"i Love Sir"

[Erawan]

I was just wondering out of interest, whether or not anyone here has had to deal with any of their students developing a crush on them or falling in love with them? How did you handle it? When I thought of this question, I was just thinking of secondary schools and such, but I'm also interested in those of you who teach adults. When you are contracted by a private language school, is there any clause in the contract that forbids you from seeing or dating your students outside of the classroom? Not that they could really stop you anyway.

One more thing, just how many women teach English over here in Thailand in comparison to men? I'm guessing only a handful. I'm lead to believe that all English teachers in Thailand are males - that can't be right, can it?

[devildog683]

you should talk to kreon on this......

[Ajarn]

"The Abbot never eats the temple chicken" (A Thai saying)

Just keep in mind who you are, what your duties are, and what your responsibilities should include.

And be strong

[Thetyim]

Many vacancies are for women only.

In Phrae there are as many female as male falang teachers.

If you had any idea what the female students in Phrae were like you would understand why.

[Ijustwannateach]

For various reasons that may occur to you with a little imagination, dating someone's adult students is usually something that teachers only ever try once, if ever. From what I've heard about such situations, they almost inevitably end in disaster- imagine the hold it gives a student over your employment. Most of the actual flings go sour and the teacher gets fired before the end of the course (because it's easier to find a new teacher than to get a new paying customer, or a whole group of customers if the teacher's rep has been blackened).

In a high school this is even dodgier, as the teacher has a moral and parental responsibility and privilege (and should know ###### well better). Fantasies may occur, and are natural- but the teacher is the mature one and should make sure (on either side!) that they remain fantasies. Students WILL form attractions to teachers, naturally enough. A responsible educator will keep his own feelings completely disguised and discourage any inappropriate behaviors by the student, preferably without crushing the student's feelings in the process. It's part of your JOB to do so!

Furthermore, it's also against the law specifically for government school teachers to have relationships with their students, even if those students are legal age. The fact that such a law needs to exist may give you some hints about what prompted the need (among Thais) for such a law. The extent to which Thailand respects the rule of law may give you idea as to how successful this law is in practice- I think out in the sticks a lot of things happen that wouldn't pass muster legally.

So I don't know whether I've exactly answered your question. I sure wonder what prompted it, though! Maybe this is one more reason (than the ones on your other threads) for you to get a girlfriend, fast!

"Steven"

[PeaceBlondie]

I'm quite sure that one or more of my former M4 students had a crush on me during my first year. One in particular was a big flirt, but it probably wasn't exclusive to me. None of us acted on it, of course. This year, since I really only taught M1, none of the 18-year olds got close enough to be obvious flirts. It was out of the question, anyway (but that's not to say the student won't give it a try).

If I were no longer teaching in the same city, and one of my former students contacted me (and were of legal age), I'd consider it. In fact, I sometimes socialize with a 19-year old who's from that province, but there's no real connection (we weren't at the same school at the same time).

Anywhere you work, it's a bad idea to date current coworkers, clients, bosses, employees, etc. It's always unprofessional for a teacher to date students.

[Plus+]

I know at least three teachers who have developed long and steady relationshiops with their former students. Language courses at private schools are usually only 30 hours long, and after that there were no problems with dating.

[Neeranam]

I know at least three teachers who have developed long and steady relationshiops with their former students. Language courses at private schools are usually only 30 hours long, and after that there were no problems with dating.

Likewise, I have known heaps of guys to have a long lasting good relationship with ex-students.

I think "ex" is very important.

[Thetyim]

You are not going to believe this post.

A teacher at the local Gov. girls High School was having a relationship with a student. He was caught. The school board could not keep him on as a teacher so he was relieved of duties and moved to a new post.

And the new post was investigating and diciplining complaints of student/teacher sexual misconduct for the whole chumwat.

By the way he still has his ex-student

[nokmdk]

One of my M3 students had/has a crush on me for the past year.

I just keep being the big brother type,never being alone in a room with her and always knowing my role. I'm sorry, but this is one of them subjects i'm very bad at. I have very high morals and do not feel its proper at any level. I will now just watch your responses to the others and keep my mouth shut.

Best of luck

[Ijustwannateach]

^You bring up a good point. It's always wise to remember that kids are NOT mature, and their fantasies can do bad things to your career if you're not careful. If you even think some kid has these kinds of feelings about you, it's better to make sure there could never even be any allegations- never be alone with the kid and preferably avoid getting any reputation for socializing with any students outside of school events. Then if the kid decides to start making up stories about how you and he/she are "sweethearts" or something everyone will know it to be the nonsense it is.

"Steven"

[meadish_sweetball]

Oooooh. When I kissed the teacher.

/Abba

[The_Eye_Of_Sauron]

Don't lick anyone's head (a la Michael Jackson)

its like licking a shag pile carpet.

[Erawan]

Lol, chill out guys! I only thought of this because I 'might' possibly take up that teaching offer (dependant on some other factors) and when I have been to some schools, I was a large focus of attention, so I thought it would probably be something I would have to contend with.

Rest assured, that I know it would be more hassle than it would be worth and would be a LOT of grief. 'IF' I take the job, I would not want to make things more difficult for myself and I would do my best to behave in a professional manner, even though I may not be one .

Edited April 17, 2005 by Erawan

[esan psycho]

I'm quite sure that one or more of my former M4 students had a crush on me during my first year.  One in particular was a big flirt,

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The 45 year+ age difference wasn't an issue for him/her then?