGTOE3 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 ONLY WELL try this one I don't think I have sent you this YET.... IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPAN TS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATT ER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.' BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN.' bt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Diff to read give me more aspirine !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 thanksie for the bed time story BT ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 Old story and please next time do not Cap all letters. Request: I need some help from Thai speaking person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 who is Thai speaking here ? try Thai language forum lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 i speak thailish.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I speak Southern lang...is that Thai too ? Like : Bai Dee Mai ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmushr00m Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 #$%@!$&!!!!!! Cant believe wife got her tourist visa rejected!!!! After having multiple visas and having lived in canuckland too. <deleted>!!!!!!!!!!! They felt it suspicious that we havent applied for a PRV and thought wife would do a "Robbin Hood". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Sorry to hear about your wife's visa I've been there, applied for visa and turn down...but for visa here in EU...I always got what I expected Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGTOE3 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 thanksie for the bed time story BT ... Some people have NO sense of Humour as They worry about CAPS ????? Anyway Thithi to keep your mind of CAKE try these - true so I am informed - but others might think OLD.... BT UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) > > > > Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and > cheesemongers'? > > Contestant: Homosexuals. > > Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very > upset > with you. > > > > BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) > > > Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? > > Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.... > > Theakston: There's a clue in the title. > > Contestant: Leicester . > > > BBC NORFOLK > > Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World? > > Contestant: I don't know. > > White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between > your > > hand and your elbow? > > Contestant: Arm. > > White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...? > > Contestant: Strong. > > White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name? > > Contestant: Louis. > > White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the > song > What A Wonderful World? > > Contestant: Frank Sinatra? > > > > LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS ) > > > Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ? > > Contestant: France . > > Trelinski: France is another country. Try again. > > Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm. > > Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country > is the Parthenon? > > Contestant: Sorry, I don't know. > > Trelinski: Just guess a country then. > > Contestant: Paris . > > > > THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2) > > Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have > all > > written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or The > > Conservative Party? > > Contestant: The Conservative Party. > > > > BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON ) > > > DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds, what is the nationality of the Pope? > > Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish? > Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I did it! Today!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Lazy @ss...im skip the class today...also yesterday but it was reason why - my son has farewell at his Language school. Today ? LAZY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 My sister in law managed to speak and write Dutch in just 3 months. Shhe is clever, I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) I can do as your in law does before I came here even hehehe So i must be stupid cuz I cant read / write /speak Dutch...as a Dutch speaking. hahahahahaha The course is require by Gemeente they offered me a free course , free transportation (only 3 stations trip) and 1/6 cost of day care for my son :-) And its fast project ( for higher education people) that I have to finish within a year. Edited January 9, 2009 by thesunset75 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacup Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 The Chessgame has three phases: The first - when one hopes one has an advantage The second - when one "believes" one has an advantage, and The third - when one knows one is "going to lose" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Should I stay home or take my son for shopping ? Meet his friend and parents, drink ? Headache !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cashill Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 I can do as your in law does before I came here even heheheSo i must be stupid cuz I cant read / write /speak Dutch...as a Dutch speaking. hahahahahaha The course is require by Gemeente they offered me a free course , free transportation (only 3 stations trip) and 1/6 cost of day care for my son :-) And its fast project ( for higher education people) that I have to finish within a year. come over and i'll teach you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Oh great great grandma !! I had a dream about you last night. Fail off the bed...NIGHTMAIR ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 what? what? WHAT?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cashill Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 Dat zal je leren! . ------------ - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My finger smells soooooo bad. Where the hel_l was it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My finger smells soooooo bad. Where the hel_l was it? You were cutting your toenails. Ha ha ha, I told you before didn't I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 My finger smells soooooo bad. Where the hel_l was it? You were cutting your toenails. Ha ha ha, I told you before didn't I? They aren't THAT dirty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlexLah Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 In your nose then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 betta to be yours lah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BIGTOE3 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 betta to be yours lah Okat Thithi one for you ?? try this and tell us "honestly" how you got on. BT Greetings !!! AMAZINGLY ACCURATE Whatever you do, don't cheat! CHINESE HOROSCOPE : THE YEAR OF THE IRON DRAGON, WISHING YOU PROSPERITY AND GOOD FORTUNE IN THE CHINESE NEW YEAR FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS - DO NOT CHEAT OR IT WON'T WORK AND YOU WILL WISH YOU HADN`T. TAKE 3 MINUTES TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT. THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL NO CHEATING !!!! THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT. IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY 1st. Get PEN and PAPER 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th. SCROLL DOWN ONE LINE AT THE TIME DON`T READ AHEAD otherwise YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. 2. BESIDE the NUMBERS 1 & 2 , WRITE DOWN ANY NUMBER YOU WANT DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? 3. BESIDE the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT 4. WRITE ANYONES NAME (like FRIENDS or FAMILY...) next to 4, 5, & 6. DON`T CHEAT OR YOU`LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID 5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11 6. Finally, MAKE A WISH ARE YOU READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME 1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE YOU MUST TELL ABOUT THIS GAME is found in SPACE 2 2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE 3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in SPACE 7 4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in SPACE 4 5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL. 6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS THE YOUR LUCKY STAR 7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE PERSON IN NUMBER 3 8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE PERSON IN 7 9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT YOUR MIND 10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT LIFE 11.. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR LUCKY NUMBER SEND THIS TO A MINIMUM OF 10 PEOPLE WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS. IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE. IF YOU FAIL TO, IT WILL BECOME THE OPPOSITE STRANGE HOW IT SEEMS TO WORK. ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 12, 2009 Share Posted January 12, 2009 Ice is melthing ! 5 degrees today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thithi Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 bleghhh forwarded mail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesunset75 Posted January 13, 2009 Share Posted January 13, 2009 One female friend in BKK came online, she asked...hey can i c you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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