Wife's Aunty 2 (or 3) Timing English Man

[bankei]

To the OP Would Phils last name begin with a C by any chance?

Sorry, don't know Phil's last name. Get him to pm maybe?

[HappyThaiLife]

Tell him when you are out of the country. He could then just stop seeing her and no one would know...

[bifftastic]

How well do you get on with 'aunty'? If it were me I'd tell my wife i strongly disapprove and also I'd talk with aunty. Difficult situation to be in, someone in your family doing wrong. It all depends on your relationship with your family as a whole. Do they care what you think? Do they expect you to keep their secrets? Have they spoken to you about it? I've been in the situation where close friends have been cheating on their wife/girlfriend and I've let them know exactly how I feel about it, assuming, of course that it is meant to be an exclusive relationship in the first place!

All I can advise is do what you think is right. Only you know what your relationship with aunty is so only you know how she will react but I would talk with her first rather than just grass her up.

[473geo]

Here is the logic

The Uk guy is happy

The Thai guy is happy

The Aussie is happy

the Auntie is happy

the only person who is not happy is you.....?

[a2396]

Hi

My wife's aunty is 2 timing a bloke from England. She has a Thai boyfried who goes away when the English man comes over. She also has another Aussie man who she looks after, but I am not sure if there is a sexual relationship there.

I have only met the English guy once, before the Thai man come on the scene, and he is a nice guy who has been burned before. I want to let him know at least, but all hel_l will break lose if they find out it was me.

Would you tell?

(if you are an english plumber who goes to Thailand you had better get your pipes checked)

If he has been "burned before" he should know that this stuff is common behavior with the lovelies in LOS. If he does not live with her 24/7, impossible to know what she is up to.

[baboon]

she will just double down on her lie, give him a nice rimmer and blame it all on you after he confeesses that you have been putting these 'ideas' in his head.

stay out of it.

(or dont listen and watch exactly the above happen)

Not to mention turning on the waterwoks. Agree with the above.

I had a Thai woman once playing around behind my back. I only WISH someone had told me. It would have saved a lot of time, grief and money. As I said, even if the person blindly goes on believing a follow up deception by the cheating woman, at least he has been warned. It's the right thing to do and that is what matters. Ask yourself the obvious question - Would you want to know? Some people don't, most however do want to be told. Either way, you provide the person being deceived with the choice.

....and potentially make some nasty enemies.

[apetley]

In response to the OP.

I posed the situation to my Thai wife.

She said that she would first ask her aunt to stop two timing the guy and threaten to tell him if she didn't.

If aunty didn't mend her ways my wife would carry out her threat and let the guy know what is going on.

I would do the same thing.

[baboon]

Look, what I mean is this: I have a couple of friends also being two timed. Maybe they have an inkling, maybe they do not.I say nothing because in one specific case I would most likely receive a good kicking for my trouble, in the other hatred from a neighbour. It is just not worth it. Having said that, if it was my Brother or close friends in the UK I had known for years I probably would say something.

Thailand is just the wrong place to make enemies, no matter how noble your intentions may be.

P.S. No. I do not know where MY Wife is at the minute.

[hughben]

I would only inform if it couldn't get back to me.

An anonymous email, or a message to his hotel probably when you were out of town would be the best bet.

If you tell him to his face, he may be one of those child like idiots that will drop your name in it.

If the aunt and her Thai ponce get on your back, you should always deny and maybe have your wife imply the Australian guy or someone else may have got wind of it.

[imaneggspurt]

Yes tell him, then he can go and find another that does the same,. but seriously,, keep out of it, 1/he probably wont believe you, 2/2 when he finds out he wont thank you,....

[RickBradford]

Of course, it's possible that the OP decides not to tell his friend, the friend finds out off his own bat, and the OP gets blamed for spilling the beans anyway...

[Pakboong]

More often than not, it is the Thai guy who is being two-timed. His consent or not.

[Heng]

Sounds like misery wishing for company.

In reality, Thai wives/gals in Thai-Thai relationships are usually way too busy trying to keep their nose above water tackling the unfair imbalance of household responsibility that gets put on their shoulders and at the same time policing their guys trying to keep them honest. For Thai wives/gals who have migrant worker type husbands/boyfriends who are abroad, the generalization might be more true. What typically keeps them in check though is the whole 'few degrees of separation' social 'infonet' available to both sexes (but typically not foreigners). Among locals, it's generally known who is cheating and who isn't, and as the stereotype goes, it's mostly the guys.

[IanForbes]

I frankly don't know what some men expect when they leave their wives for such long periods of time. And, especially so if the woman was a former bar worker. I know a Thai woman who is always having affairs when her husband is away, but he only comes to visit her for a month each year. And, she is a young, attractive woman who has her needs. She just treats her husband as a sugar daddy. I wouldn't bother telling him because he will probably find out on his own anyway. It's not my job to butt in. And besides, if he is happy when he IS around then no harm, no foul. If a man can not be in Thailand for most of the year then I think it makes a whole lot more sense to have a "rental" for the short period that he is around. Much cheaper that way and a whole lot more convenient.

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

OP, you admit that you hardly know the English guy being two-timed, so there really is no reason for you to get involved at this point. If you meet him next time he comes over to visit the aunt, see how it plays out... maybe he views the relationship as a casual overseas fling or maybe he is madly in love with the her and wants to tie the knot.

Best to decide the best course of action after having more info - at this point, like most have advised, the potential trouble you could get into from telling him doesn't justify the potential benefits.

Cheers

[pattaya_girl]

I would tell him - its a shame for the guy, sending Money over for her and she is going with someone else, she is probably keeping the Thai guy.

There are plenty more fish in the sea. Get him told !!!

[yabaaaa]

she will just double down on her lie, give him a nice rimmer and blame it all on you after he confeesses that you have been putting these 'ideas' in his head.

stay out of it.

(or dont listen and watch exactly the above happen)

Not to mention turning on the waterwoks. Agree with the above.

I had a Thai woman once playing around behind my back. I only WISH someone had told me. It would have saved a lot of time, grief and money. As I said, even if the person blindly goes on believing a follow up deception by the cheating woman, at least he has been warned. It's the right thing to do and that is what matters. Ask yourself the obvious question - Would you want to know? Some people don't, most however do want to be told. Either way, you provide the person being deceived with the choice.

Yes but at the time, honestly ,would you have believed the person telling you?

[venturalaw]

she will just double down on her lie, give him a nice rimmer and blame it all on you after he confeesses that you have been putting these 'ideas' in his head.

stay out of it.

(or dont listen and watch exactly the above happen)

Not to mention turning on the waterwoks. Agree with the above.

I had a Thai woman once playing around behind my back. I only WISH someone had told me. It would have saved a lot of time, grief and money. As I said, even if the person blindly goes on believing a follow up deception by the cheating woman, at least he has been warned. It's the right thing to do and that is what matters. Ask yourself the obvious question - Would you want to know? Some people don't, most however do want to be told. Either way, you provide the person being deceived with the choice.

Yes but at the time, honestly ,would you have believed the person telling you?

Fair question. Wouldn't have wanted to, but I would have started to pay more attention to the warning signs (they were there) instead of being so trusting. One thing for sure, I would have protected the person who tipped me off (never disclose my source) at virtually any cost. As it turned out, he/she would have saved me thousands of dollars.