December 1, 200817 yr BANGKOK – Police say they are ready to reclaim the Bangkok International Airport with the help of Hollywood actor Bruce Willis, who is currently crawling inside Terminal 2's air conditioning system. Police say the 'Die Hard' star immediately ducked into a maintenance room and then climbed through a vent when he saw that the airport was being taken over on Wednesday. He is now in communication with Bangkok police via a walkie talkie he lifted from a PAD guard whom he strangled to death. Willis will likely draw specifically upon Die Hard 2: Die Harder for inspiration in overcoming the PAD and returning normalcy to Thailand. In that film, his character John McClane thwarted terrorists who had taken over Washingtong-Dulles International Airport. Sources say Willis has asked permission from police to use similar tactics, including igniting a fuel trail to blow up a plane with all the PAD leaders in it. "Bruce really can't believe he is in this situation again but he is eager to help," said police spokesman lieutenant Sombat Sreephathep. "We will see if he can infiltrate the PAD from inside the airport. On behalf of the entire Royal Bangkok Police force, I would like to say, 'Yippee-ki-yay, Bruce.'" After hearing that Willis was hiding inside Suvarnbhumi's air ducts, a cocky Sonthi Limthongkul said it would be impossible for one man to single-handedly wreck his plans. But as a precautionary measure, he has reportedly tied used tampons to the grates of all vents inside Terminal 2. I see dead people," he warned Willis.
December 1, 200817 yr Tell Brucie to watch out, because apparently someone else is trying to get Chuck Norris involved as well. What the hey, should invite Jean Claude, Arnie and Nicholas (Bangkok Dangerous, The Rock, Lord of War) Cage as well. I also hear Daniel Craig is a little bored at the moment. 007 could sashay in there, swoon a few ladies and beat all the bad guys just in time for cocktails at the Oriental. But it may be better to keep this operation "in house" so to speak, so I guess someone will have to give Tony Jaa a ring. Oh wait, he may be a PAD supporter ! If that's the case, he may kick the crap out of whoever calls him (I vote rainman should be given the task, just in case) !
December 1, 200817 yr I hear Wesley Snipes will also be joining them for the final assault on the airport
December 2, 200817 yr What about Angelina? Brad'll look after the kids Nah, she's a Tomb Raider, not an Airport Invader ! Besides, I think a lot of people might mistake her for a khatoey if they didn't know who she was before hand.
December 2, 200817 yr Oh OK. I know you are all waiting for me to volunteer to come home and clean up this mess. Fine, I'll do it. I didn't really want to, as it looked like there were some cute girls there, but if it will make you all happy, then I guess your happiness is what matters most. But it will have to wait until late February. I have other "committments" to take care of at the moment.
December 2, 200817 yr Like taking wonderful photos of smiley moon faces.... Actually, those were declassified spy photos we were using to try and triangulate Osama's cave. We figured he must be watching those same stars (as he doesn't apparently get HBO or any other movie channels in his cave). The hope was he would take pictures as well and send them to the BBC website. We could then compare them with other photos from around the world and try and pin him down. So far, we think we may have found him. Looks like he's working in a mini-mart in Toledo, Ohio. Either that or he's driving a cab in Toronto, Canada. Or possibly a Somalian travel agency. There was a rumour he was hiding in Pattaya but I quickly squashed that one (didn't want the B-2s suddenly flattening my apartment or dropping a laser-guided bomb on my motorcycle by mistake). Now we just have to wait for another significant astronomical event and we may be able to narrow down our search range even further ! Shouldn't take more than a couple years or so !
December 3, 200817 yr We had it here in Swissland, I thought it was airpanes coming to land BUT no. I actually called a friend with a camera and he took some piccies. Unfortuanly the moon is doing a sad face over here. But life goes on with - 3 in centigrade.
December 3, 200817 yr We had it here in Swissland, I thought it was airpanes coming to land BUT no.I actually called a friend with a camera and he took some piccies. Unfortuanly the moon is doing a sad face over here. But life goes on with - 3 in centigrade. OK Patsycat....Put down the catnip and step away from the hot chocolate....... You're in violation of posting under the influence, as clearly demonstrated by your "stars in the sky" post in the "Bruce Willis" Kicks Butt thread !! By the way. Has ANYONE noticed that right after I agreed to come back and settle the problem, the protest suddenly ended ? Was it just a strange coincidence, or the dreadful fear the protesters felt, knowing I was on the way ? I think the latter.
December 3, 200817 yr You've saved Thailand! Now go and do the same in Afghanistan. Difference is, there's NOTHING here to save !! The only reason I can see for the fighting here, is that they've got nothing else to do ! This place needs some go-go bars and other "entertainment" venues. Then maybe they wouldn't be so interested in killing everyone around them. Meanwhile, I have to draft an invoice to send to the government of Thailand, to pay for services rendered in ending the airport occupation. I think 10% of what Thai Air is planning on suing PAD for is fair compensation. In fact, I should send an invoice to Thai Air and a few other businesses (like King Power), and demand a (small) portion of their gross revenue as a one time fee for services rendered. I wouldn't want to be greedy or anything now, would I ?
December 4, 200817 yr You watch.......... Following the " If you can't beat em join em " mantra, the new administration in the States will appoint Bin Hiding to be the new Director of the FBI.
December 4, 200817 yr You watch..........Following the " If you can't beat em join em " mantra, the new administration in the States will appoint Bin Hiding to be the new Director of the FBI. I heard he was going to be appointed Transportation Secretary, with airport security being his first priority !
December 6, 200817 yr What a Wuss ! This is what happens when you try to get amateurs to do a professional's job! Bruce Willis Unable To Escape Suvarnbhumi Vent System BANGKOK – After vowing to retake the airport, liberate tens of thousands of foreign hostages and return Thailand to normalcy, Bruce Willis has been unable to even move beyond the vent system he entered last Friday. On the outer reaches of Terminal 2, a crowd has gathered this morning below a bald elderly American who is hanging on for his life from an air duct. The man is believed to be 53-year-old Bruce Willis. Police have allegedly been dispatched to the scene to help Willis down from the duct to the ground, a distance witnesses have estimated at “about four feet.” Having apparently over-estimated his own abilities, the Hollywood actor has unwittingly dealt a psychological blow to the silent majority in Thailand that had begun to believe Willis might save the day. Tourists at Suvarnbhumi appeared especially distraught and have given up any hope of returning for the Christmas holidays. “Way to go Bruce,” said one tourist sarcastically. “I hope you get down okay. Geronimo motherf*cker.” So fess up peoples. Who here is running the Not the Nation website (and pilfering TV topics) ? I have my suspicions..................................
December 7, 200817 yr “Way to go Bruce,” said one tourist sarcastically. “I hope you get down okay. Geronimo motherf*cker.” Purleees .... it was Yipee-kai-yay (Sp?)
December 8, 200817 yr My mate said it, so it must be true. PAD wer told the " Hoff" was coming to sort them out.....................Game over.e
December 8, 200817 yr Hate to rain on your parafe KD, but there are a few inconsistencies in your fable. 1. There is no Terminal 2 - only the one terminal so far, although there are plans in existence for a mirror-image terminal at the Bang Phlii end of the Swampy site (near to Thana City development) plus a cargo terminal between the two. I had a load of bets placed when building T1 that the remainder would never be built. Haven't been able to collect, yet. 2. No air-con ducting - it's all done by vertical cooling. If BW went crawling in the roof-space he'd find himslf trapped in layers of tensile membrane and acrylic sheets - very uncomfortable and he'd get NOWHERE - (as did John McCaine) 3. The protest was called off because I needed to get back to work - losing too much money sitting in Patters - so I split half a month's salary among the organisers and - as true Thai politicians - they took it, dispersed the rabble and gave a wai - saying "See you next year" - don't know if that was a friendly farewell or a threat to go back in time to stop me getting in for SongKhran. 4. It is now Hajj - so all the malcontents are busy stuffing their faces with free goat curry.
December 8, 200817 yr Hate to rain on your parafe KD, but there are a few inconsistencies in your fable. Not my fable ! Note the bottom 2 lines of my post. Some other TV member, probably a well-known long-timer, created that story ! I'm sure it wouldn't be anyone that has a "Not The Nation" quote in their signature line though....... (Although, I'm sure the protest was called off because word got out I was coming to clean house. Either that or it was just a very strange coincidence that the protest was called off right after I agreed to sort out that mess.)
December 9, 200817 yr 4. It is now Hajj - so all the malcontents are busy stuffing their faces with free goat curry. I never knew "Farangs" had their hajj season now as well !
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