Trying To Rebuild Your Life In Thailand

[Carib]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

What is wrong with child support? It is your child, so take care of it.

It really looks like you are running, and from your moral obligation too.

[MikeSoi11]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

What is wrong with child support? It is your child, so take care of it.

It really looks like you are running, and from your moral obligation too.

wife gets teh house. then i pay for her so she can have a new bf. then pay for the kids too? what do i get?

[Carib]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

What is wrong with child support? It is your child, so take care of it.

It really looks like you are running, and from your moral obligation too.

wife gets teh house. then i pay for her so she can have a new bf. then pay for the kids too? what do i get?

Probably what you deserve according to the law.

You are starting to sound pretty trollish. No more comments from me on this subject/topic

[cm96]

45 year old dead-beat fathers running away from child support with qualifications of dj'ing & 'private party organizing' ?

Hey Thai Immigration! Don't you need this guy in Thailand now?!

Trollish is WAY too kind for this <deleted>.

[MikeSoi11]

the law have no meaning if it is not fair.

you talk about bar girl trick but look what i have.

ex wife has a new man in her life but i am still going to pay for her and maybe for him too who knows?

u think thats good?

i hate the american system and i want to try things here instead. is that terrible?

[cm96]

Your ex wifes 'new man' did'nt bring those kids into this world, you did. DOH!

They could break up tomorrow and YOUR kids still got hungry mouths.

I dont like stereotypes and inconsistent immigration rules either, however those words exist for a reason.

Exhibit A Mike, Irresponsible african american father comes to Thailand to be 'off the hook' for child support, looking for bars to hang out in.

Exhibit B Thai Immigration making it tougher to get visas.

[MikeSoi11]

you will not know until it is you one day my brotha

[jpolten]

you will not know until it is you one day my brotha

Friend's and women will come and go!

You'll alway's have your family!

Keep in contact with your kids (no matter what happens)

[TexasRanger]

Mike, are you a wigga?

[StreetCowboy]

I am coming out of a divorce and really feel like Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. Do you agree? Please share your experience on such.

Become a monk and stay on the wagon for a year, then consider your decision.

I think it is very easy to get led astray in Thailand. And I have not seen ANY evidence that Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. I've seen loads of old codgers liveing out the end of the life bought and paid for in other countries, and loads of youger fellas subsisting - and a few fellas who have international lives that choose to spend their weekends in Thailand. But I haven't seen any foreigner build a life for himself with his feet planted in Thailand the same way that he could in Hong Kong or England or USA or France or SIngapore.

Get a life, and then go to Thailand to spend it. But if you don't have a life, the one you find in Thailand won't be worth having

SC

Sorry - that is a bit extreme, but really, the solution to the problems you have at home which you find in Thailand will probably be too much for you to cope with, without the backup of all the humdrum that you have at home. Thailand is a good place to go for a break, but if you live here, its not so easy to get a break...

[JohnGotti]

Thank you for the information. in regard to your username, my people's were actually maize farmers as slaves here in America (i recently did some geology work and traced my paternal ancestors and was able to find out what plantation they worked on, where in Africa they came from, even the ship they were sent to America on in bondage).

My family actually owned slaves in the past.

Hit me up with some reparations dawg.

Ok, but you have to ask me nicely.

[MikeSoi11]

Thank you for the information. in regard to your username, my people's were actually maize farmers as slaves here in America (i recently did some geology work and traced my paternal ancestors and was able to find out what plantation they worked on, where in Africa they came from, even the ship they were sent to America on in bondage).

My family actually owned slaves in the past.

Hit me up with some reparations dawg.

Ok, but you have to ask me nicely.

More tea, sirrrrrrr?

Please, sirrrrrrr, let me have some monies.

I be mighty happy sirrrrrr.

[StreetCowboy]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

What is wrong with child support? It is your child, so take care of it.

It really looks like you are running, and from your moral obligation too.

wife gets teh house. then i pay for her so she can have a new bf. then pay for the kids too? what do i get?

You get to pretend the kids are yours

SC

[cpofc]

getting into the moral issues of child support. is a difficult subject and it is all too easy to label people deadbeat dads. But there are two sides to this coin. Especially where I come from.

A mate of mine split from his Thai wife in Australia. They had one daughter. She was an Ex Pat Pong girl from out of the Rufifi Bar in Patpong in the mid 80's. Child support gouged him so much he could not keep it up. The more he earnt, the more they took. He was paying for his daughters clothes, school fees and all other incidentals whilst still paying massive wads of child support gouged automatically from his wages with barely enough to live on. Not to mention that, because of the mothers behaviour, boyfriends, drinking piss, poker machines and bingo halls the daughter was spending more time at his place than hers, even though she had custody! She was having a bloody ball and couldn't care less about her daughter. He has a good relationship with his daughter, where his ex wife does not. The daughter was just a free ticket on the Australian Welfare gravy train.

So let us not be too quick to judge until we know ALL the facts. There are such things as deadbeat mothers too!

As far as starting a new life in Thailand? If you are going in cold. With no prior experience? After a bust up.

You're a braver man than I am gunga din. But why not? Life is an adventure and you only get one shot at the title.

I hope you are a fast learner. Trust few. Speak a little, listen alot. and bloody good luck to you.

[nakachalet]

mikesoi11

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

MIKE

YOU FORGOT ONE IMPORTANT THING!.... THE US EMBASSY IN BKK

IF YOU DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU ARE GOING TO DO, YOU WILL NOT PASS THE US EMBASSY COMPUTER INQUIRY....

THE COURT ORDERS, THE CHILD SUPPORT/WIFE SUPPORT WILL FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU GO--THAILAND OR OTHERS

DON'T DO IT, MIKE!

YOU WILL HAVE WORSE THAN A DOG'S LIFE, HAVING TO LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY

EVERY KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR WILL MAKE YOUR HEART SKIPS....

MIKE, DON'T DO IT, PLS!

[Jungian]

Nah, get your head together first before you come out here.

It's a dangerous place to be when you are on the rebound.

That is actually some very sound advice, chances are you will get involved in a worse relationship here than the one you just left. Also make sure you have enough money banked to come here, the proper visa (do you qualify for a visa?) And do you need to work? Work can be hard to find here depending on what you do and depending on the life style you like to live, teaching English is not going to give you much more than poverty level living.

[toret]

Thailand for vacation = very nice and easy for most people

Thailand for living = a constant battle for most people

[zorro1]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

Charming

With that attitude Im guessing your wife left you right? you do mention she has another man already , that's got to hurt knowing she gettin it every night while you troll the sois looking for cheap hookers

Pay the kids first , jeez there are some scum here

[Harcourt]

for job. i have some savings to use while i find one. i am not sure what to do but i think even if i must teach English as choice it is ok for me because i love thai people and i feel like being around the thai smiles is the one thing in this life that will be great every single day. i will not rush to get a job but find the best job available with my skills. in the past i have done alot of DJ work at private parties and clubs (I am African American and have previously worked behind the scenes in the studio for r+b industry) so that may be an option too.

Sorry, mate, not to be too critical, but you should have a good command of English before you propose to teach it.

[Harcourt]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

Charming

With that attitude Im guessing your wife left you right? you do mention she has another man already , that's got to hurt knowing she gettin it every night while you troll the sois looking for cheap hookers

Pay the kids first , jeez there are some scum here

Morally, I agree with you.... Deadbeat dads are a worldwide travesty.

But on a practical (realistic) side, there ARE many cases where court-ruled child/spousal support are totally unfair.

[losworld]

Dude pay the child support and stay in America. You have a responsibility to your children. If you were single I'd say go for it. If you were divorced without children I'd say go for it. But you have children and if you love them how can you leave them in the cold.

What did Obama say about African American fathers not taking responsibility? It's true for all colors and creeds but the numbers are particularly high in certain communities.

Lead by example and others will follow.

Good luck and hope you do the right thing.

[zorro1]

well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand.

Charming

With that attitude Im guessing your wife left you right? you do mention she has another man already , that's got to hurt knowing she gettin it every night while you troll the sois looking for cheap hookers

Pay the kids first , jeez there are some scum here

Morally, I agree with you.... Deadbeat dads are a worldwide travesty.

But on a practical (realistic) side, there ARE many cases where court-ruled child/spousal support are totally unfair.

Oh I agree with you 100% there however OP wants "off the hook" because he can live on that money here, now that's a big difference. Judging by that statement one can safely assume he isn't coming here to visit temples which suggests he will be supporting hookers rather than his own kids. Nothing wrong with supporting hookers of course but not at the expense of your own children and of course she will ban him from ever seeing them again and he seems okay with that. I reckon he is a balcony jumper in the making. just a matter of time before his conciseness forces him to alcoholism and then runs out of money followed by the b/girfriend leaving pronto and he becomes a stickman stastic.

[daoyai]

When my wife left me, I avoided child support by getting "joint custody" meaning my son stayed with me about 50% of the time so I could still have a good relationship and stay in his life. Best decision I ever made, kept me grounded and responsible. After he graduated and went off to college I moved to Thailand.(skype keeps us in contact now). Now no matter what happens I know I did right by him. Keep that in mind as you make your plans.

[ThaiBasil]

I am coming out of a divorce and really feel like Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. Do you agree? Please share your experience on such.

though you have to find the right spot in Thailand to rebuild.

If you burn your bridges now you end up digging a tunnel back home ..... (not sure what I mean by that, it sounded like the right response .......)

[Harcourt]

I take your point Zorro.

As a side issue, I've never heard the term "stickman" used except for single line cartoon drawings.....I'm curious about the term now as I used to read a bit on a site called Stickman's Bangkok. ...can you explain?

[MJP]

Nah, get your head together first before you come out here.

It's a dangerous place to be when you are on the rebound.

+1

Mike, be careful, very careful. I think this is a place you can relax but not rebuild your life. Frying pans and fires and wotnot.

[GrahamF]

This is an "accident" waiting to happen! Running away from your problems and responsibilities won't solve anything, they will follow you. You seem an ideal candidate for the Pattaya Flying Club.

Running away from supporting your child is heinous. I will admit that the divorce/child support laws can be pretty draconian towards men in the USA, but you have a responsibility to your child. Your complete disregard for your child makes me sick, sadly, you are reinforcing stereotypes about afro-american males in the USA. Before you get indignant about me writing about race/ethnicity, remember, you introduced the topic, slavery, reparations, etc,, so please don't go there.

A little offf topic, but once again you brought it up, reperations. Your ancestors, the Egyptians, enslaved my people, the Jews, long before anybody was enslaved in the USA.. So, if you ever get a check then just sign it and pass it on to me. And "puhlease" don't go into the "International Jewish Conspiracy Theory" rhetoric. Really, how could such a small minority suppress so many people on at least two continents.

[MikeSoi11]

A little offf topic, but once again you brought it up, reperations. Your ancestors, the Egyptians, enslaved my people, the Jews, long before anybody was enslaved in the USA.. So, if you ever get a check then just sign it and pass it on to me. And "puhlease" don't go into the "International Jewish Conspiracy Theory" rhetoric. Really, how could such a small minority suppress so many people on at least two continents.

eff that noise. you come at me like that and we will have a problem.

[MikeSoi11]

What did Obama say about African American fathers not taking responsibility? It's true for all colors and creeds but the numbers are particularly high in certain communities.

my ex wife is a white woman so dont even go there. my kids look more like hispanic or white than black.

[MikeSoi11]

When my wife left me, I avoided child support by getting "joint custody" meaning my son stayed with me about 50% of the time so I could still have a good relationship and stay in his life. Best decision I ever made, kept me grounded and responsible. After he graduated and went off to college I moved to Thailand.(skype keeps us in contact now). Now no matter what happens I know I did right by him. Keep that in mind as you make your plans.

you are lucky. the us courts look at a black man with a record and on the other side is a white woman and its game over. i would love to have the kids living with me here in Thailand and for her to be paying for it. that's a fantasy though because the us court system is anti-man, and completely racist and unfair.