Mee And My Dad

[kerryk]

I think it's much simpler than that!

In our original country we are limited and controlled in our access to sex (most of us) our whole lives.

Then we appear in Thailand and find a woman who is more than willing to have as much sex as we can take.

Some of the guys can't understand that a woman who is prepared to have sex with them frequently doesn't really like them.

It's just not a situation a normal man ever encounters in the west.

A little bit like living in a country with prohibition, then moving somewhere that you can drink all you like.

Ludditeman, let's accept that logic, but why do they end up with such nasty, bad attitude, ugly women with baggage?

I don't frequent the bars, but surely girls like this can't be the pick of the crop?

If it's just sex, why not take the cream of the crop? If I was going to take a hooker, I'd take the very best I could find, with a good attitude and no kids. I assume the rates are much the same to rent a Toyota or Porsche...why take the Toyota? Are they looking for a rental, or are the looking to buy?

Or are the guys making a conscious decision that they can't afford a Porsche? Or do they think it's too much to handle? Or is the Porsche looking for someone who can afford the upkeep?

Or am I so out of touch that the market is predominantly Toyota's? Porsches are that rare.

Too many questions....

I lived with a woman for a few years who used to work in a bar. She was 38 with two children. I had a friend who lived with a lady he met in a go go she was 18 and looked like a cover girl. There was a 1000% difference in the compensation rate. We were both treated very well and I nor he had any complaints. So in answer to your question the rates are much different. The places to meet the ladies are much different. High class call girl as opposed to bar girl big difference in education, manners and so on. Especially in Thailand where men are so status conscious even with mia nois. Like in most real world situations you get what you pay for.

[DLock]

Dlock. Some people's life revolves ONLY around sex. Unfortunately as you travel asia and meet lower tier of the human spectrum you realize that there is a lot more of these people than you'd think back home(they are busy hiding in saunas and other nasty places when they are not working at minimum wage)

It is not only the 50+ guys that are like this, a lot of 20-50 years old white guys are getting run over by the ugliest of the ugliest bargirls. Even the good looking guys. All they see is sex and they are blinded by it. All you can do is wonder what they did in previous lvies to be like this and feel sorry for them. Even if they were not getting taken by a thai woman they'd find a way to ruin their own lives just because of their little brain being unable to control their sexual desire and being happy without getting drunk and fking 2-3 times a day.

Some of these guys will be fine in their home country but after even just 12hrs in thailand they become people you wont ever associate with, they cant be saved from themselves

You talk like someone who thinks that sex is A BAD THING! A religious upbringing can twist people's minds away from normal human wants and needs. Who really should care about what others think or want? The bar girls obviously supply a need that can not be fulfilled at home in a marriage that either isn't working, or one partner not meeting the sexual needs of the other. Or, for a single man who does not WANT to be tied to just one person. Why be miserable in life when there is someone out there that can fix it?

I agree with F1fanatic that if you can help someone help themselves then it's FAR better than just throwing money at the needy. I've given thousands of dollars away helping those that need it more than me. As long as I have enough to keep my simple life in order then I ask for nothing more. I don't spend more than what I can afford, or purchase what I can't afford to lose. I don't loan money because it's sure way to lose friends, but I will offer a donation to help someone in a time of need. If I get played as a sucker once in a while then that is THEIR problem, not mine.

In the OP's story an old guy fell in lust/love with a younger woman. What is wrong with that? If they lasted a few years and the old guy was happy then it was money well spent. The young woman obviously gained a new home and things she might never acquired otherwise. When things broke down, as most marriages do, then they both went their separate ways. If the old guy was reunited with his son then so much the better.

I'm also an old guy with much younger women friends. I like them and they like me, but none of us have any great expectations for the future. The relationships will last as long as they are destined to and we will then go our merry way elsewhere with no regrets. Some day I expect I'll be sitting in a rocking chair with a big grin on my face telling tall tales to my grand kids.

That's terrific Ian. I am glad you are charitable and have fun and continue to tell us mail after mail. We get it, we've seen the pictures.

I don't know why you read into my mail that I think sex is bad or perhaps religion is perhaps the problem. Nothing could be further from the truth. Guys can come to Thailand and bang their brains out. Thailand was built on that and always will be. That's besides the point.

What I don't understand is the level these guys are willing to settle for and why they marry them, and invest in the relationship with a low level prostitute. The video is the context here. Did you find Mee appealing in any way?

If you think its ok to be with a girl, let alone marry her, that dislikes you and makes it clear if you had no money she would not be with you, then I guess we are just different.

And whilst I would never have a relation with a prostitute, I am sure some there are some relationships that work, and some guys marry 9's or 10's. That's not the context of this post at all.

It's why seemingly good guys marry the lowest form of woman - one's that are ugly inside and out, dislikes them, makes it clear it's only financial and comes with a lot of baggage. Let's take the fact that she's a prostitute out of it.

Let's keep it simple. Why do they not just have a life like you Ian?

[kerryk]

The girl MEE was a classic hooker, you could tell that a milde off, she was course and vulgar,

The chap was in love with a younger bird, sh eeven said the the docu that if he had no cash they wouldn't be together!!

This is just another case of an older chap punching above his weight for a while with a younger bird who when she has bled him dry he's on the pavement,

He seemed like a nice chap, I don't know him so that's only an opinion, my opinion of her is also what I saw but don't know her either, although I am sure she was serving more that food and drinks when he met her!

The son, he was OK, looking out for his Dad and it seems now that he was right to be concerned, I reckon he was worried about his Dad and maybe his inheritance that is now gone!

It's sad but the only thing a young Thai bird sees in a 55+ yo man is money, I don't care who you are, if you think different then you need to be hinest with youself

Let's hope he's OK and she gets what she deserves if she did indded fleece him!

Ce la vie, stick to you own age women, or find out the hard way!

Good luck to all.

Good luck indeed. There are not a lot of 70 year old women working in bars. I have met one who was 65.

[DLock]

I think it's much simpler than that!

In our original country we are limited and controlled in our access to sex (most of us) our whole lives.

Then we appear in Thailand and find a woman who is more than willing to have as much sex as we can take.

Some of the guys can't understand that a woman who is prepared to have sex with them frequently doesn't really like them.

It's just not a situation a normal man ever encounters in the west.

A little bit like living in a country with prohibition, then moving somewhere that you can drink all you like.

Ludditeman, let's accept that logic, but why do they end up with such nasty, bad attitude, ugly women with baggage?

I don't frequent the bars, but surely girls like this can't be the pick of the crop?

If it's just sex, why not take the cream of the crop? If I was going to take a hooker, I'd take the very best I could find, with a good attitude and no kids. I assume the rates are much the same to rent a Toyota or Porsche...why take the Toyota? Are they looking for a rental, or are the looking to buy?

Or are the guys making a conscious decision that they can't afford a Porsche? Or do they think it's too much to handle? Or is the Porsche looking for someone who can afford the upkeep?

Or am I so out of touch that the market is predominantly Toyota's? Porsches are that rare.

Too many questions....

I lived with a woman for a few years who used to work in a bar. She was 38 with two children. I had a friend who lived with a lady he met in a go go she was 18 and looked like a cover girl. There was a 1000% difference in the compensation rate. We were both treated very well and I nor he had any complaints. So in answer to your question the rates are much different. The places to meet the ladies are much different. High class call girl as opposed to bar girl big difference in education, manners and so on. Especially in Thailand where men are so status conscious even with mia nois. Like in most real world situations you get what you pay for.

Kerry, that sheds some light.

The rates are that different? That may explain why so many guys are renting Toyotas. Available funds.

It goes someway to answering the question...but you didn't marry or invest in a house. You enjoyed it without commitment. I get that.

I get the rental thing...it's buying an old, beat-up Toyota with a million miles on the clock and a trunk full of old baggage that confuses the heck out of me.

[473geo]

The male it appears attempts to convert what is transitory to the girl, into a permanent relationship, for some it works, for others it does not

Why? a misguided expectation that commitment will be rewarded perhaps, a sense of feeling needed, or perhaps just a better option than the alternatives

[kerryk]

I have lived with a number of women in Thailand. They all wanted to get married, It has been my experience that three years is the maximum waiting time before they leave looking for greener pastures. I can't imagine getting married with the current odds for success. I don't do anything with those kind of odds. Not even close. When a doctor tells me something has a 20% chance of hurting me I stop, let alone a 70% chance.

I am frankly awed that Western men marry Thai women at any age. I am frankly awed that Western marry Western women at any age. Guys look at the numbers. You got a lot better chance playing Russian Roulette with 2 bullets in the cylinder. Do a lot of you guys play Russian Roulette?

[thaiIand]

ian, these people do not know what love is, they never fall in love. To be in love you have to be sober first. Most englishmen are not sober a single hour in their life past their 15th birthday, at least most of those who moved to thailand.

[DLock]

The male it appears attempts to convert what is transitory to the girl, into a permanent relationship, for some it works, for others it does not

Why? a misguided expectation that commitment will be rewarded perhaps, a sense of feeling needed, or perhaps just a better option than the alternatives

473, I would agree with that notion and understand that it works for some and not others. But again, not really the point. This isn't really about prostitutes as such.

I just don't understand what would make any guy try and convert someone like "Mee".

I can't really fault her. She was honest. She did not find the guy attractive and admitted it was merely financial. She treated him like a stupid Customer.

I am struggling with the mindset of a guy who marry a person knowing that...even ignoring her profession and her kids. Where is his head at? Did he think he could change her? Was he in denial? No sex is that good.

Maybe it is just me. Perhaps it's my self respect or standards or caring what others might think. I could never overlook all those red flags...and just don't understand how someone else could.

[transam]

ian, these people do not know what love is, they never fall in love. To be in love you have to be sober first. Most englishmen are not sober a single hour in their life past their 15th birthday, at least most of those who moved to thailand.

And what nationality are you ? Englishmen is spelled with a BIG E.

[473geo]

The male it appears attempts to convert what is transitory to the girl, into a permanent relationship, for some it works, for others it does not

Why? a misguided expectation that commitment will be rewarded perhaps, a sense of feeling needed, or perhaps just a better option than the alternatives

473, I would agree with that notion and understand that it works for some and not others. But again, not really the point. This isn't really about prostitutes as such.

I just don't understand what would make any guy try and convert someone like "Mee".

I can't really fault her. She was honest. She did not find the guy attractive and admitted it was merely financial. She treated him like a stupid Customer.

I am struggling with the mindset of a guy who marry a person knowing that...even ignoring her profession and her kids. Where is his head at? Did he think he could change her? Was he in denial? No sex is that good.

Maybe it is just me. Perhaps it's my self respect or standards or caring what others might think. I could never overlook all those red flags...and just don't understand how someone else could.

If you have been around the bar scene you will note that the stunning lookers are very busy. I knew one very attractive girl who literally moved her men one out, new one in, while having 3 guys sending her money. She was making every penny while she could working to the max

Then there is Mee sat at the end of the bar not very attractive but very responsive to the approach by the farang, makes a real effort because this is her chance, initially pleased with the opportunity that has arisen, it shows, and is spotted by the farang, so the relationship begins.

I always found the stunning girls rather aloof and tended to avoid them also because of their through put., The average lookers, still attractive in that Thai way, were much more appreciative and available, real fun to be with, the sort you tag along with for a week or two with no difficulty. Perhaps that is part of the 'attraction'

[473geo]

The male it appears attempts to convert what is transitory to the girl, into a permanent relationship, for some it works, for others it does not

Why? a misguided expectation that commitment will be rewarded perhaps, a sense of feeling needed, or perhaps just a better option than the alternatives

473, I would agree with that notion and understand that it works for some and not others. But again, not really the point. This isn't really about prostitutes as such.

I just don't understand what would make any guy try and convert someone like "Mee".

I can't really fault her. She was honest. She did not find the guy attractive and admitted it was merely financial. She treated him like a stupid Customer.

I am struggling with the mindset of a guy who marry a person knowing that...even ignoring her profession and her kids. Where is his head at? Did he think he could change her? Was he in denial? No sex is that good.

Maybe it is just me. Perhaps it's my self respect or standards or caring what others might think. I could never overlook all those red flags...and just don't understand how someone else could.

To take your next point about finance. It is very easy to build a house, and not too expensive, most people with a credit card could actually throw a house build in Thailand on a credit card no problem. So everybody is happy, all is rolling along just fine, but at this point there is a possibility that for the average guy the expectation of the Thai wife is starting to exceed the level of income, or perhaps the husband becomes a little cautious about providing more cash. As with Mee having drank the well dry the Thai lady just moves on. The Farang who has up to this point been relatively happy is suddenly devastated and deserted, soon this turns to bitterness. Yet through the relationship his experience had actually been enjoyable and pleasant.

Edited January 21, 2012 by 473geo

[ludditeman]

What I don't understand is the level these guys are willing to settle for and why they marry them, and invest in the relationship with a low level prostitute. The video is the context here. Did you find Mee appealing in any way?

First you have to understand that the women we are taking about are hunters.

They go out looking for new (to Thailand) and inexperienced guys (with women) to ambush.

The guys are either desperate (from a failed relationship in the west) or have been ignored by women all their lives.

They don't know the game, they accept the first woman who shows interest.

Most of the victimes are basically nice, normal guys (that don't understand Thailand).

I didn't find her attractinve in the video or in person.

But I often hang out with these girls, and they can be a lot of fun, when they know you aren't a potential victim.

Then there is Mee sat at the end of the bar not very attractive but very responsive to the approach by the farang, makes a real effort because this is her chance, initially pleased with the opportunity that has arisen, it shows, and is spotted by the farang, so the relationship begins.

A mistake in reasoning, a foreigner doesn't choose her, after a careful evaluation of the 'mark', she chooses.

Edited January 21, 2012 by ludditeman

[ExpatOilWorker]

ian, these people do not know what love is, they never fall in love. To be in love you have to be sober first. Most englishmen are not sober a single hour in their life past their 15th birthday, at least most of those who moved to thailand.

And what nationality are you ? Englishmen is spelled with a BIG E.

You mean capital E?

[473geo]

Years ago I was drinking at a bar I regularly frequented, a young guy rolls up and starts chatting to one of the girls, he asks me how do I date her? she is lovely............so I tell him sit down and buy her a few drinks see how it goes. He does and they get on well, at the end of the night he leaves and she makes no effort to go with him but comes back to the 'party'

Following night he arrives and sits next to me, he complains that the girl is just ignoring him, he is gutted, but all is revealed when he says he has little money to buy drink!

I did offer to pay the girl for the night as he was a decent young chap, but his dream holiday romance had been shattered.....inconsolable.....never saw him again

Not only the old fossils that are lured......I have seen these girls in action many times, and some love playing the game.....they are indeed as Ludditeman says friendly, amusing and entertaining 'off duty'

I remember one girl returning from a trip around Thailand with a belgian guy......30 days and he gave her 3000 baht.....and apparently she had to pay for her own food.....she was really put out, but the next day was all smiles moved on to the next one!

[Beetlejuice]

I’m sorry but the guy is a loser and a bonehead.

Get involved with people who are at the bottom of the pile and they will take you right down there with them.

The guy had a few bob when he met that girl and she saw him as a fast track way to boost her lifestyle. To her he was just a disposable asset and this love sick fool allowed himself to fall right into the do dars.

These guys must be desperate, or stupid or both. I wouldn’t give that girl the time of day. What makes this worse is that guy permitted himself to be filmed behaving like a lovesick teenager.

If I were his son I would have put as much distance between him and me as possible. A total embarrassment.

Sure beats me.

[ludditeman]

Get involved with people who are at the bottom of the pile and they will take you right down there with them.

How would you know if she was 'from the bottom of the pile'

You are just as likely to meet her as 'my assistant' at a business networking meeting, or an expats club function as in a bar.

Edited January 21, 2012 by ludditeman

[kerryk]

I’m sorry but the guy is a loser and a bonehead.

Get involved with people who are at the bottom of the pile and they will take you right down there with them.

The guy had a few bob when he met that girl and she saw him as a fast track way to boost her lifestyle. To her he was just a disposable asset and this love sick fool allowed himself to fall right into the do dars.

These guys must be desperate, or stupid or both. I wouldn’t give that girl the time of day. What makes this worse is that guy permitted himself to be filmed behaving like a lovesick teenager.

If I were his son I would have put as much distance between him and me as possible. A total embarrassment.

Sure beats me.

How many times have you been married?

[473geo]

I’m sorry but the guy is a loser and a bonehead.

Get involved with people who are at the bottom of the pile and they will take you right down there with them.

The guy had a few bob when he met that girl and she saw him as a fast track way to boost her lifestyle. To her he was just a disposable asset and this love sick fool allowed himself to fall right into the do dars.

These guys must be desperate, or stupid or both. I wouldn’t give that girl the time of day. What makes this worse is that guy permitted himself to be filmed behaving like a lovesick teenager.

If I were his son I would have put as much distance between him and me as possible. A total embarrassment.

Sure beats me.

Poor attitude.....

I admire these guys for having a go, and perhaps for a year or two having great fun in Thailand, while perhaps their old mates are going to the same pub, buying the same beer, and sitting in the same chair (for example)

If it doesn't work out.....well so be it, pick up and get on with life, same as you would anywhere, don't be bitter, look on the experience as fun.....and move on with no regrets.....these guys have lived a little......jumped on the rollercoaster and lived dangerously.....they have been alive!!

[IanForbes]

That's terrific Ian. I am glad you are charitable and have fun and continue to tell us mail after mail. We get it, we've seen the pictures.

I don't know why you read into my mail that I think sex is bad or perhaps religion is perhaps the problem. Nothing could be further from the truth. Guys can come to Thailand and bang their brains out. Thailand was built on that and always will be. That's besides the point.

What I don't understand is the level these guys are willing to settle for and why they marry them, and invest in the relationship with a low level prostitute. The video is the context here. Did you find Mee appealing in any way?

If you think its ok to be with a girl, let alone marry her, that dislikes you and makes it clear if you had no money she would not be with you, then I guess we are just different.

And whilst I would never have a relation with a prostitute, I am sure some there are some relationships that work, and some guys marry 9's or 10's. That's not the context of this post at all.

It's why seemingly good guys marry the lowest form of woman - one's that are ugly inside and out, dislikes them, makes it clear it's only financial and comes with a lot of baggage. Let's take the fact that she's a prostitute out of it.

Let's keep it simple. Why do they not just have a life like you Ian?

I don't disagree with what you wrote there. I'm also surprised at the women some men pick... or the men that some women pick. But, I've seen too many strange things in my life to be too shocked.

Frankly, I kind of agree with what Kerry wrote... except for his last sentence. I know many happily married couples of mixed races. But, the odds really are not that great.

I have lived with a number of women in Thailand. They all wanted to get married, It has been my experience that three years is the maximum waiting time before they leave looking for greener pastures. I can't imagine getting married with the current odds for success. I don't do anything with those kind of odds. Not even close. When a doctor tells me something has a 20% chance of hurting me I stop, let alone a 70% chance.

I am frankly awed that Western men marry Thai women at any age. I am frankly awed that Western marry Western women at any age. Guys look at the numbers. You got a lot better chance playing Russian Roulette with 2 bullets in the cylinder. Do a lot of you guys play Russian Roulette?

I didn't watch the movie so I don't know what either person looks like, but I don't have to. I've seen the same scenario played out time after time... and not just in Thailand.

[IsaanUSA]

Very interesting thread. A lot of pessimism in here.

[elektrified]

Very nice little film. Thanks for posting.

[Ulysses G.]

The Farang who has up to this point been relatively happy is suddenly devastated and deserted, soon this turns to bitterness.

At which point, he starts posting on Thai Visa.

[lazygourmet]

Thanks for sharing.

[KeyserSoze01]

I remember seeing this film when it was originally being circulated and thought to myself, there is a train wreck just waiting the happen. The only question was how long it would take.

As others have said, what is it about Thailand that makes an otherwise perfectly sane western male, fall for the lowest of the low bar girls, hook, line and sinker. The Mee and My Dad story is nothing new as it has been repeated over and over again. Rinse and repeat marriages, all for the betterment of the little darlings "family".

[Pseudolus]

Regardless of anything else, basically I think is a good guy. A lucky guy as well. Strikes me as one of the potential "Farang died in unexplained accident involving multiple knife wounds - local police believe suicide of motor bike crash" typeof scenarios. He's better off out of that. I would not say she was rotten; they both knew what they were in it for, but I do not think he realised the full implications of his side of the bargain.

He seems to look a lot better though having gotten rid of the leech.

http://www.chiangmai...1/feature4.html

Oh, and he is a member of this forum -not been active for a few years though but did comment on this thread. Guess that is why having read a lot of it, that he is not commenting any further.

Edited January 22, 2012 by AdamBanks

[DLock]

Regardless of anything else, basically I think is a good guy. A lucky guy as well. Strikes me as one of the potential "Farang died in unexplained accident involving multiple knife wounds - local police believe suicide of motor bike crash" typeof scenarios. He's better off out of that. I would not say she was rotten; they both knew what they were in it for, but I do not think he realised the full implications of his side of the bargain.

He seems to look a lot better though having gotten rid of the leech.

http://www.chiangmai...1/feature4.html

Oh, and he is a member of this forum -not been active for a few years though but did comment on this thread. Guess that is why having read a lot of it, that he is not commenting any further.

Adam, agree, he seemed like a reasonable guy.

If he ever came back on here, I'd be really interested in how he viewed that relationship with Mee. My guess is that he'd probably have a wry smile and say he got his MBA in bargirls and he learnt a lot and moved on. At least I hope he would.

If I am in a beerbar with buddies, I will usually say "no thankyou" to the first bargirl who approaches with the "where you from?" question, or I speak Thai and they lose interest fast. Next time, I'm going to play the fresh-of-the-boat tourist and see what happens. I'll let you know.

[ARISTIDE]

Nice story, however, 'Mee' said "My family always come first!"

[kerryk]

Regardless of anything else, basically I think is a good guy. A lucky guy as well. Strikes me as one of the potential "Farang died in unexplained accident involving multiple knife wounds - local police believe suicide of motor bike crash" typeof scenarios. He's better off out of that. I would not say she was rotten; they both knew what they were in it for, but I do not think he realised the full implications of his side of the bargain.

He seems to look a lot better though having gotten rid of the leech.

http://www.chiangmai...1/feature4.html

Oh, and he is a member of this forum -not been active for a few years though but did comment on this thread. Guess that is why having read a lot of it, that he is not commenting any further.

Is the guy in your link, The United Kingdom’s Prince Charles was personally honoring him with Membership of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) – setting a well-polished capstone to a dynamic, innovative career in youth and community work."

Is he the same guy in the film???

[Pseudolus]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/3799125.stm

Same guy. The film was directed by his son, Lorne Kramer. He got his MBE for his work in the UK with kids. No doubt he got fed up with that and decided to take a on real mission impossible; turning a hardened bar girl into a wife. In fact subconsciously, I would hazard a guess that there is a bit of truth in this. His work in the UK is hard graft and very gratifying, and no doubt changed a lot of lives. It might also lead him to believe that anyone can change their spots given the right support both financial and emotional. Maybe he did not realise that hardened bar girls with two kids from her meng da which likely was the man she was still attracted to, did not want to change but just get a nice revenue stream for the family. No wonder the mother was smiling and laughing like a woman possessed; equivalent to winning the lottery for her.

I would like to know what state the house is in now. There can be no way he still lives there I would assume.

[elektrified]

I remember seeing this film when it was originally being circulated and thought to myself, there is a train wreck just waiting the happen. The only question was how long it would take.

As others have said, what is it about Thailand that makes an otherwise perfectly sane western male, fall for the lowest of the low bar girls, hook, line and sinker. The Mee and My Dad story is nothing new as it has been repeated over and over again. Rinse and repeat marriages, all for the betterment of the little darlings "family".

It's nothing new at all. Happens every day. Who knows why... I'm sure many psychologists have a theory... A friend of mine who is a long-time ex-pat in Thailand married a girl with a 5th grade education. She wasn't a prostitute but how can they relate??? Who would marry a girl who was a prostitute or so completely uneducated in their own country?

What most posters missed about the short film (IMHO) since most of them are focusing on the old guy and the prostitute, is a nice little story of genuine affection between a father and son.