The Answer Is . . . .

[Livinginexile]

Good topic mate.

I listen for the tone in the reply and the look I get. You can find whats what when asking something that you know for sure she likes and doesn't like. Also most of our wives are younger and look up to us for some sort of guidance. Mine doesn't get much of that though.

Thanks.

I tend to look at the face and eyes. If the smile matches both mouth and eyes, I know it is OK.

That simple raising of the head for a nod of yes is usually a good warning sign of disapproval.

I'm not the best one to give her guidance as my route is usually the wrong one. Reverse psychology can help

LOL

"Forgive them, for they know not what they do"

Bless their little cotton socks.

You gotta love em'

[TAWP]

G54

Ooh...I'm sure you know about this, before you married her..............the "UP TO U" thingy.

So why is such a problem now?

Luckily I never heard (and never have) that from my wife - but another kind of women tend to say it a lot. Was this implied to be the reason G54 had heard it a lot or just something you have heard other women say a lot too?

Edited May 12, 2009 by TAWP

[robblok]

My wife speaks fluent English and was educated abroad. I don't think I could deal with a language barrier as I feel communication is the biggest part of a relationship. I guess my suggestion would be to send you partner to an English school or try to teach her yourself.

My wife was schooled in Thailand but her English is pretty good. Ok it can't be compared to mine but still there are no communication problems what so ever. I was married once before in Holland to an other Thai, there were a lot of communication problems and i realized i never wanted that again. Like you say communication is real important.

[rak sa_ngop]

A friend of mine in a coffee shop ordered 2 coffees, one black, one white.

Of course he got 4 coffees back because 2 + 1 + 1 = 4

For non-native speakers an easy mistake to make.

That's what experiencing other cultures is all about.

[teacup]

G54

Ooh...I'm sure you know about this, before you married her..............the "UP TO U" thingy.

So why is such a problem now?

Luckily I never heard (and never have) that from my wife - but another kind of women tend to say it a lot. Was this implied to be the reason G54 had heard it a lot or just something you have heard other women say a lot too?

U know the saying.....We are also partly responsible for the choices we make.

So G54,...pray tell

[bonobo]

This is also a little different, but maddening all the same:

I was out with a well-educated, English-speaking Thai woman.  When it was time for dinner, I asked her if she had any preferences, and she told me shae wanted to eat western food, beef in particular.  I offered her two choices:  a steak place or a Texas-style BBQ buffet place.  She jumped right at the BBQ and said that is what she wanted.

We went there, had the salad bar (she only had a little somtam and a few odds and ends), and when I went for my meat, she just sat there. I asked her if she was going to get her BBQ, and she told me she didn't like BBQ nor meat. When I asked her why she said she wanted beef, she told me she thought I might like beef today, so she picked that.

[coconutmonkey]

There just comes a time in your life with a Thai wife where you grow balls and decide everything for yourself!

The western chicks I've known either a) give you the most ridiculous answers, cause they wanna do something totally opposite, or get bored sh*tless with guys who ask all the time.

Make decisions for yourself.... do what you wanna do, have fun, they will follow and have fun too...... later, you will begin to get suggestions from them cause they've been having a good time doing it your way.

[TEFLMike]

It appears that it is not going to get any better as years roll on.

One day, a class, as usual, arrives 10 minutes late, as most of them do.

Self to class: OK. You are late. 10 minutes late. So, I keep you here for 10 minutes after the bell sounds.

(Almost to cue) >> Class: (That long drawn out 'nurrrrrr' (No?) 'Nur bin'.

Self: 'Nur bin?'

Class: 'urrrrrrrr' (yes?) (sounds like nurrrrr) bin'.

Self: What are you trying to tell me?' (They understand that.)

Class: (Looking at each other, and a slight discussion later, turn to me and in unison say) ' BINGO!'

Self: 'BINGO?'

Class: 'urrrrrrrrr BINGO!'

Self: 'You play bingo in school?'

Class: ' nurrrrrrr bingo'.

Self: (Getting rather frustrated, without showing it), 'LOOK! You cannot play bingo instead of your lesson'.

Class: (all in unison again) ' nurrrrrrrrrrr'.

Self: 'OK. You, (pointing at one of the cleverer english speaking girls) come here please and take the chalk and draw bingo on the board'.

Girl does as I ask.

Self: Thinking to myself, this should be a good excuse.

What does she draw on the board? Only a dustbin!

Self: Ahhhhhhh! 'You go bin! (Losing track on my own English :-(

Class: 'HEY! Mr Michael Teeechur! You clevur! YES?'

Self: 'You mean you have to go to the school bins?'

Class: (Louder than ever) 'YES! We take trash, (class girl leader raps her ruler on the desk, jumps up and shouts in Thai to the girls and she must have said something similar as 'It is not trash in Mr Michael's class, it is lubbish!' (Meaning my class is rubbish? I do not think so).

Class: (All jump to their feet and shout out) 'YES. We bin go wit lubbish!

DUH!

Edited May 12, 2009 by TEFLMike

[capco1]

There just comes a time in your life with a Thai wife where you grow balls and decide everything for yourself!

The western chicks I've known either a) give you the most ridiculous answers, cause they wanna do something totally opposite, or get bored sh*tless with guys who ask all the time.

Make decisions for yourself.... do what you wanna do, have fun, they will follow and have fun too...... later, you will begin to get suggestions from them cause they've been having a good time doing it your way.

I'm gonna need to agree with this response!!.......I call the shots, if she doesn't like it she'll let me know!

[sumrit]

Even more frustrating when you ask a yes or no question and invariably get the yes when she means no or vice versa.

The rule I go by is ask every question twice in two ways, or suffer the time your about to lose through miscommunication.

I try not to ask a 'negative' question to a Thai, even a well educated one.

If you ask "you don't want to...............do you?" an English speaking person will answer 'no' to agree with you and 'yes'

to disagree but a Thai person will always answer 'yes' to agree with you and 'no' to disagree.

I've been told it's because Thais never ask negative questions in Thai, they tend to make a statement and then turn it

into a question with 'mai, arai, etc' on the end. This means they always ask 'positive' questions where they answer yes to

agree and no to disagree. They can't understand how they can answer 'no' to agree with something.