Are Aussies Really So Bad?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

If you glow in the dark shed, watch out for the roving raggies

[tuky]

2 radioactive injections, maybe I'll glow in the dark on rtn

carefull udon, that leg could be seen as WMD, attach it to an RPG and you've got a dirty bomb.

[udon]

Ho ................. Ho .................. ho...............

[Jai Dee]

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S ACCIDENT REPORT

This is a Bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board. This is touted to be a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed>later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it

tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks. You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope.

Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body. Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the Barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

[Artisi]

at least 40 years since I heard this one - but still good for a laugh

[Crossy]

at least 40 years since I heard this one - but still good for a laugh

Did you see Mythbusters demonstrating this one?

A slightly modified barrel and crash test dummy, the result was hilarious (and yes, it did work as detailed).

[meelousee]

My trip 1975

It all started on the Gold Coast, beautiful place, and good beaches cold beer really lovely women. But I still had to see the jungles and swamps of Darwin my real destination. I rented in Darwin a fully equipped Land Rover stocked up will all you might need a truly professional job, but no fishing equipment was supplied nor a gun, oh well this ain’t Texas right?

When I got to Mandorah I visited another small shop that had a sign that said fishing supplies, I went in and ask about them the burly man behind the counter ask what was I after I told him just some fun and a few fish for the fire a day outing not much more, he smiled and disappeared behind a curtain door and came back with 4 sticks of dynamite 4 blasting caps and a length of fuse and slapped the on the counter and said “you know what your on about with these toys mate?” I said yea I did some of this in Nam, he chuckled and said go on; I’ll make the marks and he proceeded to measure the det-cord in minuets and told me just cut it at the second mark for each go you have the buggers ok? Ok I understand, he then says, there is enough here to have a couple goes is make sure you’re away off mate, I am unconsciously thinking two right?

Off I went on the north road our and found what looked like a good spot small creek running into a larger pond and a few wide ebbs of the main stream. Off load the boat and I am off!

I saw a few bait fish jumping right at a narrow spot near an ebb since I knew it was just a day thing and wanted to have just two goes at this, I wrapped 2 sticks set the cap and fuse did the light up and tossed it off the back of the boat, only up stream I did not realize the under current was so strong, I motored a way off and BOOM! 50 Water spout 20 feet off my bow, trees started to fall from the hole I made in the mud and washed out the bank, shitz mud, turtle guts, fish heads splattering all over me, well I got two good fish the rest were blow to smithereens! I wanted to go all the way to Charles Point but not like this I was a mess still.

I try to clean off the best I can I know better than to swim out here alone and the Crocks they have here are as dangerous as they come, so I clean the fish and start back, when I got back into Mandorah I see a sign; “Room For Rent” and a lady sweeping the porch, I get out and walk up to her and she says “G’day” and then takes two steps backwards and make a face; like the one when you step in some dog manure. I say I want the room she says “ya pong, you’ll be renting the cabin over there the mess you are” I say ok as long as it has hot water and a bed. “Sure does mate solar heated and a small stove too”. Thinking “I just want to be clean and get this putrid mud out of my underwear”, ok how much for the night? 50 she says, but pay me tomorrow, now rack off” and tosses me the key.

In the back of the cabin I spy a water hose and bucket next to the BBQ pit, WOW my two best friends right now. While I am hosing off getting the mud our of all the cracks I see this beautiful blond with enormous boobs getting out of an rusted out pickup truck and heading into the only bar in town, as far I as I can see anyways. I hurry to fire up he BBQ pit and toss the fish on, inside the cabin was just what you would see in a movie complete with wild bore on the wall hand made jute carpet pot belly stove and a huge lion foot bath tub, I think “great home at last!!”. I toss on a sarong and go back outside with a bar of soap and continue to hose off while turning the fish, I later found out these were called golden perch and real big ones at that enough for 4 people! Fish done all I need is a cold beer, but I think hey I wont have to use dynamite on the woman I can use food. I find some foil wrap the fish put them back on the BBQ away from the fire, so I put on my best wranglers, cowboy boots and “can tell its been packed” starched cowboy shirt, grab the fish and head off to the pub.

Lucky me only 3 men at the bar and she’s at the far end alone with three stools on each side of her. I park with only one stool between myself and her. The bartender looks like Crocodile Dundee not kidding and he has this stainless steel horse shoe nail hanging on the side of his mouth like John Wayne does with a hand rolled smoke, you know the kind. What do ya want mate, I tell him a cold Fosters big as you got, he produces the largest can of beer I have seen, frosted with a ¼ in of ice and a frosted mug. GREAT!

I ask if anyone would like to try some fish I got today, the girl leans over (thank you god) and her two top buttons are open just enough to melt the frost on the beer can, she says what are they? I tell her I don’t know the names I just know good eating fish when I see them cleaned, and with that I open the foil the smell is dangerously good and nearly everyone in the pub come have a look, I hear things in the back ground like blood lucky yank, yea blood oath don’t ya think mate. I look at her blue eyes and ask are they ok? She laughs and says hey Crock gives us some hardware and that green sauce (nah it can’t be, just a common name). I am thinking hey this is going to be great. Crock the blond and my self with great relish and that hot as fire sauce we clean up the fish. We also finish of two more cans of Fosters and Crock says hey it my shout since you gave us a feed. So out comes the bottle of stuff that looks like swamp water the label has been eaten of by the roaches and he breaks the seal, whatdya drink with rum cowboy he says. I say soda or coke what ever you have. This was mistake 1. Four of those and I am sitting as close as I can to the blond without being in her lap. When she went off to the ladies Crock says hey your getting on with the Shelia why not ask her over for a night cap. I am thinking well, no I am not thinking at this point I am reacting pure reflex no thought involved, good idea but I don’t even know her name yet, Suzie he says with a wink. She returns and with the liquid courage behind me I ask her if she would like to see the cabin I rented and a night cap, as it is getting kinda of late, she says sure thing honey lets get a bottle of Bundy and soda. I say ok 1 bottle of Bundy 5 sodas to go! That’s the 2nd mistake ..YEEE HAWW still not thinking just my brain is yelling ok hurry before I pass out.

In the cabin we have a healthy drink and she says lets have a hot bath (oh thank you thank you the sprits are on my side) ok sounds good to me. She lights up the stove and sits back on the bed next to me and says the water will be hot in a few lets have another so we do That’s the 3rd mistake, after a few the pipes start popping and she says the water is ready and starts filling the tub, half full she grabs my bottle of herbal shampoo and dumps the whole thing in the tub, I never seen a woman get undressed so fast maybe shy or just that she is about 5 or 6 pounds overweight I don’t know she is in the hot water frothing up the suds in an instant and say come on before the water is too cold.

I undress almost falling on my face getting my cowboy boots off and so I don’t step on her leg I side up to the tub facing her and put one foot in, ACK! The water is so hot my toe nails float to the surface crackling like fresh French fries! I step in with the other foot oh so slowly. And she says don’t blush honey, well I am actually not the frigging water is so hot my face is about to burst, but she helps out with an air start  I just love Austrailia at this point never mind the mud, turtle guts and the ringing in my ears from the ###### dynamite.

What a night the last thing I remember was the pink sunrise and she was saying something about not letting me get any sleep and I passed out. When I woke up it was near noon and my head felt like it was eating by a dingo and dumped off a cliff. I swung my legs off the bed and my toes did not quite touch the floor as I eased off I stepped on the empty Bundy bottle and crashed to the floor. I then heard the old lady I rented from yell hey don’t start that again you silly blotto yank! I had no idea what she was talking about. So I cleaned up paid up loaded up for the trip back to Darwin. But I must eat something I still can’t see very well, making a last check of the cabin I find a note and a AUS $20 I open the note but no way can I make out what it says I think I am still drunk so I just put it in my shirt pocket and close the door out, let’s see the pub had knives forks and hot sauce they must have food to. So I go on in, 5 people there a elderly couple and what looks like the same bunch before, only a fat smiling lady is behind the bar, I inquire about food and she says sure mate whatillbe? Steak and eggs? That’s just what I was thinking ok I slide into a boot at the back so I can lean my head on the wall. As if by magic a cold fosters appears and a rough looking oil field type is standing there and says thanks mate good show wish coulda seen what all you were up to, and Screaming Suzie will be in a fix the postman says she could hardly walk, like she rode the old ridge back mare to town and the boss at the station will be a bit put out with that. He’s a bit of a donk ya know, and walked away. Great now what! Show? Donk? Just as the meal arrived Crock shows up and had a sort of smirk on his face and ask how ya going mate, you know we new that a pork chop like you would come in here one day with spit shine Tony Lamas so bright it would blind the cockroaches and a 4” tin of chewing tobacco in his back pocket get drunk and run off with the only single female in these parts. We sat on the porch till 3 listing to Suzie scream and yell and we had to leave at 3am since ole lady Simpson started beating on the door and; I stopped him ‘wait a minuet there Crock I am not taking Suzie anyplace and from what I hear she is back at the station! He kind of squinted and said fair dikum, one of the others spoke up and said yea mate he’s right she left around sunrise from what the postman said. He left the way he came and I finished my meal and beer. After a while I could focus and see that I could actually read the label on the Fosters can. So I pulled out the note and it read:

Hey cowboy thanks for the ride, only I won’t be riding for a few days sure was a lot of fun. The $20 is for that tin of condoms I stole from your jeans back pocket we can use those at the station since we do artificial insemination so not work the studs too hard.

Screaming Suzie XXX

And the last mistake I did not get her address or phone number, anybody know Screaming Suzie of Mandorah ?

[khall64au]

Excuse me Mr Skunk but... is this a true story? I don't understand the ending

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I think that I do

[khall64au]

Facts about Orstralia!

1. The bigger the hat, the smaller the farm.

2. The shorter the nickname, the more they like you.

3. Whether it's the opening of Parliament, or the launch of a new art

gallery, there is no Australian event that cannot be improved by a

sausage sizzle.

4. If the guy next to you is swearing like a wharfie he's probably a

media billionaire. Or, on the other hand, he could be a wharfie.

5. There is no food that cannot be improved by the application of

tomato

sauce (theoretically speaking).

6. On the beach, all Australians hide their keys and wallets by placing

them inside their sandshoes. No thief has ever worked this out.

7. Industrial design knows of no article more useful than the chep

pallet.

8. All our best heroes are losers.

9. The alpha male in any group is he who takes the barbecue tongs from

the hands of the host and blithely begins turning the snags.

10. It's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to hold.

11. A thong is not a piece of scanty swimwear, as is the case in the

U.S.A., but a fine example of Australian footwear. Therefore, a group

of

sheilas wearing black rubber thongs may not be as exciting as you had

first hoped.

12. It is proper to refer to your best friend as "a total bastard". By

contrast, your worst enemy is "a bit of a bastard".

13. Historians believe the widespread use of the word "mate" can be

traced to the harsh conditions on the Australian frontier in the late

1800s, and the development of a code of mutual aid, or "mateship".

Alternatively, Australians may just be really hopeless with names.

14. The wise man chooses a partner who is attractive not only to

himself, but also to the mosquitoes.

15. If it can't be fixed with pantyhose and fencing wire, then it's not

worth fixing.

16. The most popular and widely praised family in any street is the one

that has the swimming pool.

17. It's considered better to be 'down on your luck' than 'up

yourself'.

18. The phrase "we've got a great lifestyle" means everyone in the

family drinks too much.

19. If invited to a party, you should take cheap red wine and then

spend

all night drinking the host's beer. (Don't worry, he will have catered

for it).

20. If there's any sort of free event, or party, within a hundred

kilometres, you'd be a mug not to go.

21. The phrase "a simple picnic" is not known. You should take

everything you own. If you don't need to make three trips back to the

car, then you're not trying.

22. Unless of ethnic origin, you are not permitted to sit down in your

front yard, or on your front verandah. Pottering about, gardening or

leaning on the fence are acceptable. Just don't sit. That's what

backyards are for.

23. The tarred road always ends just after the house of the local

mayor.

24. On picnics, the esky is always too small, creating a

food-versus-alcohol battle that can only ever be resolved by leaving

the

salad or bread rolls at home.

25. When on a country holiday, the neon sign advertising the motel's

pool will always be slightly larger than the pool itself.

26. The men are tough, but the women can be tougher.

27. The chief test of personal strength is one's ability to install a

beach umbrella in high winds.

28. Australians love new technology. Years after their introduction,

most conversations on mobile phones are principally about the fact that

the call is "being made on my mobile".

29. There comes a time in every Australian's life when he/she realises

that the Aerogard is worse than the flies.

30. And, finally, don't let the tourist books fool you. No-one EVER

says

"cobber" to anyone ... EVER!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

[meelousee]

khall64au

yes it's a true story except for some minor facts.

The water was not realy that hot

[udon]

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world. For his first chapter he decided to write about Australian churches. So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Hobart, thinking that he would work his way across the country from South, East to West.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call". The writer, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.The writer thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Melbourne. There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Hobart and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was. She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God."O.K., thank you," said the writer.

He then travelled to Sydney,Canberra, Adelaide, Brisbane, Darwin, and Alice Springs. In every church he saw the same golden telephone with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Alice Springs saw a sign for Perth and decided to see if Westerners had the same phone. He arrived in Perth, and again, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read

"30 cents per call." The writer was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've travelled all over Australia and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in every state the price was $10,000 per call. Why is it so cheap here?" The priest smiled and answered, "You're in Western Australia now son, it's a local call".

[dr_Pat_Pong]

[Jai Dee]

How to speak New Zealunder...

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Luvut

[Jai Dee]

In the Beginning...

In the beginning God created day and night.

He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQ's. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.

On the Second Day, God created water - for surfing, swimming and BBQ's on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.

On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.

On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God saw that it was good.... well almost good. He saw that the blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest. So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, and cook and clean the BBQ.

God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!

[khall64au]

WHAT AUSSIES BELIEVE IN:

1. Terrorism will not change our way of life because any terrorist will soon join us at the beach BBQ with a 6 pack.

2. Australians are still the best cricketers in the world in spite of evidence to the contrary.

3. Ayres Rock (Uluru) should be placed near the Opera House and Harbour Bridge to support the tourism industry.

4. The sickie is a right for all especially during sporting events.

5. CSI Miami always tells the truth.

6. It is ok for a daughter to do ballet, but if a son wants to, he's gonna get an earful and be sent to the footy.

7. Bali is a great place to go on holiday if you want to be famous."

[dr_Pat_Pong]

In the Beginning...

In the beginning God created day and night.

He created day for footy matches, going to the beach and BBQ's. He created night for going prawning, sleeping and BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Second Day.

On the Second Day, God created water - for surfing, swimming and BBQ's on the beach. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Third Day.

On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plants - to provide malt and yeast for beer and wood for BBQs. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fourth Day.

On the Fourth Day God created animals and crustaceans for chops, sausages, steak and prawns for BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Fifth Day.

On the Fifth day God created a bloke - to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Sixth Day.

On the Sixth Day God saw that this bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with. So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good blokes. God saw that it was good. Evening came and morning came and it was the Seventh Day.

On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes, smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and God saw that it was good.... well almost good. He saw that the blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest. So God created Sheilas - to clean the house, bear children, wash, and cook and clean the BBQ.

God saw that it was not just good, it was better than that, it was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Artisi]

THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you

tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this

old Aussie guy handled it.

An 86 year old Aussie guy walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he

approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing

the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment

in this roomful of people. You should have said there is something wrong

with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with

the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken

her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter

[udon]

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken

her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter

[udon]

Here he is.

Courtesy of Aviador .

[dr_Pat_Pong]

THE DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT

There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you

tell her what is wrong in a room  full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this

old Aussie guy handled it.

An 86 year old Aussie guy walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he

approached the  desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir,  what are you seeing

the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment

in this  roomful of people. You should have said there is something wrong

with your ear or something  and then  discussed the problem further with

the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things  in a room full of others, if the answer  could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken

her advice.

"And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Love it

[udon]

The True Power of Money

[Artisi]

The True Power of Money 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Udon - that's grotesque

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Mine Grew-Somemore

[Artisi]

Mine Grew-Somemore

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The scotsman and the kilt story

[khall64au]

Find the pub before citizenship plunge

The Government's security shake-up means a less secure immediate future for many of our immigrants, reports Caroline Overington

September 24, 2005

AT times it seems there's nothing the Government loves more than a new Australian citizen. For four years it paid for television commercials, urging permanent residents to stand up before the Aussie flag and take the citizenship pledge.

Tens of thousands of permanent residents who intended to do just that in the near future may now find their plans disrupted as they become unexpectedly caught in Australia's war on terror.

Under new security rules foreshadowed this month by the Prime Minister, permanent residents will have to wait a minimum of three years in this country before applying for citizenship, instead of the present two. Many are high-skilled Britons and Kiwis, along with refugees from Africa and Chinese migrants who have come to Australia to be reunited with family.

That change may not seem onerous -- the Howard Government says it is modest, reasonable and necessary in the age of terror -- but the three years must be spent in Australia to count, as with the two-year requirement now. Business and holiday trips, or time spent with family overseas, are deducted from the total.

The planned change is likely to affect more than 100,000 people on permanent residency visas. It will apply to all permanent residents who have not already applied for citizenship, irrespective of how they have organised their lives for the present rules.

A permanent residency visa can be cancelled by the Government and, unlike in the US, requires a new re-entry visa after five years for overseas travel.

Citizenship and Multicultural Affairs Minister John Cobb says the change is necessary because it will give new migrants time to "make mates and go to the pub". He tells Inquirer new immigrants are particularly vulnerable "to falling in with dangerous groups".

"Many people who arrive, they are alone, they are outside their own country, they don't know people, and they are very likely to be prey to extreme views, and extreme groups can recruit them," Cobb says.

"If somebody has been here only two years, they are not as likely to be settled. This extra year will give them time to get a job, get settled, give them time to make mates and go to the pub. If they have come into contact with some extreme group, they'll be capable of saying, 'No mate, that's not what life is about in Australia', and they are not going to be anywhere near as vulnerable."

Cobb, who is doubtless not referring to newly arrived Muslims with his recommendation to go pubbing, says he cannot readily give an example of a person who has fallen by the wayside in their third year of residency after being granted citizenship. But he says most Australians will welcome the changes, "as it gives us an extra year to ensure they [new arrivals] don't fall in with unsavoury characters".

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/commo...5E28737,00.html

[Artisi]

NO -- it' is not a joke - after a lot of planning and reorganising things,I can only say that I am extremely dissapointed. Although I belive that Australia should safeguard itself to the utmost.

How about moving this in another thread for more comment.