David48 Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' ... A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says,'Touchdown, tie score...' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides Edited May 16, 2012 by David48 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirkieb Posted May 18, 2012 Share Posted May 18, 2012 in udon thani for f the first nrl state of origin game to be played wed 23 may where can we watch it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 SC, smokie, just a heads up that State of Origin Game I is on tonight, 7.30 bla bla for an 8pm kick-off. That makes it kick-off 6pm in KL and 10am (I think) in the Bonny Isles So SC, a LEGO man ... so was I. As a kid I was the easiest to guy Birthday and Christmas gifts for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 SC, smokie, just a heads up that State of Origin Game I is on tonight, 7.30 bla bla for an 8pm kick-off. That makes it kick-off 6pm in KL and 10am (I think) in the Bonny Isles So SC, a LEGO man ... so was I. As a kid I was the easiest to guy Birthday and Christmas gifts for. I still am. You should find somewhere on this thread a link to last superleague season in lego. I might rush home to get the second half, or enjoy the full match in delayed telecast on Friday evening. My money is on NSW to win this year, which would be particularly distressing, I would imagine, for Darren Lockyer. SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 My money is on NSW to win this year, which would be particularly distressing, I would imagine, for Darren Lockyer. SC Bite your tongue heathen. The blues are a mental mess. They have a guy playing whose own club coach won't play in 1st grade. Grasping at ephemeral straws. If you want a jersey, I'll pick you one up. Should be a stack of them in the gutter outside the pub once the game is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 My money is on NSW to win this year, which would be particularly distressing, I would imagine, for Darren Lockyer. SC Bite your tongue heathen. The blues are a mental mess. They have a guy playing whose own club coach won't play in 1st grade. Grasping at ephemeral straws. If you want a jersey, I'll pick you one up. Should be a stack of them in the gutter outside the pub once the game is over. I'll be supporting Queensland, same as I have done since I first watched SOO in an empty pub in Bali the first year of the current winning streak. That third game was tremendous. But I can't see the winning streak going on for ever... SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I'll post this again for all the lego rugby league superleague 2011 year review fans (there - that's all the key words if you want to search for it again) SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) No doubt you'll all be pleased to hear that I got home in time for the SOO - missed the first half hour or so. QLD 6 - 4 NSW - "Queensland have ground their way back into this game..." and Carvey loses the ball in the middle of the park five minutes before half-time SC Edited May 23, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 (edited) Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? Edited May 23, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? All (hic) the shame time (hic) go marooooonnnns Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? All (hic) the shame time (hic) go marooooonnnns In that case I'll have a pint. Thanks very much SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? SofO are always 3 weeks apart. Next one Sydney and the following one in Brisbane at Lang Park. I thought that it was a great game but the last try to QLD was a crap ref decision. We want to win with pride and the fight of the underdog ... not like that. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? SofO are always 3 weeks apart. Next one Sydney and the following one in Brisbane at Lang Park. I thought that it was a great game but the last try to QLD was a crap ref decision. We want to win with pride and the fight of the underdog ... not like that. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I will give you that NSW lost that game with their inevitable brain explosions rather than QLD winning it, but the scoreboard tells the tale at the end of the day. The lads have a bit of work to do on their defensive play before teh 2ndgame at ANZ. Way too much sitting back on defence, too many easy meteres for the scum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? SofO are always 3 weeks apart. Next one Sydney and the following one in Brisbane at Lang Park. I thought that it was a great game but the last try to QLD was a crap ref decision. We want to win with pride and the fight of the underdog ... not like that. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I will give you that NSW lost that game with their inevitable brain explosions rather than QLD winning it, but the scoreboard tells the tale at the end of the day. The lads have a bit of work to do on their defensive play before teh 2ndgame at ANZ. Way too much sitting back on defence, too many easy meteres for the scum. necronx99 ... I'd think that I would enjoy watching a game with you as your analysis was the same as mine. For most of the game NSW 'out-enthused' us in many areas and would be regularly making 40/50/60 metres in their sets of 6 where we might be 30/40/50 ... those 10 metres DO make a difference particularly when there is an option for an attacking kick rather then a defensive kick on the 5th tackle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted May 24, 2012 Share Posted May 24, 2012 Just goes to show how little I know - QLD 18 - 10 NSW SC EDIT: Is the next match same time, in Sydney, in a fortnight? and then a further fortnight later, same time in Suncorp? SofO are always 3 weeks apart. Next one Sydney and the following one in Brisbane at Lang Park. I thought that it was a great game but the last try to QLD was a crap ref decision. We want to win with pride and the fight of the underdog ... not like that. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I will give you that NSW lost that game with their inevitable brain explosions rather than QLD winning it, but the scoreboard tells the tale at the end of the day. The lads have a bit of work to do on their defensive play before teh 2ndgame at ANZ. Way too much sitting back on defence, too many easy meteres for the scum. necronx99 ... I'd think that I would enjoy watching a game with you as your analysis was the same as mine. For most of the game NSW 'out-enthused' us in many areas and would be regularly making 40/50/60 metres in their sets of 6 where we might be 30/40/50 ... those 10 metres DO make a difference particularly when there is an option for an attacking kick rather then a defensive kick on the 5th tackle. Heh, I was at the Doncaster in Randwick, the only QLD'r in a pub with 100's of whining sooks blaming the loss on everthing except their own inept play... Haven't been told to fxuk off that much for quite a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Magic Weekend starts tomorrow - all seven Superleague games over two days from the Etihad Stadium in Manchester. Including the Hull derby, St Helens v Wigan... Warrington meet Widnes, live on Astro, 10.30 Thai time on Saturday night, London go head to head with Catalans, Wakefield Cas will be the one to watch with the sound turned off and your eyes closed, Leeds Bradford is unlikely to be close, and the only game not showing on Astro (I think) is Salford Huddersfield. They're not all live, mind... And in the midst of that, Hong Kong play Khazahkstan (not at the same stadium! at Mong Kok - I wish i was going now, and I could pop into some of the sadly dismal pubs around there after the game...) anyway, 3 pm, live on Star or ESPN... SC As always, apologies for the OT digression - I am fortunate indeed that we seem to get less scrutinous oversight on this thread than elsewhere (I got a right panning for the last Clare Grogan reference so I'll leave you with this quote "Does anybody know how long to World War 3? I gotta know I wanna book me holidee") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 (edited) Gentlemen My apologies for the delay in transmission. I got home in time for half-time at the Warrington Widnes derby... Live from the Etihad Stadium, Magic Weekend, Manchester... Warrington 40 - 0 Widnes "but it isn't impossible, even if its a million to one" Remember, that 's not the same odds the bookie will give you... SC Edit: and its scoreless three minutes into the second half - Widnes force Warrington to knock on on the line ... and Widnes have a penaltynad they're within a couple of metres of the wire line; the referee says Flynwood (?) is held up... And for me, the highlight so far has been the Irn Bru adverts behind the Wire Goal Edit: and after Warrington are penalised for off-side, Widnes play the ball quickly, a few steps, a quick dab and Haggerty scores for Widnes "and suddenly a million to one is looking a lot less". I'm still not putting a pound on it, though, and not just for fear of the coppers Edit: and its all Widnes in the second half - they're not managing to convert pressure into points, but they're forcing errors from Warrington, and dominating possession something dreadful. Widnes pulled down for the third tackle on the Wire 10 metre line, and they're over, there's a big shout , but he spills the ball six inches above the line. "I think he's lost control of that - he's not hit the white wash... NO TRY 20 metre restart" EDIT and Warrington just won't let it lie...Warrington stretch their lead to 62-4 with eleven minutes to go; this will take Warrington top of the league, at least until Wigan play St Helens tomorrow... Edited May 26, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 And Joel Monaghan scores after the final whistle - after a speculative kick to the corner, grabbing the ball out of Willy Isa's hands "it hits the floor and bounces up into Joel Monaghan's hands" and Gareth O Brien kicks a record-breaking goal-kicking performance, Warrington Wizards 68 - 4 Widnes Vilings... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Congrats SC...your lot are fair hitting some form now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Well, my apologies, Gents. I'd popped out for a quick glass of light refreshment and I got a phone call and was quite way-layed... Anyway, 18 minutes into the Hull derby, from Etihad Stadium, Manchester, in the Magic Weekend Hull 18 - 12 HKR Gaun yersel' Smokie! HKR are playing in blue, for the benefit of people watching in black and white... SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Twenty minutes to go, Hull 24 - 16 HKR, and the stadium is still half-empty; that;s got to be the most telling score of the weekend... Its Mr Ganson in the middle, by the way, before anyone starts speculating. No idea who the TV adjudicator is SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Arrrgh I can;t get a live feed anywhere!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 nonono....Old Faithful......!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 I have to say I am somewhat surprised there is noone posting from the Etihad Stadium Magic Weekend... and I interrupt this drivel to highlight it has all gone mad at the Etihad. Hullkingstonerovers have a penalty from FC stripping, four point sbehinf on the 10 metre line two tackles to go... the kick through".. was thata knock on" "No it wasn't" "Well I'm not so sure" And FC hoof it up the field,,, Four minutes.... Helpmagoodness - Hodgeson runs the length of theputch and everyone goes mad in their own way; the blackandwhites are holding their heads, and hulkingstonerovers lead Hull 32-30 with a kick to come... and Dobson has missed And before the kick-of, the final whistle goes C'est la vie,as they say in England "Dad, dad, can I have a Wigan shirt" "Its not that bad, son..." SC Actually, that reminds me of a joke, which I am sure you have all heard,., Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Devastated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 How is Wakefield going? Or are their shirts discounted already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) Devastated. My commiserations, Smokie; it was a good game, and hull were leading right up to the end... How is Wakefield going? Or are their shirts discounted already? Castleford 26 - 32 Wakefield puts some daylight between Wakefield and Widnes at the bottom of the table. Wakefield are now level with Castleford, on eight points, with a game in hand. London, also on 4 points at the foot of the table, play Catalans today... At the other end, Wigan play St Helens, needing a draw to go back on top SC Edit: and I doubt that you'll be interested to hear that Edinburgh Eagles beat Ayrshire Storm 70 - 4, and Aberdeen Warriors beat East Lothian Hawks 24-0; East Lothian has dropped out of the league, after failing to field a team for their first two matches; hopefully their second season will be better... Edited May 27, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted May 27, 2012 Share Posted May 27, 2012 (edited) In a thriller Salford edge Huddersfield 38-34 to put a dampener on their top-three ambitions Bradford leading Leeds 18-12 after 28 minutes, with live coverage just starting on Astro., I don't think I'll stay up for Wigan - Saints - midnight (THAI) kick-off... It has been a great Magic Weekend at the Etihad Stadium in Manchester SC And a Rob Burrow break sets Danny McGuire free to score at the posts, and the conversion levels the scores at 18 apiece, and that's the way the half ends Edited May 27, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonobo Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 Please forgive some stupid questions, but I have been watching Rugby League lately, and there are two things I don't understand. I played 15-man rugby in the US along with a bit of sevens, so I am familiar with those. First, what is with the scrums? Two scrums just stand close together, the ball is put in without being contested, and the team putting in the ball takes it into play. Second, when a guy gets tackled, two or three guys lay on him until after a few moments, the guy getting tacked starts flopping around like a fish out of water, or a rat getting nerve-gassed. What is with all that flopping around? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) Please forgive some stupid questions, but I have been watching Rugby League lately, and there are two things I don't understand. I played 15-man rugby in the US along with a bit of sevens, so I am familiar with that. First, what is with the scrums? Two scrums just stand close together, the ball is put in without being contested, and the team putting in the ball takes it into play. Second, when a guy gets tackled, two or three guys lay on him until after a few moments, the guy getting tacked starts flopping around like a fish out of water, or a rat getting nerve-gassed. What is with all that flopping around? Back before I was young, and Queen Victoria was our beloved monarch, the Northern Clubs went professional. This, by the way, is some time after the clubs who had previously left the Union to form an Association, and picked up (or rather not picked up) a round ball, had gone professional. Anyway, The Northern Clubs left the Union so that they could pay their players, and they formed a (the) League. To make the game more entertaining, and thus get more bums on seats, and hence money form the bums to pay the players, they eliminated all the pernicious forward skullduggery of rucks and mauls and scrums. The scrum, in league, is effectively just a way of restarting the game after a team makes a mistake, and keeps the forwards in one place to give the backs more space to run about for a moment. As well as being a way of restarting the game, it is also an abomination in the sight of the Lord, by the way. as well as eliminating the arcane black arts of the scrum, they also took an axe to the Sodom and Gomorrah of the ruck, as the referees in those days were not as fit as they are now, and were exhausted with all the whistle-blowing. Rather than having a big pile-on and a bit of eye-gouging and ear-biting, and some (hopefully) unseen sleight of hand in the rucks, once the tackle is completed, they just let the man stand up and play the ball. The two or three fellas lying on top of him hold him down for just a moment - as long a moment as they can get away with so that their team mates can get back on side and enjoy a quick cigarette while they recover their breath. Meanwhile the tackled player flops - like a great big silvery salmon - in order to give the impression to the referee that he wants to get up and is being prevented from doing so, in the vain hope of being awarded a penalty so that he does not need to stand up and run straight into two or three blokes twice his size - Again! So in essence, that's the Northern League for you. A far more entertaining game to watch at the park, but less technical complex. With the excellent TV coverage and telephoto lenses and whatnot, Union can be more interesting on television. Also, when you can't see the whole pitch, you don't really see what's going on with League, whereas often Union really benefits from the sharp focus of the TV camera. When watching on the radio, it is particularly hard to see what's happening, while even the intermittent text commentary you get on this rugby league thread is quite entertaining, I hope. Probably the most frustrating game of rugby I ever watched was Scotland's first ever world cup win, over Fiji, in the 2008 rugby league world cup. I watched on the latest scores page of the BBC web site, in the Penalty Spot on Sukhumvit Road. I hope the coverage of the 2013 World Cup is better. SC Edit: First ever league world cup win; of course up until this last world cup, Scotland had never been knocked out before the quarter-finals of the Union world cup Edited June 2, 2012 by StreetCowboy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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